Mamas & Papas-
Our DS, 2.5 y.o. grew up with my parents' 80 lb black labish mutt. She's a senior, nearly 9 years old, and very very tolerant. She's not one to approach him, and puts up with todler antics like sitting on her back, stroking her ears, brushing her coat against the grain etc. If she's had too much she walks away.
until recently DS showed interest in most dogs, or at least tolerance for most dogs, save for ones which were very loud or very playful and approached him rather than vice versa.
now, if we should so much as see a dog 20 yards off, he hides behind my legs, if not bursts into tears and asks to be picked up.
any idea of what might have brought on this change?
any idea od what we can do to desensitize him? I am thinking a healthy fear, like don't approach without asking and use a gentle touch is probably where we'd like to end up.
no problems with cats as yet. although this might not be relevant.
thanks a bunch,
F. B.
There is no telling it might just be the age. My son when he was little like that he was not scared of anything which scared me. But when he got a little older he started being scared of more stuff. I think its normal especally with dogs that are bigger than him.
I think it's probably just a phase - suddenly they are leary of things that did not bother them before, it's like they develop a whole new awareness of things that could hurt them or that they are not sure of. Did he happen to see anything on TV that could have scared him, like a growling dog or a wolf?
I would just avoid the dog without feeding into his fears. Reassure him that he is okay and the dog is not going to hurt him. I wouldn't make him come near the dog, but I wouldn't pick him up either.
Well, my daughter has always had an aversion to dogs. Just a fear.
She is 10 now and still does.
Can't desensitize her. She goes according to the vibes of a dog.
The only dog she will actually go near is my cousin's dog.
But we do have pets and she does like cats.
It could be that your son is going through a phase in which he begins to wonder about dogs (in this case). Lots of things go on in that little mind! He knows there are many different dogs, not just his grandparents' wonderful dog; but some are startlingly noisy and some are quiet, some are startlingly bouncy and some are easygoing, some look as if they MIGHT be unfriendly and some don't. So he's being over-cautious.
Don't respond as if your son were at fault somehow. Go ahead and pick him up, remind him that some dogs are very nice, and suggest that he smile at the dog (from that safe height in your arms) and maybe say hello. He doesn't need to touch the dog unless he wants to and you allow it. Encourage him not to make a big noise at the dog (shrieking or crying).
My older granddaughters live in a home with a cat but no dog, and they viewed our bouncy puppies with disdain (read: fear) when they were that age. It took them a while to get over it. It definitely helped that they grew taller!
Has he been exposed to any movies or shows recently where a dog might have been aggressive or bit someone? Or had an older child tell him something about dogs being dangerous? It very well could just be a phase, be patient with him, respect his fear, and help him ease into contact as he feels more comfortable.
i think it's natural that as kids get older and more cognizant of the world around them they realize that some things are scary. your little guy is smart enough to get that THAT dog is not like HIS dog and to be cautious. and because he's very very little, that caution isn't necessarily proportional.
i would remain very calm and matter-of-fact, and not dismiss his fears. pick him up if he needs it. he's very little, and needs to feel safe when the world becomes scary. simple calm statements, and permission NOT to approach or touch strange dogs, are all he needs. as he continues to observe his world and the dogs in them, he will almost certainly learn exactly what you state and approach only with permission and gentle touch.
khairete
S.
