A.R.
My husband and I adopted our son at birth. He is now 3 years old, and is the joy of our lives. We explored our options, and after 3 failed attempts at IUI (intra-uteran insemination), the fertility specialist recommended IVF. We took a break, then a few months later opened the discussion; what to do? IVF, adoption, or just being Auntie and Uncle to all of our friends kids? My husband said he never imagined not being a father...my heart melted, and I said okay, so what's next? We decided against IVF, because of the emotional, physical and financial strain we knew it could invoke. We chose to adopt. I can honestly tell you that, within 20 minutes of holding our son and gazing at him, I felt that he may as well have come from my own womb. It was an amazing experience. However, I can also tell you that, although we were sent the perfect child, the little soul that was meant for us, we could write a book about what NOT to do...it seems that we made every wrong choice as far as the adoption process goes. Long story, but here's the gist: We spent far too much $$ by working with a facilitator, having our homestudy done by an adoption agency, hiring the attorney we were told we had to work with because she was our birthmother's representation...in the end, we found out that we could have worked with the state agency (who would have done the homestudy themselves) and hired an attorney of our choice (who would have charged hourly rates instead of a high, advance-paid fee)...we would have saved thousands (really, THOUSANDS) of dollars if we had known what not to do. Thankfully, it ended well...with the boy of our dreams as our son forever and ever. For that, we are MOST grateful.