Fear in My 12 Month Old Baby Girl

My eldest daughter had separation anxiety very badly it started at 8 months and didn't ease up until 16 months, I started leaving her with a best friend who had a child her age just for an hour, she would go frantic even vomit a little when I left but soon stopped, it was hard to do but I needed to get her used to being apart from me and feeling safe.After she was better with my friend I started going a gym where I put her in the daycare for the hour I worked out, she began to really like it although she always cried each time but as soon as I was gone she stopped.She was more at ease where there were other children present if that helps. My second daughter has not had it all so therefore I conclude its nothing I was doing wrong she was just very attached to me and still is a very loving cuddly child. When she went to preschool she just ran in on the first day and never looked back, she was very at ease and excited. I do remember it be very upsetting and draining at the time so do reach out for support if your family offer, it will be great for her although you may not think so at the time! When you leave her say a quick goodbye be very positive and smiley and go - don't return unless the caregiver says its vital you do, choose someone who is upbeat , confident and good at distraction, a few familiar toys is a good idea, I gave my daughter a special blanky she took that everywhere I wasn't.Goodluck!

Just in case: I see some mom's who really kind of hold onto their child while the grandparent is around. It makes the child feel there is something to fear. That doesn't sound like your case. Ask a family member if they think they see you doing anything that could do that.

Next, try asking your family to help him connect good things with their coming for a bit. I brought a book, one for each visit, to him. He began to get excited about that and look to me like his present. His parents would talk it up and remind him where he got it from when they read it to him. Now, I only do it off and on. A little toy, bubble blower, etc. Course, I also babysat for him at night, put him down, read him stories, sang songs, told him how beautiful he was.

When I go there, I visit with the parents first, they try to get him to do his latest things, I applaud, I don't try to reach out or get him to come to me, I ask him if he wants to take a wagon ride (his favorite thing) and he can bring his favorite stuffed toy, I sing to him while we walk and show him flowers and cars, he's at ease. ... But, your family may have tried these things already. Perhaps your pediatrician knows some other tricks or just that old "he'll grow out of it."

Hi Juanita,
My 2 year old is the same, but she likes to play with kids when we got to the park, she runs after them. Does your baby likes kids?
I know how you feel, we start to get a little worry and don't want her to be scare, on the other side we feel happy she wouldn't go with strangers.
It kills me when she don't get my mother even get close, she came her for a whole week and it was until the last day she allow her to touch her finger!
We are looking in to a nice, friendly school like Montessori. I think that should help, but other then that we ask all other family members to don't feel offender and to please don't get too close too fast.
My MIL, have been that way, she sits near by and barely talks to her, and now my daughter is the one that gets close to her. Now they actually start talking to each other and smiling but my MIL still keep her distance and try to no force the situation.
EDIT: Go to parks where you can met other moms and see how your baby does with other kids, also you can go to the bookstore/library. Barnes&Noble is great, you can met other moms, read a book to your child, and she will see other grown ups and kids.

I went through this with my son. He is doing better now, but man it was hard early on. I wasn't able to go anywhere, not even the church that I had been going to since he was little. Anyway I just stopped taking him places. I still took him to the store with me, but when strangers came around I just told them he's shy please don't talk to him it's scares him. He was put into daycare when he was like almost 2 & he has gotten alot better. You just have to wait it out. If there is someone that you want to watch your child then have that person come hang out at your house for a little while till your child feels comfortable & then they will be able to watch your daughter with little problems. ANd on the other family members, my son was very used to going to mamaws house, but got afraid of going over there too, it got better too. Just takes time.

I don't really have any advice but know you're in the same boat as others, I too have a 12 month old and he's pretty much been like that since 6 months. We were at my mom & dad's last week and I couldn't leave the room. I had to let him scream while I took a shower, my mom says I was the same way so I guess it's my "payback" lol. If I figure something out I'll let you know :)

being a single parent is not a reason for your little baby to get scared being around with pther people maybbe there is much deeper reason why your little girl panicks whenever anyone will carry her..maybe there was an incident wherein she got scared...sometimes babies like her age have familiarities with people she is around with..
at first you have to let het get familiar with the people she is with, don't rush her into liking everybody, give her time to get familiar and be friend with them and as well as to trusting them...
don't let any one or any body just pick her up when you see that she is scared or tries to run,as i have said don't rush her...let her enjoy seeing everyone talking, chatting and playing with her without the need of carrying or touching her..let her do the first move to initiate that she would like to be carried...just take time she's only a little baby who is learning to adapt with the people and places she is in...just let her enjoy and have fun then you will see the result...

My 17 month old is the same way!!! He only likes his dad. Recently he will let my cousin's teenage daughters hold him, but not for long. He screams when my mother in law and my grandmother looks, talks or touches him and cries and clings to me like crazy! He is starting to come out of his shell when people are at our house by running around playing and ignores or stares at people (a relief!) and runs around other places now! the shell is coming off. But if he isn't held by me, his daddy or the girls (ok, he likes his sibs too) then he freaks out...
I think I will try to show him pictures of family members, I heard a long time ago to do that, to get him familuar with them... just need to get some pictures...
My 4 year old was like that, but then one day when we were not watching, grew out of it! My older 2 never went through that, except when the oldest went to pre-k, he kinda freaked out when I left him for the first month.
Have fun, being the favorite is wonderful, but also crazy!

Try sitting on the couch with someone else holding her and reading to her or some other fun toy or food, then move across the room, then the house, but always say mom will be right back. Then leave for 15 minutes and come back, Moms always come back. Some disagree and say it's better to sneak out, but it never worked for me.

Make up something you do only with her every time you leave and come back -- even the room. If you come back while she's asleep, then finish the routine when she wakes up.

My four year still will not let me leave without saying a prayer and giving him a hug, so many times we are sitting in the driveway doing this. But it's better for everyone at home, because if we don't go through this routine he cries and is basically a brat until I get home. When I get home he says incredulously, "You're home!" "Of course I am," I always answer. It's our thing.

Find a routine, you may even have one.
Good luck.

Does she go to daycare? You might just need to leave her with a loving and trusted family member for an hour or so and let her get used to being away from you. She will get better about this and you are doing the right thing by taking her placing and letting her be around people. Just keep plugging along momma. Good Luck.

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