Dear Mommas,
1. Yesterday at the park my 3 1/2 year old wanted to jump from a fairly high height by himself. I knew he could not do it without getting really hurt.
2. He is just now over the last month getting used to jumping well on his feet (versus his tushy :).
3. We go to a great gym class to work on his gross motor skills and actually jumping is a focus.
Question: how do I tell him in a way that will not discourage him... Let's do this together and soon you can do it on your own????
I want him to want to take risks. And i want those risks to be calculated. Does that make sense? I do not want to put out his motivational flame for expanding his motor skills but I do not want for him to do something intentionally that will end up being more than a minor bump or bruise.
What words would you use?
Thank you.
Jilly
"Not yet. I still need to help you with this jump." And then point out everywhere he can jump on his own.
If he's naturally a jumper, a simple no is not going to squash his desire to test out new heights. I tell my 3 yr old no multiple times a day, and he still tries new stuff daily!
As you know by now kids are going to get hurt. It's how THEY learn risk vs safety. There will be times when you "allow" him to do something slightly risky and it'll end up in more than a bump or bruise. But that's life.
I won't let my son do something that could break his neck (if I see it), but otherwise if it's something within his capacity or a little beyond, I just say "Be careful." He knows I'm watching and he knows I'll console him if he does get hurt. If I'm real wary but he's going to put up a fight to try it, then I just stand closer and try to act fast if he does start to wipe out.
Don't overanalyze it too much or you'll go nuts analyzing every situation and replaying it in your mind after the fact. Go with your gut at the moment. Sometimes it'll turn out well and sometimes it won't. If it doesn't go well, say something like "You'll have to try again someday."
Good for you (and for him!), when my son was the same age I would let him jump, climb etc...as i was standing near him, just to make sure I could catch him in case he failed. In the most dangerous cases, though, I would make a deal wit him: i'd hold his hands/help him out for the first 3 times (enough for meto judge if he could do it by himself) and then we'd decide together wether or not he was going solo. 99 on 100 when it was too scary, he would be the one to NOT want to go without my help. This is what worked for us!
You need to make sure he has a cape!!!!
How about saying .. "If you are up higher than you are tall, you need to let me help you when you jump,. "
And then show how high is fine on the play scape, ledge, stairs.. whatever.
Maybe use a prop to show him what would happen, like an egg or a doll or something.
Depending on what it is that he wants to jump from tell him "I'll let you do it as long as you let me hold your hands so you can see how it's going to feel when you land, let's try that first, okay?"
It really is OK to say you're not big enough yet. I say things like "You have to be 5 (or some random age) to do that." It is not the same as telling a child "you are not capable or you will never be able to...." It's like the measuring bar in front of a ride at the amusement park. You'll do it when....
Sure you can jump from that, WHEN you turn 4.
Out of my four kids, two are my adventure seekers (oldest and youngest.) My rule of thumb when they were trying to climb something was "if you can't climb it by yourself then you have to wait until you are bigger". Now, my oldest was seen in kindergarten scaling across the top of the playground swingset and it didn't stress me because I was so used to his shenanigans. My youngest like yours will jump off of just about anything! I do have to step in at times and tell him that is not for jumping and save it for the gym(nastics) where he can jump into the pit all he wants. That is our best resource (the gym) since I can explain there is a place and time for it. Some things you can control, some not and it is really hard when they say "look mom!" and you just know it's something you don't want to see!
Just simply tell him," it's not safe to jump from that high because you could get hurt!" You aren't lying to him, it's the truth no matter how good of a jumper he is or isn't. There are things that just aren't safe to do on the playground equipment and that's probably one of them.
Take him to a lower place and have him jump from there. He'll be able to safely practice jumping and increase his leg strength/improve his landings. In another year or so you can discuss it again! :)
