Explaining Surgery to a 3 Yr Old?

I think you explained things well. Good mommying! I missed your original request but would still like to give you some important information and a resource.

My suggestion to you is that you visit NAET.com, order and read the book "Say Good-Bye to Children's Allergies." If you later run into a situation where you believe naet can help, you can find an naet certified doctor through the website. Or, you can go to my doctor. I go to Dr. David Karaba in Fullerton and absolutely love him. My 11 month old grand daughter and 10 year old grand daughter also go to him. His phone number is ###-###-####.

One of the wonderful things about NAET is that for children or the infirm, they can be treated through a surrogate, i.e., you. Here is the description paragraph from the book information.

"Say Good-bye to Children’s Allergies
By - Devi S. Nambudripad, M.D., D.C., L.Ac., R.N., Ph.D.

In Say Good-bye to Children’s Allergies, Dr. Devi S. Nambudripad, the developer of NAET®, will help you understand your child’s illness and will assist you in finding the right help to achieve better health for your child. This book will show you how certain commonly used products in your foods and environment can cause health problems in your child; how you can test your child in your privacy of your own home using the Nambudripad’s Testing Techniques described in the book. This book will educate you how your child’s health problems can relate to allergy, a traditionally under-diagnosed or misdiagnosed condition; and, how allergies can manifest into myriad symptoms that might seem unrelated. The author also provides remedies for mild conditions of common childhood ailments arising from allergies and how to find help in assisting your child find the right help for serious problems such as, asthma, hay-fever, common colds, sinus problems, milk allergy, peanut allergy, sugar allergy, hives, gastritis, vomiting, colic for newborns, ear infections, irritable bowel syndrome, colitis, bronchitis, drug reactions, and many other conditions. Dr. Nambudripad explains how allergies are often the underlying causes to pediatric problems and how NAET® testing procedures and NAET® treatments can offer relief from these allergies. The book is supported by NAET® practitioners’ testimonials and patients’ success stories."

Hi S., we are the same way we tell our children what to exspect to a certain degree.with our daughter we talked to the peditricion about what his procedure will be. what we requested was for her to drink the fluid that is called versed and it helps them to relax but it also made my daughter drowsy,then they put the mask on then they put the i.v. in we did not want her to have a bad experiance about the iv and all that intails with it. so you might want to talk to your doctor about maybe setting this up my daughter had such a good out come from doing it that way.and we were with her when they gave her the versed which made me feel comfortable about them following my concerns about the iv. then just exsplain that they are going to give her something to drink that is sweet and she will get sleepy and that is all we said ,because we did not want her to get all worked up about the iv.because children do not like needles. mom everything will be fine.good luck.

Hi S.,
I am sure you are scared to death! However, you are correct it is minor and everything will go fine. My older daughter had several sinus surgeries and they freaked me out too. I was single at that time too, which makes it a little difficult, but it will all be fine. Her first surgery was when she was in 4th grade, so quite an age difference.

However, I would not go that far into detail with a 3/y/o. I would let her know that the doctor is going to fix her soar throat while she is sleeping and you will see her when she wakes up. If she has questions, then she is smart enough to know what is going on and answer questions.

Keep in mind, the anesthesia makes everyone react differently. Mine woke up extremely cranky and uncontent. Hold my hand - don't touch me type thing.

Best of luck to you both.

p.s. bring a game that both of you can play while waiting for the prep and anesthesia to kick in.

My 5 year old son had this done in October. I am not sure excatly what to say to prepare her other than telling her specific things like the fact she is going to go to the hospital ( or office) and that she will go to sleep and when she wakes up her throat may hurt a little but you will be there with the whole time and that there will be medicine to help with the pain. Alos point out the posistive that she can eat all the popcicles, jello and ice cream she wants. There may be a book that shares ont this as well maybe you can research online or find a book at a local store. Overall make sure she knows that once this is done and her throat doesn't hurt anymore she is going to feel so much better! My son has autism and refused to take any of the pain meds because of the strong smell and taste. So we had to use tylanol suppositories. But he sleeps so much better(they thought he had sleep apnea from the enlarged tonsils) and doens't get nearly as many colds as he used to. I will be thinking of you and I truly understand the fear..I almost backed out at the hopital but stuck with it and I am so glad I did! Another piece of advice I was given is that the 3rd day is the worst so don't be surprised if the first 2 days are pretty good and then the 3rd is bad....it does get better!!
I think if you keep things up front and simple so that she is not blindsided by whats going on, it should be just fine. Focus on how she is going to feel when its all over and she is healed. It is really worth it!

Do you have a mother? I have never had to go through that personally, but whether your 3 13 or or even 30 your still your mammas baby and they get nervous. What I'm trying to say is ask what your own mother did to help cope when you were sick.

I was four years old when my tonsils (and adnoids) were taken out for cronic ear infections. The only things I remember was the nice Dr who made a balloon for me, the same Dr. playing with my stuffed animal, counting to ten with the mask on my face with the people in funny suits and finally...throwing up jello all over the nurse after the surgery was done. I can't stand jello to this day...

Try not to make a big deal about it and be as brave as you can be. Just let her know what is happening and answer whatever questions she'll have. She's not going to remember the experience very much anyway.

Hi there,

I know what your going through. My daughter had the same symptoms. It went on forever and I had to fight with the doctor to do something about it. Finally, we had the tonsils removed. Its the best thing for her, trust me. Im guessing since its Feb. 12th that the surgery already happened. I hope all went well. Its the right thing to do. If it hasnt happened, you can explain to her that the tonsils in her throat are bad and making her feel bad, and that the doctor needs to take them out. It wont hurt and after she can have lots of ice cream, yogurt, pudding and popsicles. She will hear that and be fine. She is young enough she wont even remember what happened when she is older.

Both of my children have had their tonsils out. My son was 9 & my daughter was just 2.
I was honest with my daughter, I just didn't go into any real details. I told her the dr. was going to give her a little nap and he was going to take out her tonsils. Thank goodness she never asked me how. My son requested to see his!
The whole situation was far worse on me than my daughter. I don't think the actual procedure gave her any trouble at all. It was the recovery at home!!! (thank you codeine)

I was calm and cheerful throughout the whole thing for her & she was as comfortable as can be.

Hi S.! My name is T. and let me tell you! I've been through this stuff personally. I had my tonsils out at 5 and I've had 14 surgeries from the time of 3 months to 14 years old. I'm 23 now, nd still have some trouble, but let me tell you what my grandma did for. She told me straight out what was going to happen. "T., you are very sick. Do you want me to make you feel better?" of course I say yes. "Ok, you have to go to the hospital. The doctors will make you feel better when they take out your tonsils. Nana will be with you the whole time." All you have to do is let your child understand that you love her and will be with her. No matter what you say to her, she will be scared. It's a scary time for both you. It will get better though. If you buy her milkshakes she will like that too...lol. My Nana played the Little Mermaid about 60 times for me, but she was always by my side through every surgery. You know she had to get tired of that movie! I suggest you take time of work, and just spend as much time with her as possible. Be up-front. Don't go into an explaination, a step-by-step of how they are going to cut her. But try to be as honest as possible.
*God, I pray that you take care of this family through their time of turbulence. Hold this little girl in your arms.*

I hope this helps you S.. I woud really like to knowhow this turns out. Love to your family!!!

did you take the tonsils out and did it solve the problem?

Hi,
I know how you feel. My 4 yr old just had a minor surgery Jan. 26th. We just explained that he would go to the Dr.s at the hospital(he went for the chechk-up so knew where it was).We also made sure that the doctor and us both told him there was no shots because he hates them. We told him they had to fix his belly-(hernia).We bought him some special legos that he had to wait 2 weeks to get on the day of his surgery when he got home. Your little girl will be scared and I don't think there is anyway to explain it so she wont be,you'll just have to tell her it will be over soon. It was difficult to get through that day because it was sad to watch them take him for the surgey and the worst part was right after. He hated the iv in his arm so we just tried to distract him from that. He was weird from the anesthesia and cried a lot, but he was ok like 4 hours later. I hope you have a good dr. and that they do the anesthesia by using that mask (he liked that and stills talks about it) so good luck. let me know how it goes or if you have questions.

Be honest. Dont make it gory. Then answer her questions. Tell her many of kids have this problem and thats why we have doctors is to help us stay healthy and live longer than mommy.
Dont forget to say when she wakes up from the sleep medicine you will be right there to praise her for how brave she was for you and the doctor.

Ive had tons of eye corrective surgerys for 2 of my kids when they was babies. Just remember to breathe mom =)

S.,

She is old enough to understand a lot of what is going on. I would just sit her down and talk to her. Say..."you know how your throat has been hurting for a long time?" "well the doctor is going to lay you down for a nap and he will help the hurt go away"...."when you wake up your throat will still hurt a little bit, but to make it feel all better you get to eat yummy stuff....Ice cream, pudding, applesauce...or whatever it is they eat after that kind of surgery" Then make sure you ask her if she has any questions.....you might want to let her ask some of these questions herself to the doctor also, this will make her feel good (instead of you and the doctor discussing it while she is just sitting there) try and let her be a part of the conversation also. I have never had to go through something like this, but it is what I would do in that situation, I hope it helps.

B.

When my son had surgery just after he turned 4, I made fun with it. I told him that he was going to go to sleep at the doctors office... and that a fairy was going to come down and take all that "yucky stuff that makes him hurt" away so he would feel better, but like everything surrounding a fairy, he had to be really asleep. We talked about it for a good 2 weeks to the point that he was excited and told everyone about it..."the fairy is going to make me feel better!". I realize it's not a very adult way to deal with things, but luckily we aren't dealing with adults. I told him the truth... he would go to sleep, he would lose the infection, and he would wake up feeling better... that was the main info he needed. Once he was all done with it, I explained in a little more detail, but of course couldn't lose the fairy!!!

Well, I have had experience in this area, because my son who is 4 has had numerous surgeries. Although he is delayed developmentally he knows what is about to happen. I think the best way to explain to her is maybe go to the library and check out a book about going to the drs. office, explain that she is going to be taking a nap and when she wakes up she will be feeling a little funny but her throat will not hurt her anymore. Take a special stuffed animal and blanket w/her for the recovery and anything else that might help calm her.
Good luck to you, I know this can be scary. Make sure to ask lots of questions, don't be afraid. You are your child's only voice. Let me know how it goes.

Hello S.. My name is L..
I was faced with the same situation that you are in. My 3 year old son had to have surgery and have Ear tubes put in and Adenoids. I did know how to tell him and I told the doctor that so the nurse gave me this disk on Tonsil and Adenoid surgery and it really seamed to help. Just tell her (no its not in the video) that she has to have surgery and that it will hurt for a while but it will make you all better. Tell her that they are going to take out this hanging ball deep in her throat to make her all better. If she doesnt understand that then she is so young she is not going to care cause she gets all the ice cream that she wants. Good luck and take care. Everything will be just fine. Keep me posted on how she does.
L.

S.,

I have a 3.5 year old little girl as well, and she has had to undergo a minor surgical procedure to drain an ugly abcess. While i was terrified about it, i couldn't let her know. All she knew was that this thing was painful, and the doctors were going to make it feel better. The worst part of the whole thing for her was inserting the I.V. Everything after that, she doesn't remember because she was out. I simply told my daughter that the doctors were going to make everything feel better, but in order to do that, they had to put medicine in her, and even though the "shot" (I.V.) would hurt a little, they had to do it to make her owey go away. Tell your daughter that the doctors are there to help, and even though there might be a little pain/pinch/owey (whichever word you use) the doctors have to do it so that her throat will get better. Be in the room with her to comfort her while the insert I.V.'s and stay with her until she falls asleep, and when she wakes up, you will be there. The most traumatic thing for her will be the preperation for the surgery, and if you are there to hold her and comfort her, it will make it less traumatic. Don't go into detail about how they will be cutting into her or anything, simply tell her that she will go to sleep from the medicine, and the doctors are going to make her throat all better, and she won't feel any of it once the medicine is in her. Good luck. I hope that this will work for your daughter as well as it worked for mine.

C. L.

My son had his tonsils and adnoids removed at 3 years old as well (he is now 5) and I think you got a lot of great advice about preparing your daughter for the surgery. One thing I would like to add is that you should prepare yourself for the recovery. I did not realize how hard that was going to be for my son (and me). The pain afterwards is terrible and it makes you feel terrible. The pain medication will work great but when it wears off and you have to give it again it is so hard to get it down. My son did not want to eat or drink anything, not even popsicles and ice cream. I felt so bad for him. But in the end, after the pain, the surgery was well worth it. He had speech delay and the removal of the tonsils and adnoids improved his speech tremendously. I wish you luck with your daughter and I am sure everything will turn out just fine.

I work in a medical office for the ear, nose, and throat departiment. Unfortunatly, it is very difficult to explain such a thing to a child so little. I know we hand out a coloring book with suggestions on how to help explain everything to the child when the child is a little older. But at this point, I think the best thing you can do is to be strong. If she sees fear in you, and children can see fear, then she will be afraid.
My daugeter had surgery when she was 1yr 8 months old for a different problem. The surgon allowed be to stay with her all the way until she was asleep and ready to begin surgery. It was the hardest thing in the world for me to do. I cried the whole time she was in surgery and was still crying when the doctor came out to tell me everything went okay and I could go back to see her. I sat with her until she woke up.
Pain is so difficult to explain. I think, for as long as possible after, hold her, rock her and tell her "mommy knows, booboo." And it will be difficult. But in the long run, she will not get sick as often for the little extra heartache and in a week's time she will have forgot all about it. Just continue to be the best mom in the world she could ever have.

When my daughter was 2 1/2, she had to have surgery to repair a hernia. I would let your daughter know that the doctors are going to take out her tonsils so that she wont be sick anymore. We told our daughter that she was going to go with the doctors to take a little nap so they could fix her "booboo". You have every right to be nervous or scared though, it's your baby. Just remember, if she's sees that you are okay with it, she will be too. If she sees you scared, it will scare her more. And the peds units at most hospitals are really good at making the kids comfortable.

hi S., my name is P..
i've been there too. my son had his tonsils & adnoids removed when he was 3. everyone here has given you good sound advice. just be calm, have someone with you. don't worry everything will be fine. remember to have all the goodies waiting for her when she gets home that way you guys can stay home comfortably instead of trying to head out those first few days. lots of luck for you and your little girl.
P.