Embarrassing Question...

that sounds like something you should definitely ask the doctor. just cause he's not sexually active doesn't mean he isn't a carrier for something. on the other hand, it could be completely unrelated, and you've just come down with a fever not because of him, but lots of viruses present that way, including sexually transmitted ones... Good luck!

CHile.........He beat it up. The insides of your walls are raw from the friction. It takes a few days and maybe a week. I would not suggest doing it again so quickly because it will last longer. Sypmtoms of a STD don't appear over night. I'm no doctor but when I have good sex with a man who is packin.......you will feel the effects. You wouldn't be so worried if you would use a condom. I'm sure you know this. Also, you should only be sensitive to the touch. You did have an aerobic workout so your chest, arms, pelvis, and thighs should all ache. Next time do some warm up exersizes........just kidding:-)

i would think that is normal. you havent "used" that spot in a long time. it is made of sensitive tissue and delicate mucscles. when i got married i had not been with anyone and it took a while for those symptoms to subside. your body has to adjust to sex just like any other kind of exercize or stiumulation especially if your not a great fit at first. also you are using muscles around that area that dont get used on a daily basis...remember having a baby! you found muscles you didnt know you had. just let him know that you are having soreness as a result of becomming active again and to be gentle and not expect sex everytime.
if it doesnt subside then check with your dr but my guess is they will tell you the same thing. when my h goes away for months on end and comes home i have to re-adjust physically but it doesnt take as long...2 years is a long time.
best wishes, be safe even if he has been fixed and says hes not active. stds can lerk in a man for quite a while without symptoms. i cant speak of stds except from what iv read.
also each person has different natural bacteria that they carry. you have been normalized in your body for a while and introducing his natural bacteria could cause an imballance so be on the look out for uti signs ect...i got plenty of those when i was first married even though my husband had just showered.

I just want to be another voice of advocacy for you having sex (after reading some of the posts) - it is purely normal, natural and after two years, maybe even neccessary!! :)

If I knew someone really well, trusted that they were disease free (they were checked out by an MD) and they had a vasectomy I would probably also go condom free.

If you really think about it, anybody even husbands could be lying about affairs etc, so in a perfect world we should all be using condoms even if on birth control, but life doesn't happen that way, so just live it the best you can!

I would see your OB/GYN and get everything checked out just to be on the safe side. I would also use a condom. There are plenty of STD's that would be uncomfortable to live with for life (herpes, warts, etc.) but HIV is a death sentence. Be careful!

My advice is to see your gynecologist. You may have an infection that was there before the sex but the irritation made the area more sensitive. See your doctor.

Go to a doctor. Now. Seriously.

Its possible that while you were arroussed and wanting to have sex, you body was still tense and that's what caused you to be in pain. Being dehydrated could also have lead to those symptoms, as could a UTI. Always make sure you pee and clean yourself after sex to prevent a UTI or yeast infection.

J. ~
The first person you should ask is your DOCTOR! I am not a doctor, but my advice is simple common sense. BAD idea not to use a condom, no matter how well you think you know this man. DO NOT DO THAT AGAIN! What you probably have is just vaginal irritation since you haven't had sex in a long time, especially if you didn't use any lubricant. Or, if you did use lubricant, it could be an allergic reaction. Don't dismiss this! You could have an infection of some type and you don't want it to spread. If you have bumps of any sort, there is a possibility of herpes. Just because someone hasn't had sex in a long time doesn't mean they might not have a disease. Go to your doctor right away. Good luck.
K.

PS) After reading your response to the responses, it seems you do not get it. Your life is not something to take risks with, especially when you have children to care for. You say there is nothing wrong with making love, but yes, there are times when it is wrong. We, as human beings have been given the gift of thought, reason and common sense. We should not live our lives on desires alone. Another reader asked the question as to whether you would want your own children to have premarital sex. Think about that. We are models for our children's behavior. I know this world has become very liberal when it comes to sex, but where has it gotton us? Aids, STDs, unwanted pregnancy, even rape. Not to mention the emotional toll of sexual intimacy with someone you are not completely devoted to. There comes a point when we all should just WAKE UP! Stop secumbing to social pressures. We are bombarded with sex in this society. Please, please think long and hard about your actions. It WILL affect your children, believe me. My words are not meant to be harsh, only to try to tell you to protect the ones you love most. I hope you will take to heart ALL the responses you recieved. People really do care about other human beings.

I agree with the other reader that you were probably tense. And remember, sex is a workout! It can be very tiring and exhausting. I have to tell you though, you really should use a condom. Just because he isn't sexually active doesn't mean you can't get an STD, unless you are saying he is a virgin. Many STD's can be dormant, but still catching (e.g. herpes). I am glad you found a guy you like, but just be careful!

My guess would be you are doing something that you body hasn't done in a while. It will probably go away after a while. You know like when you exercise for the first time, you body is sore and has to get used to the activity again.

That is my humble opinion. Good Luck.

P.S. USE A CONDOM!!! better safe than sorry.

Well first off I'm glad you got some! LOL!! Second in this day in age I would have definately used a condom! I pray that you have not contracted anything. But now that you've done it in the "nude" it might be hard for him to understand why you want to use a condom. Until you have both checked out I would definately put condom in use. If he refuses, he doesn't have yours or his bestinterest at heart.

You shouldn't be embarrased! I go through the body aches myself. In my case the aches come from not being sexually active very often and the length of time involved in the sexual act. Don't forget that you have a human body on top of yours and that weight stresses your muscles as well as the positition(s) he put you in. You haven't used those muscles in TWO YEARS girl. So Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday will be the achy days and it should get better from there. The more you have regular sex this won't happen. Don't be scared take a hot bath with epson salt and use muscle rub and get back into the swing of things and have fun. LOL this is a problem you should feel good about!

Hello J.! I know you have alot of responses already but I have to put my two cents in lol. I really wouldn't worry that much about it. Std's take time to develop symptoms. If exposed you wouldn't have symptoms yet. I am not a Dr. but I did take a sexuality class in college (in 05) and we talked about STI's ( the current way to refer to std's) a lot. Most have an incubation period of at least 10 days. If it's been less than the ten days it wouldn't even show up on a test. They might just treat you unnecesarily (I'm a terrible speller sorry!. It has been awhile and your body had a workout lol. Relax. If it continues, or gets worse, I would go to a Dr.

I know when I started dating my husband and I hadn't had sex in quite a while I was incredibly sore the next day. I don't remember how long it lasted, but I think you are normal. Your body will adjust and enjoy the romance!

You probably used some muscles that haven't been used in a while. It's like any "exercise"--your muscles are sore because they haven't been worked out in that type of position.

Could be Herpes, better get checked by your OB/GYN. He could be asymptomatic and still pass it on.

J.,

You may just be sore because it had been so long. When you don't use muscles for a while then start again. it can be painful. I think you should be using condoms though. Even if he is not active you don't know who he was active with when he was. You can't risk your health and the health and well being of your kids for anything or anyone.

K.

J., the burning/pain and swelling is from the friction. It's a delicate area, ya know! I have had this happen to me before, more than once, with my husband. It takes days sometimes to go away, especially if it was a particularly long session or we hadn't had sex in a particularly long time. Use a trusted lubricant next time, it'll help. And don't have sex again until it subsides. You'll just agitate it and make it worse. Especially b/c you probably won't self-lubricate at all b/c of the discomfort.
As a side note, I believe that sex is a healthy part of a relationship. But for your own santity and health, if he's really a great guy and worth sleeping with he won't mind wearing a condom or getting tested with you.

Ok J....here is my experience with this. After two years of not "doing it" your body has "forgotten" some of the muscles needed to have sex. And yes, your vagina will be swollen. It just had something put in there it had not had in a while. (It remembers just not quickly) Dont be scared, just be aware that sometimes you need to "warm up" slowly, after all, this is a new experience for you.

The first time after two years (illness and death in my family) that I did it...I thought I had broken my neck!!! I was sore all over, felt like I had been hit by a train, and was walking a bit funny, I thought. But, once I got over the initial shock, the soreness went away all over and I have not had a problem since.

Good luck and take care

Just wanted to respond to say that just because he's had a vasectomy doesnt mean it's 100 % safe and effective form of birth control. There have been alot of pregnancys that occured after a vasectomy that were proven to be the child of the man who'd had the vasectomy. So unless you are ready to take on the responsibility of having another child, and that your man is ready to take on that responsibility also, then you should protect yourself by insisting on a condom or another form of birth control. NOW, on to the other issue of safe sex...as others have said, just because he had not been currently sexually active when you met him does not mean he was not the carrier of an STD. And even if he told you he was STD free does not mean he is. Even if he is a great guy in all other avenues. Many people wont admit even to themselves that they have an STD let alone admit it to a sexual partner. There are some things, like herpes, that wont go away with treatment. You have them for life. You can treat the symptoms but not cure it. So for your healths sake, in this day and age, you should be more cautious. AFTER you get a Sexually Transmitted Disease is too late to suddenly be worried, especially one such as Herpes or AIDS. If he insists on going condom free for whatever reason (It 'feels' better. You cant get pregnant cause I've had a vasectomy. yadda yadda yadda) then you should insist on not having sex with him. You have no idea how many men have SAID they had vasectomys just for the sole intent of being selfish and going condom free.

First of all, thanks, you gave me hope! I have been divorced almost a year and have no clue how I will end up dating again with a 16 month old. Do not let others judge you, sex is a natural part of a relationship and congrats on finding a great guy to share it with!

Just as the others said, it's totally normal. Use a lubricant next time, I swear by it.

my husband(we are separated) had a vasectomy, then years later we had a child. he also has herpes, I do not know if you can get symptons this early but you can get it nontheless.
maybe you can google this or go to one of the MD wedbistes. There is so much out there it is scary.

Don't be embarrassed, just get thee to a doctor. Also, ask how your friend was feeling the next day. THe body aches could just be a flu that you were already incubating, but the swelling and burning is more concerning. There is no chance there was a tampon left up there--? Good luck.

J.! I just dont know where to start first..well here goes. First of all it has been over two years, DAH! what did you expect, you hadnt used it. It is like being a virgin all over again. Secondly I am apauled that you had unsafe sex, reguardless if he is sexually active. How do you know that he isnt having sex alot or not? he told you? I know that you are old enough to know that you dont believe everything a man saying especially when it comes to sex. You know that you have two children. Not to put a damper on things but is your life worth more to you than unsafe sex? I think not, when you have two children to care for and what kind of example are you giving your children. Think about it before you decide to do it again. Also think about this if you hadnt exercised in a long time what happens to your muscles when you start exercising they start to hurt, RIGHT? same thing with that muscle. My suggestion is to sit in a tub of hot water as hot as you can stand it and soak. The swelling will go down as for the burning you might have tore something inside go to your gyno. She will probably tell you to use cool compress and give you a cream to use for a couple of days or might just tell you dont have anymore sex until it stops burning because sometime it will heal it self. Not trying to tell you how to run your life but you should be saving yourself for your future second husband or none at all. Because they are not worth you going through the emotion that you are going to put your children through if doesnt work out. Just think more of your children and less of your sexual needs. And get GOD in your life he will supply all your needs. Merry Christmas. P.

J., I'd say it's normal -- based on my own experience of being inactive for a number of years, it's prob. a combination of being out of practice and maybe mommy-guilt (at least in my case). I didn't think I was allowed to have any fun after getting divorced and having a little one to raise...One other pointer, in case your guy spends more time over: even if you put a lock on your bedroom door, you may still have little ones coming in unexpectedly. Play it cool (disentangle slooowly) so they think what you're doing is OK, and explain it as adult wrestling or rough-housing associated w/ lots of giggling. Hey, my precocious 6-year-old believes it! Good luck!