Everything Is MINE?!

Just be consistent with whatever you choose to do. It will be worth it. And honestly, it won't take that long for the behavior to stop. One day, you will notice it won't be an issue anymore, and you will be thankful. Also, don't forget to choose the battles. Win the battles you choose, but everything doesn't have to be a battle chosen.

Keep sticking with time out. Changing that will only make things more difficult. As far as everything is mine game, here is something you can try. If he is with another child or even with you and your husband and say's mine, take what he thinks is his gently away and give to the other child or your husband and say; We need to share. You must do this everytime you catch him saying mine. If no one is there but you, still do the same routine between the two of you. Soon he will learn to share. Repetition is and important of teaching...
Sincerely,
LAM

C.,
I have three children, the youngest will be 3 in May. Yes, they have all went through this. I also have worked with toddlers for about 7 years. The trick is for you and dad to play with the child, games or activities, where you take turns, act a little like you are two (be possessive yourself with some of the pieces or your turn). This builds frustration tolerance, helps your child wait and cooperate with other people. You can also model how different things around the home belong to different family members. Telling the child "mommy's book", "daddy's papers" etc. You can begin to reason with the child why they can not have somethings. Ex, the boy will cry if you take his truck, it makes him sad, we don't have the money to buy...". You will have to adjust the explanations to the receptive language skill level of your child. Some things are the child's and they have a right to take claim to special items, food or their cup. Be careful not to get caught giving in everytime a tantrum starts- if the behavior is reinforced it will be repeated to get the same response. I have walked around stores with a crying or angry toddler. I always name their feelings - mad, sad etc and give hugs and comfort - careful not to reward the behavior I do not want to see repeated. Hope this is helpful.
Good luck,
V. E.

This is so typical of any child at this age and all you can do is tell him no, this is so and so's or if you are at the store and he says something is his that hasn't been paid for you tell him no, this is the store's toy or book or what ever it is. And so what if he throws a fit, anyone that has kids beyond this age knows what you are going though and anyone in their right mind knows you can't keep them happy 24/7 and fits will be thrown!!! I don't know how many times I've pushed my cart though Walmart with a screaming 21 month old because I wouldn't let him have something. I keep about my shopping and ignore him and eventually he stops. And I'm also the type of parent that will walk past you and your screaming toddler and smile all while shaking my head becuase I've been there done that or I know that you feel like you want to crawl under a rock and hide!! Hang in there, it will get better!!

~S.

I would like to recommend a book: "Shepherding a Child's Heart" by Tedd Tripp. It has been helpful to me and at least a dozen other moms that I know with kids of all ages. My son is 18mo. and my niece is 29mo. and the knowledge contained within has proven itself time and time again. I hope you check it out. K. D.

What helps me a lot is the book...Baby wise, Preschool Wise and Child Wise. The series goes up to teen years. As a fellow business owner (travel), you may not have time to read the book so below is a summary addressing your topice. However, I highly recommend reading the series.

At this stage, the preschool wise books talk about setting your child up to win. If you know it is near nap time but you gotta take him, make your trip brief. Even in the real world, I recognize my kids schedules and plan for them, be it near a meal time (with snack in the car) or near nap time (whatever I am doing I keep it short) or a group setting (if either of my kids are not feeling group play I respect that and they have to behave, no break downs we just simply cut the trip short. They have gotten the point).

The book also talks about our role in the tantrum. I have to be honest with myself, did i compromise on discipline or making a rule and not follow through earlier in the day. For example, my daughter had the worst break down in the store. But, as I recalled my day I compromised most the day or ignored behavior. So the tantrum manifested at the grocery store. The outburst you see started long before the outburst.

Finally, accroding to the babywise books teaching sharing starts in small settings. Try not to pressure him into sharing or if he feels something is his and it is not, time to remove him from the situation. Yes, that means you are on your toes when you are in a group setting.

However, in a very short time, my kids got the point that I was not going to react to their tantrums and that they would have less play time when they had a tantrum.

If you get a chance get the Babywise, Preschool wise, childwise series. The books have been a life saver.

A big THANK YOU to all the moms who responded to C.'s question. I'm benefitting from your experience and wisdom too. Some really good advice and research to look into here.

My 19 month old thinks the world revolves around him, and I guess he has good reason since he's the baby and gets the most attention. But he turns into a little screaming alien when he doesn't get his way, and sometimes I have NO IDEA what to do. He'll fall on the ground, kick and scream, and basically go berserk. I end up like a deer in the headlights thinking...what the heck do I do now? Throw a cookie at him? I know I need to read up on this, and I really appreciate the info.

Thanks!!

I know just what you're dealing with. My 2 yr old will be 3 in June and it has been a yr of mine, mine, and mine somemore. I know that's apart of their stages but just like with my two older children I have to stay consistant in letting him know that everything soed not belong to him. I can't let him think that he can have his way. Just try that. Be consistant with him. He will still do it probably, but it is not okay for him to make a scene; EVER!
You will know your limits.
Be blessed

This stage too shall pass. I have a 4 year old who still falls into that pattern sometimes. I would suggest to try and focus his attention on making others feel good about him sharing his things with them. Do some role play and ask him the question, well what is mine or what can I play with? Or wouldn't it make little Katie feel good if you share something of yours with her. You can also make it a point to take more than one thing with him whenever you are going somewhere so that he can "share with a friend" if he meets someone new or will be spending time with other children. Sometimes we get caught up with trying to fix what is not perfect about our children that we lose sight of other life's lessons that are opening up right in front of us. I hope this helps!

Something I started to do with my daughter was say please and thank you all the time. Even handing something to her like a bottle or cup I just kept saying, "say thank you?" until one day it became second nature to her. This all about at age 2 1/2 also. It can come easily but consistancy is the key. Also when he shows interest in something and is curious, ask him if he wants you to share then offer him the toy, snack, whatever. Ask him to share with you and give back the object then praise him and cover him with kisses and hugs. That way it becomes a game and he is being built up & encouraged.

If you use a time-out technique, use the same place or spot for it each time. In our house it's the closed door to the kitchen. I try to make it something that can be easily replicated in public. If it is driving you bonkers in a public place, don't be afraid to discipline him with time-out in public. He has to know that no matter what the situation or where you are, you will discipline him. Maybe everybody doesn't discipline the same way, but if it puts 2 minutes of space between you both and even if nothing else you are more able to be calm and cope with him, that in & of itself is a small victory. Prayer also helped a lot on those days when my daughter was just about nothin but driving me crazy.

This is not unusual behavior for a toddler. Hopefully this stage will not last very long. It is kind of hard to reason with a 2 yr old, but you could try. You could point out who things belong to and show examples of sharing. You could role play with him to show him the proper way to respond. Maybe with some real life examples he may sort of understand.

My site tells me you are in the Newberry area. If you live near by let me know. We have a MOPS group that is very helpful.

This too shall pass! You will survive. I did. My little ones are now 6 & 4.
(Sometimes they still say "MINE.")
Good luck,
A.