Eatting and Yelling 2 Problems

S.,

There doesn't need to be any yelling or fighting. You simply say "This is what we are having for dinner." Don't make anything special for him, if he eats thats great, if he refuses.....then oh well...no snacks until the next meal. Eventually he will get hungry enough to eat what is offered to him. I think the key is to stand strong in the beginning and to remain consistent.

I have a 6 year old too...he was not at all a good eater since he is born ..picky in eating things too...
Now a days i have observed that when he helps me in the kitchen atleast a bit when cooking dinner,I will tell him wow you made the dinner and he thinks that he made it and he eats very fast by himself with out me yelling like you do...try this...some times it works..Ask him politly can you help me make dinner i will tell you the reciepe ...actually you will cook but with a little help from you kid thats all you will see much difference...believe me...

Don't even make it an issue next time it's time to eat serve him his food, he will likely complain and then if he says he doesn't want to eat say that's ok you don't have to eat but if you don't you are not going to eat until the next meal. If it's dinner, then poor him he won't get to eat until breakfast.
This may be very hard for you I did a 2yr old version of this with my daughter a few weeks ago when she got real picky all of a sudden and now she will eat everything again.
Your son will not starve himself this is just a battle of the wills. Do not allow him to have any snacks or anything between meals if he didn't eat his lunch or dinner etc... I think you get the point. He's just controlling you and you need to win :-)

This way you don't yell and you win.

As some of the other moms have already stated, pick your battles. I have that same 6 year old, but have been dealing with it since he was 4. He will not eat much meat, other thatn chicken nuggets and hot dogs. I buy all white meat nuggets and bake them in the oven, and buy kogels hot dogs, that is what he will eat. He also is a grilled cheese eater, he could have them 3 x's a day if allowed or turkey bologna, cheese and butter. Thing is I also give him applesauce, yogurt, fruit, raw carrots (only veggie he will eat for now) along with and milk. He eats, and we are not stressed over what he WONT eat. We both win.

Our oldest was the same way, only we battled, struggled, yelled. As children grow their tastes change just as adults do. He will now sit down and enjoy a steak dinner with us, loves shrimp, you name it. So I guess my moral of the story(experience) is as long as he is getting what he will eat and other nutritional foods, don't worry be happy mom! :-)

Don't have any "junk" in the house, then it isn't an option. Anyone would rather eat cookies and chips over broccoli and celery. When he wants a snack say, "would you like an apple or some carrots?" When it is dinner and he doesn't want what you make... "this is dinner... you will probably be hungry when you go to bed if you don't eat dinner, but that is your choice." He will probably think that he won the first time he gets up from the table without having to eat the wretched peas, but when he gets hungry and complains at 9:00 that he is hungry, "Oh, your dinner is wrapped on a plate in the fridge, would you like me to heat it up in the microwave for you so you won't have to be hungry all night?"
Just refuse to argue. If you have rules like, I only make one dinner-take it or leave it, then that is the rule and you don't need to argue. If he whines, don't give in and get him something else.
One other thing, kids like dipping food. If you give him veggies he can dip in some low-fat dressing, he make be more likely to eat them. Also, a little cheese or butter on top won't hurt if it gets him to eat it.
Good luck!
***Deceptively Delicious is a great book for sneaking veggies into kid friendly meals.

Hey S.,

Our rule here at the house is if it's dinner time, and my 6 year will not eat I say: "Breakfast will be in the morning" plus he will also not get his nightly treat if dinner is not eaten. If he choses not to eat Lunch, then I say the next meal will be at...and so on. If he does not eat the main meal then there are no treat/snack in between meals. If he misses a meal or 2 it's not the end of the world, it will teach him that you are not an line cook at a restaurant making food to order.
Good luck

Kid's appetites are not consistent. He mayhave no appetite now, but as he is about to go through a growth phase, he will eat everything. Don't give him the nuggets, I think they are addicting and they don't taste like real chicken. Hto dogs, if low fat, are a decent alternative (I think), look into kosher low fat ones, then it will be beef instead of pork. Don't bother to yell, it hasn't worked anyways. Use the suggestions the other mom's have, and I bet it will diffuse the situation. Good luck

Lots of good opinions already. I use the if you don't eat what on your plate, then that is your bedtime snack. No treats unless you eat a "good" dinner (not all, just give it a good try).

One thing that no one has mentioned yet is that he could help you make dinner. At 6 he can do a lot. My kids are more willing to eat something that they have helped make.

Hello S.,

I am sorry you are having such a time with your son. I have 3 boys ranging from 8-11 and I have been ( and still am ) in your shoes..

As you may know, our tastes change throughout our life.. I can remember when I was a kid, I hated certain things.. now, I absolutely love them. So, that's part of it, also, at the age of your son, it is a control issue too..

We worry that our children don't get enough nutrition and we want to force good food on them.. However, this may be a better approach.

With my oldest boy ( my most "finicky ) I put veggies on the table every night. He complains that he doesn't like this or that. My husband and I tell him this. You MUST eat 1 tablespoon of whatever veggie is on the table. or nothing later.. no deserts, no chips, no more meat from dinner. NOTHING. I will guarentee you he WILL be hungry. Don't yell though, Just be calm and tell him it is your job to be sure he is healthy. If he "has a fit" , calmly send him to his room to do that. He may yell, scream, ignore as much as possible ( don't argure back ). eventually, he may say " mom? ca I come out?? You tell him, well, do you feel you are ready to talk calmly? He may say "yes". Tell him that if he can not, he will be asked to go back into his room. Ask him what part of that food, he doesn't like. Maybe have a discussion about veggies he is willing to eat. Like, " I will tell you what. If you HAD to heat one veggie, what would it be... then make a deal with him. for the next 2,3 days make only that one. He must eat 1-2 tablespoons ( tell him ahead of time ). Maybe next week ask him is there another veggie you are willing to tolerate? Be sure to always talk calmly and lovingly.. don't feed that fire.. When he is NOT calm.. you decide not to converse with him. Always smile and tell him you love him, but that you are not going to argue with him. eventually, he will try a little here and there. Be sure you are always setting a good example too.. I found my boys ALL prefer RAW veggies, so most nights, I put a tray of carrrots and celery and brocholi on the table and put out the ranch.. If they don't want my cooked veggie, they may choose the raw ones.. I hope this helps.. A.

Other veggies you could try - boil cauliflower for about 10 minutes, drain, put butter and salt on - do the same for broccoli too (cook five minutes). Also, what about raw carrots and cucumber slices - he might like those. Would he try a casserole - could you put some stuff together in a slow cooker before you go to work and let it cook all day? What about spaghetti and meatballs - that's kind of fun. Hamburgers? good luck - Alison

My son (almost 7) did this, it's a power struggle. He has figured out what gets you riled up and will push that button :-D It's completely age appropriate.

So here is what I did. I removed all the "junk" food from the house.

I served healthy meals breakfast lunch and dinner with a snack of a peice of fruit or veggie with dip daily

He had the choice to eat what is served or not eat. If he chose not to eat it that's fine, but he HAD to sit at the dinner table until the rest of the family is finished. I did not yell or make demands, just calmly told him that this is what is for dinner, he could eat it or not. If he got up from the table before everyone was finished eating I told him to sit, or I physically brought him back to the table.

I think it took all of a day and a half for my almost 7yr old to figure out I wasn't messing around anymore.

Stop yelling. He is winning the fight. Make dinner and if he doesn't want to eat, there's always peanut butter. At 6 he can make his own sandwich. Just don't buy the junk food and he'll have to eventually eat what you make for him or what is in the house. If he is in school, make sure he is eating his lunch there as well. He may just be full and not ready to eat, so the battle will continue. Don't let him run all over you though.

Oh,S., you sound so frustrated! And this kid sounds like one who can give you a run for your money! I think it's time for a whole new program with him, focussing far less on what he eats and doesn't eat and trying to enjoy being together at mealtime. He's made this into a big issue where he has a lot of control and gets a lot of attention, even tho it's negative. A lot of kids go thru weird food things. I would try to work out a meal plan with him, even cooking together, but not force him to eat and not yell. Lighten up and it will pass quicker. Maybe come up with some fun things you guys can do together that are free or nearly so, like the library or maybe a community sport or other program. If you live in a place where you can plant a garden, plan one out with him for when the weather warms up. Make a scrapbook with him - you can probably get the stuff discounted at your job.

I doubt he'll starve. He needs to feel some control over his life at this age and he's found an issue that really pushes your buttons. Pull out of the battle cause you can't win it this way and you don't want it to go on for years. Relax and enjoy your son. Maybe you can make tacos, pancakes or something together for dinner. Good luck!

If there is no junk in the house to eat, he doesn't have the option. Stop buying the junk and he will eat what you give him.

I am going through this with my 3 yr. old. I borrowed "Deceptively Delicious" by Jessica Seinfield from my library. I now pureer veggies and put them in stuff. I also do not give options. If he doesn't eat what's for dinner he gets nothing else for the night. He can go back to his plate if he's hungry. Last night he said "I don't like that" (pancakes and sausage) when I know darn well he does. So I said he could go in his room until he was ready to eat. He said OK and came back about 10 min. later and ate. Don't get me wrong we still battle over what to eat but sometimes I win. LOL

I have advice for the yelling. I have a very strong willed 3yro who wants things her way and I try to remain calm and firmly tell her "I am not asking you if you want _____ I am telling you that you are going to ______." It usually helps. The other thing that I have started doing is when I ask her to do something and she resists or starts to argue I make her say "yes mommy" and thet will difuse the situation and she usually listens.
Good Luck!
Blessings, K.

S. B,

I guess you could ask yourself -- is the fight really worth it? I use to think that my kids had to eat what I put out to eat -- that's how my mom used to enforce. However, I have found that it's ok to pick your battles. I'm sure he is not starving. Maybe just try taking the fight out of it. Again, I know that may be hard to do because us parents want our children to eat, we want them to eat well, etc. but I feel most of the time we worry what everyone else will think - right? Like you said you have the veggies and food he likes so what else can you really do. We know as adults, when were hungry and when were not and if we like something or not... So do our kids. We all tend to think that if we don't make them do this or that were going to have spoiled kids or something? However, there just like us and sometimes they just don't like something. I think you will be amazed the turn around when you just forget about trying to force the issue. We can't make someone do something and it just becomes a control issue and struggle when we try.

Take a breath smile and relax. He'll eat when he's hungry.

Ya know what...This might sound cruel, but when its dinner time, you tell him this is dinner. If he is hungry enough, he'll eat it and if he goes to bed hungry it won't hurt him. I had the same problem and it works after awhile. He knows you'll yell or make him something else. Don't get into that habit. You will never break it.Good Luck.

My 3 year old has similar eating habits; this is what my husband and I did and it's worked a little bit:

Put all of the junk food up where he cannot see it or reach it; don't even let him know you bought it.
Second, when you make dinner, tell him that he needs to eat at least 5 bites of meat, 5 bites of vegetables and 5 bites of anything else you put on his plate; and by bites, I mean he has to chew and swallow. If he still refuses to eat, try making a game out of it; my son loves Cars and Scooby Doo, so we'll tell him, "Find the black knight ghost and eat him up!" usually, it works. If that doesn't work, tell your son very clearly, and very calmly (calm is key, something I don't always stick to) that he does not get anything else to eat or drink (if you've given him a drink, take it away because kids will fill up on it) until he eats the number of bites you've asked to eat. Finally, what I learned on supernanny is that if you are done eating and he's still fighting that he needs to stay at the table until he has eaten what you've requested or until bed time comes, which ever comes first. You on the other hand, go watch tv, or read a book somewhere other than the table. It may take awhile, but eventually, he'll get the hint. Also, my son who is not a meat eater, loves tacos ... A pound of hamburger, a packet of ortega taco seasoning (not spicy!) and a bag of tortilla chips ... add some cooked white rice and heated up frozen corn and it's super yummy and filling so you have leftovers. :) It's one of my son's favorite meals.
Good luck!