Excluding Someone from a Lunch Invitation

You could try a girl's luncheon and then say you had to bring your son at the last minute. That will only probably work once though--you are probably just gonna have to get your big-girl panties in and tell her the truth. It stinks, but I'm assuming you have a valid reason for leaving out grandpa and gramma deserves the truth.

I just wanted to edit my answer because I went and looked at your profile and see that the reason you don't want any contact with grandpa is that he is a repeat child molester! OMG---I am so glad you do not let your son have contact with this man. But seriously, why would you want him to have contact with gramma either?!? Even if she wasn't the abuser, the guy has messed with at least 6 kids in your family---she cannot be completely in the dark. She has to know about the past and in my opinion that makes her just as disgusting as him. She deserves no time with your son either. If I was you I would count my blessings that you found out about this and steer completely clear of this couple completely! This totally sickens me that this guy still has a family and a wife.....

is there a time of day he is busy or working? does he ever go out of town without her? i would try to find some kind of time where he CAN'T go. good luck, having boundaries with certain family members is tough, but necessary sometimes.

Time to clue her in on why, seriously.

Invite her to a shopping trip. Grandpa wouldn't want to come.

Why would you not want gramma to know this about him? Chances are, she already knows and has for sometime, which says alot about her character also. BUT, if she really does not know(highly doubtful), then she should be told. Wouldn't you want to know?

AMEN, to Annes response!!!

I personally don't think you can. Grandma and Grandpa are married and so if she is married to someone with terrible issues, not a whole lot you can do. My dad was a really awful figure in my life and my Nannie agreed to never reveal our address to him but because she was his mom, I couldn't see her much. But she did mail bday cards every year with a nice little check for me, christmas gifts always, and she called regularly when my dad was not around. I don't know if she ever really processed the whole situation but when faced with the option of no contact, or contact with ground rules, she chose the latter and I had a great relationship with her and still love her dearly to this day. I think you will have to have Grandma's agreement in this for it work very well. Good luck!!

Well, reading the other mothers comment about how your son's grandpa is a repeat child molester makes all the difference. You shouldn't have to feel "unsecure" in a sense about why you dont want your son around him. If it were me,I'd simply explain the truth. Any rational parent (since gramma was once a parent) would/should understand your concern about being around grandpa. Im sure that she would be doing the same thing and that is protecting your child, and thats what any good parent would do. Hope this helps give you the confidence to do what you need, or helps in any way!