Sounds like my 3 year old. What works best for me, is telling her my agenda. Mommy has to cook the meat and cut the vegetables first, and then, I promise I will play with you. Why don't you draw me a picture, play puzzles, write your letters, watch "Clifford", etc. And then we will play Legos, okay? I promise.
If she hasn't seen you all day, she needs to connect with YOU, her best friend. My daughter hates rejection, and will go in her room, crying, "you hurt my feelings." I reassure her that I love her and explain my reason for rejecting her, again, and give lots of hugs and kisses. Then it's back to my chore.
Usually it works. I am a single Mom, living alone with an only child. If she has a tantrum, she is banished to her room and not allowed out until she apologizes for her bad behavior. She hates the separation from me, and that seems to work well for us.
Sometimes, I just say, "I AM THE BOSS" out loud, just to remind her (and myself) that a child shouldn't be running the household. Strong willed children need strong caregivers.
Let me know if this helps, okay?
T.