Explaining Different Parantage?

At 3 he is to young to understand adult issues. I would stop having babies without being in a married/committed relationship that was stable and understandable to my child/children. JMO. And maybe get counseling...for everyone...Good luck.

Just use a different name. Daddy vs Dada. Or Dada vs Dad. Or, if you want more difference, Dada vs Papa. And leave it at that. When he gets old enough to ask questions, then you talk to him honestly (I suggest the book "It's not the stork", which explains how babies are made, and then also has a page talking about all the different ways that families are made (everything from traditional to adoptive to foster to blended, and including parents of the same or different genders).

Your confused? I'm even more confused . . . how can a female be his "dada". I could see if you or that person adopted him, but biology dictates that there would have to be yet a 3rd party involved somewhere.

Some how I doubt that your new baby will be calling your current boyfriend "daddy" in front of your 3 yr old for very long . . . that means you would have to stay in a committed relationship for more than say a few months.

I wish your children all the luck in the world.

I hope this post is fake. You don't talk to him about it. Let him be the 3 yr old baby he is and stop talking to him about your mistakes. I hope you get your life straight and stop making babies till you can find a more permanent relationship.

You don't need to explain anything to him, he's three and wouldn't understand it anyway.
The poor kid will figure it out as he grows, just like I did, when I realized my mom liked to have babies with different men whom she never married. I had a birth father, a boyfriend father and a stepfather, only called that last one "step" because he actually stuck around for a few years, they never actually got married.

At 3 he won't be thinking about any of this stuff. At that age mine just were thinking of what toy they were playing with or if they could have a cookie. Adult stuff, relationships, names for people - never even would have registered.

Kind of agree. Your life sounds complicated. I'd be more concerned about that if it were me. The number of people in and out of your child's life is more concerning that what you call them. Just my thought.

Just give each of your baby daddies a different name, dad, daddy, pop, papa, etc. that will help keep them all straight. When your child is old enough to understand sex and biology you can explain then who his "real" father is, there's no need to do it now it would just confuse him.

At his current age there's nothing you can say that he will understand.

You don't. Dada is Dada, and Daddy is Daddy. That's just what you call them. The names ARE different and he'll pick that up. They are names for "the other parent" in your case.

As he gets older and asks more questions, simple and age appropriate answers are best. Probably always asking "what do you mean" if the answer might be complex might help you get exactly what he's looking for. (Like the story of the kid that asks "where do I come from?", gets the sex talk, and then says "Jimmy comes from Chicago").

Your need to explain is probably a lot bigger than his need for info.

Welcome to mamapedia!!

You have a confusing life. You need to seek a therapist's opinion on this one. I wouldn't know where to start.

He's 3 years old and most likely lacks the ability to process what you want to tell him. I would use the KISS method - Keep It Simple Silly - and answer his questions IF AND WHEN he asks them. Don't lie. Don't tell long tales...SIMPLE and truthful.

You could keep it very simple: it takes a woman and man to MAKE a baby but families can be made of all different kinds of people. The man that helped make you is different than the man that helped make number 2. And then tell him how much Dada loves him and will always be his family.

After that I would try to simplify things in all your lives and just concentrate on your kids.

I think three is too young to understand the big picture so explaining would be too much for him. Just answer his questions honestly and you will be fine.

I suggest you're over thinking this. Everyone has a different name. This does not confuse a 3 yo. He's not interested in relationships at this age. He just needs a safe, loving and consistent home. Talking about who is who will confuse him. Calling each person by their name, is all he needs now.

Children aren't aware of social differences. They love easily.

My grandson's parents are divorced. He's called his step dad by his first name sonce he cold talk. He now calls him Dad, after 9 years. There has been no confusion who is his biological father. I suggest you have your older child call your current boyfriend by his first name or something other than any name that refers to him as a dad for several years. Think how confused a six year old will be with 4 father figures. There is a biological father in there somewhere. He will eventually know that it takes a male and female to make a baby. But not now.

Keep the information you give him as he grows very basic/simple. When he starts asking questions, be sure to know what his question actually is and only answer that question.

This is Dada, This is whatever you want him to call your boyfriend. That is all he'll understand now and for the next several years.

Don't explain so much now - he's 3. I'm not sure why the other female parent is "Dada" unless it's a name that your child made up or if she is transgender. But she gets to keep the name she wants.

You might simply things by having the new baby call its father "Papa" so the names "Dada" and "Daddy" aren't so similar sounding. What does your 3 year old call your current boyfriend? If he uses the man's first name, he can keep doing that, but if he's going to slip into what the baby ultimately calls him, you might do better with "Papa" for the baby and "Papa Doug" for the older child. The baby's going to have the same problem eventually, hearing someone else called or referred to as "Dada", so plan ahead on names, not just on explanations.

Then get some books from the children's librarian about blended families, alternative parenting situations, and so on. Read one every so often, moving up in difficulty as your children get older. There are all kinds of families out in the open now - same gender, stepparents, adoptions, cross-racial adoptions, foster parents, and so on. Exposing children to the variety that's out there, regardless of their own family situation/make-up, will make them more accepting.

IF he is asking questions, you answer his questions.

He's 3. There is no way to explain this hot mess to him. Maybe if you stay with your current boyfriend, your 3 yr old can start calling him Daddy, his other parent "dada" and you Mommy. Good luck!