Emotionally Drained

I know how you feel. I would talk to a doctor, because post-partum depression is not just for immediately after the child is born. IT can happen anywhere from birth to a year or so, i believe. I am not a doctor, but that is what i have heard.

I have gone through post partum depression three times and what you describe sounds like it is the beginning signs of that. I would take to a doctor it sounds scary but being happy is worth it.
F.

I felt like I could have written this!!!
My son is 6 months old and I can totally relate!!
WOW I am so glad that it is not just me. This part especially...
"I am not acting like myself. I am very irritable to my husband and my son. It makes me feel like a terrible wife and mother because I love my family very much, and I do not want to act this way." I think what I have realized is that it is kind of like REAL life has set in!!! The honeymoon is over and this is it, and wow somedays that is really hard. My goal for dealing with this in 2007 is this. Starting walking again, I feel better when I exercise. Do more things I like to do, read, journal, scrapbook. Also I think that sometimes it is just ok to be tired!! Please know you are not alone!!! Take a deep breath and good luck with the job search. I work PT, 2 long days, 10 hours each on Tues and Thurs. I think it is a pretty good balance most weeks. Good luck and keep smiling-
K.

Hi R.,
I day position is opening at Froedtert Hospital on the sugery floor. I know because me sister works there. Good luck, I would act fast!

R., where do you live? I am in Minneapolis/StPaul area and as far as I know there is a nursing shortage here. I have several friends who are nurses and they are always working doubles because there aren't enough nurses. Email me if you are in the area and I'll see if I can connect you with one of my friends. ____@____.com

R., go on careerbuilder.com, my husband is on there all the time looking for different jobs. I have seen a few RN jobs there. Not sure what shift. I work at St. Francis Home in Fond du Lac. Are you looking at hospital, clinic, or geriatric care? You've made it 6months. I know you are still trying to adjust from going back to work.

Are you just drained because you're working nights? It does take some getting used to. I work 2nd shift & it took a couple of weeks to get over the tiredness. Try exercising too, that will help. Do you think maybe you have some depression going on?
What area in the medical field are you working as an RN? I work at Froedtert as a Medical Assistant, Surgical Tech in Labor & Delivery. There are ALWAYS RN positions in lots of different areas. I can see what they have, just let me know.

Email me if you're interested & I will send you some Froedtert openings.

P.

There's a lot of info on PPD, have you looked into that? Its worth a shot treating yourself for it. Also, if you're not sleeping try exercise or even a otc sleep aid. Getting the rest you need is essential to maintaining healthy relationships. GOod luck! I have been there!

R.,

First let me say congrats on your new son. I can sympathize with you on no energy, as I've been a Mom for 16 years and I'm still tired, LOL!

Honestly, it sounds as if you could be experiencing some post-partum depression. I've never had to deal with it myself, but know others who have. I suggest you talk to your doctor about your tiredness, irritableness, and lack of energy. It could be more than just not enough sleep.

I hope this helps you a little bit. Good luck!
C. J

Hi R.,

Congrats on your son (and your husband--I'm a single mom, so I can only imagine how nice it would be to have the father involved)! Is this your first child? I wonder if you might be experiencing some postpartum depression. I remember going through that, and I wasn't merely irritable, I was full of rage all the time. But that's me on hormones (or off of them, in this case). If you are working a night shift, I don't think you should feel guilty that your son is in daycare, if the daycare is good and reliable. Working parents these days have to get help on child care. You are supposed to sleep, after all! Switching to days might help you because then you can be with your son, even if both of you are sleeping. Best of luck to you!

Hi R.,
Congrats on the new baby! Life sure is hard trying to go back to work and have a little one to care for. I tried then it seemed with my first that the babysitter knew her better! I am now a stay at home mom and I am a lia sophia jewelry advisor! I get to stay at home and control my life I have a few shows a month and make great money and I have made alot of friends because of it!! If you are interested you can email me at ____@____.com or if you just need someone to talk to about baby stuff please feel free to email me! Have a great day and everything will work out in time!

A. David

Hi R.,
Hang in there. Becoming a new mom is sooooo overwhelming! Congratulations on recognizing that you are just not you right now and wanting to do something about it. I think sometimes us moms think that all of the mom-stuff is supposed to just come naturally and if we can't handle it, we're somehow sub-par on the mommy-scale. And that couldn't be farther from the truth. The best way to be a good mom and wife is to take care of yourself. You say that you are new to your area. Are there some mom's groups you could get involved in for support? Also, post pardum depression is considered that for up to a year after your baby is born. Even if it's a mild case. So, I also advise you to see your doctor for a visit. Also, eating healthy and even a little exercise can make a big difference. Even in a busy life, it just takes a little planning.
Hang in there. It's hard, but the rewards are endless.
C.

Hang in there!!! Being a new mom alone is draining and then to top that off of working the night shift is very difficult. Talk to your doctor too. Have you thought about having your iron checked? And making sure that it might not be something going on medically with you?
I am sure the day shift would help, but then would your child be in daycare anyhow? Good luck to you!! Life is never easy...

I'm a single mom and had worked from the time my daughter was 6mos. til she was just about 4 years old and I was ALWAYS tired, and didn't have the energy to do anything but work work work and take care of my chlid it was a good day when I actually had time and energy to clean the house and do household things. Now I'm a SAHM and things are just so much calmer, my stress level went from crazy to hardly any. I'm happier and my daughter is happier.

You may have to much on your plate or could possible have some post partum depression. Your trying to balance alot, and things have changed drastically since you had your child I imagine. Time and Patience and prehaps talking to your doctor or even possibly looking at a career or job that works better with your family might help.

R.,

To me, it sounds like you have a case of PPD. I recommend seeing your doctor and getting some meds, or at least find out some ways to cope and make things better naturally (if you don't like to take meds) My sister has been having the same issues, feeling like a terrible mother and wife. She was just diagnosed with severe PPD, she is glad she was because now she can take the steps to get back to her.

As far as the job goes, I suggest putting your resume on www.doer.state.mn.us - www.monster.com and maybe even careerbuilder.com . That way you could search and see what there is available out there and employers will contact you based on your qualifications.

Good luck!

H.

I cut my hours back when my son was amost 9 months old. I went to a .8 FTE so I have thursdays with my son. It really helps me to have some mommy time. I think you are going in the right direction about changing your hours. Maybe you can work something out where you are now with your supervisor so you can feel better. D.

Hang in R.. It took me nearly 18 months to fully adjust to being a first time mom; though I was much better after about a year. New moms need all the sleep they can get. Working nights can't help matters much. Good for you for deciding to make some changes. I'd talk to your doc too. Don't be afraid to ask for some medical help to get you through this time. You might have Post Partum Depression. You don't have to be psychotic to be suffering from it and it can last a lot longer than most people realize.

Hi R.,
What a coincidence. Our son is 7 months old and I returned to work over 3 months ago. You are not alone. My husband is also very helpful and wonderful, but we cannot get our lives organized and calm. We both work full-time and we feel like we don't have time to sit and enjoy our family. Plus, I hate that he's in daycare full time. I am working on finding a part-time job to ease things up a bit. I think that would definitely help us. In your situation, I'm sure you are undergoing a big adjustment to the schedule shift. Make sure you are eating healthily and take the advice of others to see your doctor to rule out any medical reason for your tiredness. I am also very tired a lot of the time, but mainly at night and it's better in the morning. If you're not having any moments of "non-tiredness" then something may be askew with your health. Good luck finding a different job. I know there are a lot of nursing positions with interesting schedules. Sometimes I wish I went to nursing school instead.

I would talk to your doctor. Just explain how you have been feeling. After our third son I was struggling too. I ended up on some medication for post pardum and it REALLY HELPED! I had to go off of it because I got pregnant again and I did not want to be on anything for my childs sake (even though it was said to be safe). I really felt much better. But, even if you don't go on medication, he may have some good suggestions for you.

You might want to get checked for depression. Your symptoms are just like mine were when I was suffering from post partum depression. I went on antidepressents and they did a wonderful job clearing my head. Always being tired and irritable are two major depression signs and the fact that you have recently had a baby is also a sign. Depression doesnt always pop up right after birth, sometimes could take months. Please see your doctor about these symptoms before making major life changes you may regret later. L.

We had a similar issue. It was two fold. With a front loading washer, mold can accummulate. We found just leaving the door open helped a lot. Also, there is a drain under our washer, and the trap can go "dry" after some time and it starts to smell a little of sewer. We just pour some water (a quart or so) in and it really helps. Good luck.

R. -

Take care of yourself. I sent you a PM... be in touch.

*hugs*
J.

As a mother of a 3 month old I know how you feel completly! I will be putting her in day care soon, and the guilt is overwhelming sometimes. I was very irritable and snappy with my 6 year old. EVERYTHING annoyed me. I started back on medication for my moods. Some times, depression isn't feeling sad, or not being able to do day to day life, sometimes it's irritability, mood swings, and guilt. Maybe talk to your doctor about other options, not necasarily medication, but maybe someone to talk to once a week. When you feel good mentally, the physical you feels so much better.

Hi R.,
Being a first time Mom, working and keeping up with housework is a lot to handle. I am married w/ 2 boys, 3 1/2 & 1 and working full time! Everyday is a adventure and trying to keep up with everything is so tiring. I completly understand where you are coming from. All I can say is take one day at a time. It is great that your husband is so helpful...mine, not so much. He is great w/ the boys, but when it comes to housework, that is not a strong area for him. I am not sure what area you are from, but St. Mary's Ozaukee, Mequon, may be hiring soon, with the new addition of the Hospital. Good luck!

Wow! You totally sound like me a year ago! I am a RN as well, and I thought it would be perfect for me to go to nights after my son was born. I felt the same way you are feeling now. I never felt like myself, I felt guilty that someone was watching my baby so I could sleep-and I had a hard time even getting to sleep during the day. I always felt like I was in a fog. Finally, I decided to go back to day/evening. I work a .7 (I did .6 nights but had to pick up an extra day to make up for the night differential) Trust me-you will not regret changing shifts. You will feel SO much better!

R.,
you have so much good advice here, but I couldn't help saying, "Don't be so hard on yourself"! Being a new mom is hard bt it can get easier. My daughter is almost two and I'm constantly tired. I got really fortuneate, I work two and a half days a week. Two days a week I'm home with my daughter(plus weekends and nights) two days I work and she is at daycare. On the other day, I work half a day but leave my daughter in daycare a full day, so I can rest, clean, run errands, etc. If you could find something like this, where all needs are met, including some down time for yourself, it would help. You deserve to take care of yourself too, rememebr that! Try not to feel guilty about daycare, you need timeoutside the home, either for finacial or personal reasons, and most kids love daycare, I know mne does. Good luck!