Expecting in february..seeking Advice

Lacey,
I think that everyone is nervous about what to expect with their first pregnancy, and it is very common to worry. I would say first that if you really trust you OB/GYN than talk to him/her or one of the nurses which know more about you and see what they say. If you need someone to talk to just to vent or any thing i would not mind listening.
I wish you the best of luck with your little one,
J.

Congratulations Lacey!! The mom's here on mamasource can be your family support. It is scary when you are pregnant for the first time, but you're gonna do great. Just keep thinking about that little pumpkin you'll get to hold soon!
My sister was worried about her small size when she was pregnant with her first. She tried to have the baby naturally but the Dr. decided on a C section; her hips were just too narrow. She just had baby #2! She's doing great.
I'm sure your Dr. will know what's best for you.
Right now just focus on taking care of yourself!

Oh, sweetheart, I feel for you. I was older when I had my first child, and I was heavier than you, though I have a very small frame. But what all first-time moms have in common is fear of the unknown. Because of my small frame, I had to have a c-section for each of my 3 babies. That certainly does not mean that will be your case. And if it is, it's not as bad as many will have you think. I was awake through it all, didn't have to push, and didn't feel a thing. Can you relax your fears by perhaps talking to someone at work, or at church? When you get to the hospital, or maybe even before, speak to a social worker who can put you in touch face-to-face with others with similar interests. Remember, you will come through this and be able to tell the story. Every mother you know has. Don't internalize any horror stories you hear. Each woman has her own unique experience, and has varying thresholds for pain. Just stay focused on the baby. That little heartbeat at your prenatal visits will overcome any fears you may have. I wish you a speedy and comfortable delivery and recovery, and a happy and healthy baby!

You are extremely blessed to have your boyfriend by your side through it all. My husband was there in the room with me for all deliveries, and he cut the cords. Having your guy by your side during this time also relieves a lot of stress. Good luck!

What does your doctor say about your size? Any concerns? I started out at 113, gained 35 pounds and delivered an 8 lb 3 oz baby without any complications. It is really amazing how your body stretches out to accomodate birthing a baby. You won't believe how wide your hips will get! I would suggest educating yourself as much as you can, through reading and your doctor, talking with friends (but only listen to the POSITIVE stories!), take some childbirth or prenatal yoga classes to meet other women that are going through the same thing at the same time. Try to get your own personal support group together. I took a hypnobirthing class (which both mom and dad attend. It really gets dad involved with the birth) and really loved the education, the positive, healthy, non-medicalized outlook about giving birth, and lots of ways to relax and do it naturally (which is proven to be better for both mom and baby.) When my son was born, both the nurse and the doctor complimented me on how well I did! I'd be glad to hook you up with the instructor if you're interested. Lots of luck with everything, relax and enjoy this special time!

Hi Lacey
That little life within you is so important, and you are nurishing that little life right now, determining that little life's future as well as your own labor, delivery, and recovery. Nurish all well. I trust you are seeing the OB-GYN and that they are taking good care of you and you are listening to their advice and heeding it. That being the case all should be well.
I am sorry you have no mom figure to help you through this because it is fun to listen to stories, however, make sure you are not listening to horror stories from the ER. There are plenty of great stories out there. God bless you!
You are welcome to email me so we can talk.
K. SAHM married 38 years with 4 grown children 37, 32, and twins 18, one of which is tiny too, weighing in at 97 pounds on a good day.

Dear Lacy,

First let me just say, " take a big breath". You will be just fine no matter your size. My first mother in law only wieghed 100 lbs until after she had baby number five. The best thing you can do for yourself is be informed. I found that ready about natural childbirth really prepared me for the fact that my body was made to have children and that it wasn't really a medical condtion but a natural way of life. I would recommend ready two books by Ina May Gaskin, "Spiritual Midwifery" and "Natural Child Birth". There are many books out there that focus on the postive rather than negative and those are the ones you should be looking for. Even if you are into having a birth involving pain killers and or other hospital procedures having knowledge is like having a cure to a disease, you will feel more incontrol if you know what your body is doing while in labor. Another big factor is staying in shape while you are prego. I hate exercising but had to walk and stretch while I was prego knowing that my body had such a big job ahead. I'm very happy for you and wish you the best. If you would like more info or encouragement just drop me a line. I just had my first baby in April, everything went exactly how I had hoped and I'm very happy.

S.

A few other moms told you about Babycenter.com, which is a great, super informative resource for pregnancy and babies. Sign up for their weekly emails and they'll tell you exactly how your baby is progressing. Also it's really important to get the right care, you should be seeing an OB/GYN for regular checkups.

As for your weight, the recommended weight gain is 25-35 lbs. but obviously some will put on more, some less. You'll start to put on more weight as your pregnancy progresses. Be sure to drink plenty of water because that helps change out your baby's amniotic fluid which contains their waste.

Don't worry about the birth because of your small frame. Most babies are made to fit through their mother's pelvis, and what matters isn't how wide your hips are, but how wide the hole in your pelvic bone is. As you get closer to your due date, it'd be good for you and your fiance to take a labor/birthing class. They'll tell you exactly what to expect during labor and delivery. Do a web search for one in your area. Congratulations and good luck!

Congratulations! Being a mom is the greatest joy! I echo a lot of the sentiments the other moms have expressed. Here is some quick advice. Trust your body. Get a doula or a midwife. Take some birth and parenting classes. There is more than one style of being pregnant, giving birth, and raising a child -- read, talk to people, and explore what feels right to you and the baby's dad. Have fun!

Dear Lacey
Please don't be too scared! We were all scared to some degree when we were preg. for the first time, and the worst thing about it is no one can tell you what it will be like. Child birth is so different for each woman, you just never know. It made me feel better to hear as many stories as I could from as many different people as possable. I also watched A Baby Story on Lifetime as often as I could. I guess I figured then I would see many possiblities. Let me also tell you, that no matter what you experince, it will be the most amazing thing of your whole life! You will never forget it. Having said that, you will forget parts of it. Any pain, discomfort, anything but the joy, will fade when you see that beautiful baby. I had the worst first pregnancy ever, and couldn't wait to do it again. I have two beautiful girls, I wouldn't trade a single min. of the pregnancies or births for anything in the whole world!I wish I could tell you what to expect, or what it will be like, but there is just nothing I can say that I can garentee . I wish you the best of luck, and a beautiful healthy baby!Please let me know if I can help anymore.
J.

Congrats on your first child! It is totally life changing in a wonderful way. You will be exhausted and elated all at the same time. It is worth every exhausting moment. As far as being small my cousin was about your size and she delivered vaginally. Small person small baby. Have you been going to a dr./midwife? Do you let them know you are scared?
Labor on the other hand is very different for each individual. You never know what will happen or how it's going to go. I am due for my 2nd in about 3 weeks, my first is 17 mos. My labor for my daughter was not what I expected. You can not control anything, but it is very important to have support.
I had my sister in law w/ me. God bless my hubby, but he was pretty useless. Do you have any friends that are close enough to have w/ you in the room? I can't stress enough to you how important it is to have people around, especially when you are at home. The first few weeks are pretty intense. I have family around, but everyone has their own life too. I thought everyone would be around a lot more than they were. I was even cooking dinner the first few days I was home. People have good intentions, but like I said they also have their own things going on. I know your fiance probably works, but he will need to help you as much as he can when he is home. It is also important for your recovery. I had the baby blues for 2 weeks. It is something you really can not control, but if people are around it helps. Where do you live? If you need anything you can e mail me at ____@____.com. Sometimes even to vent helps. Good luck and know that you are never truly as alone as you may think!

Hi Lacey, I was..well,I am 5'4 and was only 100 lbs when I first got pregnant. I gained like 55lbs!!(I was a chocolate feen!!) But dont worry you will be fine! My delivery went very well, the epidural worked great..I recommend! I remember watching The Cosby Show during the delivery..and the doctor had to tell me when to push..so I felt no pain. The thing that suprised me the most that NO ONE ever told me was that my stomach was going to be like Jello after the birth of the baby...and large.Which freaked me out..I was 21 when experiencing this and you know..it is hard to deal with not having your body the way you are used to it being. BUT it all went away with time. I'd say after about 9months after having my daughter I was back down to 110. WHich for me is a good weight. Good luck and dont worry YOU WILL BE FINE!! Just watch your chocolate intake! hehe!! ;) oh and Stacy is right go get that book it is great, I would also recommend What to Expect, the Toddler Years. That was a GREAT help for me with my first child, and well, even my second!

First of all, just try your hardest to realize that our bodies are made to handle things like this. If you can, go to a Lamaze class - they are very informative not to mention the number of other nervous moms that will be there (dads too)! I had my first daughter when I was 28 and didn't think the world could get any better, but then 3 wks before Sami was born my mom died - somehow, someway I kept going. One thing I remember from my first delivery was that I was so gung ho about doing it all on my own naturally, then I realized that not having an epidural was kind of taking away from the enjoyment so I opted for one - my mom & dad would both tell me that the dr put a mirror in front of my mom so she could see me being born and they did the same thing for me. It was wild - it really was! I think that when you are a mom you build up certain strengths and qualities that you may never have known existed. As far as weight gain, I only gained 12 lbs w/my first & 16 w/my 2nd - whereas my sister-in-law gained over 60 & she was about 105 to start. A lot of it depends on how much of the eating for two mentality you buy into. Your OB/GYN can also give you an idea of what you need to gain & all. My girls will be 5 in november & 11 in february. The time goes by so quickly but maybe you could find some group to join so you get to meet other moms & eventually your baby will have playmates. Does where you live offer any type of programs like that? Good luck & if you ever have any questions, I'm not shy! I won't give you all of the horrible details (just kidding) there weren't any of them w/my deliveries - JUST AFTER! I love my girls, but somedays!!!!

Hi lacey!

you probably dont have much to worry about. i am only 5 feet tall and i gained (gasp) 40 pounds when i was pregnant with my first child, he was 8 pounds 10 ounces at birth.

dont worry. everything will be fine.

if you have any other questions for a small mom, im here.

K.

Lacey-

Congrats!!

I am sure you will get a ton of birth stories. Mine, personally, was beautiful and the most amazing thing I have ever done. It was really empowering! I would be happy to share, if you want specific details, but I find everyone's birth story is unique and special.

While I have no experince with small size (I have the reverse problem and run large), I was "alone" since my closest family about 1.5 hrs south of where I gave birth. I chose to use the Bradley method which I found very imformative including nutrition through birthing and even breastfeeding, types of beneficial positions during labor, and coaching skills for your support person (in my case, my husband). I would look for a Bradley instructor on their website and try to find someone who runs the middle ground. Some instructors can be extreme. Mine knows first hand that things can change and she stressed repeatedly that birth is beautiful and individual and that flexiblity coupled with knowledge is what keeps a Mom in control. She said that the only time birth was a "failure" was if I felt out of control. I felt well educated for any scenario including c-section (which I was very scared of, but did not require).

I also used a Doula, available through Valley Hospital of Ridgewood, NJ. I don't know where you are planning on having the baby, but I would definately looking into getting one as a second support person. Mine was amazing and she kept me calm and allowed my husband to stay with me the whole time. When he had to leave (for phone calls and such), I did not feel alone. I helped make the event complete.

Blessings!
~C.

Hey Lacey- I only gained 12 pounds with my daughter and was a little over 100 pounds at delivery, and it was an easy delivery no problems, I wouldn't worry about your size.

Lacey

Do you have a midwife or doula that can help. There is a great organization, Rockland Parent Child Center in Nyack. I think that you should contact them and see if they can help you get in touch with a doula or midwife who can help you. There is no need for you to be alone. Really.

When my first child arrived I felt very much the same way. I started attending baby group at RPCC and developed a wonderful group of moms in a similar situation. The center can also help you to get into contact with a doula or midwife and support groups.

Good luck....reach out, get support so that you can enjoy your adventure.

go to all you dr visits,sleep when you can,theres a book in barnes and noble,that you can get its called what to expect during pregnancy.the book was great for me.its a scary thing but don't be,its also a wonderful thing too,my boys are 14-19.if i can help you more in anyway,you can write me here,staceyC.

Start educating yourself now about birth. The most important thing you need to do is figure out what kind of birth you want and then go after finding the right care provider.

I highly, highly, highly recommend getting a birth doula and perhaps a post partum doula if you have no family around. Go to dona.org Many doulas offer sliding scales but if you can't afford it, instead of having a baby shower, ask people to chip in for the doula costs.

It's normal to be scared but educating yourself and making informed choices about your care will help it to dissipate.

I also recommend the book Pregnancy, Childbirth and the Newborn by Penny Simkin

Best of luck...

Hi

I know it can be scary to expect your first child. As you feel that life inside of you become more real with each tiny flutter you start to be anxious as to if you are really ready to be a mother.

Trust me you are. Your maternal instincts will kick in long before that baby is born... Make sure you find a supportive birthing centre and go to all check ups. You can ask all questions to the nurse as she examines you. I'm sure if you explain your fears they will be able to ease some or all of them. A child is a blessing from God and you can ask God to help you through this time. These things helped me during my pregnancy and I had pre-eclampsia (high blood pressure during pregnancy) so I was in great danger throughout my pregnancy.

Hope I helped you in some way, feel free to ask anymore questions.

T.

Your fears are all a part of pregnancy, especially since it is your first one and you don't know what to expect. I prepared for labor and natural birth and ended up having a c-section! Life just happens like that sometimes. I encourage you to take pictures of yourself at all stages of the pregnancy and some video of the funny things that happen (for me getting out of bed was a riot!) Your body won't give you more than you can handle and if you are measuring big for date your ob will let you know like mine did. Just because you are tiny does not mean you are not meant to do the same thing as everyone else. All will be fine. Stay positive and enjoy the pregnancy as much as possible. The love you will have for your new baby will amaze you. I feel like my heart will explode from so much love all the time. I look forward to hearing how things went for you! Feel free to email anytime if you want a listening ear ok? N.

Dear Lacey,
Find the book "What to expect when you're expecting". You can find it at the library, yard sales, and good will. It honestly is everywhere. It will give you a lot of information about your pregnancy. I would also talk to a nutritionist. Ask your doctor if he/she has someone you could see. You are right on track for your weight, and should plan to gain 25-35 pounds throughout the pregnancy. If you are worried about delivery, ask your doctor about options. I prefer getting an epidural (I have had two children, and the third is coming in mid January), but some women prefer to go natural (crazy if you ask me =). Most of all, I would write down all of your questions (so you don't forget any), and ask your doctor every one. I am also available for questions, if you want to send me any. If you are close by, I would love to meet with you to discuss your fears and questions.

Good Luck and let me know if I can help,
C. Thomson

Lacey,
The thing that put me at ease during my first labor was I knew where the pain was coming from and what it was. I think a lot of time people go through painful hospital experiences because they don't know why they're in pain and what is going on in their bodies (ex: people rushed to the hospital suffering from strokes or heart attacks). This may sound stupid but I felt more calm and in control because I knew that the labor wasn't a life threatening pain.

Don't be frightened to ask questions, read, and talk to anyone who has had kids or are expecting their first. Do you talk to your fiance's family? And of course you can always post questions on this site, there are many helpful mothers who are willing to offer their advice and experiences.

i didnt read the other responses so i may be repeating. congratulations! my mother wasnt in my life either, and i was the first of my friends, so i didnt have anyone either that i felt close enough take advice from. the first thing i can say is, even though it sounds so cheesy, get the pregnancy week by week book. very concise, simple, not overwhelming. also watch lots of those discovery and learning channel birth shows. it really does help to see all the different scenerios and options and labor condtions people go thru.

size doesnt matter. my sil was 85lbs pre-preg and has had 3 babies, no ceasareans. its generally the size of your pelvis when they say someone was "too small" and the pelvis size is different from body size. being so small, you may gain more than average to make up for your small size.

educate yourself on what you want/dont want. some doctores do episiotimies and pitocin(speeds up contractions but they hurt more), even cathaters as standard proceducre even though they arent necessary. discuss the use of forceps and vacuums prior to the date. think of everything prior to so if anything pops up, you already had your discussion and know your decision.

know you get to decide everything. dont let them take your baby at night if you dont want them too, but make sure to let them if you want them too. everything is your choice, being young, the nurses may try to influence you or take control, but remember its your baby.

also, no one tells you about this much, but after you have the baby, you bleed alot and are in pain. going to the bathroom is a messy ordeal, not trying to scare yoy, just trying to prepare you as they really dont mention after.

there is a ton i could say but those are just the things that i wasnt prepared for myself.

Lacey,

Keep the faith. God made our bodies-no matter what size-capable of handling child birth. It all works out. Pray for the guidance and strength to be the mother he would have you be and you will do a great job raising your child! Best of luck.

Hey Lacey.

I started my pregnancy at about 97lbs and by the time I gave birth, I was about 133. Now I am down to 95lbs (probably from running after my beautiful 3 yr old boy)! I breastfed for two years so my stomach is completely back to pre-baby toned. As for the birth, I worried a lot too because I was so small and my husband is 5'11" and stocky. I gave birth 1 month early, probably because my body couldn't stretch any more and my boy was born almost 6 lbs. I feared the pain so I asked for an epidural early on and felt nothing. When the doctor told me to push, I did and that was that. I really wouldn't worry. Especially if you have an epidural. My experience was pain-free. It's really no big deal. Don't worry so much and enjoy your pregnancy. It goes by soooooooooo fast!

D

Try not to read ...what to expect when you are expecting...it only scares people.
A great website is Babycenter.com it does a day to day knowledge about your pregnancy.
You are always going to get information from people that you don't want. Just know that every type of information can be filtered into the right ones.
It's going to be great! Ask as many questions to your doctor...write them down when you have them....because with being pregnant...you might forget...haha
If you need any help...I will be glad to help..I had my first in jan 2008. I will be helpful and not tell you crazy war stories!
Good luck and know that there is someone to help.
- S.

Hi Lacey,

Congrats on your little one! Your doctor's will be monitoring the baby's size and I'm sure they will keep yours in mind. Have you thought of getting a doula? You could find one through your doctor's office or the hospital. It's someone who will be with you during labor and usually they come after you are home too at least once to check on you and help you a bit. I've heard of some coming and cooking for the moms. Personally I visited with a holistic instructor because I wanted to go completely naturally as I was scared to death of the whole thing too. She was a Godsend at teaching me how to relax. In the end I need an emergency c-section with my oldest but because of my instructor, I feel like I could relax more about everything all the same.

I wish you luck and if you ever have any questions, don't hesitate to email me. I could be like your "big sister". :)

Hugs,
L.

I am small as well...though not quite as small as you. I am now preganant with my second - due in March. I started both pregnancies at about 105 lbs. I have a small frame and most people consider me to be petite. I've gained about 8 lbs so far and gained a total of 28 lbs with my first (who delivered one month early). My suggestion to you is to not worry so much. Your size is not a prediction for how your labor will go. Some very large women have trouble, and I am small and I delivered vaginally with no help. That's not to say this time around, things won't be different. Just stay foused, eat right and don't be so concerned about your weight if your OB isn't. If the baby for some reason has trouble decending, you will have the help of forecps or the option of a C-Section. As long are you trust and are comfortble with your doctor, you will be ok. If you think you would like a woman's support during labor, perhaps you should seek out a doula.

I was 98lbs when i was pregnant with my first child. It was hard to hide my pregnancy during the first tri-mester since any little bit of weight i would put on would be noticeable. I started wearing maternity clothes early on because all my clothes were all tight fitting to begin with. I'd shop at H&M(maternity section) they had some cute fashionable clothes. I would were clothes that were fitting because I liked the way it looked and this way it didn't look like I was trying to hide the fact that I was pregnant. Enjoy the the first two trimesters as much as you can. Ask your OBGYN about what foods you should stay away from and ask what kinds of exersice are safe. You will be fine! I gained alot of weight during my pregnancy but that's o.k. enjoy it as much as you can. After I had my daughter it took 8months to get back to 100lbs... and that was without much exersice. Read books on pregancy like "What to expect when you are expecting" that's a great one. very detailed and informative. Just stay away from stressfull situations and enjoy the pregnancy. You will do fine.
-M.

i'm not a dr., but i would think you should've gained some more wieght by now.
your size has nothing to do with the wideness of your pelvis. talk to your ob about it

First of all GOOD LUCK. You can expect to gain weight. I'm due in December. You can expect to be tired, especially at the end. Take it easy, but don't get lazy - you need to keep up SOME sort of energy!

Does that help at all? If you have questions later, convo me through MamaSource! This is my second....so take my advice however you like!

Hi Lacey,

I hope that you are feeling well now that you are well into your pregnancy. And not to worry about being scared. I just had my first 4 months ago, and I remember trying to wear a brave face out in the world but being a bit scared about the unknown. You have done a very good thing seeking support from other moms. It was people's stories and advice, as well as my childbirth class and midwives that helped me to grow more comfortable with the idea of actually birthing and raising a child!

As far as my situation was concerned I was not as tiny as you to start, although not big by any stretch of the imagination, but it was a wonderful experience! I did most of my labor at home and went into the hospital ready to push. The last phase of labor, the transition phase was kind of rough, but pushing was a relief. Our son was born 1 & 1/2 hours later, and what an extraordinary experience. My best advice would be to take care of yourself, take a childbirth class, and keep on asking questions on this site. The women who are connected here are a wealth of knowledge and support.

Blessings to you and your fiance as you prepare to have your baby!

first of all expect the most exciting time in your life! One of the best books my friends and I read while expecting was "my girlfriends guide to pregnancy"- (they may not be the exact title. Don't worry about your small size- your boby will know what to do- though you may be a little more itchy because of it (our skin itches when it stretches). Check with your insurance company to see if they have any expectant parent programs. Mine did and there was a nurse assigned to me and i would call her if I had any questions- or just needed somebody to let me know I was doing fine.
You may also be hearing about banking your baby's cord blood. If you are not yet familiar with it, it is taking the stem cells from your baby's umbilical cord upon delivery, and it is stored for your baby and family. There are a lot of companies that do this, though my research showed viacord to be right for my family. if you want to contact them call 1-888-758-5115- give ref #638 for a special savings. you can aslo check out their website -viacord.com or http://www.brainshark.com/brainshark/vu/view.asp?pi=83304...

good luck, and though you may be nervous, when you are holding that baby for the first time and he/she looks up at you- all of it will be so worth it.

congrats again!

Hi Lacey:

Congratulations on your pregnancy! You must be thrilled and scared to death at the same time. I can not help you with what to expect because of your size, but talk to your dr., they should be able to answer these questions for you.

I have had 3 children and 2 mis-carriges, if you have any quetsions please feel free to e-mail me and I will try to help you any way I can! just respond to this e-mail and I will get back to you!

Oh and I have an extra copy of what to expect when your expectin if you want it!

GOOD LUCK!

Hi Lacey,
My name is D. and I work at a pregnancy resource center in Hawthorne, NJ, that provides free support to women (and men) of all ages who are facing unplanned pregnancies or who don't feel ready to parent for any of a number of reasons.

Last night I was at a CPR Class we were offering for new parents and the instructor (who is also a birthing coach) happen to say that she usually found that "the body that grows the baby can usually birth the baby." She is a small person but gave birth to 3 large babies without any problems.

If you are within driving distance I would encourage you to come to our center for support. We have lots of lessons (one-on-one with a peer counselor) on pregnancy and newborn care. We love to help new dads, too. If you are not near us, you could go online to www.optionline.org to find a center in your area that offers free support like we do.

I'm sure you'll be a great mom, but it is smart to seek out good advice and want a little "mothering" for yourself as well. Raising children under the best of circumstances can be frustrating and tiring a lot of the time, so don't get discouraged but do get some support!

My number at work is ###-###-####. D.
Lighthouse Pregnancy Resource Center

I wouldn't be concerned about your weight gain. Your doctor is going to tell you if you should be gaining more or less. I was really happy with the What to Expect When... books. Do as much reading as you can and maybe join babycenter.com, which will give you weekly email updates on how your baby is growning and what's developing when.

Don't be scared. Nervous, yes, excited, definitely. You have a lot of changes ahead of you and I'm not saying it will be easy but here you are--young and pregnant and you're going to do great! Read and educate yourself about child birth as much as you can and remember: you are your baby's only advocate right now. Pay attention to what your body is telling you and never be afraid to call your doctor if you have a concern, any time of day! That's important, never hesitate to call and if you think something is wrong or just not quite right you have to make yourself understood to your doctor. They don't know everything and every pregnancy is different. So enjoy this happy time and all the best!

Oh you'll do great! I was 108 when I started and ended around 150! But less than a year after having him I was back to 108!!! (Nursing helped loose the weight) Just be prepared incase of a c-section because of your size! Good Luck, Know matter how bad the delivery the baby is worth it all!!!

HI Lacey
Congratulations! I can give you some advice regarding your size. I was 95 lbs with my first baby, and didn't live near family throughout my pregnancy or delivery. So I get it. You can learn from a mistake I made, and that was that I ate everything in sight and gained 60 lbs. I always feared the possibility of a C section, so I skipped the labor and delivery classes that I knew would cover the c section. Even my doctor knew my fears, so we never discussed it. She said don't worry about it.
When the big day came, the fear of the unknown set in, as it does for everyone. Labor was hard and slow because the baby was so big. It wasn't until the time to push when we realized this baby's size was going to be a problem. Eventually he was born and in the end all turned out fine and I had a wonderful baby boy. But I did the wrong thing by gaining so much weight, and we almost lost him because of it. He weighed 8 lbs 10 oz. Much too big for someone of my size and a first baby. My next pregnancy I smartened up and only gained 35 lbs and had a beautiful little girl that weighed 7 lbs 11 oz. What a difference it made! We didn't have any problems at all with the labor or delivery-it was a completely different experience.

Your physical size has nothing to do with how you'll do in labor. It's all about the structure of you pelvic. I'd mention this to your doctor, and he'll be able to give you some guidance. Remember, our bodies were made for birthing. It is a very joyful experience, and once you hold your little one in your arms, you forget just what you went through.

For my first one, I prepared for childbirth using Hypnobirthing because I wanted labor to be a joyous experience. My aunt used this and raved about the program. It really helped me. I didn't find labor to be excurciating pain. I found it to be very similar to period cramps, just on an elevated level, and the "pushing" phrase was comparable to taking a poop...sorry, way TMI!, but that's how it felt for me. Check out www.hypnobirthing.org if you're interested.

I wish you and your fiance the best with your new addition. Congratulations;)

It's perfectly normal to be scared. First of all, talk to your doctor, that what he/she is there for - to answer your questions. Then, read, read, read, The best books are The What to Excpect books, very helpful. Then, if you have any friends or family or maybe you can join some sort of a group with people who have young children. Your body and your life are going to be changing rapidly. I was 23 when I had my first child and yes, it was scary. It was also amazing, exhausting, challenging, fun and wonderful. Relax, ask questions of everyone (people love to talk about their kids) and don't forget to include soon to be Dad - he needs to know this stuff too! Good luck and you'll be fine.

Keep god in your heart and he will help you through it. I was 23 when I had my first child. I wanted all natural but I couldn't take it. I would really suggest getting a midwife or a doula. Please try to get someone to be there with you. My main focus was my mother and of course my husband. Everything will be fine. What you go through labor and delivery its all well worth it at the end. Just always think about that.

Hi Lacey! First congrats on your baby!! It's a very exciting and scary time! I am a RN on the maternity floor. While you are a small person, it really deals with your internal structure as to if you can have a baby vaginally. Your doctor should be able to tell your hip structure with an internal exam. Ask him/her if they think you would be able to have a vaginal birth. If not, then talk c-section. Either way, you will have a beautiful baby! My philosophy on childbirth was that millions of women have been doing it for millions of years and more than once, so how bad could it be??! ha ha. Good luck! and please let me know if you h ave any other specific questions...

Hello Lacey!!!

Don't be scared you are going to be just fine. LISTEN!!! to your doctors for they know what is best. I too am a smaller woman, not quiet as small as you though. I was 38 yrs old, 5"1" and 108 when I got pregnant. I am an athlete and gained almost 40 lbs. I now am about btwn 108-115. My son will be 2 this week and is very active and healthy thank the Lord. I did have to have a c-section. But that was b/c I was not dilating (maybe due to age too?) My scar is almost completely gone. Take as many child care classes as you can. They are VERY helpful. I took a few and wish I had taken more and I work with preschool children. Don't forget to eat healthy foods! You are young and small so don't worry too much about your weight. A average pregnant woman needs an extra 500 calories a day. ALWAYS check with your doctor. Check out support groups and Mom groups in your area. NJ has so many and they are really helpful. Make this your full time job, you have a beautiful baby on the way. CONGRATULATION!!! I will be checking to see haw you are. My prayers are with you!!! You are never alone. God Bless, D.

Don't be scared. You are going to have the most wonderful baby ever. It is scarey.. but just think of what the outcome is going to be.. a beautiful baby. Ask for meds for the pain.... and you'll see, she or he will be worth it. Yes, you are small.. but the doctor will know what to do. Some women that are small push the baby out right away.. some have more problems.. but each person is different... and the dr. knows what to do. Talk to your dr. Ask him or her questions?? It's important to feel secure with your dr. Let him know that you are scared. He or she will talk to you and tell you some things to expect. Just think in a short time you'll be having a great little family. Take care and it will be ok!!

HEY YOU WILL BE OK!!! Get into a birthing class and ask if your size will change anything. You sound very petite and your OB should be keeping an eye on things. The baby may have to be born by C-section if the doctor thinks the baby is big and your small but that can happen regardless of your size. My friend is 5'4" and had a 10lb baby NATURALLY! Also get your fiance to go with you to birthing class. Make sure you are eating healthy, taking your vitamins and seeing your OB regularly. Also do you have a friend that has had a baby? or even just a close friend for moral support? And whatever you do when people start telling you their birthing "horror" stories WALK AWAY!!!! There are lots of horror stories and LOTS of wonderful ones! Also depending how you feel there are GREAT DRUGS that may be an options.

My 1st baby was terifying but once she was here I couldn't believe I had just had her and how amazing and beautiful she was. My 2nd child was born and it still amazed me. Babies are a huge responsibility and an even bigger BLESSING!!! Don't worry but enjoy your pregnancy and all that it intails. Labor and Delivery is no picnic but is doable. It is also the shortest time in your childs life. Congratulations on a new life that will be awesome!!! A.

As such a young mom, you should definetly look for other moms in your area for advice (you can try meetup.com), as well as reading a lot (I liked "What to espect when you're expecting" but others prefer "The pregnancy bible" and other firends of mine liked "your pregnancy week by week"). Remember that you should be seeing your OB monthly and asking her any questions you have. I also liked babycenter.com for weekly updates on my pregnancy. If you eat healthy, avoid drugs and alcohol and smoke, and see your OB regularly, you will do fine. just remember that as far as weight gain goes, the general rule is "9 months on, 9 months off" (meaning what you gain over 9 months will take 9 months to loose, although women who exclusively breast feed their babies loose it faster). Also, your stomach still looks huge right after birth because your uterus (aka womb) takes 4 to 6 weeks to return to normal size, plus the extra water and fat your body is holding onto. Good luck with the pregnancy!!

Hello Lacey: I too was young (21) at delivery of our first of four children born. My starting weight was 97 lbs and 5 ft 3 1/2 inches tall. I gained 28 pounds with our first child and my total labor was 4 1/2 hours! Very unusual for a first birth and the births following years later gradually became longer but only 7 1/2 hours for the longest. I did not have problems carrying the children and all went full term. I have a short torso so I was all baby. I listened to my body telling me when I was overdoing or alright. I know size matters where the pelvis/hips are concerned and for me this was fine. I'm sure your doctor could answer these questions for you. Don't hesitate to ask so that you do not have to worry throughout. Being scared is so very natural and normal. I was very much scared. We took lamaze a few times and it was extremely helpful to me. The more educated I was on the entire pregnancy and delivery process, the more confident I felt. God has created us so that women's bodies can and will successfully delivery a baby. Should problems ever arise, doctors are prepared for any scenario. Talking with peers, co-workers, friends, family or a support group may help relieve some fears. Your reaching out to mamasource is a positive resource and support from women who have experienced what you are questionning. Best Wishes and God Bless
Your beautiful baby will be worth all of it and then some. R.

Do not worry about this part. That is what I did and you do not know what will happen until the day, night... I had a very rough pregnancy, was in the hospital a lot. I should have lived there. So I assumed that my delivery would be hard and it wasn't. My water broke at 3am, I went to the hospital at 5 am and was dialted. Then I was on some medicine and waited around, comfortable until about 1pm and then started pushing and then she was born. Healthy and no problems. Try not to get all the horra stories, it will drive you crazy. This was my first pregnancy. I would say when they had to deliver the placenta, that was a little more painful. Other then that I was comfortable. Get all the drugs they offer you adn the epidural. Take care and hope all works out.

Dear Lacey,

I can't really relate to the size because I am more of a medium frame, however I can relate to being nervous. Trust me it is normal to be scared. I had a husband, a mom who stayed with me the first week and was still nervous. One thing I can suggest is get into some type of birthing class so It will help you prepare emotionally for what is going to occur. Ask as many questions as you need from your doctor and maybe go to the library and read some books. As far as not having a mom we here at Mammasource can help you as much as you need just reach out you will be fine. Good luck to you and your fiance!!!

The first month of every one of my pregnancies(4)I was down to 98-100 pounds. I gained all my weight basically towards the end. I was induced three times and had epidurals for the first, second, and fourth child.

You should be fine. Just do what your doctor says and don't let anyone tell you you have to gain a million pounds.

Nanc

Lacey, CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR PREGNANCY AND THE BABY!!! I am sorry about you not having a mom or mother figure, but my mom had alzheimer's when I was pregnant, but I did have some women to talk to at church and groups for mothers and it's scary with the first pregnancy. Whether you have a mother or not, it's scary but it does help to have a mother...I think it would.
First of all, all questions you have, ask your OB GYN and if you don't have one, alot of women on MamaSource can tell you best one to go to if you tell us what town and state you're in. You will gain weight, but the dr will tell you best how much you should each month and it won't be any different with your size. Whether you're 100 lbs or 200lbs, labor won't be different, except that you keep active, walking and swimming is the best to keep you active and you'll need that when pushing comes when the baby is ready to come. That day is the best day after it's over because you'll have a beautiful face to look at as the result and it was all worth it.
I was wondering what state and town you're in because then you can go to MOMs group they have different places and my church has one. You don't haveto go to that church because alot of mothers go to the group and not to that church. It's great and get the support and answers to questions about pregnancy, labor and etc and it's great to fellowship especially after you have the baby to get the support you need. There's a Healthy Kids Program in my area and I can find out where it is in your area if you let us know where you live to help you out. They come to visit you biweekly before you have the precious baby and then come weekly after you have the baby and answer alot of questions and get you the the support you need by contacting places and get you the help you need. Also, there are health programs for your child if you need health insurance and for your baby and now you can get a low cost or no pay health insurance for you baby :) Great!! I AM THERE IF YOU NEED TO ASK QUESTIONS OR SEEK ANSWERS OR SOMEONE TO JUST TALK TO. I KNOW HOW HARD IT IS AND NEEDING GUIDANCE BUT JESUS CHRIST HAS BEEN THE GREATEST HELP IN GIVING ME THE SUPPORT AND ENCOURAGEMENT AND WISDOM WHAT TO DO EVERY STEP OF THE WAY. You're young nd Ill answer any question s you have and if you just want tot e-mail me personally, feel free and NO QUESTIONS ARE STUPID NOR DUMB THEY ARE ALL IMPORTANT AND NOW MATTER WHO YOU ARE!! May Jesus give you His Wisdom in what steps to take and what to do when you ask Him......I'll pray for you and your baby (and your fiance'). Jesus loves you more than you'll ever know no matter what! :)

hi - the thing i can say about labor is that it never goes as you expect! so, my advice would be to focus on what matters the most - getting this baby safely into the world! don't have too many expectations about what you want to happen.

this is also a time, that you have to be sure to speak up and ask for what you need. if you want a friend to visit you in the hospital, tell your friend ahead of time. if you want help when you bring the baby home, ask! the experience of giving birth for me was amazing, but, very overwhelming and emotional!! reach out and ask for support if you need it!!

congratulations!! i know you're going to do a great job!! love, debbie

Lacey,

I was 23 when I had my first child and was 105lbs. I only gained 15lbs. The dr. wanted me to gain more. I tried but it didn't happen. My son was 7lbs 11oz. I was in labor with him for 2 1/2 hours. Had him all natural. I just thought about just getting him out to see who he looked like. I wasn't thinking about the pain at all. When you are in labor just think about who your son or daughter will look like and you will be so excited and not scared.

I wish you all the best!

Hi Lacey~
Congradulations with your pregnancy. Don't worry about size or how much weight you gain. Babies are a blessing and being pregnant is a wonderful and magical time. Your body will go thru many changes and NOTHING

Hi Lacey, Congratulations. There is nothing wrong with your being tiny. If your doctor does not see a problem with delivery of your baby, then you are OK. Eat well and stay healthy. Read as much as you can about pregnancy and childbirth. The more you know the better prepared you will be. Our worst fear is the unknown. If you can, go to childbirth classes. Even if you do not go natural, learn the breathing. It helps so much with labor. Try not to be afraid. Pregnancy and childbirth are such a blessing. Not everyone can bear a child. I will pray for you. I was 20 years old when I had my first and I now have 5. All my (grown) children and their friends call me mom and I would be honoured if you would too. Best wishes, Grandma Mary