M.S.
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Milwaukee
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My 9-yr-old daughter loves to play mini golf with her dad.
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Hi all, my husband has a 9 year old daughter through a previous relationship. She is the only child of her mothers and was the only child of my husbands until we had our daughter almost 2 years ago. Things were going fine (and still pretty much are) but lately I have been noticing that my step daughter is displaying some sibling rivalry and attention seeking behaviors. I know this is pretty normal, and nothing really major has happened yet, but I want to nip this in the bud before it gets out of hand.
After thinking about it and talking to my husband about it, we came to the agreement that my step daughter probably needs more one on one time alone with her dad (my husband). We both think that she feels left out since she doesn't live with us full time, and usually it is all four of us together, or my husband and the girls do things together and the 2 year old usually gets most of his attention (due to her age)
Here is where the problem comes in. My husband's idea of "alone" time with his 9 yr old daughter is either A. watching t.v. or B. taking her to his parents house (thus they are really not getting quality alone time)
I think that he is having a hard time coming up with something that they will both like to do. I know when we are at home and my step daughter wants to do things like her nails, hair, baking, etc, he always tells her that is more of a girly thing that she should do with me.
Soooo - anyone have any good father/daughter activities that will keep BOTH of their interest?
My 9-yr-old daughter loves to play mini golf with her dad.
Hiking is a great bonding experience... there are great trails all over Wisconsin.
* They can take a bird/tree/flower book(s) along to identify the various things they encounter along their hick. If you don't have such a book have your hubby take his daughter to the ibrary to check out a book to take along OR buy one and she can check off the pictures of everything they see!
* They can also take a picnic lunch along, or snack depending on when they go, so they can sit down and talk about his daughter's friends, school or whatever else is going on in her life.
Maybe go to a sports event (football, hockey, indoor soccer, basketball). If the money is there this is a way for dad to share something he loves with his daughter... I would ask the daughter which sport she would like to go see, that way she will at least feel like she choose to go instead of dad pulling her along to go.
Have them make a tradition that once a month or every other week (depending on how often she comes over) that on a Saturday morning or afternoon/evening it is just daddy and your step daughters time. They can go to a book store, park, sports event, out to eat for breakfast/lunch/dinner, hiking, movie. This is time that no one else tags along, that way his daughter gets that chat/alone time with her dad.
Hope those 2 can find something to bond over... something that gets them out of the house.
I think the most important thing for Dad to realize in this case is that time with his daughter is not really about him. That may sound crappy but if he's trying to bond with her, he needs to conform to the things that she likes to do.
Would it be so horrible if he painted her nails or played with her hair? Yes, these are "girly" things to do but hello, she's a girl! There are also movies, walks, and riding bikes...these things are not too girly. He could try to find a sport that she is interested in. Then during the winter, Wauskesha and the surrounding areas has loads of hills for sledding.
I believe the key is for him to ask her what she wants to do and go with that. They are likely going to be days where it's all about girl stuff. Baking is not just for girls either and can be a great indoor activity during rainy/colder days. They may want to discover a new recipe and make dinner together.
Father/daughter activities can be endless. This is probably the best time for them to start really bonding. Encourage both of them to use their imaginations and have fun together!
How about going to a pumpkin farm, or apple picking? This is a great time of year for stuff like that. There are lots of places out there, you can find them listed on milwaukeemoms. com if you live in the Milwaukee area.
Also hiking at a park, or the zoo is great fun.
