Ear Piercing Dilemma with 8 y.o. - Wasn't Done Right at the Store.

Updated on February 05, 2013
C.M. asks from Round Rock, TX
17 answers

I took my daughter to get her ears pierced today. She is 8.5 and had been asking for awhile, and of course she had to get her courage up to do it. Well, after talking to other moms, we went to the Claire's that was recommended. I talked to the staff, who assured me they had over 1.5 years experience, do at least 1-2 per day, we watched a teenager get her ears done (my daughter wanted to just check it out and then decide). I really didn't think she would go through with it, because we walked out of the store, went and did some other shopping before she finally asked me to go back, because she wanted to do it today. It was totally her choice. Well, the 2 ladies that did it simultaneously were great, engaged my daughter in order to distract her, that all went well. The problem is that when they were drawing the dots with marker on her ears where the earrings would go, I checked and said that I thought one side looked good, but the other side looked too close to her face and that they didn't look in the same position. Now I know that it can't be exactly perfect, but the lady told me that it just looked that way because of the shape of the ear, showed me how she measured (by holding a pen against her earlobe and marking off the same distance from the face). She convinced me that it looked okay from the front and it was just the angle I was looking at it. So I let them go ahead and do it. My daughter was fine, told me that one side hurt more than the other (the side I had pointed out was too close). I again pointed out after the earring was in that it was closer to the side of her head than the other one. The lady still disagreed with me. So I went ahead and paid and left, even though I still thought it wasn't good. I thought maybe it was the angle or the lighting or something, even though we were sitting in front of a window with natural lighting.

So now we get home, I'm still obsessed with her earlobe and convinced that it is too close and that she won't be able to wear larger earrings in the future because of how close it is to her head. Any one else have a similar problem and how could I solve this with the store? Do I just convince my daughter to take the earrings out, let the ears heal and try and repeat in a few months? My daughter was very upset at this suggestion. However, I know that if we do it in the next few days, the ears will heal up quickly and it won't be as big a deal to re-do. The problem is my daughter said "I don't think I could go through that again". Also, I'm not sure if the saleslady was the manager, she signed the consent form, but I can't read her name and left without writing it down. I thought at the time maybe she's right, she's the professional, but I'm convinced it's not right. I keep thinking that my daughter is going to have these for the rest of her life, so they should be done well.

If any one had a similar situation, please share. Or any advice about how to talk to the manager (which she might have been). I get really stressed with these kinds of confrontations and tend to avoid. I feel like I should just let it go, and if I can convince my daughter to take out her earrings, to just forget about the cost of having it re-done, and hope it comes out better next time. (at a different store).

Thanks for taking the time to read this.

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So What Happened?

I went back to the store the next day and talked with the manager. She agreed that the earring was closer to the head than the other one, and offered to re-pierce it that day. However, my gut was that we should take the earring out, let it heal, then re-pierce, because the holes would be so close together. Also, we decided to get a second opinion. I went to a different store, and asked what could be done in this situation. They told me to take out the earring, let it heal, then re-pierce (exactly what I thought). They also validated that the earrings should have been marked in the same position in the ear, not like the store I went to before that tried to convince me that it's how it looks straight on (which no one ever looks at you straight on!) My daughter is ok with taking the earring out and getting it re-done. Now it's just going to look odd to have only one butterfly in her ear for a couple weeks!
Thanks for taking the time to respond. And I did look up piercing studios and pediatricians. Oddly enough, the pedi's website says they refer people to the mall to get their ears pierced. If my daughter were older, we'd go to a piercing studio, but I just don't think it's age appropriate to take her to the ones I could find (tattoo parlors). After talking to the manager at the store I visited today, I would definitely take her to that store and not the one where we went originally.

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D.T.

answers from Muncie on

I was lop-sided. My parents did it for me at home. My mom did it the first time, then noticed that her hand jiggled and I was cock-eyed. So we took the "off" one out and let it heal up well and my dad re-did it.

Show her in a mirror what you're seeing. If she agrees, talk to her about what she wants to do about it. You can either take the "off" one out or take both out and re-do it. If you feel she's old enough to choose to do it in the first place then she can choose how to handle this.

I've rarely worn earrings for years now and my holes are still there. If you are going to try again, do it soon. Some people HAVE to keep earrings in or their holes close up, others are like me.

Good luck!

1 mom found this helpful

S.G.

answers from Grand Forks on

I pierced my second holes myself when I was 14. The one on the right was too close to the edge and didn't look right. I wore an earring in it for a while before I decided I would just let it grow in. I am 42 years old now and that hole is still there. I don't know if it goes all the way through, but it is there enough that I wouldn't be able to put a new hole in my ear.

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D.M.

answers from Savannah on

Hoboy, another piercing question. This is kind of my "soapbox" issue, so...warned? lol Here's the answer I give to...well everyone.

Please reconsider getting your kiddo pierced. Her choice or not. "Traditional" piercings done with a gun aren't healthy and can cause keloid scarring. It's benign, but can often cause pain, itchiness, and often times doesn't allow the wound to heal properly.

The biggest problem with gun piercing is that the guns are rarely if ever changed out, and certainly aren't sent through an autoclave for proper sterilization since they're plastic. Which means the same gun is used on person before your kiddo, and who knows what kind of blood borne illnesses they have.

Second, take a pencil, now stab it through a piece of paper. See that torn, nasty hole? That's what that gun is doing to your child. It's simply tearing through the skin with zero surgical precision.

I beg you, if you do wish to get your little one pierced, take her to a doctor to have it done in a sterile, safe environment. Or wait until she's of age and take her to a certified, well trained, registered piercist. Both consider piercings to be surgical procedures, the only difference is location (if you get a good piercist), and price.

If you do have any questions about surgical piercings, please don't hesitate to contact me.

3 moms found this helpful
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A.V.

answers from Washington DC on

My second holes were crooked. Just let the crooked one grow over (but let the other side heal with the earring) and get it redone later. Later can be a long time from now or it can be in a few weeks. You can also ask if the pediatrician will do the re-do. It might be easier on your DD.

I would call them or email them and keep it to just the facts. You were concerned about the placement, when you got a good look at your DD's ears when they were done, it confirmed that they were crooked, and you would like .... (what do you want? a refund? a redo? both?). Don't be too worried about it. Just ask for what you want and know she can always take them out.

2 moms found this helpful
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L.G.

answers from San Antonio on

My daughters first piercing was off. I measured myself and could not accept the mistake. I took the one that was wrong, and had them redo once it was healed. I measured and marked it myself before they pierced. My husband did not want her to go through it again but my mil convinced him. This was done at the pedi office. They redid them and now are even. The sooner you take it out the better. For my second daughter I got a referral to an ent doctor. He did them even.

1 mom found this helpful

C.C.

answers from San Francisco on

I'd take your daughter back in, speak to the manager, and show her the earrings now that they're in. If it looks funny, then Claire's should re-do the one that is wrong. If that's the case, just take out the offending earring, let the ear heal, and have it re-done in a few weeks. No big deal!

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R.J.

answers from Seattle on

Breathe.

And take this as a lesson learned... No more minimum wage gun operators.

Licensed Piercers only from now on out.

Real piercers are trained (some serious anatomy, health & precautions, etc.), are in supervised internships for some time, and do dozens of piercings every DAY. Often 100-200 a week. It pays quite well (up to about 150k per year), so piercers pierce for decades. Thousands and thousands of piercings. You WANT that expertise.

You find real piercers in tattoo shops, by and large, although some are in piercing only establishments. I use the best tattoo shops, personally. In no small part because reputation is everything in this industry, so the best shops have the best artists and the best health & safety standards. Meaning doctors get work done in these shops.

Any good piercer will
- scrub
- glove
- sterilize the area
- use sterilized surgical instruments cracked open new for every client
- use a gauge specific needle
- be almost pain free (the part that hurts the most is the clamp that stabilizes the lobe).

1 mom found this helpful

~.~.

answers from Tulsa on

When I had my ears pierced (at 18), one of them was done a little lower and closer to my face than the other side. It also hurt more than the other side. It's kind of noticeable if I wear large studs, but I mostly wear drop earrings, so I didn't bother to get them redone.

My sister had both ears pierced too low. To the point where the initial stud earrings looked like they were falling off of her ears. She ended up taking out the earrings and letting them heal and getting them re-pierced a few months later.

Does your daughter think they are crooked? Has she indicated what style of earrings she wants to wear? It's definitely easier to let it heal now and get it re-done, but if your daughter doesn't have a problem with it, I wouldn't make a big deal about it and let it go.

1 mom found this helpful
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M.P.

answers from Portland on

Have you measured to see if it's actually closer? I suggest that it's possible that the shape of the ear lobe, which can be different on each side, may make it look closer when it's actually not. Or even the shape of her cheek.

My ear rings look a little off from each other but it doesn't bother me enough to actually measure them.

I also suggest if your daughter is happy with the way they are to let it drop. Stop looking to see if it's off. The more attention you pay to it the more exaggerated it's going to look. I'd let it go, at least, for a couple of days and then take a closer look again.

You can always have them redone later, even if you leave the earring in now. My granddaughter has gone thru times of wanting to wear earrings and then not wanting to. She's had her ears pierced 3 times. I've had mine pierced twice. It's not a difficult thing to have done.

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A.C.

answers from Madison on

I have two earrings in both ears. The holes on both ears are in the exact same position (I measured myself to be sure). However. My right ear is affixed to my head at a slight angle so that when you look at me/my earrings dead on, the right earring (especially a dangle) always looks like it's twisted to the side. There is absolutely nothing I can do about this, and it definitely wasn't the fault of the person who pierced them (I had both holes pierced when hair dressers still pierced ears before liability became such a big issue and they quit doing it). I have accepted the fact that this is "me" and is a special trait/look that is mine and mine alone. The only way I can "undo" this issue is if I let my ears grow shut and never wear earrings again. And I'm not willing to do that because I love wearing earrings too much.

At the age of 8, your daughter will still grow and so will her ears. If you've measured her lobes yourself and have discovered a big space issue--that's one thing. However, what is your daughter like? Does she like big things/big jewelry? Or does she like small, dainty pieces? Maybe she'll never be one of those ladies who wear big, huge pieces of jewelry (I certainly don't) and will only wear small, dainty earrings (that's me!). If so, then the position of her earring holes is a mote point for her.

You say your daughter doesn't care, but you do. I guess it all depends on if the difference is noticable. Have you asked/polled people--even strangers--and asked them their opinion on how her earrings look? Maybe you're the only one who sees that they look "different," yet to everyone else, they look perfectly fine.

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R.M.

answers from San Francisco on

Let it grow in and redo it in a couple of months. It won't take long to heal at her age. You don't want crooked earrings her whole life, and it didn't cost that much.

Just go someplace else in a couple of months. It's not worth trying to get your money back. Claire's is okay sometimes, sometimes not. I guess if you want to try to get your money back you can, but you have to decide whether the aggravation is worth the thirty bucks or whatever they are charging these days.

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J.T.

answers from Victoria on

I never thought the teens at clairs were professionals for peircing. You truly seem to be very consirned with it. I would take her to a tattoo and peircing parlor to have them look at it and show you the guide lines of repeircing, measurements, if her lobe is slightly different from the other how spacing it even a bit further will help.

My daughter got her ears peirced about one yr old. she kept pulling them out and loosing them, i was scared she would swallow it so i gave up...although my husband really wanted me to keep trying. point is we went to clairs and they marked it fine but when they actually peirced them it was not on the dots. no worries as her ears have closed....there is still a dot mark where it was peirced...like a scar or dent. she is three now

M.D.

answers from Washington DC on

My daughter (9) had her second holes done in August at Claires. They did a horrible job and her ears got so infected. The skin grew OVER the earrings, even though she was cleaning and moving them daily. It was just horrible. We let them heal and she opted to have them redone at ICING a few monthes later. No problems and it's been months now. The placement on hers is a little off, but not bad. She can wear two earrings in both ears and it looks great.

So if they look off to you, take them out, let it heal, and get it redone elsewhere. I don't ever recommend Claires to anyone.

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J.T.

answers from Dallas on

I'd find a place that pierces by hand and get them redone there... same person does both ears, same controlled angle of piercing, takes their time in marking, no gun, no teenage employees. Ask her pedi for an RX for Emla cream and numb her earlobes beforehand. Good luck! Ive used La Lobe in Dallas, not sure if you have something similar near you...

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K.A.

answers from Phoenix on

Let them grow back and do it again in a few months.

I am pretty passive, but with something like that, I wouldn't have let them go through with the piercing until I was comfortable.

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V.P.

answers from Columbus on

I'm surprised they contradicted you on placement, or were you just not insistent enough? My daughter's holes (the marker dots) weren't even, I pointed it out, and they fixed it. They didn't argue with me and whip out a ruler, they just put it where I thought it was better. But as an artist, I'm less concerned with the mathematical accuracy of the hole placement as I am the aesthetic appearance -- if they LOOK uneven, it really doesn't matter what the math is.

Personally, I think you need to follow your daughter's lead on this. She's already said she doesn't want to do it again. What does she want to do? Personally, I'd let it grow over and then wait until she's older -- several years, not several months -- to try again, but you haven't said what she wants. And even though we had a good experience with Claires, I agree with the other posters who said use a certified piercer or a doctor's office.

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