Family Secrets

I had a great aunt that died by electrocution in the bathtub. It was determined to be an accident but the family have always wondered if there was more to it. Some think that her husband had something to do with it but it couldn't be proven. This was many many years ago. The family didn't put a front up about it, they just didn't talk about it.

But yes, there are families who do put up a front because they want or need to maintain a certain image. If the story doesn't add up then it's probably not true.

Sounds like my family. My great uncle got arrested for solicitation of a prostitute a few years ago. A male prostitute. The thing that gets me is that he's deaf as a stone from an injury in WWII- so he would have been bellowing like he does. I can hear it now- "YOU WANT HOW MUCH? SPEAK UP, SONNY!"

I maintain that if it makes the front page of the paper, it's not a secret, but my family seems to think it is. I can't help but think it's funny- he's widowed and in his 90s, and I have no issue with his indiscretion. But my family is horrified.

Do you think someone shot him? When I hear shooting I think rifles or shotguns. Not something you could purposely shoot yourself in the stomach with.

I guess I am just trying to figure out what part of the story you don't believe.

My family has no shame, so pretty much what is said is the truth, warts and all. My ex's family was quite different. An example was one cousin had a baby with a black man!! Yeah I know no big deal you just have to know them. So the cousin is one quarter Greek so they would say the baby was olive skinned. I could never suppress the laugh when they would tell people that.

Oh Lord! My in-laws are like that! They actually start to believe the "versions" they tell.

My family? More about generation grudges (previous generations) about things so dumb it's almost unbelievable!
My mom has a cousin who's sister didn't speak to him for TEN YEARS because he pointed out (during a family dinner) that she had food on her lip. Ridiculous!

I'm very sorry for your cousin and the pain he is going through in his recovery, as well as the pain your family is going through.

I am assuming, the way you have written this, that either he was trying to commit suicide, or he is protecting someone else by saying that he tripped. Regardless, someone needs to help him, and I hope that your family can get him some counseling, even if the truth doesn't come out.

Dawn

OMG.. My inlaws.. Sooo many family secrets..

I am afraid to even write the main one that we are forbidden to tell in case someone figures out who I am.. It is one of the reasons I no longer speak with my MIL.. I hate that this is just hanging there. It is kept a secret, because otherwise, someone would not be living the life they are living. They could lose everything. (A whole story n its own)

But another one they all have is that My FIL and his brother found out that the brother was adopted!!! After their mother died.. No one had a clue. No one knows anything..

That would drive me crazy.

We never kept secrets from each other in my families. We know everyone's business.

No, you are not the only family at all. I have a large extended family and what's "funny" about it is that secrets are not exactly *secrets*, meaning we all know about them, just nobody talks about them. My mother's mother kept her mentally sick brother living in her basement for years (with my mother and her 3 brothers living upstairs from him and never see the poor man) - that was in the 40'/50'- pretty spooky. One of my mother's brothers jumped from a window and killed himself - my mom told me for years he died of fever (he died long before I was born) and I found out when a cousin told me. My uncle on my father's side married a single mom and we have never been told that cousins is NOT cousin from blood -not that it matters but it has never been mentioned and nobody would even dare to bring the subject up. That's it for us...*I think*, but i guess you can never be too sure, ah!

I think most if us have messed up families...we just don't normally talk about it.

My dad sexually molested my half brother (older than me...mom had him before marrying my father). Seriously...a grown man...doing that to an 11 year old boy?? Yeah, needless to say my parents got divorced after that was discovered.

I don't know how a gun could go off and accidentally shoot him in the stomach. Sorry - if a person is out shooting - hunting - their gun is IN FRONT of them - FACING THE OTHER WAY...if they fall or trip? What are the odds that it would go off FACING him? very small in my book.

Have they been having problems?
Do you think he's covering for someone? Or is he NOT conscious?

I know many families that put on fronts. Mine is not one of them. I just posted about my "sister's" husband hanging himself. It sucks.

It's much easier to tell the truth. Then there aren't any 'hush-hush" conversations...

I think most families have problems that they prefer not to talk about and put up a large facade. We all cope in different ways and if your family doesn't want to discuss it , that's their perogitive. However, if this truly wasn't an accident, but a suicide attempt, your cousin needs help and counseling, and beyond that, his family should join in group counseling too. Perhaps you could gently encourage him to get the help he needs.

My cousin committed suicide by sitting in his running car in the garage. But because he had apparently recently taken No-Doz, my aunt clings to the possibility that it was an accident caused by lack of sleep. Can't say I blame her, and I'm pretty sure I'd go through the same, wondering if maybe the coroner got it wrong. Plus, there's a huge stigma about suicide and suicide attempts. It's one of those things that I, too, wish could be brought out into the light of day.

Whatever ends up being the case with your cousin, I hope he never has an accident again.