so I hav a facebook account and I got contacted by a guy I dated 8 yrs ago and had no contact with him since. is he fishing to see if he has a chance of getting me back or just being friendly? any opinions. I think hes fishing to see if he can get me back. anyone agree with me? more info we broke up on good terms he had to go and take care of his kids in a diffrent state. his dad told him after we split up he should have married me. I am also friends with some of my exes on facebook one is married one is single but I was wondering if his dad got to him. He is along way away from me he got remarried at one point I dont know if she is still married to him but she isnt in any of hte facebook pictures with him in it. I have no interest in getting back together so I am making sure I am on safe ground here. his kids are now over 18 and he has done his job of raising them and he likes to move alot. maybe I am being paranoid since I dont want my other half to get suspicious of nothing. this is the one man that would make my other feel threatened.
discussed it with my other half. he didnt think he was fishing. he said he would be ok with me talking to him. so I sent him a message and told him I was with ray and did the catch up thing. If he was fishing the knowing there was someone else made him lose interest haven't heard from him since. :)
Friend him, maybe he want's to keep in touch. If he wants more and it makes you uncomfortable, unfriend and block him. Simple.
I wouldn't assume that he is looking for a hookup. I have made contact with people I haven't seen in decades via Facebook.
Friend him if you want to find out what he's been up to, and if he crosses a line he shouldn't, un-friend him.
First, ask the one you love if it would be a problem. THAT is the only answer that matters. If your One would be threatened by having THIS particular ex as a friend, then you should not "friend" the ex. You already have some of your exes as friends, so the One you are with is not an unreasonable or jealous person.
My husband's ex-wife contacted him after 30 years of no contact (no kids in their relationship). She only wanted to be friends. They have had lunch and "caught up" and I even have her as one of my facebook friends. Because of my husband's love for me and my being secure in that knowledge, she is no where near a threat. She is actually quite nice.
You're being paranoid because you feel guilty. If you're currently in a long term relationship, there is no reason to have any contact with this man. If you think he's "fishing", or you think he's being friendly, it doesn't matter. Either way, tell him straight out, "It's been nice to hear from you after all these years.... I'm currently in a relationship and have xxx children, etc.... Good luck to you, wishing you all the best." End of conversation, end of friendship.
sorry, think he's being friendly. Lots of people look up lots of people on facebook.
I don't know - you didn't provide much information. I am friends on FB with my old boyfriend from high school. We are both married and live in opposite parts of the country so there is no way for anything to happen between us (not that we want it to). I've have found other former BFs and sent friend requests with just the pure intentions of wanting to be friends and keep in touch. Your options are to ignore him (I've done that many times with people that want to friend me on FB but I'm just not interested) or send him a message without accepting the friend request and see if you can figure out his intentions from there.
I'm friends on facebook with an old bf, he doesnt flirt or anything. But I dont know your ex, so I cant speak for him.
If he would make your guy feel threatened, that would probably be enough reason to ignore your ex's friend request. Your being friends with him on FB has the potential of turning out into an awful, convoluted mess. Plus, you really don't know where this guy has been for the past 8 years or what his intentions are. If he just wants to be your FB friend and nothing more, would it really be worth it to risk your current relationship with a guy that may be re-entering your life with some unwanted baggage that you don't need?
I think he's probably being friendly, but the fact that you think he's "fishing" leads me to think confirming his friend request might open the door for problems in the future. I don't know if you're married or not, but you may just want to leave this one alone. I also think it matters how serious your relationship was with the guy. Did you date for several months or go out casually a couple of times or was this a really long, love relationship? I have FB "friends" who are guys I dated, but they were never anything really serious. There are a couple of guys -especially one -who I would never confirm a friend request from because the relationships were very serious and the whole thing would just be weird -AND I don't think my husband would appreciate it! There are a couple of women who I certainly wouldn't want him being "friends" with!
I'd ignore his friend request! I wouldn't chance it.
I think the statistics regarding 'friending' ex's on FB speak for themselves. There is some absurd amount of divorces/breakups occurring because of innocent contacts made and then leading to something more. If your SO would be uncomfortable with you being in contact with this person, my suggestion would be just to ignore him. At this point I would think your current relationship would be more important than the what ifs regarding your ex?
If it were me I'd just ask my SO and see what he thinks. Maybe he wouldn't have a problem with, and then your worries would be for nothing, and if he does I'd say I'd respect his concern and take satisfaction in knowing that your ex still thinks about you...j/k :0)
On a side note one of my husband's ex's tried contacting him out of the blue some 5 yrs later for no apparent reason. I told him I really didn't have a problem with him being friends with her. I just didn't want my personal life regarding kids, myself, activities etc discussed with her (which doesn't leave him very much to talk with her about since we are his life right now) I was totally shocked with his response. He didn't think it was appropriate to be friends with her at all, and he didn't have the 'time' or 'energy' to maintain that friendship innocent or not. I was shocked and secretly very excited about his decision, and was glad I married a man with such integrity. I think your concern with this type of issue is telling you you know the right answer to this question...
All the best in your decision in whatever it may be :)
delete him, you would want your other half to do the same thing!
Well.... your last sentence of your post was..... "This is the one man that would make my other feel threatened." I wouldn't do it then based on that statement. What's more important to you... having an ex be your FB friend or having your current guy be upset about it?
If you are married don't look for trouble.
If not, and you think it worth while go for it.
If you find out he is married, don't look for trouble.
Good Luck God Bless
I think you have to ask yourself why your first instinct was he was fishing for information.
When an ex has contacted me via internet in the past I always want to know what they have been doing since we broke up how have things changed for them and where they are going now, but it never crosses my mind that they want me back, when it's done it's done. So I think maybe I am a little confused by your question.
Ignore him,I also agreed that he is fishing.My ex was doing the same thing and when I did contacted him.Boy! was it a bad idea.Just greet and just plainly ignore a couple time when he send back the message.If it kept on going without your reply than he is fishing.Most people gets it that you might be busy and then just ignore you but if desperation set in than it will persist.But be careful cuz you don't want to upset the most important person to you like your hubby.
Hello D.,
As long as you are as far away from each other as possible is all that matters. You're in control. It's curiosity more than anything isn't it? Btw, what does his FB Info say? Is it left out? Anyway, ask him how he's doing, and so on. Tell him how happy you are, and so on. Have fun with it. No
harm is done.
I have contact with a lot of old friends and have never once thought they were "fishing".
What makes you feel that way? Something said or interpreted? Some hopefulness that he is fishing? If you feel guilty or feel that your hubby or SO would be threatened then by all means, click ignore.
Not all people who were close a long time ago are looking for hookups. Many are looking to see how their friends are doing and truly care about them.
