Endless Potty Training

From what I have read, the earlier you start, the longer it take. Boys may not be ready that young yet. Sorry must be frustrating, maybe take a step back and try in a month or two whe he shows more signs of being ready. They get just as frustrated as you and it is not good for his self esteem.

Hi K.,
Seems like a typical situation for a boy. I have an online potty training book if you would like it (or any one else who might need it). Just shoot me an email at ____@____.com and I will forward it to you.
Good luck!

This is just my opinion and my approach-I am sure you will get alot of responses on this one. I am the type of person who believes things happen for a reason and people/kids do things when they are ready not when you are ready or want them to do it. I have a girl who will be 4 on 11/30 and she started using the potty in May-YES older than what some want, but in my eyes not too old-and do I feel less of a mother because of her age-HECK NO-I am proud of myself. I did not push her-yes I asked-she said no and no it was-one day I asked her before we went swimming and she did it and from that moment on she used the potty w/only 2 accidents since then-she goes when she has to w/out me pushing. I am proud of her-the more you push the more they resist-just my approach and opinion-I never punished her or got mad-it makes it easier on them and you-just like the other post said-IT WAS STRESS FREE AND FRUSTRATION FREE! I will do the same w/ my sone who will be 3 in Feb. GOOD LUCK!!! L.:)

my daughter will be 2.5 soon & we've been through a similar, though not quite as bad, situation. We do have a newborn that has contributed to the regression, but I still stick to it. Glancing quickly through the other responses, I don't disagree with those saying he's not ready (probably same for ours- 6 months ago), but also think it's a bit late to turn back. I generally agree with what Sophie A said. It's gone smoothest for us when on a sort of schedule ("what do we do when we wake up/get ready for nap/leave the house/etc?"). Asking NEVER worked for us.

good luck good mama!

He's still on the young side -- I'd ease up a bit and let him go at his own pace. I understand there is a lot of pressure from other moms, and society in general - not to mention at a certain point us Mamas are feeling DONE with diapers! - to push kids to accomplish things younger, but I don't necessarily believe it is a good thing for the children most of the time.

READ Toilet Training in Less Than a Day, great book!

Don't rush the process. I've been told by my preschool teachers that 2.5 - 3 years is the "average" age that kids learn to potty train. You can't force it and they will let you know when THEY ARE READY, not when you are ready. I think you started too soon and even though you had 90% success in the beginning, your child was not ready. I've also heard boys take longer than girls so give it another 6 months or so.

Sounds exactly like us. My son had been pooping on the potty for months before he turned 2--i know it was really young especially for a boy, but it was so easy and my 2 boys before him were super easy and just as young, only it stuck with them! But for some reason after he hit 2 he just stopped. He'd pee his pants after i had just asked him to go try. He'd refuse to poop on the potty. I tried stickers, and a "chore chart" with a special category for his potty training. His own special undies etc. Nothing. So I got frustrated and sick of cleaning my carpet and cleaning pee off the floors so I went to not even trying, asking etc. figuring he was having a set back. So he wore diapers all summer and up until this month was wearing diapers 24/7. Then I got fed up with that, the poop is just the worst! So very reluctantly I resorted to M & M's. I am so anti candy, but with big brothers who just this year got into trick or treating, my 2 year old learned about candy earlier than I would have liked and so much earlier than his older brothers did. My MIL suggested the M & M's too, which made me even more reluctant! lol. Anyway, sadly....it is really doing the trick. I got a small gumball machine and filled it with M & M's, he gets to put the penny in and turn the dial. It is so exciting for him that he is going pee ALL the time. Sometimes too much! lol. I know it probably isnt what you want to hear, but maybe he too is experiencing a set back for some reason, or he just isnt ready. Try taking a break and coming back with some new sort of incentive. M & M's are small and really convenient. With my older boys pee was a cinch, poop was a bit harder to master so I actually made really healthy cookies we called "poop cookies" ;)(they were AWFUL but my boys LOVED them) I made them really small too. That was a huge incentive for them, they were poop trained by 2 1/2. So you could go that route if you didn't want to do candy. Good luck!

K.,

I think you'll hear the same story from lots of moms. Don't stress yourself over this, he's not ready to train. My friends did the same thing, thier kids hit 18 months and they made themselves crazy trying to toilet train. I wanted until I saw some interest on my son's part. No stress, no forcing the issues, no tears, no pull-ups. Both of my boys trained at about 3 1/2, and the process from diapers to potty took a weekend.

When we realized they were in fact ready to use the toilet, we got rid of the dipaers (expect for at night for a while), put them in regular underware and off we went. In the first 24 hours every time they had an accident, the boys got themselves undressed, put their soiled clothes in the washer, went to the drawers for dry clothes, got themselves dressed again and went back to their activities. We started on Friday morning and by Monday we were done. No stress, no worries.

When you stress and worry about the training process, the kids know, they can feel it and it makes it harder for them. You have not failed at the training issues, you've done it all right, he's just not old enough and not ready to do it. He will not go to school in diapers, I promise.

Pat yourself on the back, and know that the time will shortly come when he will be ready. Until then, give yourself a break.

G.

The natural age kids usually potty train is 3 years old. Certainly, some will be earlier, and some later. Sounds to me like you are stressing out both your child and yourself. Stop pushing, and I bet it happens rather easily in a few months. I bet you don't respond well when you are pushed too hard to do something. Sounds like your son is responding in a normal way. Slow down, ease off..........and mellow out.

We had the same thing with my now 4.5 year old son. I know you don't want to hear this, but he isn't ready. Put him back in diapers...it's cheaper than Pull Ups. Try again when he turns 3. No joke, the day my son turned 3 he was at preschool and he just "got it" on his own. He pooped on the potty at school and that was it. He still has pee accidents a couple of times a week at night (he's a heavy sleeper) and occasionally a pee accident because he gets too distracted and waits too long to go potty...but other than that he does great! Once he turned 4 I stopped asking him to go to the potty and he just goes on his own now.

On a funny note...my hubby and I always joked that our daughter who is 2.5 years old and my son would be fully potty trained at the same time :). My daughter decided the day she turned 28 months that she wanted to wear Big Girl Underwear. She had a few accidents everyday for about a week then that was it. I still have to remind her to go if she hasn't gone in a while, but I rarely have to remind her. I was totally stressing having to potty train her based on how long it took and how stressful it was to potty train my son. Girls are definitely easier to potty train.

So save yourself a few months of stress and money and put him back in diapers and don't give it another worry. Maybe in another month or two, take him to the store and have him pick out some Big Boy Underwear and tell that you will keep it in his drawer for when he is ready to go potty like a Big Boy. Leave it in a drawer that is low enough for him to see it on a daily basis.

What our preschool teacher said with boys is that they are more motivated to go when they see other kids their same age/height going to the potty versus girls are much more motivated by praise and one on one attention. Guess it's the whole male ego/competition thing at an early age. And she also said that boys tend to potty train later, especially if the boy is the oldest (first to potty train) in the family. Younger siblings tend to pick it up faster because they are used to seeing their older siblings go.

Anyhow, don't worry, your son will potty train before you know it. I know it seems like an eternity right now and it's very frustrating for you. But remember, he can sense your frustration, so imagine how frustrating it is on him.

He's not ready. Unless you have some kind of deadline (entry to preschool, maybe) I would not push it. Go shopping and let him pick out the most coolest awesome underwear ever. Then place the undies in his drawer and tell him that when he is ready to keep his underpants clean and dry, he can choose to wear them. Until then, go with diapers (not pull ups). Do not make this a judgmental or confrontational conversation, it is merely his choice to use the potty or not. One day in the future he will surprise you by changing his clothes on his own and using the potty!! He will be so proud of himself and you won't even have to bribe him. He may have a few accidents, but you will be amazed that he will want to do it on his own and it will happen very seamlessly.

Hi K.,
This sounds exactly like my daughter who turned 3 in Sept. Right before her b-day she really got the hang of using her potty and always telling us when she had to go. She rarely had any accidents. Now 2 months later it seems like she has gotten lazy and she will usually go in her pants whether its underwear or pull-ups. I've tried everything I can think of from reminding her all thoughout the day and offering rewards and it just seems like right now she doesn't care about it at all. I was getting very frustrated with the whole process. I think they just eventually get it all figured out on their own!

I just had a conversation with a pre-school teacher who is also a nurse and she said that boys tend to be potty-trained closer to 3... if you start earlier then you end up potty training for almost a full year before it clicks in their heads. So don't think it's something that you are or are not doing... it might be that he's just not ready. She said that the advent of disposable diapers and training pants are to blame. I don't know for myself... my son isn't 2 yet and we haven't even tried.

This is totally normal. My daughter kind of went back and forth too on her 'potty-progress'. Just keep at it, but don't push too hard.

Another thing is that you cannot "ask" a child if he has to go potty, you have to "tell" them "Ok, time to try potty now!" (In an enthusiastic way).

My pediatrician recommended a potty "schedule". For example; try potty first thing in the morning, after all meals, after nap, and right before going to bed (and any other time he says he needs to go of course). That way, he will come to expect it. He might fuss at first, but then he will come to accept it and think "ok, I just finished my lunch, I know I have to go try potty now". We didn't use this method, but it is one possible option if you think it'll work well for you! :)

Good luck! It takes time and patience, but it will happen ;)

People just try to potty train too early. You hear Moms boast about how early/how young their kids were when they were trained. I say, oh bologna! Before they are three is asking them to assume care of themself in a really big way. Just do the diapers until he has a dry diaper for several waking hours at a time and is dry in the morning, then urinates when he wakes up. Then you'll know that his body is ready and that's when you'll have good success.

You're lucky that he tells you when his pants are wet or dirty -- I have seen so many boys who just don't mind being soiled and carry on playing until it is discovered.

So many of my friends who started early potty training have experienced a return to diapers. I think in the beginning, it's a novelty -- a fun new game to them, but not a way of life yet. (Think about joining a gym for the first time -- you are inspired and excited in the beginning, but not long after it becomes a chore. It takes a whole other level of commitment to make it a routine.)

It's good you invested the time and energy to teach him what to do. Now he has the tools to work with when he is ready. For many children, the readiness to potty train permanently coincides with starting pre-school and seeing that all the other kids are doing it. If you know a slightly older or same-age child who is potty trained, you can have a play date that includes a little potty time. Children learn so naturally from one another.

message me your email and ill send you the 3 day potty training meathod. it didnt work for us for the fact my daughter resisted big time but it may help you :)

I know this isn't what you want and hopefully another suggestion will work for you, but just let it go. I was in the same situation. We started training our oldest at 2 also. He knew how, where and I am sure he knew when too! While he may have known all there is to know he wasn't going to share it with us. We would ask, and he say no, then I would be changing his clothes 5 minutes later. A friend told me to stop, and that when he was ready he would tell us. So we did, put him in pull-ups and went on. Some days the pull ups would last all day, other times we would change them 3-4 times. This went on until he was almost 5. One day he told me he didn't need pull ups anymore. We went to the store bought Star Wars underwear and that was the end of potty training. It caused me no end in frustration for the first few months we were trying. But once we let it go I think he felt better and I know we did. I do remember people telling me that boys will be trained when they are ready. I can't remember how many Moms told me not to worry he wouldn't go to college in diapers (OMG if I heard that one more time....). Take a deep breath, buy a new pack of pull ups and just hope that one day he will wake up and say, "mom I don't need those anymore!"

K., How great that you and your husband are working through this together! Having a home-based preschool, I have lots of experience with the toilet training adventure! I find it easiest when we naturally incorporate using the toilet into our day. Each time we wash our hands (before & after snack/lunch/nap), we try to potty in the toilet. This way, it is not me telling the child (the independence-seeking child) to do something; it is just part of our day. You can do this at home very easily. Before and after dinner, when he is changing into his jammies or getting dressed in the morning. At the beginning, it really is up to the parent to help the child be in the bathroom at the right time. With built-in times, it is easier to be successful. Another good habit to develop early on, is to use the bathroom before leaving the house. There is going to ocme a day when you don't want to put him in pull-ups & you have more than a 30 minute car ride. If you get him used to using the bathroom before leaving the house, it just becomes a natural action, and not a battle when you are trying to get out the door. If stickers have no meaning to him, stop using them. Keep your focus on using the bathroom as a natural thing we all do. Take a deep breath, you and your husband will help your son figure it out. Enjoy this time. Peace to you and your family. B.