Hey K.. I completely understand your issue of having a child that will not eat baby food. I have a 1 yr old now that would not eat baby food from about 8 mos on. She would scream and turn her head and fight us all the way. I tried everything from stage 2, stage 3 and graduates foods....she hated them. I finally gave in one night and gave her some potatoes. She was in heaven. Kids will tell you what they want. Some will eat baby food and some will not. Just like you and me, our tastebuds are different, I may like something you don't. Kids are like that too. My second one ate baby food till she almost 16 mos old, if that tells you anything. Easy suggestions....Mac-N-Cheese, cooked veggies (steamed sometimes can still be crunchy, i found boiling them makes them softer), Ravioli (cut-up), spagetti....pretty much anything that can be mashed. My daughter also did well with cooked chicken nuggets as long as I cut them super small. For breakfast we found out that she loves eggs, cereal with milk(go figure) and toast. Talk to your daycare too. A lot of them provide food now, but I was not always comfortable with the idea of them feeding my little ones lunch. I have worked in daycare and they are not always careful to cut things up small enough for me, so I always preferred to do it myself.
As for the milk....you do not want to mix milk in until she is at least 11 mos old and I personally never started that soon. My 15 mo old is still on formula. I personally recommend the Next Step Formulas for a period of time after their first birthdays. Cows milk does not provide enough of the vitamins and minerals that they need for proper growth. All of my children stayed on formula well after their first birthdays and then at about 1 1/2 I weened them to 2% milk. My baby is still weening to milk right now. Keep in mind though that this is a mere suggestion and speak with your pediatrician for real guidance if you are unsure. Mine has always led me in the right direction. Good luck!