Family Bed Transition Question

Updated on April 22, 2010
A.W. asks from Orlando, FL
9 answers

This question is for all you Moms who have had children who co-slept with you and then transitioned to a full night's sleep in their own bed. My daughter currently goes to sleep in her own bed but wakes up about three hours later and comes into our bed to sleep the rest of the night. She is likely to continue to wake up once during the night, so I am not looking for how to keep her asleep all night. My question is what steps have you taken to get your co-sleeping children ready to go back to sleep by themselves in their own bed after waking up in the middle of the night. Thanks for your thoughts!

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T.F.

answers from Miami on

Hi. I don't know if this will help you or not, but here's what I wrote about my co-sleeping situation and how I got my daughter to sleep in her own bed: http://hubpages.com/hub/sleep-training-good-night-sleep-t...

I used the same technique with both my daughters (now 3 and 4) and they are the best sleepers! Good luck!

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A.H.

answers from Tampa on

What a great job co-sleeping and giving your child the comfort and security most children don't get theses days. Kudos to you!
I have a 4 1/2 year old and she co-slept with us most of her life. I transitioned her by first having her bed in our room(it was a crib/ bed) and would let her fall asleep with us then put her in her bed. No matter how many times she woke up as soon as she fell back asleep I would place her back in her bed. soon I started putting her to bed in her bed and sometimes would let her watch a calming dvd set up by the bedside before she fell asleep. When she felt comfortable and would sleep through the night in her bed I moved it into her room and very little reinforcement was needed to transition her.

The key is baby steps and never making a big deal about sleeping with you on occasion. Also it may drive you crazy but you have to keep placing them in their bed every chance you get and doing it when their sleeping keeps it from being a bad experience. If it becomes a fight, struggle, or scary experience you can undo all the good you did co-sleeping.

good luck,
A.......Leximarket.com

1 mom found this helpful
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M.H.

answers from Chattanooga on

My child never slept with me... but I have been told that when they come into your room to calmly walk them back to their bed and tell them that this is were you sleep and put them back to bed... you may have to reassure them that you are not going anywhere but that this is were you sleep.

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C.S.

answers from Victoria on

I have not done the co-sleep thing, but i taught my kids when going from crib to bed that they could get up to go potty, if they are sick, or if they see sunlight coming through the windows. Otherwise they are to stay in their rooms & be quiet as to wake nobody else. I taught them that they can if sick, call out to me or come & get me & not to worry about waking anyone up, but they better be sick! I've had to remind them a few times, but they got it. When they came to my room at 1:00am, I would ask , are you sick? Do you see sunlight? Ok, let's go back to bed & i'll see you in the morning & I would walk them back to their room. so, maybe that could help you. Best of luck.

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L.W.

answers from Orlando on

Hi A.,

We were not co-sleepers from the get-go but we moved recently and let them sleep in our bed for a few weeks until it just became so uncomfortable we decided that was enough. We gave them fair warning that in a week that was it, we got them big kid beds (2 and 4, they had been sleeping in the cribs till then with the rails lowered). Night one, we told them what to expect, when they came into our room, my husband brought them back to their beds, stayed for a few minutes and then left. We did that consistently for two nights, a little bit of crying and then that was it. We gave them huge kudos the next morning, even when we had to bring them back and they loved that. Also, gave them treats and stickers when they succeeded. It only took us three nights with a few blips along the way but has been a few weeks with a lot of success.

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K.M.

answers from Orlando on

Just take her back to bed. Eventually she will quit trying to come to your room. Right now, it works so she keeps doing it. You may have a few sleepless nights, but you will be better off in the long run. Here is a great example: I work nights, if I am at work, my son (7) ends up in bed with my husband, because he allows it. When I am home my son doesn't even try, he knows I am not having any of that, so he doesn't even bother.
They know exactly what they can get away with, regardless of what we think they can get away with.
K.

P.M.

answers from Tampa on

I have an almost 5 y/o - and we still sleep in the same bed. Neither of us sleep that great when we are in separate beds anymore. My philosophy is: as with breastfeeding, the child should lead the way. Children will definitely start showing signs of desired privacy and independence around 6 years old - and that is when I feel giving them their own room and bed is more appropriate.

We must not fail to realize these are our CHILDREN, these are not miniature adults. Children are FORCED to do so many things that older children should be doing... and our society wonders why kids are turning to violence, sex, drugs/alcohol, etc at such young ages - - because our society condones pushing them too far too early and they snap.

^ This is actually not directly pointed at you, but a general 'you' in our American society.

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D.W.

answers from Jacksonville on

My daughter would NEVER sleep anywhere but in her crib. Once she moved into her toddler bed, she wakes up most nights and comes to bed with us. She's 22 months and we're working on perfecting out night time potty routine, so the past few nights we've been using these little wake ups as time to take her potty. We just take her back into her bed after going potty. Sometimes she stays and falls right back asleep and other times she doesn't. I do believe after a few more days the visits back to our room will be less.

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A.W.

answers from Miami on

We co-sleept with our son and he is transitioned into his own bed... it took a little time of being persistant and patient. I had him help me make his room and especially his bed special by being part of the picking out of the bed linens and everything. I remember having conversations with him during the day about our bed time and sleep routine. We kept on fine tuning it until we found what worked best for us. He just transitioned to a big bed and sleeping without a diaper... yes, that is a big deal. So we refined the routine even a little more and he is earning a sticker for each morning he wakes up dry in his own bed. He was just never one to get out of his own bed much... however, he does call for me when he has bad dreams.

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