I have a four year-old son with a November birthday, he turned four last week. He had a checkup with his pediatrician today and she mentioned that she thought he would be ready for kindergarten next year. He's a bright kid, but I had assumed that since he is a boy that keeping him on the traditional schedule as far as starting school would be in his best interest. His doctor, however voiced some concern over us waiting 2 years to send him to school. (The cutoff date for our district is age 5 by September 10.) She stated that bright kids are sometimes done a disservice by being made to wait to start kindergarten when they are ready academically because too much emphasis is placed on maturity. She also mentioned that in schools where there isn't a plan for challenging kids who are academically advanced, holding them to the normal schedule may create a problem because now you have a kid who is bored in school. If you move him up a grade you have created the same issue you would have starting school early.
Just some info, my son can read, add and subtract small numbers (1 through 10), count to 100, write his name, I think most of the things you learn in kindergarten, at least from my memory, he knows. He is pretty much where you would expect for a 4 year-old boy in terms of maturity and socialization. He is currently in a pre-K program 3 days/week, and started preschool at 2 1/2.
So, I am interested in thoughts and opinions from moms who have been here, and either sent kids early or waited. How did you decide what to do? Are you happy with your decision? How is your child doing in school? Also, any educators out there willing to share your wisdom and experience I would appreciate it. I know I don't have to decide anything right now, I am just looking for some insight, since I hadn't really considered this possibility before.
Thanks!
Thank you everyone who has taken the time to answer so far. I really appreciate all your thoughts and opinions. To answer a few questions brought up in your responses, yes, our school district does allow for early enrollment in kindergarten. A student seeking to enroll early needs the approval of the school board. I have no idea what it takes to get approval, but it is at least a theoretical possibility. No, sports are not terribly important to our family, we will let our son decide if he is interested in playing sports when the time comes, but I'm not sure the idea of keeping him out of school so that he will be bigger and better able to compete in athletics is one that appeals to me. I understand the argument, I just don't want academics to come second to athletics.
I am not sure about the options as far as a gifted program at our local school. I will need to do some research as far at that goes. I know that when I was in school I was removed from my class during reading and worked crosswords while the other kids learned to read. The same was true for math class, I had an aide who gave me more challenging work, separate from my classmates. I always liked school, loved to learn and didn't spend the entire day bored. On the other hand, my sister (6 years younger) went to a different school, didn't have access to the same sort of enrichment programs I had and her educational experience in K-3 was no where near as positive as mine. She eventually skipped a grade, but I think the boredom she experienced in her first few years of school really impacted her attitude toward learning in general. I don't want that for my kiddo.
Many of you have made really good points, on both sides of the issue, and have given my husband and I lots to think about and discuss. I am thrilled to have all this information to consider, thanks to you all.
I would send him, he sounds very ready. It's easy to take him out if he doesn't work out.
As for Lady and her twins, twins commonly develop a bit more slowly in social skills, so holding them back, for her, makes sense.
I would NOT send him early. He's going to need the socialization as well as additional academics besides just what he's learned already. Once he starts school officially he's going to be attending for at least the next 12-16 years. Let him be a kid that can play not worry about academics for a while. He won't wither away or lose the knowledge he already has.
As a mom AND a former 1st grade teacher, I'd say keep him out another year. Regardless if he's a boy or a girl, 4 years old is too young to go to kindergarten. He sounds like he'd be ready academically, but those little kiddos mature quite a bit from 4 to 5, and we force so much school on them as it is, let him stay home another year and be a kid for a while.
I teach at a high school, and it is very difficult (especially on boys) to be young, less physically mature, and overlooked by the girls (or worse, pitied by them, "awwww...look how cute he is!". It sometimes also leads to less academic success as they are emotionally not ready for that environment. Some do fine, most struggle. Just something to think about.
do you want your child to be the youngest one when the kids are hitting puberty, driving, graduating, etc.? maturity is still something to consider.
My kids were a tiny bit older when they started. 5 months older. And the pre-school teacher wanted me to hold my younger child. I didn't. I sent him and he did just fine.
You say your son can read and do numbers. He goes to school three days a week now. Honestly, I hope he isn't bored in kindergarten! I would go ahead and send him if they will allow it. In some school districts you need to turn 5 by a certain date. Besides, if you see it isn't right for him, you can pull him.
Go with your gut.
Don't do it. As a first grade teacher, I have seen many young children, boy especially, struggle. Sure this year he might be ready for kinder but as time passes and grades require more and more of the students will he still be ready. He will always be at a disadvantage to the older kids.
I fully disagree with your doc. I am familiar with 7 different kids from 7 different walks of life that ALL had pretty big issues with being put in Kindergarten early. They were all like your son, WAY ahead of themselves academically, but EVERY one of them were at their age-level socially. Every one of them eventually became painfully withdrawn or flat out had a major lack of confidence socially and even had trouble with confidence academically later down the road.
What I would do, is keep him on track with Pre-K for the rest of this year and next, then look into any magnet schools or private schools in your area that specialize in gifted kids. In reality, even if he went to a regular Kindergarten, and spent a year or two being a kid and learning how to "learn" and enjoy learning rather than the pressure of being super-kid he would be great. These teachers typically recognize when a kid is very advanced and the schools have programs to help them excel.
Good luck!
I dont normally reccomend doing things early, but in this case, you were adviised by your dr. He is more than ready academically and you say he is socially mature. I would go for it. Waiting to put him in later will definately be boring. He will be so far ahead of the other kids he wont get anything out of it.
Hi--
I have a July birthday. We did lots of research and here's the results:
1. The pediatrician said she'd never heard of a family that regretted holding a child back. She had, however, had plenty of families that wish they did hold their child.
2. Boys grow slower than girls as it is. If he's young, once he hits middle school being behind could definitely effect his emotional well-being.
3. Being the youngest in the class is also not good for sports---my husband's best friend was an October Birthday and he wished his parents had held him back so he would have been bigger.
4. I was a late September birthday. They put me in because, like your son, I was academically advanced. They almost held me back after kindergarten because I wasn't emotionally ready, but they felt that I was too academically advanced to keep me in kindergarten. While I always did well at school, I struggled with the social aspect of school for most of my school career. I would have been happier if I was better socially adjusted.
5. We decided to home school our son, so he is 7 and doing 2nd grade. However, if we do put him in public school I will put him a year behind for all the above reasons.
Hope that helps!
J.
I haven't read all the responses you have received but I've been in the same situation as you. My son also has a November and very bright. Our school district wouldn't allow children to start early due to state law so I was really frustrated. I too didn't want him to feel bored or loose his desire to learn. I was really tempted to write the state and ask why parents can't choose to send their children early or even take a test to see if they are ready. I didn't a lot of research and talked to a lot of mom's with late birthday boys. This is what I discovered: Boys tend to do better in school when they are older. They also do better in sports as older boys. I had read that when children skip a grade or go to school early they were at the same level as far as school smarts but socially they were always behind. I felt social aspects are just as important as book smarts. I got over my frustration and now my son is in school. In our school district they have an optional all day kindergarten which he was luck enough to be accepted. He loves school and doesn't seem bored. If you decide to keep you son out of school until he is suppose to start I would recommend really working on writing. Help him build up his hand strength by playing with play doh, help you clean/play with squirt bottles, and use scissors. This will help him build up his hand strength for all the writing he will be doing. Good luck with your choice. I know it is a hard one.
You may not even have the option to send him to kindergarten early -- some areas will not make an exemption. If that is the case, you would have to pay for private school to do it early -- or look at a charter school (they don't always have the same restrictions that the regular district does). That is worth looking into if you decide on early enrollment.
My child is not early enrolled because his birthday is in July. However, I had tons of people (who did not know my son) suggest that he should wait a year to start kindergarten. Their reasoning was that he would always be "the youngest" and "the smallest" and so he wouldn't be able to keep up in sports. I personally think that is a poor reason to delay your academic instruction -- he knew all the same things your son does as he started kindergarten and he did fantastic. Now he is in first grade and is at the top of his class for reading and math and is BORED. I can't imagine how bored he would be if I had held him back a year. School is for learning, and when we hold kids back because they are not "old enough" we give them the message that they are dumb or that education is not important. I am very happy with our decision to enroll him on time, even though he is the 2nd youngest kid in his class (there is a girl one month younger who still met the cutoff). I am looking at moving him up a grade, but issues of socialization and maturity are holding me back on that front. He is just not ready for the sit still/be quiet level of 2nd grade right now. Instead we give him supplemental stuff at home and his teacher uses him in class to help with the kids who are behind. This improves his socialization skills.
The real things you need to ask yourself are:
- Are sports in school important to me/my family? (if they are, early enrollment will be a detriment to this... but school is not the only outlet for sports)
- If we do not enroll him now, will we be delaying his learning process or will he continue to learn through pre-school or things we provide at home?
- Is he mature enough to pay attention and do the things he would need to do in kindergarten? (there is a reason that maturity is a factor for early enrollment -- the teacher has 20+ kids to manage and if you are adding in kids that need extra time and care because they are younger, you make classroom management that much harder for the teacher)(ask his current preschool teacher about this one)
- Is he physically big enough to keep up with the other kids on the playground? Or will he always be the last one picked for games?
- Does he want to go to kindergarten?
- If we delay kindergarten because of socialization levels, what are the issues he would face by being bumped up a grade later? (ie, skip 1st grade, skip 2nd grade)
Overall, this is your child and you know him better than anyone else -- so you will be the one who knows if he is ready for kindergarten next year.
Good luck on the decision.
My b/g twins turned 4 Nov. 6 and we were told (with a due date of 11/19/07) that we would hold them back from everyone as soon as I knew I was expecting! This has been later reinforced by their preschool teacher. They're developing normally, but not ready for kindergarten next year. My husband and I have been told numerous times that parents never regret holding kids back only sending them too soon. If you send too soon, they struggle.
ETA: I can only speak from my own experience, but HTH.
If he goes three days a week to school now and the teachers think he is mature enough for kindergarten when the time comes then go ahead and send him
I have a kindergardener. She is 19 days past the cutoff for our state so she is one of hte oldest in her class. KIndergarden is so slow.. they do one letter per day.. My daughter can read.. they spent a week on colors and shapes... she knew that 2 years ago..
I am absolutely amazed at how slow the learning is in kindergarden.. My daughter is not challenged.. she says kindergarden is easy..
That being said.. Last year she was not ready.. she would have cried and hung on my leg. She did not play well with others.. She was academically ready but not socially ready..
So.. if your son is socially and emotionally ready send him to school. if he will cry and cling to you .. he is not ready.. some kids start school and do not know their ABCs... some can read.. kindergarden tries to get them all to tha same place..
honestly, don't make any plans this far ahead. A lot can happen between now & then.... & have you even checked with the school district? Do they accept late birthdates? Our school district is adamant in their ruling on this. It is not allowed!
For now, keep him learning....keep him socially adapted. Let him thrive, & then readdress this issue next spring.
For my sons, I made a deliberate choice to wait until age 6. I would always choose for my child to be the oldest in the class .....over being the youngest. A very wise teacher once told that she's never known waiting not to work to the benefit of the child. She also said that quite often "young" students thrive until 2nd/3rd grade & then fall behind socially. Something to think about!
So, what is the age cut-off in your school district?
What age, is Kindergarten?
I assume, 5 years old??? Which your son, next year, will be, per that year's school year for Kindergarten entry.
He will turn 5, next November.
To me, that is fine. Send him.
Both my kids, entered Kindergarten at 4. Then turned 5 a couple of months after that. They are fine. They were READY for Kindergarten. They both had had Preschool experience. They both WANTED to go to Kindergarten. Both my kids are late born.
I entered them into Kindergarten based on:
1) their readiness
2) their wanting to
3) they ages and per our school District's age cut offs for entering Kindergarten.
My kids, are and were fine in Kinder, at that age.
My son is in Kinder now.
He loves it.
Now something to keep in mind: IF a child enters Kindergarten later... say at 6 years old... or turning 6... SOME schools, will enter that child into 1st Grade. Kindergarten is NOT 'mandatory' in many States.
And in many schools, 1st grade is 6 years old. And Kindergarten is 5 years old. But if you do not want your child to be entered into 1st grade, and waited to enter your child into Kindergarten until he was turning 6 years old... then you need to request that, to the school.
I know this, because, this is how my kids' school is. And in many areas as well.
So... if you wait 2 years more, to enter your child into Kindergarten... you need to make SURE.... you know what the age cut-offs are in your State, per Kindergarten.
Your son, seems fine to me, if you are going to enter him into Kindergarten when turning 5 years old.
Do you have a reason... for wanting to wait 2 more years, to enter him into Kindergarten????
Regarding both my kids: both of them, had/has a Kindergarten class that is/was comprised of many kids, that were their age. Only a few, were older kids who are already 5 turning 6.
My daughter, is now in 4th grade. And she is in no way, behind academically or socially.
I myself, entered Kinder at 4 turning 5. I am late born. I was perfectly fine academically and socially.
My son, who is now 5... loves Kinder and is really doing great academically and socially. He is in no way, the 'youngest' in his class.
You will soon discover that our public schools spend a huge amount of money and effort working with the lower students to keep them up to speed, while the advanced students are bored. He's already more advanced than the majority of K students. IMO you'll be doing more harm than good by waiting.
My daughter has a November birthday, cut off is Jan 1. So I sent her at her normal age. She was totally ready. She was the youngest in her class throughout elementary school (a few students days to a month younger in middle and high school), and some students were almost 2 years older.
We've never questioned our decission for a second. We know we made the right choice for her. We had some difficulty in 1st and 2nd grade with reading and we got her some extra help. By 3rd grade she was fine, and by the beginning of 5th grade she was reading at high school levels. She got straigt A's all through middle school. (I will admit I'm not thrilled with her starting college at age 17 - she has the opportunity to graduate next year at age 16, and start college at age 16 - no way, she's too young)
I absolutely agree with your pediatrician. In the district where I grew up, the cut off was December, so 'traditionally' your son would have gone to kindergarten next year. There is some new evidence that holding kids back does not help them socially and does disadvantage them academically (not just now, but later on in high school). Apparently children learn from their peers and they learn more by being the youngest in the class than by being the oldest.
http://www.nytimes.com/2011/09/25/opinion/sunday/dont-del...
My son will turn 6 in late December and is in kindergarten now. We have a Sept 1 (can test for kids with Oct birthdays) cut off and while we could have sent him to kindergarten last year, he would NOT have eligible for first grade and would have had to repeat kindergarten (that seemed pretty dumb to us). While he is doing just great, if we had had the option, we would have started him in kindergarten last year. He is currently the second oldest kid in his class.
Both my brother and I were bored in school and both ended up skipping grades (he skipped in elementary school, I skipped in Jr. High) and it was a really good thing for both of us - academically and socially. We both have summer birthdays so we were age wise in the middle of our classes prior to skipping.
BTW - you're not sending him early. You're sending him at the TRADITIONAL age. Kids have always gone to kindergarten during the year they turn 5 - not the year they turn 6 or 7. It really sounds like people are trying to convince you that a 5 year old is the odd man out in kindergarten.
Many school districts will NOT let him start early no matter what his skill level is. This is because many parents want to send them early, typically a four yr old is less mature in many ways and emotionally immature then five yr olds. Many of the brightest four yr olds are actually socially behind. As a teacher I dont care how high he can count or add or subtract or read or write, or speak three languages, there may be others who can keep up with him in one subject (though not all). I want to know how is your son with his peers? he'll need to be very social to make friends with older kids. How long can he stay focused? Is he creative? imaginative? Today Kindergarteners must not only read but talk about what they read. they solve simple math problems but need to explain how they solved them (because that is how standardized tests work in the upper grades) Can he entertain himself quietly for two minutes while waiting for the teacher or other students to finish something. Is he patient with kids who don't catch on as quickly as he does? Is he advanced in all these areas? If so check out your area private schools. but if not I would hate for him to spend his first year in public school being reprimanded for being extra fidgety, or for proudly calling out the answers or just being immature. When he does start K he will need a program that will allow him to read and write on his own level so start researching ....
and Yes, challenge him at home,Can you put him in a music class now to challenge him? let him learn a second language in a class? take him to museums, and read to him to encourage him to develop interests that will inspire him to learn more.
We have the same issue here. My daughter will be 4 on Sunday. She got into an older class at preschool by mistake, and is doing VERY well. In my former life I was an elementary teacher and since she was 22 months, I've known in the back of my mind that she would probably start K early. I agree with your pediatrician. Most schools teach to the middle and support the lower end kids. Not much for the kids who are ahead.
You will probably have to have him tested by the school district this coming spring. This may or may not cost you money out of pocket. The scores will give you a readiness "age" of your son. This will give you more information to make your decision.
From the sounds of it, IMO, I would plan to send him early. You can always register him and retract it at the last minute if you don't think he is really ready.
It is such a big decision, I know! We will probably make our minds up at the last minute. Also, think about his junior and senior years. What grade will he be in when he gets a license? When he graduates? Ugh. Being a parent is hard work! :)
It is a case-by-case basis. My oldest son went into a private kindergarten program at 4 (his b-day is october) and turned 5 two months in. It was my intention, that if he did well, I'd transfer him into his public school into first grade. His particular emotional maturity and academic readiness was not there and so he did Kindergarten in public school the following year (basically two year of K). Such a good decision . . . .for him.
sounds like your son is ready for the next step. I'd send him and remember that if for any reason you need to repeat - you can :)
I would encourage you to pursue kindergarten for him. Our son is 1 to 2 years ahead of his counterparts and is completely happy, and still at the top of his class. We did not do this for our second son and are already regretting it in some ways. We just had our daughter tested for early entry, but haven't heard back yet. I'm not ready to send her off, anyway, so I'll probably just teach her kindergarten at home and then apply for early release to first grade next year. Act quickly though, it's already too late to apply for early entry for next year where we are. In case you're wondering, the reason we're regretting it for our second one is behavior problems due to boredom. We're in the process of getting him identified so he can get extra work and move ahead. I know it's a tough decision. Good luck! BTW, our older son holds his own just fine as an 8 yo in 4th grade. He is well-liked, and enjoys the 4th and 5th graders much more than the 2nd and 3rd graders where the friends his age are.
I have 2 boys with September birthdays (early and middle Sept.). I decided after MUCH research and deliberation to keep them with the traditional program. My decisions for this were mostly because of their maturity when they are older. When they are 15 and 16 years old, they will be at the mercy of their older peers and may succumb to peer pressure much easier because they are so much younger. I would rather they be leaders than followers.
Both of my children are intelligent (in advanced class and GT programs), well adjusted individuals who seem to be able to lead their peers now rather than being the youngest and perhaps more insecure.
It is a very personal decision and you must make that decision which ultimately affects their entire lives. It's a tough one! Just because your pediatrician says he's ready doesn't mean it's the right decision. Make the decision that is right for you and your child. Besides, he'll have his whole life to go to school, why not keep him with you just a little longer, they grow up so fast! You can always challenge your child in the meantime.
I'm comfortable with the decision I made now. I got to spend an extra year with each of my boys. Not everyone gets to say that. What a great year it was for us too!
Good luck with your decision!
