Even If You Aren't One- How Do You Make Yourself into a "Soccer Mom"

I stay home, and am right with you. I see the women who always look great and wonder what I'm doing wrong! :)

I struggle regularly with putting on something that looks nice. The other day all I did was shower and blow dry my hair and put on a new T-Shirt and my 6 year old asked me "where are you going Mom?" Apparently my at home wear leaves a bit to be desired if combed hair and a clean T-shirt equals "going out".

Ha!

I'll be watching the other answers.

J.

hahaha! I've wondered that myself.
I know women that always look like that but they never seem concerned about getting home to make dinner or do laundry either! (Maybe they do take out or make reservations?)
BUT it's probably somewhat about time management.
Also, I like when I have a few, no-brainer, "go-to" outfits clean & ready to go. That helps.
And the sneaker--that's a killer. lol

I thought about it... even got some decent shirts... but in the end it's too much work to look trendy or put together. I usually wind up putting on a tank top and jeans. If I'm leaving the house, I will spend 15 minutes pulling my hair back and slapping on some makup. If I need to 'dress up' I can, but every day? Nah, not worth the hassle. Why spend 30 minutes getting ready, when I can do it in half the time and spend the extra playing with my DD? I also have the same mindset for buying clothes... I can buy the $10.00 shirt instead of the $25.00, and that extra $15.00= new outfit for my DD! I like dressing her up more than I like dressing myself up, so it works out for me. :)

Love reading the responses so far.... I do not fit in at all with the people you describe, though I see them!! I am the mom who drops her kid off wearing sweatpants and a ponytail. If I was to get all dolled up, I would either have to lose even more sleep by getting up earlier, or sacrifice time with my daughter in the morning (and btw- I do know some moms who park their kids in front of the tv with cereal while they get all fancy). I do feel frumpy then, but wouldn't trade the time with my kid.

As far as style when I finally do get ready, I've decided my non-trendy look IS my style. Like you, the trendy shirts never look right on me. When I find a shirt I do like, I tend to buy it in many colors! I have a few basic shirts that are easy to dress up with a necklace and by wearing boots- heels or not.

You might consider going to one of the bigger dept stores and using their personal shopper service. I know here, they have them at Nordstrom or Macy's. And while I don't usually shop there a lot, I know they have good sales, and the shopper service is free. If you find a good person, you can let them know your budget and your style, they will work with what you want, not just what's popular. You might find something you like that you hadn't thought about.

I had my breakthrough when ruffled shirts were popular. I tried a few on and was practically giggling in the dressing room. I am not perky enough for ruffles!! That's when I realized though I'm not trendy, I do have my own style and it's fine for me.

Good luck with all of this! And how cool to be a chemist!

Alright, first of all, I am super jealous of you. You gave a great description of yourself, then got me thinking: wow, wish I knew this mom: smart, working her butt off, no time for herself, and she needs a little help.
I am by no means a soccer mom, but a stay at home mom, not really by choice, one who looks forward to get back into workforce one day.
Anyway, usually at home I am wearing gym pants. I like everything bootcut for my body type (no butt to speak off) so even my gym pants are bootcut. So I have a few of those that I wear with white, grey, black, or light blue long sleeve shirts. When I am out and about for a quick trip to the store, those are paired with my allstar sneakers (a few colors, yes, of course I have a pair of pink ones too).
For 'grab a cup of coffee' outings I have comfy chinos from banana republic. a few colors. they're casual enough for me to wear with flip flops, sandals or even allstars. Those are paired with light sweaters (BR again), or long/short shirts. Cardigan on top if weather asks for one.
I think chinos can go a long way. I wear stuff like that to church too except with heeled shoes.

Bottom line, SAHM's have more time to do it. Im not bashing them either, because I am one. But, dont think we dont envy you as well. I used to have a very successful business that I was very proud of. Its a great feeling knowing you can stand on your own two feet if need be and you have a great career. I wouldnt give up staying at home, because I cant imagine how hard it would be to juggle it all. Grass always seems greener on the other side though.

I just want to point out- I'm a soccer Mom but I work full time, so not all soccer Moms are pristine kept women.

Having said that- I feel your pain because I'm stretched so thin as it is. But there are a FEW things I do to feel pretty.

I splurge on a few cosmetic items to make myself feel good. A good spf moisturizer in the morning, a matte-foundation that soaks up oil. I put those and my makeup on in the car on the way to work or in the parking lot at work(only at red lights, judgies). I pluck my eyebrows, I wax my mustache (these take no time at all). I keep manicure tools in my purse and do that at my desk at work when I get a moment. I scope out sales/clearance for clothes for me (I never pay full price for my clothes). I do blow dry every morning but that doesn't take long. I shampoo the roots, not the ends, and I moisturize the ends, not the roots, with biosilk, and it makes my hair feel so soft.

Those are all a few quick tips, and it's about all I have time for. Hope that helps!

Funny, these stereotypes. Everyone has a different idea about what they must wear out of the house to look good, feel comfortable, or seem polished.

I think a lot of it matters what YOU are comfortable with. I'm a preschool teacher and like yourself, it just makes sense for me to dress down for my work. My program focuses on gardening and art and the seasonal world, so I dress for paint and dirt. Think jeans/cords, Keens, a classic tee and a hoodie or sweater. (I eschew the button-down's as well, unless wearing them over a tee and open, more like a jacket.)

What I like to do to 'dress myself up' is to wear a pair of nice earrings. They live in my ears, so I don't have to think about them. Putting my hair back in barrettes is a 'transition ritual' (instead of wearing it down), and necessary as my preschool is in my home. This separates my 'school' days from work days. My earrings and rings are my primary pieces of 'feel-good', because they all have some special, personal significance for me. Other than that, I try to keep the clothes tidy and in good shape.

I did just buy a handbag, too, that I'm looking forward to wearing out and about. Haven't had a 'pretty purse' since heaven knows when. I have a couple go-to sweaters for going out, and a nice pair of Dansko loafers too.

Overall, my style is very laid-back. I live in Portland, OR so I do see those more polished moms when I drop off my son for preschool, but in our town, there's a lot of room for what makes up 'personal style'. I think some people make a choice to get up early and get their hair and face made up. I'd prefer to sleep in, thanks. Plus, my skin is a little oily and doesn't wear makeup well, and after some attempts at trying to wear it, I just stick now to some loose powder (for evenings) and occasional lipstick. . Once I start teaching classes for parents, I'll probably dress up a bit more, otherwise, I love that I can have 'no style' to worry about. Thankfully, the 4 year olds in my group don't really care what I wear, so long as I'm dressed!:)

I am linking you to a blog that I think you will really like. I pagemarked the mom-on-the-go formulas for dressing. The premise is that if you have some capsule outfits you can always look great. I encourage you to look at these and to also spend some time on this blog and this forum. you will find advice for real women (not the usual young focused fashion blog) on everything from dressing for your body shape to the essential elements of a wardrobe. I would even ask your question there. I know that they have some scientists that are regulars who could help you for work ideas.

http://youlookfab.com/category/mom-on-the-go/

OMG you read my mind. I ended up cutting my after I had the kid into the posh spice cut and love it..I never have to "DO" my hair.
Clothes...for work, honestly I hate my job so I dont care.I dress the code which is business dress (not formal) so I usually am sporting black slacks and button down shirts from New York and Company.
weekends, I am with you. but 9 times out of 10 I am doing some house project so i dont have time to 'look' the part you know? I dont know how all those pretty women do it. I have asked a few of them and they say "oh geez I got ready in like 5 mins"..Im like liar!!!! I think those ladies just take more time or have more support so they have time to shop.
Generally I buy clothes that I see on the dummys at the store that look nice on..or if i see a girl on the street dressing nice I take a mental note to buy things.
Alot of times I hear women saying "its not about the clothes" its how you accessorize (the purse, the necklace, bracelets etc)...but that is too much for me to think about...switching purses?? R U crazy?

Let me know when you figure it out. I pull on jeans (NOT "mom" jeans, though) and a shirt. Sometimes it's a Tshirt. Sometimes it's a polo. Sometimes it's a button down. I usually feel better if I wear a shoe that is NOT a sneaker.
I am not the fashion trend setter type, though...so maybe you don't want to do what I do... lol
;)

A few things can really spruce up even the most basic khakis and white shirt. Jewelry, a good bag and shoes.

So if you have on your pants and shirt, put on a cute pair of ballet flats - something cute - add some color - red or gold or perhaps some sequins. It's a great starting place and oh so easy. And you don't have to spend a lot. Kohls has great ballet flats for under $20 and so does target.

As for A bag - get a large-ish bag in black - it will always work. Don't speand a fortune - Marshalls/TJ Maxx has some great ones.

Then, add a watch, and some large/long beads.

You'll look so stylish and put together. And it won't cost you a fortune.

When you shop, try to get two very different pairs of flats. Or some cute sandals. Buy two or three necklaces. One gold, one color. Buy some bangles - they are so in right now.

Also, does your town have one of those little boutiques that isn't too expensive - go there for super trendy items.

A little powder and lip gloss go a long way!

Good luck!!

It is a habit for me. I am more productive and feel better about myself when I am put together.

I work from home but I jump in the shower as soon as I get up daily and I have a routine. I can shower and be ready to walk out the door in 40 minutes. I do my hair which is very simple... long and straight as a board naturally, makeup (not over done), cute capri's, skinny jeans, skirt or little dress and ready to go.

I don't wear some of the trendy shirts... I have a hard time finding shirts for me. I have naturally perky 34DD's and I am a size 2 with tiny waist. SO, I go for accenting my small waist with more fitted clothing vs the baggier styles or princess cut where even a size 2 has enough material to work for a maternity dress.

Go to a makeup counter (Clinique is my favorite) and get some tips on things you can do to accent your great points on your face. Shop trendy stores and get ideas from the sales people. I tend to shop a little boutiques vs the traditional Dept store.

No, I don't have a maid and I don't have the fake nails or do regular mani/pedis.

Sometimes we all get in a rut and just need to spice things up a bit with new makeup or a couple new pieces of clothing!

Good luck

Have you ever watched that show "What Not to Wear?" I'm not trying to be funny, but they give some awesome tips for every body type under the sun! I'm a huuuuuge cute jeans fan but it took me forever to find the right style/brand that looks good for my figure type. And I actually figured it out from that show. Also, this site is great:
http://www.zafu.com/

I'm no soccer mom, but I've got my routine down after years of trial and error. It just takes practice -- after you know what looks good on you (styles, cuts, colors, etc.)

You sound just like me! I was in the same hair situation so i just cut it all off! That forced me to fix it every day, haha!! Don't worry about buying the trendy clothes, buy what looks good on you and what you like to wear. And trust me, those "perfect" women are looking at your life wishing they had it, and the confidence to step out of the house less than made up. Trust me.

You are a chemist, you have to dress for the job and it would seem crazy to get all dolled up when there is a great chance things will get ruined. Polytail in a lab....pretty uniform for the thousands of labs I have called on (maybe a new cut?). No reason you can't do some easy makeup to jazz it up a bit if you want then have some other cute clothes to make you feel a bit more special when the weekend rolls around

I feel ya!
My friend said I always look put together for being a mom, even though I feel like a mess 24/7. I am about the same size as you, 5'8'', 155 on a good day.
I have a few nice shirts that fit me well that I can dress down with jeans or leggings, or I can dress up with pants or heels. I think that is my secret haha. I actually got a lot from H&M that I can do that with and I always feel prettier wearing them.
Makeup... Whenever I leave I put on mascara and chapstick! For some reason, having mascara on makes me feel better about myself.

This is how I see it-
make yourself feel prettier, and you will automatically look prettier.

Sorry, can't help ya. I'm a SAHM, wife of a husband who DOES NOT make 6 figs (and is currently deployed), and am still wearing some T-shirts from 10 years ago (or more...if you ask my husband! LOL). Jeans, T-shirt, find socks that don't have a hole in it, sneakers or boots in winter, dab of make up so I don't look QUITE as tired as I am...yes...he thinks I'm pretty frumpy...but so be it. I'm at my goal weight, but quite soft (no chance to go to a gym!) and wouldn't be caught dead in "yoga pants" because there are dimples on the wrong cheeks! LOL
Someday...someday I'll look better, but right now, I'm out of the "spotlight" and I'm fine with that! =0)

Oh, honey! I get it!
You mentioned a sister that manages to pull it off. Is she someone you could ask to go shopping with you? Try tackling one thing at a time: hair or clothes (sorry -- unless it's just lipstick, I pretty much skip the make-up part). Don't know about you, but I can't manage more than one major change at a time!

Have fun. Go for a step up -- not a total makeover all at once. Little at a time might be easier to integrate and maintain.

when i find what works for my body I buy more like it so I have lots of similar shirts and similar jeans (TJ Max and Ross's and Marshals)
I get my hair highlighted about three times a year which really helps it look better, Cant find the time to go more often!

Same problem here. I figure someday I'll go shopping again... But for some casual classics, online places like Lands End are actually good. There are some basics that at least look presentable. And you can just shop online so it's not as time consuming. Like someone else said, if you do find a good shirt or sweater, buy a couple in different colors. Highlights definitely help hair look better but yes, it's time consuming and not cheap. Otherwise, instead of a ponytail, maybe a nice clip up? Also, jewlery really spices things up. I learned from a friend that a plain shirt with a long, nice necklace looks so much better than just the plain shirt. I found some inexpensive stuff at Macy's and I automatically feel more put together if I put on some jewlery.

since you're in StL, you have lots of options!

Instead of going for the polished look: create your "own" look by using funky, trendy, artsy accessories. You can still wear your jeans & khakis...& your white T.....just add a funky necklace, scarf, an armful of bracelets, etc !

That way you have your own personal comfort level +++ some pizazz!

Hit your sis up for some shopping fun...or throw the task in your best friend's lap. I love helping my best friend....& last summer, I got my Mom to try on a whole bunch of stuff she would have never, ever tried! & she liked the clothes to boot!

If you really think you need help, feel free to contact me. My niece lives in STL & has excellent fashion skills. She has a degree in Biology & is working toward her Masters in Education. She is stunningly beautiful in all of her design choices....& lives for TJMaxx so she can function within her nonexistent budget! She's taught all of us that it's about the accessories. A very smart lady! Good Luck & make it fun.

Oh, hey, as for that hair: forget straightening it! Let it go natural, use that ponytail to it's best advantage, tie a scarf on it! & when your hormones are settled down.....seek the advice of a stylist to find a new design for you.

Curious to see the responses to this question. I too feel like I never have the right thing to wear. Look at magazines and if you have a close friend ask her to help you. Also, I'm sure there is someone out there willing to help you. A funny little story; my child was sick the night before and we ran to the dr early in the morning. I washed my face, combed my hair, applied some lip gloss and threw something on. Then, I had to stop for a prescription it was 10 am. I see this lady, all make up on, her bedazzled trendy jeans, rhinestone sandals and a black lacey top (underneath a white long sleeve tee shirt). She looked cute! I'm like, but it's 10 am. I wanted to ask her, how do you do it and/or where are you going today? I just wouldn't have thought to wear black lace all day and would have felt funny, but I thought it looked great. My point is...I know what you mean. I think some ladies just have style and maybe we need to try it! Good Luck.........

My method is to figure out what styles I feel special/look good in and look for that when I go shopping. For instance, I LOVE how I look and feel in cowl-neck tops. I have a non-existant chest (34A) and I always feel great in cowl-necks, so I have several (long-sleeve, short-sleeve, big-cowl, small-cowl, dressy, casual). That's not ALL I wear, but I probably wear one each week.

So find a style that you feel good in, and look for that. Another great thing about cowls is that a lot of the ones I have can be worn with jeans, slacks or a skirt. So try wearing a little dressier top with a pair of jeans--that's a good way to look nice on a casual day. Good luck!