Epidural First Time, Second Time, Not Sure?

Updated on March 21, 2013
B.W. asks from Lexington Park, MD
28 answers

Morning all! I was curious as to whether some of you could comment on having an epidural the first time and then not having one for following pregnancies. I am due in July with #2 and want to go as long as possible (hopefully through the whole process) without an epidural. During the first birth, I couldn't feel anything when it came time to push. I actually looked at my husband and asked, “Am I pushing?" I didn't like that. I didn't have any after effects like not being able to walk for hours afterward so that isn't a concern. I was just curious as to how it went from being in the world of epidurals to not having one. Thanks and Happy Wednesday!

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J.H.

answers from San Antonio on

I had epidurals for my first two. My last two pregnancies I went completely natural. (The third I had in a birth center. The fourth I had at home.)

It didn't bother me at all. I actually enjoyed the experience much more when I had more control over everything.

With my second one, I had every intention of not having an epidural, however they wouldn't let me walk or change positions a whole lot, so I was in way more pain.

That's just my experience though. Everyone is different. Only you know your pain tolerance and if you can handle it.

*hugs*

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P.N.

answers from Denver on

First baby-epidural at 4 cm, felt nothing.
2nd baby-epidural upon induction, literally felt NOTHING the entire time.
3rd baby-held out as long as I could, but had no intention of NOT having an epidural (well, maybe a wistful thought about it...), and had one at 8 cm when I couldn't bear the pain. Felt nothing!
4th baby-Again held out for as long as possible (maybe could go natural, I thought?) but had not prepared mentally for actually having no drugs-got an epidural at 9 cm-felt nothing!
5th baby-THIS TIME, I decided I could do it, but I needed to prepare for it. I read books, and got some meditative music loaded on my ipod. I imagined the birth a thousand times, imagined it drug-free EACH of those times, and had my mind made up that I could DO this! I asked my husband to really prepare to be my coach, and asked my best friend to be there too. Mind you, I didn't decide any of this until 28 weeks along, and made the switch from OB to midwife at 30 weeks! When the time came, I didn't think about it; I just did it. Never once did the thought of an epidural cross my mind. It hurt; it hurt a lot. I believe the first words out of my mouth after my precious son was placed on my chest were, "Well THAT sucked!" But, my recovery was remarkable. I had stitches EACH time I gave birth (incl this time), but healed so much faster this time. My son was SO much more alert than any of the other kids.

Couple of things to consider:
1. Your body really will produce endorphins that help with the pain. The side effect of this, for me, was about 15 minutes of complete fog after the baby was born. I really remember nothing of the "moment" of birth; I was so "out of it" or really "in my own world", which is a result of your body dealing with the pain. I remember the other 4 births so clearly, and this one, not so much. It makes me a little sad to not have those glorious "first eye contact" memories.
2. Don't let ANYONE make you push before you say its time. My midwife miscalculated how close I was, and had me attempting to push through a little cervical "lip", as she called it. NOT a good idea. Those were the worst 15 minutes of the entire labor and delivery. I wasn't having an urge to push then, but she made me push with every contraction. I was too new at this, and too dependent on her expertise to know to tell her "no". I should have listened to my body. When the urge to push came, it was unmistakeable, and son was born after 3 pushes like this.

Good luck! I am so glad I experienced a drug-free birth! Would I do it again? Hard to say; maybe? It was very painful; but I learned ALOT from that experience and would be able to make slight adjustments to the next birth to make it even better. So, yeah, I'd do it again. The recovery was truly remarkably better.

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M.O.

answers from New York on

I haven't the exact situation you're talking about, but with my one and only child, I did completely natural childbirth. And, it was one of the more amazing experiences of my life. I always tell people, "It's like running a marathon or writing a book or a dissertation or something. While you're doing it, there are times when you say, 'Why I am I doing this? This was a *terrible* idea.' And then, for the REST of your life, you say 'I'm so glad I did that. That was the best decision I ever made.'"

My experience was also, Yeah, it hurt, but through the whole thing, there were only a few minutes of borderline-intolerable pain. The pushing part was actually fantastic -- it was a pain-free endorphin rush.

And if this is your second child, the labor will be a lot quicker than with your first. So if you have to do one epidural, one not, you're doing things in the right order.

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T.V.

answers from Austin on

I had both my kids natural and it wasn't horrible. My contractions were in my back so as long as my mom or husband rubbed my back it was tolerable. It felt like the worst cramps in the world. I look back at the experience and I would not change a thing. I heard that anything you take during the delivery can make the baby tired and make it to where they don't want to eat. I'm not sure how true that is but if it is I'm not sure it would be worth it to me. When my kids were born they were very hungry and started breast beading before the cord was even cut. They both gained weight in the hospital. I believe in doing everything as natural as possible. After all the pain of child birth is only temporary and the memories are a lifetime. Good luck and as long as you do what your heart tells you you can't go wrong.

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D..

answers from Miami on

You don't have to have THAT much epideral medicine. They can give you less. What I found was that if it at least covered my stomach, I could get through it. My second child was face up (OP) and as a result, I had back labor. I can tell you that I wouldn't have given up that epidural easily. As it was, my blood pressure was a real problem, so I didn't have nearly the amount of meds in that epidural as I would have liked to have had, and they had to watch me very closely. I also needed oxygen. It was a scary time for me. But the pain wasn't excrutiating because I did have SOME epidural.

God bless you if you can do it natural. I could not stand the idea of that at all.

Dawn

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C.M.

answers from St. Louis on

I had an epidural with the first and threw up, had a hard time feeling where I was pushing, face was so swollen/bruised afterwards (guessing I was pushing with my eyes/face/neck instead of 'down there'). Also had a few hours of not feeling/walking.

2nd time around from the first contraction until he was born was 2 hours and 18 minutes. I had him 18 minutes after getting to the hospital! I labored at home for an hour and then we went to the hospital when they were 3-4 minutes apart. Dropped our daughter off at her grandparents and parked, walked to the maternity ward (in hindsight I would get a wheelchair next time!) and was put in a room and started pushing (couldn't help it), they told me to stop, etc, felt very close contractions, etc - was screaming for someone to help me because hubby and I were alone! They checked me and I was ready to push. Talk about all h*ll breaking lose! Two pushes and he was out. So needless to say, I did not have TIME for an epidural!! I would do it like that in a heartbeat!! Sure it hurt like the dickens...I felt like a mack truck was running through my front and back areas...for less than a minute. Then he was out and it was done. I did get 1 stitch but the needle to numb me did not hurt at all. I was up and showered withiin an hour of him being born and walked to my other room. Natural IS best...but if I had to endure those contracttions/pushing for more than what I did already, I'm gonig to get an epidural this time around for sure!

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M.H.

answers from Chicago on

My girlfriend did it.. You can do anything you put your mind to.

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P.K.

answers from New York on

Had four kids without. Was never interested in any kind of pain meds and did fine. Give it a tey, if you cannot do it, get the epi.

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T.W.

answers from Syracuse on

I had an epidural with my first and went natural with my second. My first was born post posterior and I had just stalled at 8 cm, they gave me an epidural and pitocin and he was born hours later. It was hard knowing if I was actually pushing all that hard because I couldn't feel it. I also ended up with a spinal headache from the epidural which sucked.

With my second, I just decided to do it without the epidural. The pain from the contractions never really got worse, just longer as I progressed. It hurt the most when finally pushing him out, but it was quick! You can do it. If I ever had a third, I would go the natural route again. I felt great afterwards!

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E.M.

answers from Phoenix on

I had an epidural with my first and ended up with a c-section, so a bit of a different scenario. I went totally pain med-free with my second. It was incredible, I wouldn't trade it for anything! I was able to get up and walk to the bathroom about an hour after giving birth. I had some MAJOR stitches following the delivery and I barely felt anything I was on such an endorphin rush. Labor was hard, but I was able to move around, be in the shower, on a ball, standing up, moving around to make myself as comfortable as possible. I also used 6 different pushing positions to work that 9lb 2.5oz bundle through my pelvis. Not sure if it would have happened with an epidural and restricted movement.

I just wanted to tell you that I did it and I am NOT brave and I do not have a high pain tolerance. I run for meds with a headache. If I was able to work through the intense labor (including pitocin for the first 5 hours), you can absolutely do it.

I highly, highly recommend setting yourself up for success by going to birthing classes (Bradley method is great, you can take what you want and ignore whatever you don't agree with), writing a birth plan, finding a supportive caregiver, and hiring a doula. Without the support of my husband and doula I know I would have "caved" during the "I QUIT" phase of transitional labor and demanded an epidural. They refocused me on one contraction at a time.

ETA- The common thread for women who did not enjoy giving birth naturally is a lack of preparation- if you think you are getting an epidural or going to the hospital and wind up going too fast and having a natural birth without choosing it, you are much more likely to be upset about the experience (though many moms are very happy about it in retrospect :) ). I went into my first KNOWING that I would have an epidural, I am sure that a fast, hard. pain-med free delivery that I was not expecting, wanting, or prepared for would have been very traumatic for me. Very, very few moms who plan on a natural birth, prepare for a natural birth, and achieve a natural birth have anything bad to say about it. I think that says something both for natural birth and preparation!

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K.C.

answers from Norfolk on

I had the exact same experience with my first and hated not being able to even feel the pushing.

My second came hard and fast. My water broke at home, contractions were 5 minutes apart almost immediately and he was born less than three hours later. I didn't have time for an epidural. They didn't even get an IV in and I gave birth in my t-shirt. I pushed about 5 times and out he came. It was awesome! I got up and used the bathroom within 30 minutes and had an unbelievable high that lasted for days. As hard and crazy as the pain was, it was so very worth it in the end. Even my husband noticed a remarkable difference in recovery time.

Based on my own experience, I would highly recommend trying to go natural the second time around. Your body already knows what to do and generally it is a quicker process. I would definitely recommend lamaze or some type of class to help you through the birthing process. And having a doula or midwife who knows a lot of the pain management techniques as well as how to keep things moving would be a great addition.

Good luck!

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V.T.

answers from Washington DC on

I don't remember what it's called, but there was an IV drug option instead of the epidural. It's not as strong as the epidural, but it will probably take the edge off without having you lose feeling. However, if you feel that you can go the distance without any medicine, go for it.

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T.K.

answers from Decatur on

I had an epidural with my first and ended up having a spinal headache. That was awful! With my second I planned to have another epidural and if I got another spinal headache at least I would know what was going on and get it taken care of sooner. But my second child came so quickly - I delivered him 3 1/2 hours after my water broke - that I didn't have time for an epidural. Which turned out to be a blessing in disguise!!! My experience without the epidural was soooo much better!! I felt great after having him - and he was 9 pounds 13 ounces!!! If I were to have another baby I wouldn't do the epidural - I was able to tell when I needed to push and it was just an all around better experience. Good luck with your decision and congrats on the baby!!!

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S.F.

answers from Utica on

I had a 20 hr labour with my first and wanted to avoid having an epidural for the fear of rge IV but I caved at 9 cms LOL. Anyway with my second I was so worried again of having to get one because I might not be able to handle the pain. Lets just say that if I didnt so close to the hospital that I would have had my second right here at home. I thought I would be lucky if I got away with maybe a 10 hr labour but she came an hr after the first sign of labour - pushing and all so there was no time for an epidural

If I had to do it all over again I would def. NOT get the epidural

Good Luck and Congrats

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A.L.

answers from Chicago on

I had an epidural with both, but something happened the 2nd time and it did not work and it was overnight and the only anesthesiologist was in surgery, so they could not fix it until it was too late, so I had an epidural for about an hour and then I was on my own.

Now I do not have a high threshold for pain and it was awful. I had done Lamaze and breathing etc, none of that worked for me as the pain was so bad I just could not concentrate enough to do it. I was not breathing right so I would get dry mouth and drink water, well I drank too much and ended up getting sick to my stomach.

I so wish I had a good epidural the second time. I think it depends on your pain threshold. My sister did natural with 2 of her 3 and she preferred it to the epidural.

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H.L.

answers from Portland on

I had both natural with no drugs and with the second I did hypnobirthing. It was soooo much better. I highly recommend taking hypnobirthing classes. Honestly, it didn't really hurt that much. My husband and midwife were twiddling their thumbs (husband was playing his video game because I was in my own zone with headphones on). It totally works. I needed a little guidance at the pushing part to have my midwife assure me that all was going smoothly, but other than that, it was mostly mother/baby driven.

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A.B.

answers from Louisville on

I have had two epidurals and three natural births. In order of worst to best this is my experience.

Worst: The first epidural. Apparently, they can give you too much epidural. I couldn't feel anything from the waist down. My husband and the friend who was helping literally had to hold my legs and move them to help me push. I experienced back pain for a little over a year afterward that my doctor said was from the epidural relaxing my muscles too much. Don't know if that's true. It finally went away, and I've never had problems with it again, so I'm going to take her word for it.

Next worse: Giving birth naturally to my third. This wasn't as bad as the epidural experience, but I woke up from a dead sleep in labor and had the baby less than an hour later. I barely had time to get to the hospital (let alone get an epidural). When I got there, I didn't even have time to undress. It was extremely stressful, made more so by a borderline rude nursing staff and a completely unconcerned doctor. The only plus was that it was quick.

In the middle: Giving birth to my fourth with an epidural. This wasn't a bad birth experience overall. However, the birth of my third was so stressful, I had lingering anxiety that made my labor literally stop in its tracks. They were talking about inducing after it stalled, and I didn't want to do that. Given the choice between that and the epidural (which they said might help me relax), I went with the epidural. This is when I found out that it doesn't have to block everything. The anesthesiologist was extremely good and struck just the right balance between being able to feel what was happening while numbing the majority of the pain. It allowed me to relax enough for the contractions to begin again, and I didn't have to have pitocin (hooray!).

Second best: Giving birth to number five naturally. Ironically, the circumstances were almost the same as number three. I woke up in labor in the middle of the night; we rushed to the hospital. I can't remember changing clothes first, and the baby came almost immediately after our arrival. The only difference was that I had pretty much total control over my stress/anxiety. I confess, I asked for an epidural when we got there, but even when I asked for it, I was playing mind games with myself. I knew the baby would be there before they could even finish putting my IV in, but it made me feel (slightly) better to think there might be some relief sooner.

Best: Giving birth naturally to number two. I went into the hospital in the morning. They broke my water. I had an awesome nurse who was also a trained doula who stayed with me the entire time. She coached me through the whole thing, and it was over in just under two hours with zero stress, lots of support, and everything just as smooth as could be.

My feelings on the matter: a good epidural is better than a bad natural birth experience. A good natural birth experience is my preference (a doula may be a good step to get there). Best of luck to you!

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C.V.

answers from Columbia on

I had an epidural with both, and I'm happy I did.

I had an odd complication with my first epidural...I did not get sensation back to my right leg for 2 days. I explained this to my anesthesiologist and he took note. No problems the second time around.

I would explain to your anesthesiologist that you do not want to lose ALL sensation. They can work with the levels, or offer an intrathecal, which will wear off, instead of a complete block....so you can feel to push when the time comes, but not be miserable while you labor.

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L.O.

answers from Detroit on

yeah... i tried to be brave for my second childs birht..till the pain got so bad so fast I needed that epidural and fast.. unfortunely -- the dr had a hard time getting the epidural right..

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K.M.

answers from Kansas City on

It's mind over matter. Start convincing yourself now you don't need it. Stop asking other people because you will get hundreds of stories of why you should or shouldn't get one. "My sister's best friend didn't want one, but then...". It may be painful, but you will survive! (Important to Note: You will not receive a medal of honor for natural delivery.) Good Luck!

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A.N.

answers from Charlottesville on

I can't really answer your question, but I will tell you about my experiences. I tried to go natural for my first baby, but even with pitocin I just wasn't having contractions that were doing anything (my water had broken, but because there was no contractions, they gave me the pictocin to get things moving). I finally got to 4 cm after many hours, and they suggested the epidural would relax me. I caved and got it, and I was fully dilated just 30 minutes later. It was a good experience, so I just went with the epidural for my other two kids. I didn't have any problems related to getting the epidural for any of my kids.

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K.B.

answers from San Francisco on

With my first one I sucked it up for 59 ridiculous hours (I was so scared and stubborn to go natural) after that they gave me epidural and more pitocin and had my baby finally.
with my second one I was so scared of pain (I hadn't forgotten the first delivery 2 years prior) so as soon as I got to the hospital I told them to hook me up to the epidural, wow what a difference, I did not suffer and yes, I couldn't feel myself pushing but I was a much happier exhausted mother than the first time around.

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M.F.

answers from Phoenix on

I had one with my first after 6 hours of excruciating back labor before I even got to the hospital. My original birth plan was to go pain medication free. With my second, I wanted to try again for a drug-free birth, but my body had other ideas. I stalled, actually never progressed, after laboring in the hospital overnight. The epidural gave my body the break it needed so I could give birth. I had a hard time feeling myself push with my first, so because of that and that I needed the epidural not for pain, they kept it turned down low, so I felt more with my second. My birth plan remains the same as I carry my third-trying for a drug-free birth, but willing to be flexible and adjust so as to have a healthy baby in the least invasive way possible. We'll see how it goes! :-)

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S.B.

answers from Dallas on

I had the same experience with my first child. I couldn't even tell when he was born until the nurses told me to look. I simply couldn't feel a thing. For the second child, I simply discussed those concerns with the anesthesiologist. He gave me less meds (I am assuming). The second time, I could feel the urge to push, I knew I was pushing. I could feel most everything, but it wasn't painful. I had nothing to prove and wanted the medication, I just didn't want to be so dulled that I couldn't feel a thing.

L.M.

answers from Dover on

We with my first child I did not have an epidural. I had heard of, and actually knew a lady that had, complications that really scared me. The lady I knew was not able to walk for months!

There are 15 years between my two kids and I had since heard great things from lots of moms who had epidurals so I was all for it. Let me just tell you that it did not work for me...I felt the cramping, I felt every movement, I felt EVERYTHING. It was actually a harder delivery than I had with my son except I didn't have back labor like I did with my first. The nurse even said "What are you saying ooh about" and when I told her it hurt she said "You felt that? You weren't supposed to".

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R.D.

answers from Washington DC on

My first was an emergency c-section so it's not a fair comparison except that I did have an epidural and felt nothing during during the procedure. My second was all natural at the hospital and my third was all natural in the car while my husband was driving (Oops!). No doubt it hurts when no drugs are involved but I would describe it more as a very intense and overwhelming feeling. For my second the nurses were all commenting on how well I was able to push and I really think, like you mentioned, it's because I could feel the contractions and work with them in addition to constantly changing positions. I felt my 3rd birth was my best with zero medical anything (though not what we planned!). The instant my babies came out it was such a relief and the pain essentially just disappeared. I was sore after but that was fine. I didn't have to deal with a catheter which was nice.
Anyway-bottom line I would recommend prepping yourself (I read the hypno-birthing book and learned how to breath properly with contractions etc) and try for the natural. I also think midwives and doula's are wonderful and more geared toward helping women who want a natural birth if that is an option.

Congrats on #2!

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D.P.

answers from Minneapolis on

Talk to your doctor. I had the same experience and planned on waiting as long as possible with my second. My doctor said there is a way that they can monitor it so either you get it slower or not as strong...not sure how exactly it works but she said there was a way! Unfortunately I ended up with emergency C-Section so I really never got to test it :(

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S.S.

answers from Sacramento on

I did what you're talking about. If it's any indication of how it went without the epidural with my second child, I insisted on one for my third child. My best experience was with my third when they turned the epidural down for the pushing, and I could feel when I needed to push, but there wasn't any excruciating pain.

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