Fears/concerns over Being Pregnant Again?

A., My 1st child was 4 months old when I got pregnant again. I am high risk so i had to go the doctor a lot. I had to deliver by c section with my 1st one and since they were so close together i had to deliver my last one by c section. I was scared out of my mind because my daughter had something wrong with her heart! But she is okay now and running around behind her brother hitting him over the head with cars. Some people say its bad to have them so close together but if they werent so close together I dont think they would grow up and be close.

I am sad to say that I was told in the delivery room that I am not able to have anymore children because the scar on the inside of my uteraus was paper thin and could rip and cause internal bleeding. Yes it is very hard to chase after a 2 yr old and a 1 yr old. I have to send them to my "rents" house for a day or two so i can get laundry done because my husband works nights and he sleeps during the day but i wouldnt give them away for the world. I also suffered from postpartum.

I was afraid of having another C-section until I started doing my research. The more I read the more I felt like my C-Section was not nessassary. Of course mine was not an emergency either. I do however, have pain when I work out too hard on my abs. It feels just like the muscles at my incision did back when I was almost recovered from the C-Section. I had a VBAC and it turned out nothing was wrong with my incision. That pain worried me too because they thought I was having a 7 lb. baby when in fact he was 9lbs. and they "tore" me open further once they found his head wouldn't fit through the incision. My scar is off center and that torn area is where my pain was. Maybe this is weird but I haven't had that pain since before giving birth to my second.

There is no medical reason any hosopital should have a C-Section rate of higher than 15%. In fact most hospitals have near a 75% Csection rate.

There is also only a 1% chance that a C-Section will cause the uterus to rupture on a later birth.

o my you are defintly not alone I have had 5 children and each one I had that fear and the fear of not having enough love for the next baby. my 2nd pregnency was the worst I was convinced that there was no way on earth that I could love another baby as much as the first one and I had some of the strangest dreams asleep and awake lol. ok here is a realy weird one that I am sure will get a few laughs I had a dream that I went to the hospital and got there to have the baby I was having the baby and it was a girl but it looked like a eggplant with eyes and arms and legs. lol ha ha ha it felt soooo real. I have had dreams about me and the baby being harmed and even me dying in the delivery room but thank the good lord that nothing bad happened. and the thought of getting pregnet again HEL* NO! lol hey I love kids as long as no more comes out of me lol
I hope I helped your fear a least a little bit and that things go good with you keep me posted or if you or anyone wanna talk just E-mail me or let me no on here I will be more then hppy to talk with you.
GOOD LUCK
Kathy

A.- I feel like I'm in just the same boat, except that I didn't have a c-section. My daughter's umb. cord was wrapped around her neck though, so they had to rush the end of the delivery and do suction, and therefore, a very big incision in me. I also had very bad bruising from pushing incorrectly, so recovery was no fun and while I don't think I actually had PPD, it was really hard on me physically and emotionally. And because of several women around me having problems since then, I feel more nervous approaching this pregnancy. I was a bit naive/ignorant before my first one, so I didn't worry much. This time I worry more about the logistics and about caring for and dealing with my now 17 month-old daughter and a newborn next summer (hopefully). Like you, I've had to put the brakes on, since my husband wanted to have our children really close together. I just remind myself that even if I get pregnant very soon, it will be another 9,10 + months before I actually have the baby and that's a pretty long time. I think it's great that you're admitting your feelings now. And you can wait as long as you want (and your husband should WANT you to be ready first), but then again, you may have these fears despite how long you wait. Good luck!

First of all you arent the only one who has those fears and problems. with my first child i was in labor 33 hours of active labor and ended up in a csection. i think it is the kids way to tell us they dont want to come out and that you have to come get me. LOL. my second child was born 20 months ago via c section and i still have pain on one side of my incision, and i was told by a specialist that my incision was healed but it still hurt. i was told that it is just the muscles reshaping them self and that it would go away within time.

As the other mother's said you are definitley not alone. While they talked about the logistics of having another baby around I'll address the physical aspects.

I'm a chronic miscarrier. I was thrilled when I started my 2nd pregnancy but I also had the fear of another painfilled pregnancy with a lot of pre-term labor and bed rest. Unfortunately my ex and I had a physical fight and I had a miscarriage. The next 4 pregnancies didn't survive either and each pregnancy produced not only the labor/prelabor fears but concerns for every twitch and pain even between pregnancies.

Then the surprise came, Ds#2 was concieved after I had given up trying. The fears mounted again along with the external pressure of my Ex stopping my visitaions of my oldest for the 2nd time over me replacing his son with another baby. I fell into an anxiety filled pregnancy with nothing to do to fill my time with worry and brood. The labor was just as rough and brought some new surprises. My post-partum was really plagued with depression and anxiety as well. But we made it through.

I concieved again almost immediately but lost the baby and suffered an ectopic before we concieved DS#3. This time my husband told me I needed to have a better mind set. I still had my down days early on but I knew I could do it again because there are so many milestones to look forward to.

You're body will know when it's ready but you also have to let your psyche recover from the trauma. You do have to let go of the letdown of a less than ideal birth. Take advantage of all the modern conviences this next time and you will enjoy it more. No birth is perfect and no birth is exactly like the previous one.

Now all my births were natural, but I know of women that had spiral uterine incisions during c-sections which are more likely to rupture in a subsequent pregnancy and went on to have other children naturally or by c section.

Given your line of work and your education you need to let go of the analytical part of your fears and just devolve into the ripe woman you are and your body will do the rest.

Have fun.

A.,

You are absolutely, positively not alone in the fears of a second pregnancy!

I'm currently pregnant with Baby #2 (they'll be 17 mos apart!). Don't get me wrong - I'm THRILLED, THRILLED to be having another child (we were trying, after all) but it's terrifying at the same time!!

I can't tell you the number of sleepless nights I've already had. I'm scared about how the delivery will go, how I'll take care of 2 kids that are so young & close in age, if my son will feel mad about not being the only one anymore, etc, etc, etc...

I had an ectopic pregnancy the first time I got pregnant & I still get terrified when I first get pregnant that something's wrong. I'm only 14-1/2 weeks pregnant and I've already had FOUR ultrasounds to make sure everything's OK (it is, thank God).

I guess I don't have any great words of wisdom except to say that if a zillion other women can do it, so can we! :-)

If you want to talk some more, please don't hesitate to send me a personal message. I'm happy to talk!

Hugs,

J.

Hey A.!

I know enough about fear and pregnancies to know that THAT is normal. But wanted to add that, while I haven't had a c-section, I have had some abdominal surgeries....tubal ligation and reversal and inguinal hernia repair. The healing took years....literally. I had sharp pains whenever I exerted myself in any way. I had two subsequent pregnancies that were completely healthy and normal. You know, normal like SICK SICK SICK:) but no compications from the surgeries. I had thought there was something wrong, but thankfully, it just takes a long time for the body to relax into it's new state. Good luck with the TTC stage:)