DS And School Question

Keep him where he is.
The school should have a bully policy.
Talk to the teacher(s) about it to get the 'being picked on' taken care of.
Is he bored?
He needs to focus to get the work done and done well, and then find an activity he can occupy himself with while the rest of the class finishes (some teachers will let them read).

You can't keep moving him around every time he struggles.
At ANY school, and at any time over the years, he's going to go through periods of stress and struggle. And there will be MANY teachers you don't like.
If he is not listening well and goofing off HE needs to learn how to control that. The teacher should be working on that and you should be supporting her efforts.
Being young and small has nothing to do with it. My oldest daughter was the youngest and smallest in her class for years, and she never had behavior issues, she was quite the opposite actually, small and timid and wanting to please.

You don't change the environment to cope with your child, you teach your child to live in and be successful in the environment.

He's not done well in two environments thus far (based upon your consideration of changing schools again). Consider that HE is the common denominator and figure out what needs to change with HIM.

OMG I just choked on my iced tea!
It doesn't matter if he can read, write and perform complex math operations, that is only a part of being prepared for a formal education.
Being cognitively advanced is great, but he also needs to be socially, emotionally and physically ready as well.
Give the poor guy a break, he's not even FOUR YEARS OLD! At four he's supposed to be a clown, not a scholar. Check out some books on child development so you understand exactly where he's at. Look for an NAEYC accredited preschool, one that understands and implements the very best in early childhood education.

Actually, I think his choice of turning into the class clown instead of picking on other kids because he is being picked on is a healthy choice. Much better than becoming withdrawn or picking on others. Humor is an effective tool against bullying.

Besides speaking to the teacher, you need to speak to your son about appropriate classroom behavior which includes listening to instruction. You don't mind him making jokes and being goofy, but he needs to choose his moments better. Say at lunch or recess rather than the middle of a math lesson. Remind him that no one likes being treated with disrespect.

I would keep him at that school. It's early in the year and he should adjust fine.

So, the entire class is allowed to pick on your child and misbehave? They are threatened by how intelligent he is and they need to be brought inline. It seems to me that they should all be moved and your son allowed to stay and flourish. He needs to perceive them for what they are-a pack of immature bullies.

I wouldn't move him again.
He is capable of growing and adapting at the school he's at.
Just work on the issues he's having.
Work with the teacher.

He's obviously not emotionally ready for this Pre-K class and probably won't be ready for K by next September. I think you should put him back where he's most comfortable and hold off on K for another year.

Your son's challenges are more social than emotional.

The world is full of kids and teachers who will like your son and who won't like your son.

You can't change the world but you can teach him how to cope and deal with difficult people.

Move him back and maybe by next year he'll be mature enough to handle the challenges brought on by next year's teacher.

First you can't keep switching schools. You will not like every teacher your kids have. That's life. They need to learn to adapt to different people over the years.

I guess you have found out what works for one child does not work for the other. They are individuals!

At this point, leave him where he is and speak to the teacher.

Lack of emotional development, can even sabotage or derail academic prowess.
Maturity, also. But it has nothing to do with age.
There are many adults, who are immature and emotionally arrested.

Being late born or the youngest in class, is not a determining factor.
Both my kids are late born. They were fine both emotionally and academically

Emotional development and academic skills, do not coincide nor occur in tandem.

Emotional development, is also impacted by how a child is taught and guided. Same for academics.
Both in school and via parenting.

Being a class clown or not listening, may also be a child's way, of coping. With stuff they are not yet mature enough, to cope with.
It is like an outlet, a child's way of venting etc. or fitting in. Varied reasons.
But they gotta learn, how to behave.

For me, I rather my kids be emotionally able and self-assured and to KNOW themselves, than to be an Einstein.

There are also many academically high level people & kids, and they have no emotion aptitude at all. And they have bad attitudes. And always think they are just a special little snowflake, just because they are "smart."
But they have not grown... or developed.... emotionally at all. And they still, even if academically smart... are ill behaved in class and elsewhere.
I know some kids like that, at the school where I work.
And let me tell you, they are always, causing trouble for others. But they are in the GT classes.

As for Teachers, there will ALWAYS be, a Teacher that is not your cup of tea or your child's. But that is life. And a kid... NEEDS to learn, resilience and adaptation. And how to try their best, despite. That... is key, in life.

Both my kids have had teachers they did not like. And there are a couple of Teachers I did not like, that my kids had. So what. They dealt with it. I dealt with it. They STILL enjoyed their year and I did too. And the Teacher was fine!

Successful people/kids, are not necessarily, the "smartest" in their class.

One of the worst things for a kid to learn is: that just because they are "smart" that they don't have to listen or behave with others. Or that, if they are "bored" they can just act up and use "boredom" as an excuse and their parent will cater to it.

It's early for that decision. I'd do some talking to him and to the teacher and strategize for your best outcome.

All you can really do as a parent is present a place to succeed and then the kids have to maximize their effort to get the most out of it. Any teacher should have many ways in her bag of tricks to accomplish her mission of not trading academic development for social. Time is a big factor in getting him to cooperate but not the only one.

Changing schools would make things difficult on you and just teach your son that his environment is a bigger factor in his behavior than his own self control. Not true. Just think of all the kids all over the world that succeed in getting an education in terrible surroundings. Tell him of Malala's story of courage to get an education.

Good luck.

He'll settle down. Just because he's the youngest in his class does not mean he's not ready.

Education is best. If we wait for kids to be "ready" for school some of them would be 12 and still not in kindergarten...lol.

At this age, it is much more important to grow socially and emotionally. A three year old does NOT need an academic focus at all and will do much better in a play-based environment.

If he's not doing well, the current environment isn't right for him. He's too little for structured academics and clearly isn't ready for it.

For a 4 year old I would not worry about academics AT ALL. He needs support for emotional and social growth more than anything. Once he enters regular school it will be all about academics soon enough. If he has missed out on social/emotional maturity he is going to be in trouble down the road.
Good luck.

I t hink you need to work on your son's issues and with the teacher. If he is unhappy at two different places, then it can't be everyone else's fault. Teach him how to deal with situations. He can't be silly and play all the time, but he also doesn't have to sit still all the time. Explain to him the rules and he will get it.

Work with him on these behaviors instead of moving him. We had problems here and there with my sks wanting to be the life of the party and they had to learn time and place. We had the same problems with each of them, in different schools. Maturity can happen in the new school and moving him back will not resolve the underlying issue of him being picked on and being younger. I would meet with the teachers and the guidance office. This is not an academic problem. This is a new kid problem, IMO. I would not be quick to move him for this. He needs time to settle in. He's finding his way. You did not say what age/grade he is in. That will factor, too.

He may also not like all his teachers. It is a life lesson. Unless the teacher is truly horrible, then he should stay with that class. Sometimes we have to work with people we do not like. My SD had a problem in 4th grade and when she encountered similar problems in 11th grade, she chose to stick it out because otherwise it would throw off her senior year to have to take the required class again. She learned a big lesson when she was 9.

ETA: He's not even FOUR? Many 5 yr old boys are not ready for academic programs. It is a totally different thing for a 4 yr old to be a class clown....that's practically the definition of 4 yr old boy! If they can't handle his behavior then what are they doing teaching 4 yr olds? I thought we were talking about a much older child. You sound like you expect much more of a 4 yr old emotionally than he is currently capable of.

Schools (or in your son's case) early childhood education centers should focus on a full range of social/emotional, intellectual and physical growth.

many children develop these areas at different speeds and times. He is 3/4 years old. He is stunted in his social emotional growth right now. Ask his teachers how they will encourage him and support him in this aspect of his development. Again, Developmentally appropriate learning should address all aspects.

IF this school can't do that, you should consider moving him to a location that can.

After reading your so what happened I wanted to suggest you move hom back to his old school for this year. He was happy there and it would give him the time to grow emotionally. Then move him back next year to the Pre-k class to avoid the teacher you want to avoid and let him be challenged a bit more academically then, as it seems he would not be ready for Kindergarten next year any way. This way you get what you want and you don't put so much pressure on your son. Boys do tend to develope slower emotionally and it's therefore sometimes better to keep them back even if they are academically more than ready as it will affect them later especially in middle and high school. I know of parents who had to keep their boy back and had him repeat 5th grade because he were emotionally not ready for middle school and it effect kids a lot more then. Better let him mature a bit more now than sending him to early. Good luck.

I would move him back to where he was more comfortable (emotionally).
At this young age, his emotional well being will serve him better than high
academic standards.
Hope the little guy gets to go back to his old enviornment.