Extremely Imaginative 4 Year Old

R.,

I don't know if your sons imaginative behavior is normal... but, I have a story to share...

My daughter was about 2-3 when it started (she's now 10) - she would play for HOURS with her imaginary friend she called Mimi's Papa. My mom was called mimi by all her grandkids - so my translation was my mother's father. She described mimi's papa to us and he sounded a lot like my mom's dad - physically and in some manneurisms (my grandfather would say 'oh' alot in response to a statement...

anyway, she concocted these wild stories of things her and mimi's papa would do wit hher... they played with wolves in a cave, and he bought her a motorcycle, and she would tell everybody about him, as if he was real. to her, he was real.

it did go away - and she is a child who very much enjoys her own company... she can stay on task with whatever she is enjoying for hours.

You may want to consult a child psychologist to see if his behavior is not normal or out of the range of mental development... sometimes ped's too easily dismiss things in my opinion... and considering they see so many patients (how long do your appointments last? my last appt with my 2 mo. old was about all of 7 minutes of her time)i'm not sure they have enough info to make an educated call on these things.

Good luck to you.

He might just grow out of it, but for your piece of mind I would get him tested.
Also, mahybe try a new pediatrician if she is not taking your concerns seriously.

Hi R.
first of all, I would change your peditrician.She should know,that sugar has absolute no effect on our body like we used to think,she sounds very ignorant.
Your story sound like my son's story.He turned out to have Asperger's it's a form of Autism.That doesn't mean your son has to have it.We struggeld for years,but he is 14 now and is doing great.Have him checked out,maybe he is just not ready for soccer and all the other stuff.Good luck MC

Maybe he's going to be a great leader. I was a very imaginative girl and played for hours by myself. I did like playing with other kids, but sometimes I just wasn't interested in their games nor they in mine. So, if I didn't like what they were doing, I wouldn't fight or make a fuss, I'd just kind of do my own thing alongside. I made up characters (I didn't have what people call imaginary friends--I knew they weren't real) I didn't have any siblings until I was 7, so I had to play alone. I never followed the crowd. Sometimes at recess, I would sit in a patch of clover and look for 4-leafed ones. I found lots actually--some 5 and 6 leafed ones as well! Looking back, I guess it sounds weird, but I was happy and had and have a perfectly fulfilling social life. My mind was always working, and being alone with my thoughts and imagination was often what I wanted to do most. I also read a lot. Around 4th grade, my teachers started telling my parents I had great leadership skills. I graduated summa cum laude from college and I became a teacher and later left that to teach other women about building businesses. So, maybe your son is incredibly bright... Good luck with it all!

However, I agree that you should switch pediatricians. (But sugar can have an affect on children's behavior. Some "clinical studies" that "proved" it doesn't were funded in part by companies like Hershey's. )
Best wishes! A.

At age 4 it is normal for children to "parallel" play. Meaning they play next to or near other children and really don't interact or play with the other kids. The important thing you are doing is the socialization activities to acquaint him with other kids and social situations. But, it is not at all abnormal for kids to play on their own at this age. Also, their attention span is very short, therefore the group activities are bound to become boring and the child will withdraw into his more comfortable imaginative world. The best part of the sport-oriented activities of this age group, in my opinion, is watching the younger ones...in baseball/t-ball you often see children playing in the dirt or throwing their glove up in the air instead of paying attention to the game. My daughter at age 4, last year, during soccer used to talk instead of watching, or dance/sing when there was no action in her area. I wouldn't worry about his wanting to play alone, getting bored, or using his imagination at this point. Once he begins school and has a couple more years on him, you will be able to see if his behavior changes and he becomes more social...if not, he could have a social disorder...but at this age, his behavior is totally normal. Also, the sugar has nothing to do with it, definitely consult a different doctor if it continues to concern you. Keep doing what you are doing, he sounds happy and well-adjusted, just has a different disposition from your other kids!