Experiences- Infant in Daycare

Updated on August 14, 2012
J.L. asks from Grapevine, TX
21 answers

I would like to get some feedback around infant care for when I go back to work. I would love a nanny but not sure we can afford that, and if so, probably not for too long--I'd say a year max. The idea of a 3 month old in daycare really freaks me out. I am going to look at a well reviewed daycare in walking distance from my house this week to see if it makes me feel better (or worse) but I would love to hear some feedback from those who put their infants in daycare-- and those who considered and opted not to. Thanks.

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T.C.

answers from Minneapolis on

If you decide on daycare i would look into in home daycares. It is very scary the first time around but if you find a person you are comfortable with it is great. My kids LOVE thier daycare. She is a wonderful woman and they are a family there. I have never had an issue and i like the fact they are growing up around other kids to of different ages. They learn so much more and have never had any issues. good luck!!

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A.L.

answers from Chicago on

Both of my girls did day care from 3 months. With my oldest we did an in home provider and it was great until she was walking and getting into things and then the provider was just not as good as she was when she was a baby so we moved her to a center.

With my youngest we started her in a center and she has done phenomenal. She potty trained at 18 months, she is starting a 3 year old pre school class at 2 and is ahead of most of the 3 year olds in large part because of the center.

The one down side has been the illnesses. They are sick a lot that first year in day care. My pediatrician and every other dr. said it is just a matter of timing. They either get sick now in day care or when they start school, but they will get sick.

We have had nothing but good with our day cares, and my girls are better for it.

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M.J.

answers from Sacramento on

We had to with our second child at six weeks because I'm self-employed and maternity leave is unpaid. It wasn't easy leaving her there so young, but it went great! The teachers at the center were awesome and she loved being around other babies. We eventually transitioned to a home-based provider (long story there, but it had more to do with her older brother) and she loved it. She has much better social and language skills than her brother, who didn't start daycare until two.

The downside is that kids are exposed to more colds/illnesses. However, knock on wood, now that my kids are in grade school, they have rock solid immune systems. They got all of the cooties out at the beginning of daycare and build up great immunity.

Daycare providers love working with kids and are experts at dealing with it all. I found ours to be great sources of advice, too, when it came to any issues we were facing (feeding issues, etc.).

Good luck! Hope you find a place that's great!

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A.R.

answers from Dallas on

My son went to a church daycare starting at 14 weeks. He did great, but it was a brand new daycare so there were no other babies - basically we had a nanny that watched him at church, lol. They finally got more babies when he was around 5 mos old. My daughter went to the daycare center her brother attended; she was 12 weeks when she started.

I preferred a daycare for a few reasons:
I liked the idea of more than one person being responsible and accountable for my child's care, I felt it was safer because there were multiple people involved and not just one person alone with several kids.
I was really paranoid about my kid being in someone else's home all day long with no one else there looking over their shoulder. I had the same fear with a nanny. Yes, I had some trust issues, lol.
Daycare was closer to my work and I could run over on my lunch to visit.
I didn't have to worry about my caregiver being sick; I paid the daycare to staff the room, if someone was sick they would schedule someone else and I didn't have to worry about it.

I loved having my kids in daycare. We got close to most of their teachers and my kids thrived. You can tell a good daycare. If the kids are happy, workers are happy, it smells clean, there's low turnover, then it's probably pretty good. I fully credit daycare with helping my kids become the little social butterflies they are today. They make friends easily and new situations don't frighten them, they are independent little souls. I really think daycare helped a lot with that.

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E.S.

answers from New York on

we had our daughter in day care since she was four months old. Like others here, I had to return to work due to $$$.

I lucked out and found a fabulous inhome daycare near my work. I was so comfortable when we first visited that I just knew. They were affordable and flexible, which trumps many of the corporate big centers who have their hands tied due to well, corporate!

Anyway, my daughter thrived in this center. By the time she was over one, she didn't even want to leave!!!

I would have stayed there but I am no longer working.

Just go with your gut. Mother's intuition is the real deal.

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D.K.

answers from Pittsburgh on

My son started daycare at 9 weeks of age. He went three days a week until he was 4-1/2 (they did preschool there with a certified teacher starting at their third birthdays). We were very happy. He never had an issue with being dropped off. He ate well, slept well, played and we (DH and I) learned a ton from his care providers.

I was strongly opposed to having a nanny - I just felt that numerous pairs of eyes are much better than one. I did not want my son parked in front of a television while someone chatted on the phone or did who knows what. Once he was older, it was great for him to have kids to socialize with (initially it is parallel play but they are still learning from and about their peers). I know lots of people on this site do home daycare, but I never considered anything but a licensed and accredited center. No worrying about what to do if one provider got sick, had some family conflict or was too busy watching their own kids to watch mine.

From what I observed, the kids who had more trouble adapting to daycare and preschool were the ones who started later. At 9 weeks, DS was perfectly content in the arms of any caring adult and that is in my mind how it should be. We never had any of this nonsense I read here where a child demands only his/her mother and refuses to be left with dad.

At 6-1/2, DS is a secure, happy, intelligent and extroverted child. He will be starting first grade next week and is looking forward to it because it is exciting and because he knows he can and will make lots of new friends. I feel very comfortable that we made the right decision.

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G.B.

answers from Oklahoma City on

A lot of people have no choice except to work. If you have to work you have to chose child care. If you can afford to work and have a nanny you should go to work because you'd be bringing in a lot of money for your family.

I think child care in the infant room is okay. In Oklahoma the teacher infant ratio is one teacher to 4 infants. They do all sorts of things with them and do a great job of it. I hope you find one that feels good to you.

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C.T.

answers from Dallas on

I had bad day care experiences and a great nanny experience ... but of course, everyone is different and this is just what happened with me. I went back to work when my son was 5 months old and I put him in a mid/high end daycare (Primrose). He was SOOO sick. Yes, everyone says that kids get sick when you put them in daycare, and that its going to happen at some point (when you first put them in daycare or later when they go to school), but my son was really, excessively sick. We had 3 adults in my family (my husband and I and one grandparent) use up ALL of our collective sick and vacation days in the first 4 months. I also wasn't thrilled with the level of care I observed ... it was pretty chaotic in there, and although they said they had a 4:1 ratio, in reality, they had one teacher there until 4 babies came ... then they would look for another teacher sometime after the 5th baby came, but it could take an hour or so and meanwhile, more and more babies would be there. At any rate, when our son was 9 months we got a nanny, and she was absolutely wonderful. No, she didn't do everything I wanted her to do, and she had her own peculiar habits (e.g. she didn't approve of the food I cooked for my son, so I found out later that she fed my food to the dog and cooked her own food for my son), BUT she really loved him and gave great care and attention. He immediately stopped being sick all the time, and contrary to popular wisdom, he did NOT get sick a lot when he did finally go to daycare, at age 3. I think his immune system just needed time to mature. Having a nanny was also nice because he could have a more normal schedule (I could leave without waking him up in the morning). So a nanny ended up being a much better (second) choice for my family. But, I know many families who have had good daycare experiences with infants. Good luck with your decision.

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H.P.

answers from Houston on

Mine was in daycare for days, because my other options fell through at the last minute. I never liked the idea because I don't trust daycare workers to care for children the way that I did when I worked in a nursery. No matter how busy they are, there is no excuse for not giving more personalized care. If you're cut out to do the work, then it's not difficult, and I have little to no tolerance for it. Too many people fall back on childcare and healthcare as just a way to get a check.

All that said, I was surprised at how relatively inexpensive it was to get a good nanny. At least, she's great for us. You're guaranteed as much as a reputable company can guarantee you, but it could be no different from a subpar daycare worker. We were so blessed to find a woman who loves our baby. Her ideals are pretty much exactly like mine, and she does not believe in half-stepping with his care. She does work around the house simply as a way to teach him how to not expect every activity to revolve around him. And, of course, to keep his environment clean. In fact, she was babysitting one evening when our water heater burst and water ran into two rooms. She made sure baby was safe and then proceeded to run around the house checking rooms and moving furniture.

If it's what you want, then I think that it's definitely worth looking into the cost. You might be pleasantly surprised.

Updated

Mine was in daycare for days, because my other options fell through at the last minute. I never liked the idea because I don't trust daycare workers to care for children the way that I did when I worked in a nursery. No matter how busy they are, there is no excuse for not giving more personalized care. If you're cut out to do the work, then it's not difficult, and I have little to no tolerance for it. Too many people fall back on childcare and healthcare as just a way to get a check.

All that said, I was surprised at how relatively inexpensive it was to get a good nanny. At least, she's great for us. You're guaranteed as much as a reputable company can guarantee you, but it could be no different from a subpar daycare worker. We were so blessed to find a woman who loves our baby. Her ideals are pretty much exactly like mine, and she does not believe in half-stepping with his care. She does work around the house simply as a way to teach him how to not expect every activity to revolve around him. And, of course, to keep his environment clean. In fact, she was babysitting one evening when our water heater burst and water ran into two rooms. She made sure baby was safe and then proceeded to run around the house checking rooms and moving furniture.

If it's what you want, then I think that it's definitely worth looking into the cost. You might be pleasantly surprised.

Updated

Mine was in daycare for days, because my other options fell through at the last minute. I never liked the idea because I don't trust daycare workers to care for children the way that I did when I worked in a nursery. No matter how busy they are, there is no excuse for not giving more personalized care. If you're cut out to do the work, then it's not difficult, and I have little to no tolerance for it. Too many people fall back on childcare and healthcare as just a way to get a check.

All that said, I was surprised at how relatively inexpensive it was to get a good nanny. At least, she's great for us. You're guaranteed as much as a reputable company can guarantee you, but it could be no different from a subpar daycare worker. We were so blessed to find a woman who loves our baby. Her ideals are pretty much exactly like mine, and she does not believe in half-stepping with his care. She does work around the house simply as a way to teach him how to not expect every activity to revolve around him. And, of course, to keep his environment clean. In fact, she was babysitting one evening when our water heater burst and water ran into two rooms. She made sure baby was safe and then proceeded to run around the house checking rooms and moving furniture.

If it's what you want, then I think that it's definitely worth looking into the cost. You might be pleasantly surprised.

Updated

Mine was in daycare for days, because my other options fell through at the last minute. I never liked the idea because I don't trust daycare workers to care for children the way that I did when I worked in a nursery. No matter how busy they are, there is no excuse for not giving more personalized care. If you're cut out to do the work, then it's not difficult, and I have little to no tolerance for it. Too many people fall back on childcare and healthcare as just a way to get a check.

All that said, I was surprised at how relatively inexpensive it was to get a good nanny. At least, she's great for us. You're guaranteed as much as a reputable company can guarantee you, but it could be no different from a subpar daycare worker. We were so blessed to find a woman who loves our baby. Her ideals are pretty much exactly like mine, and she does not believe in half-stepping with his care. She does work around the house simply as a way to teach him how to not expect every activity to revolve around him. And, of course, to keep his environment clean. In fact, she was babysitting one evening when our water heater burst and water ran into two rooms. She made sure baby was safe and then proceeded to run around the house checking rooms and moving furniture.

If it's what you want, then I think that it's definitely worth looking into the cost. You might be pleasantly surprised.

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C.J.

answers from Dallas on

I am like CAwritermom. I had to go back at six weeks due to $$. I preferred a day care setting for two reasons. 1. it was closer to my work and I could (and did) go on my lunch break to feed/nurse, etc. 2. I wanted my child to have more than one caring and knowledgeable adult on hand. It can be challenging caring for someone else's child (I was a camp nanny in the summers growing up - my first child was a 20 month old that I cared for from the time he woke up until bed!!). It is exhausting and there is no one else if you are it.
I also felt that the day care center provided a more intelligent care giver because of the certifications and education the teachers had there vs. what a nanny may or may not have.
FYI: If you are interested in learning or knowing more what to look for in quality child care (even nannies) check out our local Child Care Aware program. It is free and has a lot of resources including a child care center referral service where you tell them what you want, how much you want to pay, etc. and they provide you with a list of 5-7 child care providers who meet your desires in a center or in-home care. They are not affiliated with any one center or provider, they only look at licensed and registered facilities. here is a link. Good luck!!
http://www.campfirefw.org/CampFire/Families/FindChildCare...

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W.K.

answers from Chicago on

I have my 2 girls in an at home day care. They were recommended by a previous co-worker. In McHenry co. there is 4-C, which can give you a list of days care facilities both business and home setting. All the home setting people have all had background checks, including anyone of 14 in the house. Most counties have some type of service like this.

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J.L.

answers from Dallas on

Thank you all, you are so wonderful and helpful. I really appreciate the outpouring of responses. The one thing with the nanny for me, is that my office is in my home, so I would be there all day too, working , and they will have to respect that, but I am there if there is something urgent. I imagine when our child gets older that could be a challenge too as the child may have a hard time letting mom work and not disturbing me, but we are pretty certain we will go to daycare by toddler age regardless if we can find the right one.

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A.H.

answers from Canton on

All 3 of mine went to a daycare facility. From oldest to youngest they were 18mths, 3mths and 10wks when they started. I love the day care that they have all went to. They might not get 100% personalized care but mine have never been neglected. Their daycare also taught them alot of things. My youngest (she'll be 4 in 2wks) already knows almost all of her numbers and letters and she can spell her name (by speaking and writing).

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J.K.

answers from Sacramento on

I am a daycare provider, but I also had my first child in daycare when she was an infant (and started my own daycare later), so I know both sides...

I had a fair experience with my daughter in childcare from 3-10 months, and then one that I didn't like at all, and then another when she was a toddler that was absolutely terrific. There are so many different environments so you have to be diligent about checking places out, asking questions and trusting your instincts.

As a daycare provider, I love the babies. But I also have an assistant who is able to take some of the other kids when I need to take care of a baby because they do require extra care. I would look for a place that has a low caregiver to child ratio, and I would ask a lot of questions around how they sleep train and maintain feeding schedules and keep the baby in a safe environment while they are working with other kids, especially if they have a wide range of ages..

Try to find someone who provides care with the same ways that you parent, i.e. if you are very opposed to the cry it out method for sleep, don't put your child in care where they do that. I think that this is particularly important because the more consistent the care is at home and in daycare they better for everyone.

Best of luck!

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L.D.

answers from Dallas on

Before you do anything else - get your name on the waiting lists...

I was six months pregnant and looking to send my baby at @ 3 months - so @ 10 months away from needing daycare and most places just laughed in my face when I asked. This is IN Dallas, so it might be harder to find daycare, but still.

I was terrified of daycare for a newborn, and put my son with a home daycare and it worked out ok. When my daughter came along, I put them both in the same small center. I have to say, I LOVED the care my daughter got. She had the same caregiver until she moved into the one year old room at @ 14 months (I loved the caregiver so much I kept her in the baby room as long as possible!). The caregiver seemed to love my daughter as much as she would love her own baby. The babies always seemed happy and I don't remember every coming when they were all crying. I DO remember coming into a room with lights out, classical music playing, and babies sleeping. The center had a floater who would come in and help if any of the babies started crying/needed extra help. The room had several rocking chairs and all the staff members (even the director) liked to sneak in to rock a baby.
I asked the caregiver to only talk to my baby in Spanish, and my daughters' first word was "agua." They also did baby signs and my daughter new about 20 signs by the time moved up. She also would follow many commands spoke in Spanish.
The place was ALWAYS super clean. They washed the crib linen EVEY DAY and it never smelled like diapers.
I don't know how they did it.
Anyway - I LOVED the care my baby got, and it made it so much easier to go back to work when I could image her in that sweet red and white room, being rocked and sung to and playing with little toys.

ETA: I was worried about my children getting sick - but my daughter only got sick once in her first year. My son, in the home daycare and around only 4 other children, got sick @ 3 times.

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A.F.

answers from Houston on

I was very lucky and my parents watched my daughter until she was one. Then she started in the infant room at the daycare she's in now. I know that I would be perfectly comfortable putting my 2 month old son in their care if my parents were unable to keep him.

You have to feel comfortable with the environment and everyone's comfort levels are different. I ended up choosing the first school I toured, but did see a few others (and checked out health/safety reports online) first. I love my daughter's daycare and it's 100% about the directors and teachers.

I know the directors care about the kids which means they won't put up with teachers who don't. Any concern I've had about a teacher (and it's normally new teachers who are acclimating - my daughter has major diaper rash issues that can get quickly out of hand if a specific procedure isn't followed) has been taken to heart and corrected immediately.

You have to trust your providers. It will never be the same as keeping them with you, but if you find the right place, you won't worry.

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K.H.

answers from Dallas on

I think we all enter childcare with preconceived notions and fears. For me I was scared to death to leave my sweet precious 3 month old home alone with a nanny. I think I saw too many scary 20/20 nannycam stories! I had no way of knowing she'd get attention. So I went the daycare option at a place near work so I could go initially and nurse her at lunch or just check on her. I loved that there were 3 women there taking care of the babies. I felt like all she did was sleep and eat so it didn't matter where she was. Those ladies were great and gave me tips on taking care of my baby. Four years later when I had twins I felt much more comfortable hiring a nanny - and I was there part of the time with her so I had a great experience with a nanny too. But I know for me the infant daycare experience was wonderful and I wouldn't do it differently.
However - I will add once she got to be 20 months - I did not like the daycare option. I felt it was too long a day for her to be at "school" with no time to chill by herself.

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D.B.

answers from Minneapolis on

both of my children attended daycare as in infants and toddlers. I always a center near work so I could go visit during lunch. this might sound terrible, but I was relieved to put my first born in daycare as soon as she turned 6 weeks old. she was a very very difficult baby, who had started crying 2 hours after she was born and only stopped to sleep for about 4 hours a day until she entered daycare. the infant room what is staffed by 2 retired pediatric nurses. I recall apologizing to them about her non stop crying, and fleeing before they would change their minds. lol! of course, she took too beautiful nap for them that day and from that day forward kept her crying too the hours in between 1 am and 3 am from there out. I don't know what they did, but they thought I was exaggerating. I wish! anyway, other than biting issues my son had when he was a toddler, that put us through pure hell, hour daycare experiences were pretty good. they spent most of their toddlerhood in a montessori preschool which was just fabulous. go with your gut instinct. Good luck!

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M.K.

answers from Dallas on

We opted not to. As I approached the end of my first maternity leave, hubby and I started looking for daycare. I toured two supposedly great centers here in Fort Worth. I felt that both were really institutional. They reminded me of my work experience as a direct health care worker. I did it while getting through college, but most of my co-workers were low paid, low educated, apathetic about the job. I saw the same thing at the daycares - people just trying to get through a day.

At the worst of the two daycares, I saw the infant room, which had 4 babies and one worker. The worker had one baby on a changing table, slowly changing her diaper with this dead look on her face, not interacting with baby at all, who was crying. Another baby was sitting on the floor crying and another baby was in a crib crying with one leg sticking out of the slats. The last one was standing at the glass wall banging on it. I was absolutely horrified. I went back to my car and cried and cried.

When I got home, hubby and I had a long talk and we decided he would quit his job and stay home with our daughter. He made less money and hated his job, so that was a no brainer. Yes, we sacrifice some money-wise, but it's well worth it. We have never regretted that decision. It might actually be a wash money-wise when you factor in his commute's wear and tear on his car, the gasoline, the lunches out, and dinners out all the time when we were both working.

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A.V.

answers from Washington DC on

We went with a small center. The really small in house daycare we viewed didn't have the feel we were looking for, nor the hours. There was another one that was big and well regarded, but expensive and too regimented. The one we chose was just right. The hours I needed, near my office, and they let DD be a baby (started out with 4 babies in the room and then later went to 6 but that was their maximum). My sister's son is in daycare now and is thriving. They send her pictures on her phone daily of what he's up to. It's not always easy to leave your baby in someone else's care, but sometimes you have to and you just pick the best place you can. If you like the center or sitter, then they will be worth their weight in gold. The downside of a nanny is that you have to fill in when she's sick or needs a vacation vs the center where there should always be someone on staff. There was a Christmas break and some holidays at the center, but mostly the ones you would reasonably expect to take off from your own job. If you go for a nanny, find one that is really engaged with kids - I've seen a number who take the kids to the park and ignore them and talk on the phone. But one of my friends is a nanny who gets up on the equipment with her charges, so there are still plenty of good ones. You might ask someone with an older child with a nanny about sharing a nanny - if they are only keeping the nanny PT for after school, the nanny may be able to add on your baby if everyone is OK with it. We almost did that (but friends' son was a terror so we declined).

ETA: Do put your name on lists and consider any fees you lose to be insurance. The one DD went into didn't have a slot for 2 extra weeks so I took 12 weeks of my own leave, and then DH took a week of paternity leave and a friend watched her for a week. Infant care is harder to find because the ratio is only like 1:3 or 1:4. One thing I also liked about DD's daycare was they had 6 babies only. They didn't have 12 babies in a larger space with more caregivers. It was very homey. I did walk in any time I wanted and never saw a problem. They called me whenever DD needed Mom and Dad. Look at the other kids - are they happy? Playing? Respectful vs scared? Adults can lie to you, but kids show the truth.

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B.W.

answers from Washington DC on

We put our daughter into an in-home daycare at 6 weeks because like most who have responded, I had to return to work. I hated it to be honest; I wanted her with me all the time. But when I would pick her up and she was as happy as can be, I was thrilled to know she was receiving great care. She is very advanced for her 2 year old mind so you can get great care and education from in-home as well. We looked into centers as an options and they were about $200+ more per month which we were ready to shoulder but then we looked into their credentialing and inspections and they had repeatedly failed "Infant feeding"....that didn't sit well with me so I opted out of there. At my job, I monitor a child care site and sadly would not put my child there. the unfortuante part is there are 'minimum standards' that have to be met and as long as they are, they will maintain their license. You MUST be comfortable with where you are leaving your child and how you feel about that person or staff people. It is so very difficult and you don't always want to be second guessing. Just know it will be ok as long as you do your part to investigate and always follow up. Over 2 years later, I still request the written investigation of my provider. Good luck to you.

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