Fears??

Dear L.,

A mind B-complex dificency will aggrevate any fears and compound the situation. Get your daughter on a very good multi vitamin and then get her on vitamin B1 100 mgs a day. You vcould do the multi vits twice a day or just in the morning. This should help a lot.

The other thing is have her look at these places and tell you about the fear. Go over lots of examples of people being hurt at a place but many thousands of others not being hurt. It is a matter of communicating it in a way that she can fully grasp.

The vitamin B1 that I recommended really helped my daughter with nightmares. It took some time, but it worked.

D.

Just a thought... if she already experiences so much anxiety and fear at 10 years old, she probably ALREADY feels very abnormal. It sounds like her problems are really beginning to interfere with her life. And it sounds like the problems are getting progressively worse, not better. Therapy is a LOGICAL step here, not a reason to make her feel "abnormal." She sounds like she would welcome a little relief. I am betting mom and dad would too!

Hi L.. It sounds like a classic example of panic/generalized anxiety disorder (my 11 year-old has it, so I know exactly what you are going through). Your first step is to ask her pediatrician for a referral to a behavorial health specialist/therapist. They will guide you from there. There are social group classes she can attend, also, that help her recognize her anxiety levels increasing and show her how to deal with the feelings. It's difficult on parents, because they begin to question themselves and wonder if it was something they did or didn't do to make their child so anxious/nervous. It took awhile for me to realize that it's genetic (anxiety disorders on both sides of the family) and it's my job to get him the help he needs to deal with it for the rest of his life. Take care and hang in there. Best of luck.

MY CHILDREN ARE YOUNG, BUT YOUR TITLE "FEARS" CAUGHT MY ATTENTION. MY SON DOESN'T HAVE HIGH ANXIETY AS YOU DESCRIBED ABOUT YOUR DAUGHTER, ALTHOUGH HE OFTEN CLIMBS OUT OF BED CLAIMING HE WAS SCARED. OUR SOLUTION...WE REASSURE HIM THAT JESUS WILL ALWAYS KEEP HIM SAFE. [AND MAYBE I JUST LOST YOU THERE?] OUR FAMILY BELIEVES IN GOD. WE PRAY, GO TO CHURCH - GOD IS APART OF OUR EVERYDAY LIVES. MY SON IS REASSURED ON A DAILY BASIS THAT JESUS IS ALWAYS WITH HIM AND WILL KEEP HIM SAFE!! THOSE SIMPLE WORDS CALM HIS HEART AND HELP HIM TO SLEEP WELL.

I'M NOT SAYING THAT BY DROPPING YOUR DAUGHTER OFF AT HER AFTER SCHOOL PROGRAM SAYING "HAVE FUN SWEETIE, JESUS IS WITH YA. DON'T CRY..." IS INITIALLY GOING TO WORK, BUT I AM SUGGESTING DEVELOPING A FOUNDATION OF TRUST IN JESUS CHRIST. THE BIBLE SAYS THAT JESUS WILL GIVE US A PEACE THAT SURPASSES ALL UNDERSTANDING [AND IF SURPASSES OUR UNDERSTANDING, THEN WE MAY NOT BE ABLE TO UNDERSTAND WHY WE HAVE PEACE IN CERTAIN CIRCUMSTANCES.] "JESUS" JUST ISN'T FOR ADULTS, "HE" LIVES IN THE HEARTS OF CHILDREN AS WELL.

I HOPE THAT I HAVEN'T OFFENDED YOU WITH MY SUGGESTION. IT'S NOT MY INTENTION. AND I HOPE I HAVEN'T TURNED YOU OFF TO SEEKING FOR MORE HELP. MAMASOURCE SEEMS TO BE A GREAT CONNECTION FOR MOMS ACROSS OUR AREA.

I WISH YOU SUCCESS.

My son has some issuses like that sometimes. He got his finger slammed in a car door at steak and shake and everytime we go past he has to reitterate that he will not go there. I think talking with your pediatricition about your concerns and go from there. Consulting a psycologist is not a problem either because if this is not solved she will never get on with her life and it may be worse as she gets older. But enough of my opinion. Definatley consult her Dr. and even go to a psycologist consult without her and see what they say. Make sure when you do talk to someone that you have specifics so they get the point. Good Luck!

Sorry this will be brief I just thought this could help-----
Your a nurse : Do you talk about "work" at home where she may hear and understand more than you know. Have you said - I took care of that patient best-of-all or luckily I was his/her nurse? Does she feel you will leave her somewhere because you have had to leave a patient who needed you?
Her fears are related to you being a nurse, somehow?
I think you should get her to therapy, make it a special thing, the doctor wanted to interview and get to know the most special beautiful little girl and they chose you.
That might be a little much but you get the idea. Good Luck.

I am a strong beleiver of therapy. My son who is now 16 had issues after I divorced his father. My son was 2 at the time. His father was never around and when he did have him it was like my son was just a tag along. He started to sleep walk stortly after that and became very violent towards me and would throw tantrums by kicking, hitting and biting me. I was a single mother at the time had no one to turn to and my doctor suggested going to a child therapist. We ended up going to a family counsler who dealt with families and specilized with children. He suffers from father adbandoment syndrome. He hasn't seen her since he was 12 and our regular doctor maintains his medicine. As he got older he was affraid to talk to me about things in his life out of fear, he was able to talk to her without any problems. Over the years we have learned to communicate and he confides in me now. But he also knows that if there is ever an issue he can't, i will take him to the counsler and he can talk to her. It hurts when he ask to go see her, i know that he needs to talk to someone, and I would rather it be her than anyone else. His relationship with his father has slowly been growing and I leave that up to the two of them to work it out. I hope my experience somewhat helps.

My boys have all gone or are going through similar issues. Have you tried giving a "lovey" to your child? It could be anything from a special necklace to a photo of you & Dad or a small stuffed animal ... something she can wear or keep close by in a pocket/backpack. That worked great with my oldest. My youngest is afraid of the dark, he's only 2½, but it gets very annoying to constantly be asked to "follow me" whenever he needs to go to another room - even in the bright day! So what we did for him is give him a small flashlight that is easy to turn on and off and whenever he needs to go somewhere alone we tell him to take his light and it does the trick.
As for being a nurse and her fear of the hospital, could it be from "horror stories" you may talk about that she can overhear? Maybe a trip to the hospital where you work a walk around L&D so she can see the babies in the nursery and the GOOD parts of the hospital would help? Just going out on a limb with that one, but it may work. Good luck!!

L., your poor little darling. It sounds like she does need help, professional help. I understand what you are saying about not wanting her to feel abnormal, but there are ways you can get her help without her feeling that way. You don't have to tell her she is going to see a doctor to fix her. You can say " I told a really good friend all about you and how funny/cute/silly you are and they would love to meet you. But she/he is so busy we have to meet them where they work. But they thought you sounded like such a sweet girl they can't wait to meet you and play with you." And do your research, pick a place that is warm and cozy and does not resemble a hospital (due to her fear). Also, talk to the doctor and let them know that you don't want her to think she is going to a "doctor who is going to fix her" and tell them why.
I do understand how you would never want your child to feel different than normal, but she is young now and may not realize it on her own. But if it goes unhelped, one day she will be old enough to realize all by herself that it is not normal. It is also a lot harder to go to a doctor once your older - denial; what your friends might think; who would see them go there; etc... You don't want her to live her life in fear forever, you can help her be happy all of the time. I hope this helps, and keep us posted!