Efficient Mom...

I'm a mom to 2 yo twin boys and I work full time. It took me a long time to figure out my routine and it was a lot of trial and error. One thing I've accepted is that i have to take my shower before the boys wake up. When I first went back to work, this meant I was getting up at 4:30 because the boys were very early risers. Now that they are a little older I'm able to sleep in to 5:45.

My boys also go to bed early - now it's around 7:00pm so I usually only have 2 - 2 1/2 hours with them in the evening. Not very much time. When I get home, all my attention is given to the boys. I don't clean, I don't do chores, 100% of my attention goes to them. During this time my husband is also giving all of his attention to the boys. I am lucky in that my husband does all of the cooking so he makes dinner :) It was hard at first to forget the world and other pressing needs and just focus on the kids, but I'm so glad I do this because it is the only way I'm able to form a relationship with them and they know they are important to me.

During the past 2 years I've also had to change my expectations. Cleaning is at the bottom of my to do list. My house is a mess! In fact my MIL is coming over today and the bathroom is disgusting. Oh well, life goes on. When I really need to, I am capable of planning ahead and getting things organized - but I've learned to let go and just go with the flow.

Good luck!

Bless your heart! You're just doing the best you can! I can only offer moral support since I'm a new mom, too. Best wishes for you and your little ones!

Bless you! I was just thinking how nice it is now that I can usually go to the bathroom without someone coming to talk to me, and my youngest is 11 . . . those are the days when they think you've disappeared behind that door! I admit I'd take a book and stay a little longer than necessary . . .

I would encourage you to focus some concentrated time with them and put the chores, etc. off until they go to bed, then be very strict with "you're in bed, I am not talking to you now" --realizing of course that this too is training taking place. There is no easy answer except to not try to do things during their couple hour window with you. Otherwise you'll get frustrated, and not get much done, while they don't get your attention either. Integrate them into what you have to do, "helping" cook, etc. The crock pot is your friend!

I used to be very scheduled with my son (my husband was gone Sunday through Friday), but I found that we didn't get much quality time together. Now I also have a daughter and we just go with the flow. We pretty much gave up on any kind of bedtime routine (which some people swear by). They get ready with me in the morning, including taking a shower with me. In the afternoons/evenings, we have a snack and play. They then watch a T.V. show while I'll make a quick dinner, and then we eat. After that, we get p.j.'s on and relax. If they're content playing, I'll clean up some. They are ready for bed by 7:30 or 8pm and we read a story and they pretty much go right to sleep (my son sometimes doesn't cooperate, though ;o) ). After that, I get things ready for the next day.

You'll find what works for you. Who cares if you're house is not clean. There will be time for that later :o).

Ah, motherhood...

You could try making yourself a list so that you have a specific chore you always to on a specific day -- that helps to reduce stress. Do you have a sitter during the day or are the kids in a daycare-type setting. If you have a sitter, you could have him/her start dinner and/or get the kids bathed and in pjs before dinner. (well, for the two year old at least.) Start using a slow cooker for dinners -- that saves some time.

I think coming up with a set bedtime routine may help a lot. First bath - then pjs - then hugs and kisses - then story - then lights out. Something like that.

Good luck! And know that we're all in the same boat!

HI B.- I hope you get some advice because I only have one child almost 2, and yet I seem to live your life. My little girl stands in the bathroom while I shower and as soon as the nozzle goes off she says, "all done"! And if I try to stand in the shower to breathe a little after I've cut the water off, she says, "come out mommy"!!! This may be the life of a single mother!