Educating a Child with Special Needs

Have you taken him to do an eye test? My son struggled so much in 3rd grade I did not know what to do anymore. The school district did all kind of tests and they were all negative. I was at my wits end so I thought about home schooling him. A home school parent suggested to have my son tested for eye tracking problems and so I did. He was positive. He couldn't function at school because he couldn't process any information given in paper. Eye therapy was provided and the eye problem corrected. His school performance has amazingly improved. He is now entering 7th grade. There are only a couple of doctors in the houston area that perform this test and therapy. I personally know Dr. Voss in Bellaire and Dr. Moffat in Magnolia - I have their info. if you are interested.
PB

There are so many ADD drugs now and lots of them take time to find the right dosage, you need to work with a school evaluator and a pediatrician who specializes in these cases and try everything!! It will take time and money, but it is so important you find the right drug for him- ADD does not go away with age so what you do now will improve his life drastically forever. ADD adults can't keep jobs, relationships, etc.... catch it before it is too late.

I agree that you should check with the school and see what they could offer and what they recommend.

If you think his ADD is what is holding him back there are lots of different ADD meds. Find a doctor that is familiar with the options and try different ones. I know medication might not be the answer, but if he does have a true attention disorder it might be worth experimenting. Most people I know say thaey had to try numerous different meds or doses before they found the right one for their child.

I agree with the poster who suggested different meds, all kids do not react the same way. I would also experiment with the dose, the same drug at a much lower dose may be fine.
I would not put him in the FLS class. It sounds like a class for the profoundly impaired. I doubt he will learn much and there are a lot of social reasons not to put him there.
Have him restested, along with vision and hearing. He doesn't sound like the diagnosis fits him. Middle school is hell for the average kid, being saddled with the "sped" label will just make it harder for him to fit in where he needs to. Testing takes about 3-4 hrs.
School will not be anxious to re-test him, you might find it easier and faster to pay for the testing by a private educational psychologist yourself. Your insurance may pick up a good portion, ask them who is on their list. I am thinking he is a kid who doesn't test well, he sounds too functional to have the labels they are putting on him.

Your plate is really full with school and work and 3 kids. I don't know how you do it all. Good luck with this and remember school is about academics for us, but not for the kids. This is their opportunity for socialization and it sounds like he needs that more than the math.

K.

If he has ADD, it often interfers with learning. Since they have so many distractions that they often cannot focus. There are many new drugs out there that don't turn kids into zombies. It seems as if your son has met with so many obstacles that he feels that he can never succeed and that also makes him adverse to learning.

My husband has epilepsy. He had several learning disabilities throughout his life. He had one teacher in Jr High who decided that come hell or high water, he was going to learn to read! Well, he did. He is a 'strange bird' as they say - he has a fairly high IQ but learning disabilities in math, writing and grammar so, he does not test well and couldn't pass a written exam. He reads very technical books, and understands really technical and psychological information but still reads very slowly. The seizures he experienced as a child (they are now controlled by medication) really screwed with his nervous system and now he has a heat sensititvity (kind of like having hot flashes only they are frequent and he never knows when they will happen) that renders him unable to work so he gets SSI/SS. He is a marvelous photographer, but the seizures also played with the executive function in his frontal lobe so he could never work for anyone but he does research for his aunt who is an expert witness, and we make life charts for her. We also take his photos (and mine) and put them on cards that we sell. I happen to be a Director of Religious Education for our small church and we live fairly well.

When he was 30 something, his neurologist tested him and found that he also has ADD - he put him on Adderall XR 25 and it made a big difference in his concentration.

I would say with your son, start back at the beginning. Get him on some ADD med that will work for him and find out what he likes to do and what he is good at. This child needs to experience success. You might try homeschooling (which I am not always in favor of) this child. Somewhere, there is an answer. I am sorry that I could not have been more helpful - but I wanted you to know that there is success out there and that he can live a happy, fulfilled life.

I don't know anything about the medical part of this. Others will advise well there. Two other things came to mind though.

One is that when my son was playing soccer in Junior High there was a boy on his team (not a school team, a league) who was severely ADD, with another diagnosis I don't remember. His dad said that keeping him in soccer and a martial art (I think it was tae kwon do (sp) ) made all the difference for him. It gave him something to focus on and something else to excell at. In the martial art, he only competed with himself, so there was no comparison with what was "normal" or expected.

Also, I had a boy with the ADD diagnosis as a young piano student. Music lessons made a huge difference for him. Again, he was only competing with himself (music isn't really competition, but he only had himself to measure against). When he got home he would teach his mom what he had learned in piano. After a few months, his mom told me that his math grades were getting much better, enough that the teacher asked what they were doing to cause such a change. He had begun to see the patterns in math and compared them to what he was finding in music. If you can find a kind and patient piano teacher this might be something to consider. Also, the one-on-one is good in this situation.

I wish I had more thoughts that might help you. It sounds like you're doing all the right things. I hope others have some good insight into the medical and educational components of this.

Please check out the website and organization www.feingold.org. I have my kids on this diet and it is working wonders for them. They are not "special needs", but 2 of them have ADHD and we refuse to medicate. This is a diet and health philosophy of eating only all natural foods. It is easy to implement and with everyones health concerns these days, easier to find products that are all natural.

Also, have you tried flax seed oil? During the school year, I give my middle boy 2 squirts from the bottle. It tastes kinda like grass. It really improved his overall efforts at school.

As far as math...that is a tough one especially at this age. Are the regular math teachers willing to work with him to make sure he does not fall behind? Esteem is so hard at his age...I cannot offer any help on that one.

Good Luck to both of you!!!

Hi C.,

I am a retired OT and worked in public schools for 13 years. I find it interesting that your son was tested by a neurologist in the 4th grade, diagnosed (in addition to his speech/language issues) as ADD, then tested in the 6th grade and found to have a low IQ. I question these latter results! You say he is "very high functioning"... but you don't say in which areas-social skills, etc.? I wonder if he has a normal or close to normal IQ but his speech/language issues, ADD, and learning disabilities are causing him to test lower than his true potential. Have you considered private testing by a pediatric neuropsychologist?

It sounds to me like the school system, and possibly the medical community, have failed your son. And, to give credit to medications that DO work for some kids, it takes trial and error, time, patience, observing, and communication between your child, parents, doctors, teachers, and therapists to find the right one, the right dosage, timing, etc.

I agree with you that he sounds too high functioning for the Functional Life Skills class, even for just math. The last thing your son needs is lower self esteem. He needs to be involved in situations academically, socially, and extracurricularly in which he can have fun, be challenged, have leadership experiences, make friends, and "shine." If he recently changed to middle school, then you know how tough this can be on any kid with the complicated schedule changes, peer pressure, teasing, threats, hormones, etc.

I suspect that your son's needs can be better addressed better all the way around--in school and outside school- and that, once they are, he will be able to make headway with bridging his gaps developmentally and academically, and more closely approach his full potential.

My suggestions are the following, and no doubt respected others currently in these fields can give you even better ones (Special Education teachers; Speech and Language Pathologists; neuropsychologists; psychologists; parents of kids with ADD/LD/Speech issues; occupational therapists; cognitive therapists; adapted P.E., Music and Art teachers, school counselors, etc.).

1. Get proactive in ways you haven't before.

a. Having your husband onboard can certainly be helpful-when you are a team, the school will take more notice.

b. Network with other parents of kids with similar issues. Find them at your son's school, in your community, and on the Internet in Google Groups, Yahoo Groups, on blogs and in forums. Parents are probably your best resource, as they tend to band together for common causes and will share information honestly and freely. They can also be a HUGE emotional support and your son may find friendships with some of their kids. Perhaps some of these parents are also active in the PTA.

2. Call a special ARD meeting at your son's school with the Director of Special Education, the principal, the school counselor/psychologist, his therapists, and as many of his teachers as possible. Tell them you don't feel your son's needs are being properly addressed, and you feel a brainstorming session is in order to resolve the issues (take your compiled list along). Ask them what they would do if your son was their son. Tell them you are concerned that he seems to be getting farther and farther behind, yet you see him function higher in other areas (have this list too). Tell them about his self esteem issues in the FLS/math class, and request a positive change.

If you have had your son re-tested by a private neuropsychologist in the meantime, share that report/suggestions and tell them everyone needs to work together as a team to meet as many of these as possible (the ones you and your husband agree with, and those y'all feel are viable). Make sure they get on the IEP. Be reasonable, yet assertive. If your son's needs cannot be met at this campus, the Special Education Director may suggest another campus. Make sure you and your husband visit this suggested campus and speak with the teacher(s) of the suggested classrooms, and observe the classrooms before agreeing to send your son there. Know your rights via TEA. Many parents of kids in Special Education are well-versed in this area.

3. Get as much private help for your son as you can afford, and/or that you can convince your private insurance to pay for (experienced physicians and therapists know how to word things in their reports to help with this) . At 13, your son's brain is still developing but time is of the essence for private therapy to make an impact. If his gross motor, fine motor, and visual motor skills are below his expected age levels, then contact a private OT who is certified in Sensory Integration. If he still has issues with Speech and Language, get him to a private therapist. Go to a Sylvan Learning Center and talk to them. Perhaps a cognitive therapist can help. Make sure these adjunct professionals communicate with each other and with the school personnel when necessary.

4. Social skills and self esteem are crucial. If he is lacking in these areas, perhaps you can find an extracurricular activity he enjoys that can enhance these areas. Show up to support him. I was a swimmer, and was amazed at how many kids succeeded in this sport that were clumsy on land. No one sits on the bench in swimming. I once had an OT student in 6th grade who was taking Karate, and the instructor used him as a bad example. Through role playing, he learned how to speak up to the teacher to tell him he didn't like that, and the teacher stopped. We must find ways to empower our children so they don't become victims, and this is especially true of kids in Special Education. Capitalize on his strengths and give him every opportunity to practice them.

5. Schools are limited in what they can do. Expect them to do their job, help them when you can (it's a team effort), but don't expect them to do more. Your son's best assets in the school are great teachers. Find out who they are and do everything in your power to get him in their classes. See if the counselor actually does counseling, and if he/she is good, perhaps your son can be helped here as well.

Best of luck!

Oh sweetie! reading your story is like reading my own... my oldest son now 10 went thru almost the same thing. BUT, I fought the school system, doctors, and anyone else that demmed him MR. My son is very high functioning. And very brilliant. But always tested low. Well make a long story short he had Aspergers syndrome. Please look it up.. Aspergers is a social issue, which in turn Jake thought if he was "stupid" the teacher would not call on him. Jake is now on a medication that works wonders. He still doesnt like to be called on in class but, I had a disscussion with the teacher and she will ask him about the lesson as all the other children are headed out side. It depends on the teacher that he gets if we have a great year.. Please keep me updated..

I'm mom to a 15-yr-old, a 10-yr-old and a 7-yr-old and can relate in a very big way. I felt torn between should I homeschool or send them to public school.

I am seeing a psychologist for myself! That shows how torn up I was about the issue. Talk to your child's teachers, school counselors, and everyone who has spent time with him. Look for things you can help with from home. Or maybe you can give the teachers some clues that they need to better help your child.

You may find a support group in your area, too.

I echo what others have said:

eye tracking (seen therapy for this work wonders)

diet (get The Kid Friendly ADHD/Autism cookbook)

various meds (look into enzymes and taurine)

homeschooling...it might not be possible for you but it might make a complete difference in your child

My uncle is autistic and was in special needs programs with much lower functioning children. He finally dropped out of school. He is EXTREMELY bright (with electronics and gifted musically,) but tests poorly and was considered MR. He's been self employed for decades. He could never work for someone else. If he had been homeschooled I'm certain that things would have been different for him academically. I have a "higher functioning" form called Asperger Syndrome. My mom started homeschooling me when I was in fourth grade. I think if kept in school I would have dropped out like my uncle did. Instead, I graduated and got a certificate in child development.

I have 3 autistic children. My oldest has AS and the next two have classic autism. Truly, I consider my Aspie lower functioning then her siblings. I understand what you mean by the disability not being so obvious. Sometimes I think things would be easier for my children if they had something like Downs or were in a wheel chair, because an invisible disability leads itself to lack of empathy in others around them and difficulty getting assistance. But I homeschool them and that seems to be helping. I also have them on a gluten free diet, which made a world of difference in my kids. Gluten acts like a drug in them and makes it difficult for them to function (Two of them can't talk while consuming a typical wheat diet.) They don't have artificial anything in their foods, either. Milk doesn't seem to affect them negatively, except when taken at dinner time then they tend to pee in bed so they drink water at night instead of milk.

Please feel free to PM me. My heart goes out to you and your son.
S., mom to 4 Earth angels and 5 Heavenly treasures

i have a 12 year old that is adhd going to the 7th grade.
he is currently being treated by medicaion and monitor by a wonderful doctor at delcphin center (not sure of the spelling)any way his doctor tried different meds and different dosage before we found the right meds for him. the meds he is on does not make him like a zumbie nor does it make him paranoid or angry. if the meds your son was on made him like a zumbie then his dosage wa,s too high. my son currently goes to an all boys school(free)so is not the boy there on meds or wild, the teachers work him and the other students. you have to build a positive and close relationship with your son's teachers and they must give you daily to weekly feedback on behavior and interaction with his teachers and his peers. what activities does not son like? what is his favorite subject? what are his strenghs and weakness? what is his likes and dislikes. does your husband spend a lot of time with him. I asked this questions because these are questions we had to find out about my son and i had to starting letting my husband take care over because he was becoming a young man. God Bless you and your family and let us pray together for your son.

When you had your child tested, who administered the test? Was it the school? If so, you should have an independent evaluation done of your child's cognitive abilities. Review the results of both tests very carefully and look for any differences/similarities. Once that is done, request an ARD/IEP meeting at the school and take the results of the independent evaluation with you. Everyone needs to be on board for educating your son in the most meaningful way for him. If he truly is MR, then you are wise to address this now. School will only get harder from here. His teachers will need to make modifications for him and those will be decided in the ARD meeting. HTH!

here is a list of private schools that might be more suited for your son. You said you tried charter schools have you tried any of the University of Texas University Charter Schools ? I work for one of the schools. I have a lot of experience with these types of unique children. I would be happy to talk with you. Just send me an email. Best of luck.
Have you looked into Montesory? Most are elementary but a few go higher.
C.

Eco school
Ace school
Austin discovery school
Austin school for the arts
The cabelli school 
Harmony

Are you in San Antonio?

If yes, there is a great Special Needs program at University United Methodist Church, on DeZavala at I-10. Phone ###-###-####.

They can provide some direction for parents of elementary and middle school kids, AND they have a special needs high school on campus near the church! It is a fabulous school.

It sounds like you are a great mom! This also sounds a little familiar... my little brother has a similar story- struggled with math and reading through all of school, speech delay, poor IQ testing...the school tried to label him MR at one point and my parents fought that label tooth-and-nail. They even had teachers tell them that my little brother would "never be able do anything" as young as 1st grade, though like your son, he did not display any disability other than with academics- particularly math and reading. I am speaking to my mom about this while I write what she tells me. She is very passionate about this issue as she lived it day and night all through his education. She takes great issue with the "inclusion setting" as the slightly delayed kids become further behind due to lack of help in the classroom with low functioning kids. The teachers cannot handle the low-functioning combined with higher functioning kids with disabilities. She has repeated several times that though these two boys seem very similar, they are not the same.
Her best reccommedation is to be there as much as possible. I understand you work during the day and school at night, but maybe your husband or you could take turns being in the classroom. If this is not possible- having explicit written communication daily with the teacher with exactly what was worked on and what homework is needed so you can reinforce it every single night at home.
Unfortunately, the public school system has major flaws when it comes to struggling kids, and it is your job as a parent to be the teacher he doesn't have during the day. Tutoring and other reinforcements are extremely important all through school.
My little brother is now 25, has a full time job, 2 associates degrees, and right now is on a 13-hour road trip (by himself) to visit friends in New Mexico! We are all very proud of him. He had a much more difficult road than his 3 older siblings, but continues to amaze us with his knowledge, skills, compassion, and faith in God.
Praise God for parents like you who care so deeply about their kids' success.
My mom's (and my) heart goes out to you through this- just be his advocate and be in prayer about what is best for your son.
Blessings and faith,

Hi C.. I wish I had an answer for you. I have an 11 year old son that has a very similar situation. Due to all of his problems socially and academically he has also been in resource classes. My son was misdiagnosed for many years. He was first diagnosed as ADHD and then they added bipolar after he began taking medications. The medicines were making the problems worse instead of helping. We had a QEEG done and it showed that he has some brain injury. He is now off all of his meds and in Neuro feedback therapy since February. I just have no idea how to get him caught by up in school. I've tried a charter school, private school, resource classes, tutoring, and homeschooling. I'm at a complete loss. All I can say is hang in there and keep trying. I have seen many improvements socially just need to get caught up academically.

Hi C., I know your frustration. My son started with ADD meds when he was 6, but he also had prozac. Long story short, he is not only extremely ADD but is also bipolar and an Asbergers child(sp just left my head). However the school district has NEVER been able to get an accurate IQ, always 68-70 and nobody believed that score. I did have a diagnostician who my son got along with (I was teaching at that time) test him and low and behold it was 90. She felt very strongly that it was higher but she said he is hesitant because of self esteem. That was right before he went into 5th grade. Next year he mentally bottomed and started hospitalizations. Got him worked up, going ok, when at 13 he really bottomed. He was on too many meds and over the next year we, with a good dr, figured out that the ADD meds was a big trigger for him. Got the meds adjusted, had a private dr test him for Asbergers and yes he is. Now this is where fun began with the School. They would NOT acknowledge the Asbergers as "that is a clinical dr's test not educational. And according to TEA guidelines he did not meet the requirements to receive services for autism (not Asbergers or broad spectrum autism just autism) when they tested him." They acknowledge him as emotionally disturbed, not bipolar, although they said that is pretty much the same. It was a BATTLE. They must educate your child in the CHILDS least restrictive environment. Even if he does not have any other diagnoses by the school, only ADD, the IEP must be working (and do not accept 70% put in 80%) or they have to come up with plan/class that will educate him. He spent many years in SDC, and even a separate building of 18 students (Pathways Program), K-12,with small, small, classrooms (district closed the program $$$). The Special Ed department should have specialist who can help the classroom teacher set up a program for him. It does work, but I had to fight them the whole way. It got better in HS with the Special ED folks. But the difference in my Son was so worth it. He is kind of looking forward to school, talks about College (wow, never would of thought that would roll off his lips), and most important I have seen him progress academically, emotionally, and socially. Stay on them. Your son may do better in a SDC, Social Development Class.

First don't panic. Try to start over from the beginning. Forget what the doctors told you and go back to the teachers and your house. Make a list of things that this son does that is different than your other children. Try to be objective and pretend you are observing a child you don't know too well. After you make this list do some research. I would start with Asperger's if I were you.

It took me 13 years to finally put a name to my son's disorder. He has Asperger's syndrome. They called him ADHD, mentally retarded and all sorts of other things before we got a diagnosis. My son also has developed a seizure disorder, and that has affected his short term memory and his testing scores at school. Now that we know all what is going on things are SOOOOOO much better. You will have to fight for it and insist. I had to get a private diagnosis before the school system agreed with the findings after doing their own tests. This year my son will finally be in a special program at school directly designed for this bright high functioning kids with some social and memory issues. Trust your heart and good luck.

First session free! C. I have the ans. to your problem. Expert advice for MamaSource viewers Use Bobbie's Magic(Miracles about God in Christ) We have Proof it works. Simple at no extra cost!! visit ###-###-#### or eme: ____@____.com I am a former Classroom Teacher for HISD 20 years + and have advice that works. Memory is the KEY! A word a day will keep the DOCTOR away. K.E.Y. Keep Educating YOU! I specialize in An Anointed Acronym (one word) to change your life. just write: Dear S.

Hi C.,
Wow, you got lots of good responses!
I too have a child that began to have problems school. We went the same route...had her extensively tested by Nancy Neussbaum in 5th grade. She had mild ADD and working memory issues. We finally put her on meds. and didn't get good result. WE finally took her to the Crossroads Institute for what's called brain mapping. There we learned from DR. Curtis Cripe (a former NASA scientist) 85% 0f kids labeled ADD are not ADD and medication will not help their brain weaknesses. Brain mapping (called NeuroGeniSys) highlight areas of the brain that are lower functioning and a program is developed specifically tailored to strengthen those areas. Here is their website
http://www.crossroadsinstitute.org/neurogenisys.html
I am not sure they still have an office in Austin but the program was very helpful to my daughter.
I encourage you to keep digging keep looking for solutions for your son. There is a lot of new information out there the schools don't even know about.
I hope this helps with your search for some answers for your son.
God Bless,
A.
PS. 7th grade is also a very difficult time as kids go into adolescence they begin to use a different part of the brain which is just beginning to develop. It continues to develop until about age 25. I am sure you can google this and learn more.