Ok what type of basic manners do you teach your kids? Obviously please and thank you. I have taught my kids to shake the adults hand. Say thank you for having me over.
2. I said you can always ask for a drink of water. If something else is offered that's fine. I wouldn't want my kids asking for a glass of milk or orange juice at someone house...these can get expensive. My kids can drink those drinks at my house.
3. With the exception of close relatives I think its rude to open someone fridge.
4. Include younger siblings if the friend has younger siblings
5. We only eat in our kitchen
6. Be kind . Treat others the way you want to be treated
I like what everyone added
No slamming doors.
So many of my kids' friends slam doors. All doors. All the time. Sometimes if a kid is staying over they will get up in the middle of the night to use the bathroom and *slam* goes the bathroom door behind them. These are not little kids being enthusiastic, they simply have never been taught how to close a door properly.
Yes/no ma'am, yes/no sir.
Proper way to use "excuse me".
Hold the door for others following or coming towards the door.
Look people in the eyes when they speak to you.
Allow the adults to go first.
Do not interrupt grown-ups who are speaking with each other or on their phones, unless there is an emergency.
Phone manners when they call and when they accept a call.
During a meal we do not say "this is yucky". We say no thank you. No ugly faces.
Inside voices.
We NEVER run inside, unless it is a gymnasium.
If it does not belong to us, we look with our eyes, not with our hands. Unless you are given permission to touch, play with items that do not belong to us.
Please, thank you, may I? Always ask permission before eating at someone else's home (this is extra important in her friend's kosher home - wouldn't want the wrong plates used on the wrong food). We eat in our kitchen and dining room. We do not use electronics at the table. We do not shovel our food and we use utensils to the best of our ability. Wait your turn. No talking in church. No saying "ew, yuck" to a new food. You say "No thank you" and if you put it in your mouth, you chew and swallow and take a drink. Excuse me. Pardon me. Address adults as Mr./Ms./Mrs. until told otherwise. (Though at her age "Mrs. Friend's Mom" is still an appropriate attempt.)
Etc. Whatever polite mannerism the child needs to learn.
Etiquette is different for many people. What some consider "normal" others consider obligatory.
Opening doors for ladies and other people.
Yes, Ma'am.
Yes, Sir.
Yes, please.
No, Ma'am
No, Sir.
No, thank you.
Please
Thank you.
May I please be excused?
Thank you for the meal...
Allowed to defend yourself - don't start the fight.
Do unto others as you would have done unto to you.
Say grace before a meal.
Look at people eyes when talking with them.
Firm handshake - looking into their eyes - not away. Since we've been in several countries around the world, we've taught our boys to pay attention to cues received from people.
Don't interrupt people.
There is so much more. We consider these things NORMAL actions - not just etiquette.
I like your list. I don't know how old your children are; would they understand such a general statement as, "Treat others the way you want to be treated"? You might have to deal in more specifics there.
Here are some other ideas: Speak clearly to people and look at them as you speak. If you're not accustomed to saying, "Yes, ma'am" and "Yes, sir," then you say, "Yes, Mrs. Brown" and "No, Dr. Jones" (which is the Northern version of the same thing). Follow the house rules of the house where you are - they may be different from the rules your own house. Expanding on your fridge rule, don't look into fridges, closets, cupboards, cabinets, and private rooms unless you have been given permission. And a vital bit of etiquette and human relations: Smile!
I like the list thus far that people have shared but “lead by example” tops our list. Would you like it if……………??
For our DS it’s ladies first, hold the door ect
For all it’s be respectful
I will say though that you have to be careful with “Look people in the eyes when they speak to you” because this may not be culturally appropriate.
I swear the longer I live, the more the 'norm' seems to not be normal. I have a co-worker from NYC, she hates people who smile at her if she does not know them! Huh? I'm from Texas and a warm smile is standard ice breaking!
I taught my son that a smile and a Good Morning was standard practice!
I'm so ready to retire to the norms of my own home and methods of life!
Boy, I wish you could get ahold of my neighbor's kids...they break every rule in the book!
My son & his friends remove their shoes when they enter someone else's house. I appreciate that.
Phone manners.
ALWAYS say thanks. And please.
Respect those who are differently abled.
Don't ask for food/drinks/etc. Wait to be asked.
Offer guests refreshments and share equally.
