This is exactly why I stand on a soap box and YELL out loud for parents to choose pediatric denitsts. I am so sorry for your childs experiences. You are going to have issues for the rest of her life. You will need to just give her drugs to calm her down and after she gets enough confidence in the new dentist she may feel more at ease. Good for you finding another way to deal with the serious dental needs of your child.
As a child I had bad teeth and my parents just didn't take me to the dentist regularily. I have horrible teeth now as an adult and to get dental work done I go to the oral surgeon, get knocked out, and get the teeth pulled.
These are a couple of my worst experiences. I had an abscess in my front tooth in high school The dentist held me down and drilled my tooth with me yelling it wasn't numb yet. I had my wisdom teeth out and the dentist used his forearm to accidentaly keep rubbing my breasts during the initial visit while he examined me, then I had to be in the room with him by myself wile knocked out...I was terrified. Still am, even just cleaning them.