Explaining Christmas

Hi A.,
I am not Catholic but i did want to add something to this post about the whole santa thing. i have a 6 year old and a 3 year old. When my son was 3 or 4 and started to get into the whole santa thing i started to realize that we were sending very mixed messages to our kids. Without guidance in todays world they grow up thinking that santa leaves mountains of presents under the tree and everyone gets this. then you go by a store and see toys for tots and the salvation army and such. how then do you explain that some kids don't get any presents for christmas because their parents don't have enough money? So, in our house Santa bring 3-4 small toys. they are usually books or something educational. When my son talks about what he wants santa to bring, i gently remind him that some toys cost a lot of money and if santa bought a lot of expensive presents he wouldn't be able to give presents to all kids. i have explained that a long time ago he was able to make toys for kids,but now kids usually want the toys in the stores, so he has to be careful with his money. The core presents come from family, so they know who to thank. We also stress buying toys for programs like toys for tots and we "adopt families" for christmas, making sure that we have a child for each kids age so they can choose something cool for them to have and think about how they are making that childs/familes christmas so much better. we make sure our kids are very thankful for what they have and know that not everyone is as lucky. sorry that this is so long, but i wanted to give my perspective. i hope this helps some people that read it with the minefield of todays problems with over gifting from mysterious people ;-)
C..

There are a lot of great books for kids out there that tell the story of Christmas in a way children can understand. My son's favorites for the past two years are "Little Lamb's Christmas" and "Follow the Star." As far as Santa, we told our son about Saint Nicholas and how people enjoy playing Santa and giving gifts to others. We also don't go overboard with gifts on Christmas. Each of our boys gets one toy from us, a stocking of little things, and then an outfit and pajamas. I'm hoping being consistent with that as they grow up will help keep the focus off of material things.

I'm not Catholic, but I am Christian, and I didn't want to lie to my children. So I never told them anything about Santa. None of the gifts were labeled as from Santa until they were WAY past the age of believing the story.

They didn't ask, and I never talked about Santa. My sister and I did the same thing, and we both just smiled when one year, her eldest had gotten old enough to read the tags. After everyone was done opening the presents, he said to his mom, rather quietly, "There weren't any presents from Santa," (They were all labeled by whom they were from) and she said, "You're right, there weren't any." and let it go.

My kids saw Santa come at daycare, but I never brought them to sit on Santa's lap, or any of that . . . I just don't like it, because you are lying, and someday they find that out, and then they will wonder what else you are lying about . . . like, God, maybe ? I'd much rather have my children understand that God exists, and the Christmas is all about HIM, not all about some Santa that hands out toys and treasures. The treasure of Christmas is Christ. And that's what we've always celebrated, reading the Christmas story from the Bible after we open our stockings and before we open the rest, every year.

I think with your son only 4, it is easy at this point to control Christmas. (I, too, have a 4 year old.) Instead of emphasizing Christmas wish lists and presents for him, start talking to him now about how wonderful it would be for him to make and give small but meaningful gifts to people he loves. Let him think of ideas and try to support his ideas, even if they are a little silly. Last year my daughter thought of a list of people that she wanted to make gifts for, and then she and I together made felt ornaments that she glued and decorated herself. They didn't look perfect and probably fell apart, but it seemed that the people she gave them to were touched that it was something handmade by her. Also, instead of reading tons of books about Santa Claus and watching all those Santa-centered Christmas specials, try to intentionally screen things to present the real reason for Christmas. There are lots of wonderful books and programs that will support your religious view, and they include some of the classics, like the Charlie Brown Christmas special. Lighting an advent wreath is another great idea, and if you think that your child is too young to be around flames, there are instructions online for making a paper one. An advent calendar is another great idea, I just wouldn't get one that has chocolate or toys inside...maybe you could make your own. You have more power than you think--you most definitely don't have to succumb to the rampant materialism out there! Kudos to you for trying to fight it!

Hi A.:

Teaching any age child about Christmas is being a role model.

What have you got planned to show you son about God's love by letting him share with you, doing something for an underprivleged child or family. You don't have explain anything. You show him and others as well, you light within.

God Bless you and thanks for asking. D.