Elem. School Drop off and Car Seats

Last year in pre-school my daughter was still in a 5-pt harness and I would reach back and unbuckle her while we waited in line and the teachers would get her out of the car. She is now in the vehicle seat belt and we worked on her getting it fastened and unfastened and the car door open and closed this summer. I had to switch her seat with her brothers because I found out that the school door is on the passenger side. Now she has to learn how to do it from the other side so we will be working on that this weekend. Her school wants her to get out and walk in by herself (given that her seat is on the passenger side so they don't have to go around the car).

My first question is why are you driving. Isn't he taking the bus. He definitely should be able to unbuckle himself. My grandson at 3 could do it.

At my son's school the morning duty teachers do NOT open the door or unbuckle carseats. They direct traffic, say good morning when DS gets out of the car and usher them into the building.

My son (6) is still in a 5-point harness in my car. He buckles and unbuckles himself at this point, so when we're about two cars back from drop off point I just say "Okay, kiddo, get ready to get out of the car." and he unbuckles, puts on his backpack and gets ready to open the door and hop out.

There IS pre-K and PEP at his school so some younger kids get dropped off as well. Their parents typically just get out of the car, walk around and get the kids out.

Can I be honest here, without the risk of sounding harsh?
One of my biggest pet-peeves was when I was in line to drop my child off at school and I got in line behind one of the cars that took 5 minutes to get their child out. They'd get out, open car door, unbuckle child, get child out, go to trunk, get child's school bag and lunch or intrument out, walk child to sidewalk, squat down and talk with child, hug, kiss, talk some more, hug and kiss again, and then stand there waving to child as child walked into school and then climb back in car, buckle and drive away. In the meantime, 60 other parents are waiting to drop their kids off and manage to do so in a fraction of the time it took the other mom to do so. Most parents who are dropping off have somewhere else they need to be, work, dropping off of another child somewhere else etc. Please don't be one of those moms :)

Never did the aid tending the doors walk down and open the car or unbuckle a child. That is the parents job.

My suggestion to you if you aren't ready to switch your daughter to a booster, would be to park at the school and walk her in as some of the other drop off parents do. This way she can be unbuckled safely and you won't have to hold up the drop off line.

At our school they want the drop off to go as quickly and swiftly as possible. Most schools don't allow very much time for drop off and if they had to unbuckle every child they'd never get all them into school on time.

I always made my kids understand and obey the rule that the only time they are allowed without their seatbelt was when we were in line at school. They didn't undo it until we reached the line and they had to sit back in their seat the whole time, they weren't allowed to sit up in the seat. I have twins and both were able to understand this concept. Your going sooooo slow in the drop off line that it's really not that big of a deal.

At our school no one opens the car doors for the kids. That would take forever and kids would be late. Kids open their own car doors and go in the building on their own, unless you park in the parking lot and walk them to the door. If your child is still in a 5pt , unbuckle her in line before you get to the drop off area. DO NOT GET OUT OF THE CAR and go around and help her. This slows the line WAY down and makes the kids behind you late for school.

At our school the teachers just helped keep the flow of traffic going by opening and closing doors. You don't want to be stopped in the line for more than a few seconds otherwise the carpool line will take FOREVER.
If your child can't unbuckle herself you should park and walk her in.

Any delays are frowned upon. They have A LOT of kids to get out of their cars safely and into the school - imagine if everyone did what you want to do. The helpers pretty much just open & close the doors & that's it. I think you should unbuckle it before it's your turn to drop off.

Please everyone, as a courtesy to all the other parents dropping their kids off at the curb, make sure your kid is ready to go - backpack in hand, seat belt off, door unlocked, etc. It is incredibly inconsiderate to everyone else to cause a huge delay because you are unprepared.

I think it's also good for kids to know how to unbuckle their carseats & to open & close a car door. DD was doing both at 5, so there's no reason not to teach your kid to be self sufficient in this aspect. I'm kind of surprised that some are still opening doors for their kids.

Nope--not reasonable...not at our school anyway. It would take FOREVER for drop off if the attendants did that. She needs to learn to unbuckle, most likely!

Great question! The child should remain buckled until the car has absolutely stopped. You don't want to risk your little one flying into the window if the car behind you doesn't stop, etc. Not worth it. There was an accident in our car line 2 years ago, so that was sobering. 2 cars hit. Please stay safe!

We have the SK Radian carseat, too, for my 5-year-old in kindergarten. He is forward-facing (my 4.5 is still rear in that seat, but she's in preschool). When I stop my car (since to idle is bad for the car and the kids' air they breathe), he unbuckles and hops out. The teacher helper will help him unbuckle. If his coat is heavier, usually he needs a bit of help BUT this seat is pretty easy to undo. Note I never put him in a full winter coat in the carseat, for safety. It's by his feet or over him, and he grabs it on the way out.

We have a van so I open the sliding doors from the front. He used to get out the van trunk (we have 3 carseats in a row in the second row), but then one day the car behind actually hit the teacher. My son could easily be hit that way, so now he is outboard by the curb. I also can reach back to help if needed.

I think you'll find it's not that bad. Congrats on keeping your child harnessed! Mine is starting first grade next week, still in the same carseat harnessed. We love it!

I don't think rushing through is the answer. Once a child gets hurt, it's too late to go back in time. I see kids whose cars are still on the busy road, just sitting on their carseats (unbuckled). I always smile to myself at the parents who take a little longer, and have the child properly restrained. We all want our kids to safely get into the school. (But honestly, your child will get good at this, so she can be properly restrained AND get efficient). Good luck!

The most dangerous part is pulling out of the carline. Some cars want to go around others. It's kind of chaotic. Patience, please. :)

At my son's school, the line leading to the friend door is usually 1/2 a block to a block long. As soon as we get into that line, I tell him it's time to unbuckle.

The school asks that parents not get out of the cars, as this slows everything down and they want drop off to go as quickly as possible.

The monitors are very friendly and will help out if you really need them, but their main role is to make sure any children walking nearby are safe and to direct cars. Helping kids out of the cars kind of takes them away from their main task.

Are you ready to put your daughter in a booster seat instead of a 5-pt harness? That would make it a lot easier for her.

You'll find a routine! Try not to worry too much.

If she can't unbuckle herself, have her practice. I have our kids unbuckle as soon as we get into the driveup area and no longer on the street in front of the school. We are inching forward so it is doubtful anything is going to happen at that point.

Most likely, they will not unbuckle him. It is a quick go lane. AT 5, she should know how to unbuckle herself. once you pull up to the curb, she should be ready to go, book bag in hand, etc. The actual drop off should take no more than 15 seconds.

unreasonable expectation. At 5 your daughter will be going to school and should be able to unbuckle the seat when you are in the line and at the space where she will be getting out of the car. if you don't want her to unbuckle herself you should not get in the line but pull into the parking lot. But at that age she needs to be able to buckle/unbuckle herself or it will hold up the line. The only exception I would find to that rule would be if your child is handicapped in any way and not able to perform this. Just out of curiosity why is your child still in a 5 pt harness? Is it maybe time to move her into a booster carseat?

At our school, the teacher just stands at the door of the school to watch the kids come in. They do not come over to open/close the car door. At school age, your child should be able to do this himself.

Also, my school specifically tells parents not to get out of the car because it takes too long makes everyone late. And they do not allow parents to park and walk their kids to the door because tht interferes with the bus lanes. You must do the drop off line and stay in the car.

My child is still in a 5-point harness too. He can undo the top buckle himself, but not the bottom one. I reach back and unsnap the bottom buckle once we are within 2 or 3 cars from it being our turn to get out. Then he does the top one, and he gets himself out of the car, grabs his backpack, closes the car door, and runs in.

If you need to, practice a few time this week in front of your house so your child gets good at handling the door if he doesn't usually do this.

Sooooo not an answer to your question but I had to say Way to go on keeping your kiddo in a 5pt this long and not giving in to the peer pressure from others to get them in a booster!!!! My 6yr old is going to go back into her 5pt harness if I have to keep telling her to sit up and sit back in the backseat!!

I would also echo that I don't think that you should change from a 5-point harness just to please someone else in the car line. My son is 6 and still in one...I will have to switch him in the near future because of his size.

I would hate to use the car line. I actually use a before/after school program since I work during school hours. My son rides a daycare bus to and from school. From my perspective, the car line always looks to be a disorganzied hassle. I have actually scheduled a doctor's appointment for my son after school and timed it so that I could pick up from the daycare center rather than the school.

I think by 5 your child can unbuckle themselves, grab their backpack , get out and close the door. If not...start practicing. I would not leave them unbuckled or switch to a booster (those are even harder to buckle for the kids). My 3 year old can do all that except open the door.

I think it's great she is still in a 5 pt harness....just practice getting out of it as quickly as possible.

My son can buckle and unbuckle his car seat. I would think you could teach your daughter to do this fairly quickly. His Montessori car line included children ages 3-6, so yes the teachers in car line would buckle and unbuckle the smaller children and some of the kindergartners. I don't know about elementary school where the kindergartners would be the youngest, not the oldest. I do plan on my son staying in his 5 point restraint until he reaches 65 lbs. It is safer and I would not let myself feel pressured to switch to a booster to save other parents 15 seconds.

ETA- her child is in a 5 point restraint because it is SAFER. It will be time for her to move him to a less safe booster when he outgrows his current restraint (generally 65 lbs), he fits a regular seat belt or she decides she would like him to be less safe (don't see that one as likely).

In our elementary school there is no person letting the kids out of the cars. They are managing the kids crossing the driveway where their parents parked in the parking lot to get their kids out of their carseats.

I suggest you park then let her walk across to the doors. There should be a cross walk.

I think you need to ask someone at your school this question. Every place does things differently.

I've done drop-off/pick-up at the schools I've taught at, and we never touched the cars. Parents got out and got their kid out if necessary.

My daughter is also in a 5 pt. harness (going into K). I will take her in the building the first couple days and then she will ride the bus. If I were in your shoes, and had to drop her off, I would reach back to unbuckle her at the time of the stop, and allow her to climb out of her seat while I go around to open the door and make sure she was on the sidewalk walking towards the building before I climbed back in to leave. I'd also get my quick goodbye hug in. :)

My guess would be that teachers would prefer you did the safest drop-off possible in the quickest way possible.

I moved mine to a booster at that time for that reason.

Are you sure that as a kindergartener you can do "drop off?" We couldn't do that with my son. We had to park and walk him up to the meeting area. Also had to park and pickup.
The "kiss n go" lane (as we call it) is for kids that can get out of the car quickly. If your son can't undo his car seat then I think you need to park and help him out. The poor woman that ran our kiss n go never would have had time to stop and undo a bunch of kids out of their seat belts or help them strap back in at the end of the day.
L.

My youngest is still in the five point harness as well. Usually he can unbuckle himself pretty easily but sometimes has a little trouble. Regardless of the car seat issues I will be parking and walking my little guy to class. We have the drop off line too but I will use that when he is older. If time is an issue maybe get there a little earlier so you can park and get her to her class on time and still get to where you need to be? Oh, and I noticed you said she is your oldest which probably means getting other little ones out, ugh. I did that too but it was worth it to walk my guy up to his class and meet other moms and such.

We have a drop off line and pull up and unbuckle line. Could you park and walk her in?