Email from Teacher

"Maybe he exaggerated and maybe he chose the wrong words."

Dear, that's called LYING!!!" She wasn't calling him a liar. She was telling you he lied, in THIS situation. Seriously. Not a thing wrong with the email.

Hello,
It doesn't sound harsh or inappropriate to me, it sounds matter-of-fact and informative. I think you're reading too much into it.

at this point, you will never really know what happened.

it's been blown out of proportion by all involved.

for me, the issue begins with Sean going to snitch on an accidental? touch & lying/exaggerating about the incident. No harm until the snitch.

Sorry.

How would you have preferred for her to have worded it? "this is the 2nd time that Sean has stretched the truth...been dishonest...blamed someone else for something that he really caused...." it all amounts to the same thing. Sean exaggerated and lied. We parents do our kids no service by looking for things to be offended at. Let our teachers call a spade a spade and discipline our kids. They deal with enough on a daily basis; must we demand that they also pussyfoot around us adults too?

Sounds appropriate to me. If he said he was pinched and was only touched, that is a bold-faced lie...please do not cover up his behavior because of his young age. K or not, a six year old knows the difference between an accidental touch and a pinch.

You are correct, though, that the other child may have lied and said he didn't when he did. But if, when the teacher spoke to them together, the children agreed that it was only a touch...well, then, he lied. Exaggerating would be "he touched me hard" when he touched him softly. A lie would be "he pinched me" when he only touched him, etc.

I think it's appropriate that the teacher would be trying to encourage him not to exaggerate and/or lie.

She also didn't call him a liar. In an email to his MOTHER, she expressed that she feels he has lied on two occasions. The verb and the noun are not interchangeable.

The message sounds acceptable to me. Teacher is reporting, factually, what happened. She's cluing you in on what she told the son and asking that you also speak with him in the same vein. Repetition is helpful in teaching lessons. The lesson she wants to reinforce that this is not the way to treat friends. She is not emphasizing the lying. No matter what words the son used, he accused the other child of hurting him when ultimately it sounds like they were playing. The focus is on friendship.

What seems harsh to you? What happened is really no big deal. All kids go thru this sort of behavior at one time or another. The teacher is taking a teaching approach.

There is a difference, a big difference, between touching and pinching. I think it's important to talk with the son about the differences in the meaning of words. But again, this is not big deal.

You want to cut the son slack for using a not accurate word. Perhaps you could cut the teacher some slack for using a word with which you don't agree. For me, the son lied. But again, it's more a matter of helping him understand the use of words and ways to treat a friend. i.e. not getting him in trouble by exaggerating a touch.

In the scheme of things what is important is helping the children learn ways of interacting with each other and the teacher. Don't focus on semantics. And don't focus on proving who is right and who is wrong. Focus on communication amongst all of them.

Also, very important, is that the teacher did not call him a liar. She said he lied. There is a big difference. Are we to not use specific words to describe specific actions? For fear of damaging a child we should not say he lied? We should say, he used the wrong word? Can you see the ludicrousness of that?

I suggest that the mother first ask her son what happened and why. And then reinforce what the teacher has said about how to treat a friend. Then teach him the difference between a pinch and a touch. Ask the son what happened. Keep an open mind.

You're judging this teacher based on one e-mail. How can you do that? This is entirely not fair.

Not harsh and I'd be glad the teacher was keeping me up on what was going on...

I would question why it needed to be addressed at all. No one is hurt, lying is typical for that age, the teacher didn't SEE it happen, so how do they really know what happened. For all we know your nephew could have changed his story when confronted and felt pressure from the teacher and other little student. Who knows. I would thank the teacher for bringing it to your attention. I would ask your nephew what happened and see what his story is, but I wouldn't worry too much about it. Seems like a silly thing for an email.

Doesn't sound inappropriate to me either. Sounds more like a teacher who is trying to get a student to learn to tell the difference between when to tell the teacher he has been hurt by another student and when to realize that sometimes contact with another human can be excused.

This is very typical at this age, so no worries! Consider it a milestone :)

no. not harsh. I think the teacher is just keeping it to the facts and clearly stating what she'd like your help on.

Not to be the bubble burster, a "nice kid" can still be a discipline problem. And the fact the teacher is having to email your sister for support demonstrates that the lesson of minding in class is not sticking.

Do not make excuses for him. He made a mistake, was a discipline problem in the class and it can be remedied if your sister accepts the truth as told by an adult who cares for and has your nephew's best interest at heart.

You are not alone. My son has come home with notes about pinching and being in other people's space and I sit him down (no excuses) and tell him that is not ok. And the ramifications if he continues. I support the teacher and classroom rules - regardless. It does not mean my little guy is any less wonderful, or bright or sweet, just that he needs reminding of the rules:)

I don't think the teacher's message or wording was inappropriate or harsh. I just think it was direct. If this is the second time that she's dealt with him exaggerating about a situation to get another kid in trouble, that's a problem. It doesn't mean she thinks he's a bad kid - it means he's having a hard time negotiating the classroom socially. Most kids go through this at one time or another. She should talk with her son about what happened and role play a little to help him understand. But you should neither blow it off nor overreact. She's asking you to back up the school rules so he gets that it's important. I don't see a problem with that at all.

I don't see it as harsh at all. It's easy to get our feelings hurt when we're confronted about our kid's inappropriate behavior. Just remember that teacher isn't trying to be critical of you, just asking for your help in correcting bad behavior.

I dont' think it was bad at all. She is letting the parents know what she's observed and what her opinion is. They need to talk to their son and get his side. At that point they might want to schedule a meeting with her if they feel the teacher is off base. Sometimes with kids that age it can be difficult. And just because you don't have problems with him does not mean he dosn't act different with other people. I know my kids do sometimes.

It doesn't necessarily sound harsh, it sounds like a rushed email from a busy teacher. She was direct with no sugar coating. People take offense to the word "lied" but not telling the truth is in fact lying. Yes, she definitely could have used a better choice of words, for sure! Anyone with a kindergartner knows that lying and exaggerating is a normal phase. Great kids who are kind and not a discipline problem, still need corrections at times. This email doesn't sound like a personal attack, she's just addressing an issue. I wouldn't take it personally. I'd simply thank her and tell her we will talk about it at home.

I think you and your sister are overreacting. It sounds like you two are feeding off of each other. It was not an "incident" and yes, he did lie. He needs to be talked to and reprimanded, not babied and blameless.

If a child is accidentally touched, he should #1) not be calling it pinching and #2) not be wasting the teacher's time with a mundane, normal occurence. Kids get accidentally hit, poked, touched, kicked, tripped etc. all the time at school and admininstration doesn't have time for tattling over nothing.

Instead of getting defensive, appreciate that the teacher brought up the exaggerating and asked for support at home. She sees it at a concern, which it is, and made your sister aware of it. I don't think a conference is necessary and I think it's a waste of time, personally.

It sounds like this is your sister's first kid, and if she (and you) are going to get this upset and dramatic over something that's really nothing, then she's going to have a rough road ahead of her. Technically, he DID lie. She didn't call him a liar to his face, she said he's lied more than once. It's hard to hear negatives about your child, but the teacher really does have his best interests at heart. If a parent's ego gets hurt in the meantime, then so be it.

Now, my question is, what is your sister going to do, to make sure he doesn't continue to do exaggerate and tell stories? What's his consequence?

I don't see anything harsh or inappropriate about the wording or the message. I think that you are taking exception to the word "lied." That is a bit harsh, but it's what he did.

I think the discussion with Sean should center more around honesty, and truthfulness rather than how to treat friends.

I see nothing wrong with her message. No harshness at all. In no way does this say she is not understanding or nuturing...she is trying to reduce chaos and guide him.

Maybe she could have chosen another word besides "lied" but he didn't tell the truth. Touching and pinching are not the same. Since this isn't the first time something like this happened she thought she should let the parents know that Sean is exaggerating the truth and thus making false allegations.

You mention he's the youngest in his class. Is his birthday is August so he's the or one of the youngest? or is he the youngest because he started early is a full year or more younger than all the kids in his class (my son's birthday is October 17 and when he started school in MD he was on track w/ the other kids because of the cut off but when we moved to DE he was at least a full year younger than his peers because DE had a different cut off...the other kids his age were a grade behind him). If it is because he started early, she may need a gentle reminder that while he may be a little socially younger it is likely because he IS so much younger. If he's just on the younger end of the class (like with an August birthday), he's probably not much different than the others and she's probably guiding all of them (but you only hear about him).

It sounds like your nephew exaggerated what happened probably to get some attention. I don't think it is out of line at all for the teacher to ask for the moms help in making sure that he knows lying is not allowed. and more importantly that he knows mom and teacher are in contact about things.

To lie would include intent to deceive. I don't see how she can tell that this is what happened. Maybe the other kid "lied". Maybe the accidental touch was sharp and hurt like a pinch or otherwise made your nephew feel like pinch was an appropriate word to use, in explanation of what the "touch" felt like. Her account does not sound objective or factual. It sounds conclusive, and if she is going to report a conclusion, then she needs to explain how she came to that conclusion. Why does it seem that it was only a touch versus a pinch or something else painful? Because the other kid said so? Sounds like one kid's word against that of the other. How did she decide which one to believe, and how will this affect reporting and her perspective in the future? Hell, maybe the other kid actually did pinch him.

This really has turned into something that it didn't have to be, all because of her wording and tone, which I would assume indicates her attitude and approach to my child. As a parent, I would meet with her and let her know my concerns. It's not that your sister is being overly sensitive or blind to the fact that her child is prone to childish behavior. Because of the way that this teacher has expressed the issue to the parent, the parent cannot trust her to be unbiased in future encounters, and that's a problem. It would be for me. Blindly getting "on the same page" with her shows your nephew that he can't count on the adults in his life to advocate for him. Did an adult ever lie on you when you were a kid? That is a horrible feeling, especially if your parents just jumped right on the bandwagon.

My problem was definitely with the word "lied." I mean really. He is in kindergarten and may not even understand the difference between pinch and push. Who knows which kids story is right. She made too big of a deal.

I think the phone conference is always the first, best way for teachers to relate *any* negative feedback. Email tends to open up a lot of questions which aren't answered immediately, which leaves too much time for bad feelings to build.

I do not see, though, that the teacher called your nephew a 'liar' or used any label. She did describe the action as she experienced it, and I think it's okay to call a lie a lie. Probably not a popular opinion, but our kids need to know when we think they have done something false on purpose. I don't sugarcoat it with my son and I think telling tales does need to be addressed.

I do wonder, when the teacher used the word "lied", was it because he was exaggerating such a small incident specifically to seek attention or to get the other child in trouble? If it were me communicating with a parent, I would be more precise in explaining that part of it with some less loaded language. I would likely be addressing the exaggerating and tattling, which are problematic, surely... first graders do know if their buddy accidentally bumped them and what warrants the 'need' to tell on their classmates. And some kids *will* lie in order to get another child in trouble or to get attention from an adult.

If this comes across as a bit much, please understand that my son was recently targeted by another child over a similar small incident. I have it from the teacher that it was pretty much a non-issue (all the kids were playing and the touching was not aggressive, very light), but my son's friend did lie, did exaggerate greatly, did play the victim. He also lied to his mother, didn't tell her that my son had already apologized after getting screamed at , and came in to school the next day telling me my son had 'punched him in the stomach'. As this was the first I'd heard about this non-incident, I was surprised and upset and made my son apologize.
When I found out what had really happened, it was very upsetting. I will *always* double-check a story with the teacher now.

The fallout was that my kid was so upset and humiliated over the entire thing that *HE* stopped speaking up when his friends were hitting him in the face--he was so embarrassed and humiliated by this first child that he would rather get hurt than hurt his friends' feelings. And we had to figure THAT one out with the teacher too. So yes, tattling and exaggerating can become a very real problem if left unchecked, not just for the kids who do it, but for others as well.

It does sound like something mom and the teacher need to be a team on this. I hope they can work on a plan going forward. Exaggerating and tattling is not a good habit to get into, and Sean will only get labeled for this over the long term by his classmates. Let your sister know that maybe Sean is just trying this out and that she should be sure to check with the teacher first, over the phone, if Sean comes home with stories of being hurt by kids. I'm not saying your nephew is a bad kid, just that when they start to get into this bad habit, we need to get all the facts before taking their side.

OK I know you may not see this because you finished it, but I take exception to the word lied as well as some of the other moms' on here's explanation of it. I kindergarden child is still learning the difference between what they think and what is real. This is concrete and provable. You have to be very careful of this with children this age. (There are TONS of legal studies on this in relation to very young witnesses as well as defendants). The only "lie" here was the difference of opinion between pinch and touch. And a.) it is a difference of opinion until proven otherwise. and b.) if the child exaggerated the outcome to get attention that is a completely different issue than even contact or interpretation problems. This email shows immaturity and ignorance on the part of the teacher. BUT, if mom defends a teacher coming from this attitude she will only make the teacher dislike her child. It is better if mom approaches the teacher from the idea of introducing her to some child development studies.....

Good luck. You're going to need it. Consider that a second conference with principal may be necessary.

I am also uncomfortable with this email. The wording seems a bit dramatic (incident, running to me, lied). But I know that email communication is a beast, often leading to misunderstandings. The really important thing is that the Mom and teacher both understand what is going on. Is her son seeking support? Is he a bit of a sensitive child? Is he needing 1-1 playdates to build up his class relationships? Can Mom and the teacher think of a way for him to be more comfortable and a way for him to seek support in a way the teacher deems appropriate? So I think it's great that his Mom is seeking a conference.

My first thought is they are in K. Who knows what is really going on. If I were your sister I would just talk to her son. See what he says. I never got crazy about things that go on in K. No one really knows who is being honest and who is not. K teachers have so much going on, I am sure the email was not meant to upset your sister. It probably was not the only thing she had to do so cut her some slack.

Not harsh at all....Your sister needs to talk to Sean and perhaps meet with the teacher.

I guess I would have to know if Sean admitted to lying about the incident.

If Sean did not admit to it, then the teacher is taking the other kids word against his and I feel that if she didnt see it with her own eyes, then she needs to chill out and not accuse him of being a liar.

If Sean admitted to lying, mom does need to talk to him about it so class is not interrupted.

Okay, my first thought on this, not knowing either kid, is that the kid who did the pinching had the incentive to lie. Sean did not. What could Sean hope to gain from reporting falsely that he was pinched, vs. what did the kid have to gain who did the pinching? Sean could hope to have the other child get in trouble (but why would he do that if nothing happened worth tattling about?). The other child was hoping not to get in trouble (by claiming not to have done anything wrong). Bottom line, I'd say the evidence is on Sean's side. He had much less incentive to lie than the other kid.

I would definitely have a meeting with the teacher about it. Calling a 5 year old who was pinched a liar sets up a bad precedent. Now he knows his teacher doesn't believe in him, doesn't trust him, will not protect him if/when he needs help, and sees him as a liar. Ugh. This makes me really mad, the more I think of it.

As long as she didn't call him a liar this sounds reasonable to me. If the friend touched him, not pinched him, but told the teacher it was a pinch then it WAS a lie, no getting around that. Since this was a second offense it is good that the teacher is contacting your sister, that's exactly what she should do.
Kindergarten is a funny time. I still remember getting a call when my daughter scratched someone so hard she drew blood. This girl had never been violent at ALL, I was shocked and mortified, and she lost her recess time the next day. When I asked her later why she did it she said because so-and-so told me to (during a recess game that got out of control.) We had a long talk and nothing like that ever happened again.

Personally I would talk to the teacher and understand what she was saying. I hate email sometimes. Too much to be read into it. She may have just picked a bad choice of word to use and probably could have stopped at exaggerated. She likely just wants you to talk to him about understanding the situation, get the scoop on what may have really happened, and make sure he understands that it's not nice to accuse other people of things if it didn't really happen that way. On the other side, You may also want to understand how she determined what actually happened and whether or not your son was actually pinched. Like I said, definitely a situation to discuss in person and I would not go in defensively either. Go in with an open resolving mind. I would also say just because he is young and "not a discipline problem" doesn't say he is going to be innocent. I wouldn't even say this is a discipline issue, just a misunderstanding.

Doesn't sound inappropriate to me.sound more like he just needed to be direct. It always different from an real conversation since there no small talk.It not like she was email about his day, it was a email about the part of the day.

is is this the first mom has heard of this?? Did Sean not have his own versin of things that he had previously shared with mom?? I mean if this other kid hurt him bad enough that he had to make a big deal to the teacher i'm surpirsed he didn't already tell mom.

i also want to know what is going on at home that Sean feels the need to get attention from the teacher over this.

if this was an on going problem where sean had complained about this other boy over and over and over, i would give the incident more weight but because you didn't give us that info all people are focused on is the wording and not what is important ---- your nephew!

stop trying to crucify the teacher and tell your sister to FOCUS on her SON.

Even "Good kids" have bad days.

Even "Good Kids" can lie.

This did not sound harsh at all. It just sounds like she is telling your sister what her son did and how it was handled.

Sure we have Good Kids.. But no one is perfect.

Your sister needs to know that the teacher is on his side, but she knows he can do better and that he needs to know he cannot get away with this behavior at school.

If he lied to his mother, would she be ok with that? Is that the way she is raising him.. He is just a good kid who never makes bad choices? EVER?

We keep our hands to ourselves.
We should never tell a lie. This includes exaggerating.

He gets to start all over starting right now.

All your sister has to do is tell him she knows what happened at school today and she wants him to now tell her the truth. If he tells her the truth, no matter what happened, she will not be mad.. she may be hurt or disappointed but not mad.

Then she should ask him," Tell me what happened today"
"what did you tell the teacher that happened?"

"Why did you tell her.... Or Why is she saying you told her he pinched you when he touched you? "

He is old enough to accountable for what he says. Because if he capable of lying.. he is mature enough to tell the truth.

I understand feeling uncomfortable with hearing the word in conjunction with your nephew, but instead of fixating on the word, I think it would be appropriate to use this as a teaching opportunity for him.

The basic fact, once intent or context is removed, is that the opposite of the truth is a lie. It might have been a misunderstanding, it might have been an exageration, it might have been that he felt the other child's intent was disrespectful and that it came out in his description. Having said that, it is a good time to talk about why it is always important to be as accurate as possible when giving information because people need to know what really happened in order to be able to help. It's also important because some people (like in the case with the teacher) might not take into account intent or context and will just see a lie and we don't want anyone to think that we don't tell the truth.

That's what I would focus on. The steps that help my child make good choices, because in the end very little can be done about the note or the teacher.

I have a 4 yr old and she will say "I accidentally drew" when there's a very obvious picture of an Easter Egg on my table. No "accidentally" about it and I call her on the lie about her intentions. I think at that age, there's a lot of misperception. If I got that, I would talk to my child. I would ask him to tell me his story and make no comments as to blame or lying. Then I would talk to the teacher and say this is what my son said and how he felt. Could an "accidental touch" have been too rough for Sean? There's a boy in DD's class that plays too rough. I've discovered that the bottom line is that my DD does not want to play at his level of roughness, vs that the boy is picking on her. I would also ask the teacher to explain the "other time" and ask if the other child was reminded to be mindful of his own hands. I would not want to feel that my child was treated like a burden by the teacher vs respected for his feelings.

I would work on the child at home about things - see if his perception of touch or sound or whatever is different than other people's. Help him to put correct words on actions and feelings and help him to find words to talk to his friends. "Ow, that hurt! Please don't pinch me." If your nephew is "lawful good" so to speak, he may also really want justice (hence going to the teacher vs working it out himself).

I think that the parents need to keep an open mind, but also listen to Sean. We had a veteran teacher tell us about our 4th grader and wouldn't listen when we told her about our 4th grader. It was really frustrating and we basically taught SD to get through the year and be rid of that teacher in a few months (it also, interestingly, was the worst about this time of year). Hopefully this will quickly be a non-issue, but they should keep their ears open for more tidbits from school.

Ok, I don't like this email. I don't see how she can say he lied, if she didn't see it happen there is really no way she can say who told the truth and who didn't.

I think more information should have been given. I don't know what "page" she wants to be on. I just really think more information was needed. If she didn't have time, she should have waited until she did to write the email.

I don't like emails, texts, tweets or anything else, I don't care what the current trends are some things should be handle in real life. If you can't due to a busy schedule, fine, but make sure it comes across how you intended it to.

I personally don't even see why she sent the email at all. The school year is more than half way over and this is the second time she feels he exaggerated or lied? Please, this is ridiculous, get over it. He is what 5 maybe 6, it happens. I really don't see why she sent it, but can see why you and your sister took offense to the wording/tone of it.

Good Luck!!

I would make sure that the principal and the guidance counselor see the email.

I would also make it clear that "it seems" is not definitive. Your nephew may actually feel that he was pinched, depending how the touch was delivered.

The good thing is that there isn't much time left in the school year. If your sister don't know the first grade teachers yet, she needs to talk to the moms whose children are in first grade, and try to get a view on what they are like. I think that she should also be getting to know the school counselor and talk to her about which first grade teacher would be appropriate for her child.

I think that when the principal sees that a kindergarten actually called a child a liar, there will be a conversation about it. I also think that your sister should ask for the principal to be in that conference...

Dawn

A teacher should never take sides with kids when she didn't see it and know what happened so never should she say one lied when it could have been the other one who lied. Or maybe a misunderstanding at least. I would definitely talk with the teacher but from what I'm seeing now days the teacher may not do a thing. Your sister needs to talk to her son about not lying and be sure he understands and also tell him if someone pinches him again to tell you and not the teacher first. Also keep in mind that kids are able to make up things ( lie ) and you have a hard time telling which one is doing it. If you don't see it you can't really do too much. If it continues then you have to find out what is going on for sure.

harsh?
well, maybe a little. it sounds as if sean is a little over-excitable, and perhaps dramatizes small incidents. while i may not have used the word 'lied', i think the teacher was right to let your sister know what was going on, and that working with him on handling minor incidents without major drama should be a collaborative effort between mom and teacher.
i hope your sister (and you) move past the ego bruise and help this professional help your nephew.
khairete
S.

Second time in what will probably be 100 times. Kids make mistakes and sometimes they don't tell the truth (lie sounds so bad - he's 5).

I think that there is a lesson here for little Sean - but don't make more of an issue than it is!

Rrrrrr. I hate this teacher, just reading this. And I'm reflexively on the side of teachers -- they do grueling, underpaid, exhausting work, and they go into it for all the right reasons. But with so many teachers out there, you're bound to get some bad ones, and this is one of them.

Unfortunately, this may be the kind of gray area where complaining may or may not help. Complaining is great if there's something that violates a school policy (say, they have a zero-tolerance policy on bullying and a teacher tolerates bullying), but here, sadly, I can see the administration backing the teacher up.

So I agree with you and your sister a million percent. But I'm not sure I have any advice to offer on where to go from here :(

I don't find it harsh but more as a matter of fact. --- If this were sent to me I'd be curious to know how she came to the conclusion that it was my child exaggerating. I'd also want to talk to my child to hear for myself the story.

This teacher just called a 5 year old a liar, your sister's son. That is just plain stupid. He may or may not be correct about what happened, but he's not a liar, he's 5. Why is she automatically seeing it as him lieing and the other children telling the truth. They are very small children. And this is the way to handle it, I don't think so. I'm sorry, but she sounds like a unthinking, uncaring, unconscious idot. I know that's harsh. I'm sorry. But I've seen this before more often than I care to remember.

Not only that, she not only blames him instead of watching out to actually see what's happening and then acting accordingly with some intelligence, but she's telling him that "friends" are more important than how he's being treated. Translation: 'keep your mouth shut kid.' This is how the bullying and the victims get started a lot of times.

She obviously doesn't want to be bothered and wants your sister to Fix the problem - the problem as she sees it. Is it any wonder people choose to homeschool.

You may preceive this post as harsh and of course that's your opinion/choice, but let me tell you this also (if you will/I found out the hard way) teachers write all kinds of things in chilldren's paper work/files that parents don't see and aren't even told about. You don't know what she's putting in his file for the next teacher to see. But you can almost be assured she is putting this information in it (as she stated in the email), which will then be read by the next teacher which will then and there decide and assume what kind of child he is and treat him according to it. This happens all the time. --

If I were your sister I would go to the school and tell them you'd like to go through his file. Keep in mind that schools often try to hide things from the parents.

Now mind you, I don't know this little boy or family, maybe he is seeing things that aren't really there in this situation, but even if that is so, something is going on that needs to be looked into by parent and teacher before things are out of hand. Nevertheless the teachers view and approach STINKS. Don't want to be on her page.

If I were Mom, I would talk to Sean and find out his interpretation of the story. It sounds like the teacher asked him and he must have in the end said it was a touch and not an actual pinch.

If that is truly the case, then let him know that if we tell on our friends when it is inappropriate, then the teacher will begin to not believe you, when you really need her help.

For the record, I feel the "exaggerated and lied" comment was a little harsh. I am sure as a teacher, she has to call it to your attention, but if I were a teacher, I certainly wouldn't engage in near name calling.

Blow it off. I am sure there are plenty of other students that will exaggerate throughout their kindergarten year. I know mine did.

Seems a little harsh to accuse him of lying. He's 5 years old and kids that age do tend to exaggerate things. I have a daughter in Kindergarten (she just turned 6) and a son in 3rd grade (he's almost 9). I've seen him brush against her and she cries like he's hurt her and she will even say he hit her. I think if this is the 2nd time maybe she needs to set up a face to face meeting with the teacher to really discuss this. Also talk to the child as well. Good luck!

Not a big deal 0 the teacher is over-reacting. Blow it off and say "OK - thanks". i used dto hink the teachers was the expert - but I've discovered, that like anythign else there are some awesome teachers who are experts and there are some amateurs who grew up in sheltered environments. I used to get in a tizzy over every email / call. I've learned to evaluate each based on the teacher, my kid and the situation. Not a big issue at all - which could be why the teacher sent an email instead of calling.

My first instinct is to recoil at the "this is the 2nd time Sean has exaggerated and lied..." sentence. Strikes me as tacky and rude. Not saying a teacher needs to sugar coat things all the time, but how does she know whether he actually got pinched or lightly touched if she didn't see it with her own eyes? Sounds like Sean was just reporting an incident where he felt he was wronged and I don't think there's anything wrong with that, especially when it involves physical contact. (It's not like he was saying, "Teacher! Andrew looked at me weird!") Either way, have a little tact when you're writing to a parent. He's in kindergarten. The last thing he needs to learn is that his teacher is going to say he's a liar when he reports something that he feels is harmful. I'd be angry too.

I didn't get to read all the responses, but is it possible that the teacher might have also sent a similar email to the mother of the other child? She may just want both parents to reinforce the importance of treating friends nicely. And she did say it "seems" that the student accidentally touched ... which means she may not be taking sides, just trying to do her job letting you know, so that you could interpret appropriately. Just a thought ... let us know.