Facebook Question - Gilbert,AZ

Your ex should not be able to see your stuff unless you post it to your kids facebook. Unless you are friends with your kids and your ex, he cannot see your stuff. He cannot go to her facebook, through his facebook and see your facebook, unless you post something on your kids facebook, which gives permission to your kids to see what you have posted, then he will be able to see it because you all share that commonground. He also cannot see your facebook, unless you give him permission to. He can however, view your facebook if he goes on as one of your children, because they have permission to view your facebook. So if they are at his house and your kids are on, he can take a peek as one of the children. It does bite you in the butt so be careful. Hopefully I did not confuse you.

Having never been through a divorce, I'm not exactly sure what you're concerned about?
Even though I have "friends only" privacy settings on my FB I realize ANYTHING I post online could be picked up by anyone, anywhere, if they REALLY wanted to find it.
I guess what I'm saying is, when it comes to social networking, only share what you want the whole wide world to see, and that includes your ex :)

Change your privacy setting to 'friends only'. If your ex is not on your friends list, nothing will show up on your page for them.
Also, you have the 'custom' option as in whenever you post something , you can select who can view that post and at that time hide it from your ex. You can ask your kids to use the custom option( if they agree to) , so that they can still post pics on their page but customize in a way that your ex cant see it even though he is in their friends list.

If you "block" your ex, no matter what you post or where, he can NOT see it and you will not his stuf ever either. Not tagged pictures, comments, etc. I have a few ex friends blocked and it made my facebook life much more peaceful not having to see their vitriol constantly. Being blocked means he won't even be able to find you on facebook, unless he created an account in a different name. HTH!

change all your settings to friends only .. if they are set to friends of friends then he will be able to see all of your stuff.. if you set it to friends only and hes not your friend he cant see anything... except for what your kids post

I think you need to go one step further. On your kids' pages, you need to adjust their settings so that it doesn't show your info in the top right portion that shows activity of friends.

Because if they 'like' or comment about something on your page, he potentially could see it in that activity scroll. For instance, if you watch that scroll you will see all of YOUR friends' activity. If it says your friend Sarah 'liked' Mary's photo and you hover over that, Mary's photo (whom you do not know personally) will pop up and you can read all of the comments.

I believe you have to be logged in on your kids' pages, find a status or something you've written and hover over YOUR name. It will pop up with a tab that says "Friends." Click on that and then go to settings. I believe you want to click on the part that says "comments and likes."

Please correct me if I am wrong!!! :)

MzKitty:

There are several things you can do. Question is, what do you WANT to do?

1. If you are not friends with him - he will NOT see YOUR posts. He will see what YOU post to the kids walls...and can respond as you have "mutual" friends.

2. You can set your privacy settings to friends only.

3. You can block him entirely - but this means you cannot see or read ANYTHING he writes ANYWHERE on FB unless you are logged on as one of your kids...do you really want that to happen?

I would choose option #2. So that you can see what he writes on the kids' wall(s) but he cannot WRITE on your wall.

What ever your kids put on their pages can be seen by anyone they friend. Their friends cannot see anything on your pages unless they are friends with you personally if you set your own privacy setting to friends only.

Many people set their settings to friends of friends thinking that if my friends know them they're okay to see my stuff. This is how I can see stuff on my granddaughter's dad's wife's page...I know, complicated. My granddaughter has a half sister she does not "know". The dad has not seen her since she was a tiny child. So she only gets to see what her little sister looks like by looking at this woman's page. If she sets her settings to friends only we would not be able to see her pictures or her posts, nothing at all.

So, if YOU set your own privacy setting on each album, each choice of settings then there is no way anyone can see your information without you being friends with them.

As for the kids, they need to understand they can't share anything you post. If you post a picture of them and they see it and want to share it there is a link on the bottom for them to share it.

I do wonder though. Why wouldn't you want them to share pictures and other things on their page. You are talking about pictures of them right?

The privacy settings on FB are insanely confusing. I think you need to make sure everything says just friends and NOT friends of friends. What I always do though is get someone I'm not friends w or a friend of a friend to check my page out to see how it appears to them and how they can access. It seems like some pages are super secure, so there is a way.

Best thing to do is probably just block him completely.

Or at least make sure you check "friends only" on the privacy settings about who can see you, photos, your stuff, search for you, etc.

1. For what you post on your timeline (status, pics): Upper right corner triangle menu > Privacy Settings > Default = Friends or Custom (an even smaller list).

2. For anything you do with your kids' posts (comments): If you comment on something your Ex can see, he will be able to see your comments, unless you block him completely as others have pointed out (and that doesn't always completely work in this context). But note that if you block him, you can't see what he says on your kids' posts either - and you might want to.

3. For your kids' comments/likes on your stuff: As long as your privacy settings do not permit your Ex to see your stuff, then he cannot see any likes/comments on it, even by your kids. (When you see this stuff in your timeline/ticker, it's because the original poster hasn't locked down their settings.) More generally, if your kids don't need to see something, create friends lists (https://www.facebook.com/bookmarks/lists) that exclude them and post accordingly (little lock to the right of status bars).

4. For your kids' resharing of your stuff: This is in your kids' control. Have a conversation with them about what you're comfortable with them sharing, and, more generally, how the privacy settings work and how they have them set. Make sure they're not set to "public" (which is the default), and, more generally, make sure they know that just because they are friends with everyone at their school doesn't mean that everyone has to see everything they say (with the caveat as noted below that this isn't foolproof).