Encouraging Constructive Activities Without Creating an Aversion to Them

Just turn off the TV/Wii and let him play. Yes, he will beg for his video games for a while, yes he will be bored for a bit.... but eventually his innate drive to play will kick in and he will play.
I have to say that nothing kills a child's ability to entertain themselves as TV or video games. I see it with DD, on some weekends when her Dad feels like just vegging out on the couch with the TV on, she is bored after a few hours and too distracted to play by herself, while on others, when we don't have the TV on she can play by herself for hours.
If you want to encourage him give him a big cardboard box and just leave him be.
Good luck

you are very wise to realize that over-structuring and enforcing 'creative' activities sucks all the juice right out of 'em. and i totally get your concern about him not doing more imaginative play.
wandering around shooting bad buys isn't bad. i remember games i thought were incredibly complex and absorbing when i was 5 that would seem bland and dull to an adult.
fortunately it's not your job to get it, not totally. your only job is to make sure he has the opportunity to flex his creative muscles, not to manage how he chooses to do so. limit the wii and tv time? that's a great start. but if you make him 'earn' the time by doing activities he doesn't like, you're not only squashing the creative impulse, but making that wii an irresistible holy grail. i'd limit the screen time period, no matter WHAT he chooses to do with that open time. be prepared for backlash, and endless moans of 'i'm bored!' boredom is good for children. they hate it and can't take it for long. they will inevitably fill that time with something, and if you have crayons or trees or books or legos (real ones) or goats or dirt or water or a kitchen or dogs or leaves or shovels or closets or dress-up clothes or board games or sticks or bricks or flowers or boxes, they'll use them.
you're doing fine, mama! give him lots of empty space and let HIM fill it up!
:) khairete
S.

The push for the under 7 crowd to write and read is what is killing education in this country. 5 year olds should be playing, and playing hard. There is no need for them to be able to write or read.

And you are absolutely right, if you push schooling, you will create resistance, frustration and then loathing of learning.

A recent study came out that linked reading ability to the neurology of the brain. Some kids aren't capable of reading till 7. The study supports a later approach to academics with young children.

BTW, playing superhero's is using his imagination.

Well, on the one hand I think play should be fun, so however he LIKES to play (assuming that it's safe and healthy) I would let him play.

I don't think you should make him earn play he enjoys by playing things that doesn't. That being said, perhaps you want to LIMIT his screen time just on general principal. With the extra time on his hands he may expand his interests and try something new with you.

Until then, meet him where he is. Get in on the super hero play and encourage creative and/or constructive elements. "Oh no Batman! What's that over there? I think the city is in trouble, what should be do?" Nothing big, just to take it a bit beyond shooting the furniture.

Leisure activities are very personal. Drawing, reading, writing, and crafts may not be his thing. If you have another child, maybe they'll be more into them. Sorry.

HTH
T.

Didn't read all of the answers, but I am with Mama Llama. He is doing other stuff with school and hanging out with a friend. If my daughter has a busy day, she needs her time to play what she likes (or we're all in trouble) - it's her way to unwind. I love the idea about the box - help him create a hideout or whatever out of a big box. You are not a bad mom, we all have our likes and our dislikes.

I say let him play too. You are a good mom for letting him do so. If you really want to do some more structured things with him, then work around what he already likes. Use blocks or decorate a cardboard box and make hide-outs or reconstruct the Batcave. Have him create a shooting gallery using found objects around the house. If you utilize what he already knows and likes, he won't notice you taking things a step further and will be more accepting of them. Most importantly? Have fun with him.

I didn't have a chance to read most of the other responses - but this is my take. He is already going to preschool and hanging out with a friend for hours most days - so he is getting good activities there. When he plays superheroes, it sounds like he is using his imagination - maybe he's not coming up with award-winning stories, but just coming up with the shooting bad guys is using his imagination.

I am not very crafty, but I do like the idea of doing crafts - so about twice a month we go to a local library storytime. They do a craft there - always very cute and creative and something I never would have thought of!

You sound like a great mom -- keep up the good work!

I think you cannot make him enjoy crafts/drawing/reading/writing etc. I was a child who loved to do that kind of thing. That was my thing! My brother not so much. He did like building things (like legos). My son (almost 8) is not really into crafts and drawing although he does enjoy reading. The books he loves are not what I would pick out for him. His teacher in 1st grade said to just encourage them to read whatever it is they like and not to worry about it. He loves those comic book style books...like Diary of a Wimpy Kid. At age 5/6 in Kindergarten he really liked Captain Underpants. Just a suggestion. Anyway..the things he loves to do are pretend he is a spy with his "spy gear" toys, play legos, or play with his "Trick Flicks", this tiny finger skateboards and ramps. I found that the only way he is interested in doing "art" with me is if he can draw little figures skateboarding. He likes to draw all the ramps and loop the loops, etc. The only craft he wants to do is take paper and tape and make tiny paper ramps for his little plastic skateboards. It seems this is ALL he wants to do when it comes to crafts.sigh. I can't wait for the day when he finally branches out! So, maybe there is some kind of craft that has to do with superheros that you can come up with. Make a felt cape, cut out and glue on felt symbols? (lightning bolt, stars, his initial)? Draw a superhero shooting bad guys? Little bullets shooting across the paper? Can you find a superhero board game? You know, my son did not get into board games until last year (1st grade), so I would not push it. Good luck mom!

I am going to focus on ideas for you to get your son interested in "branching out" without so much resistance.

1. Play-Doh..... When he's not there, make an impression of his favorite superhero action figures in the Play-Doh and see if he can match them up. Then, see if he can make a "friend" for his superhero or a citizen to save, from the Play Doh. You may be able to find a themed Play-Doh factory related to SuperHeroes.

2. Doodlepad.... My son has a magna doodle that has a superhero theme. That could help get your son interested in doodling.

3. Coloring books. Find superhero themed coloring books, or print out pages from doing a Google Image search. For instance.... "Spiderman coloring page"..

4. Get the kid some comic books and read them to him. Comic books present reading in a very different way that can no only "trick" a kid into getting interested in reading, but it is a different presentation which utilizes different pathways to get to the brain, which can bypass any difficulty he is having because he is young.

An anecdote: My son is four and Autistic. He is fairly obsessed with Wall-e, but had sensory aversions that made him HATE Play-Doh. One day, I fashioned a Wall-e out of play doh and let him play with it. Problem solved. His feeding therapy taught me about "food chaining" to get him to tolerate new foods and I applied that principle to his play activities. Basically, change one thing at a time, or if you find something he *really* likes, stick with it, but find a different way to present it.

Good luck.

Leave him be! I have three boys and all differed widely in their interest in doing sedentary, creative things. My middle boy - who so far looks to be the one with the highest academic aptitude - would NOT color, draw, paint or write voluntarily until halfway through 1st grade. I really thought he'd need OT. While my oldest loved Legos and Tinker Toys and elaborate race tracks, and my youngest loves puzzles and things like Magnetix, he wasn't interested in any of those things (and still isn't). Then halfway through 1st grade, he started drawing all the time. He only draws things like hockey players, but it's all day, every day. Turns out he's a bit of perfectionist and didn't enjoy drawing until he could make his hands create what his brain pictured. He's supposed to be getting ready for school now and I just had to take away his clipboard and pen because he's been drawing for a half hour. The only other "imaginative" play that my middle boy engages in his playing with is set of hockey guys. Hockey is his thing, and we let him indulge in that.

Let him take the lead - if superheroes are his thing, get some of the Imaginext things (like the Batcave) so that he has more props for creative play that you can engage in with him. Get the superhero Legos, the Star Wars memory game, etc. Meet him where he is. Some other alternatives to traditional crafts are Moon Sand and Play-Doh. My boys all like that more than traditional crafts - they're very tactile and you can sit at the table with him. Don't be surprised if all he makes are super heroes and weapons though.

One of the things I've learned from my sons is that it's important to value what they value and validate their interests. My oldest went through various phases of obsession - oversize construction vehicles, sharks, dinosaurs, disasters like The Titanic, baseball, hockey etc. - and I had to develop or feign interest in those things. He's now 13 and even now will occasionally say "you really weren't into dinosaurs? I thought you knew everything about them! We had all of those books and movies..." so it can make a big impression on them if you engage in their interests, no matter how boring, unimaginative and repetitive they are. To this day my oldest really thinks I can tell the difference between when he takes an "Ovechkin" shot vs. a "Chara" shot in hockey :-) As mentioned, my middle son is obsessed with hockey. My youngest, thankfully, it a bit less obsessive and has a wider variety of interests.

Don't feel bad - sounds like he has lots of enrichment and social time already in his day. If he spends his time from 3 to bedtime in superhero land, that's OK.

turn the tv off! With my daycare, the kids watch 1 show/day....& that's it. 30 minutes of tv time....& no more. Occasionally, with holidays or rainy days, we will extend that....but never back-to-back time slots. :)

With my younger son, he preferred hands-on activities. He loved decorating cardboard boxes to make a fort, a tent, etc. With the big boxes, I encouraged him to write on the walls. I would write letters/words & he would copy them. He loved using Playdoh to create monsters. So I used Playdoh to make letters....& eventually he began to mimic me.

I guess what I'm saying is: I always tried to model the behavior I wanted, even down to sitting & just coloring in a book. Then my son would want to join in!

1/2 of me agrees with the other posters...if he's doing preschool & has play time with a friend, then he should be ready for KG. You've touched upon the academics & social needs for his age group.

The other 1/2 of me would be looking for ways to encourage him to branch out into more activities. For me (& the kids thru the years), I always incorporate learning & lifeskills. For me, it's 2nd nature to want to learn & expand my knowledge base!

Try some "out of the box" methods for writing: spray shaving cream on the table & let him write in it. Put some applesauce on a plate & let him use a spoon to write. Bubbles on the shower walls.... Anything to get him thinking that learning can be fun! Good Luck!