My son is 4. For the longest time we've had issues with him waking up unbelievably early. It would usually go in phases. It so happened that he was in one of those phases at his 4 yr checkup and the pediatrician told me that a large majority of kids stop napping by age 4, or needing to. She thought it was possible that although bedtime wasn't much of a problem (he goes to bed around 8pm), he could have been stocked up on sleep by 5am.
So she suggested that we switch over to quiet time. I've been trying this for a couple months now. He still wakes up earlier than we wish he would, but it has gotten somewhat later and we have not had a phase of 4:45 or 5am wakeups since I changed this.
The problem is, he still falls asleep about every other or every third day during quiet time. When he does, I don't let him sleep more than about 30 min. But now we've started having issues with bedtime (which we never had before) on days when he has fallen asleep at quiet time.
For example - Tuesday this week he didn't sleep during quiet time and was ready for bed by 7:30, went to sleep easily and happily. Yesterday he did fall asleep during quiet time, I woke him after 30 min (which was VERY difficult to do, he was like a ragdoll in my arms he was so out! Felt like I was torturing him!) And then last night, he was plain not tired at his usual 7:30/8pm bedtime and didn't end up falling asleep till almost 9.
And as for quiet time, I also have a 10 month old and I really need that down time! I hope that doesn't seem selfish, but I believe that a happier, sane mom is a better mom :) So I'm super reluctant to drop quiet time altogether, but I am also wondering if that's what its going to take to get him to a point where he adjusts to getting all the sleep he needs at night and then maybe I can reinstate quiet time and he won't fall asleep.
Thoughts? Anyone else dealt with trying to stop daytime sleep but still keep a quiet time? Any thoughts on how long I might need to try no quiet time before I can assume he's adjusted and go back to trying quiet time? I know every kid is different, just looking for others' experiences and suggestions.
Thanks in advance!
Loving all the answers, thanks! To put the too early vs. too late bedtime debate to rest (pun intended!), his bedtime is not too early. I've read a ton of sleep books since he was born because we've struggled so much with it, and I've learned that he is definitely the type of kid who gets overtired very easily and the more overtired he gets, the harder time he has sleeping well. So for him, putting him to bed late has always resulted in EARLIER wake ups. We tried it recently for a week and same thing - 8:30 or 9pm bedtime resulted in pre-5am wakeups and horrid behavior. Keep the suggestions coming other than that, thank you so much!
I think you're putting him to bed too early. 7:30 is too early for a 4 year old to go to bed.
So I say let him take his nap or have quiet time and put him to bed closer to 8:30 or 9:00.
Hi.
We are going through this as well.
Our son is almost 4 as well. I agree with you that Quiet/down time is important even if our children don't nap.
Our son can now play quietly by himself for almost an hour -- usually lego or some such thing.
He knows that during quiet time mommy needs to rest and he can play quietly.
As for keeping him up....someone recommended to me to ensure he eats well, and to perhaps give him a fruit snack...and plenty of water. as dehydration makes one tired.
anyhow...we are at the point where he almost never naps -- once every 2 weeks or so. we went through exactly what you are for a while...it does get easier as he grows a bit and gets used to working through a bit of tiredness and rallying for a late afternoon activity.
best of luck.
jilly
I think it's just part of the transition - unfortuantely... it is an adjustmet and it will eventually pass. On the days he does nap, I would just make sure he goes to bed and if he's up playing, then he is... just needs to do so quietly in his room. Best of luck
Wow! Ok, well both my kids dropped naps really early (around 2) and nothing I could do would make them nap! I agree with Sherri G about letting him watch tv for a little quiet . . . or some other quiet, independent activity. Something interesting enough to keep him from wanting to fall asleep. I don't make mine get in bed as long as they stay in their rooms and don't disturb me for 30 minutes when I need it, b/c I feel ya sister! You gotta have some sanity time and at 4 he is old enough to be in his room and play alone for a while.
As for 7:30 being too early a bedtime for a 4 year old? That's where my wow came in. My 9 year old still goes to bed between 7:30 and 8 during the school year, otherwise we can't get her up at 6:30 to get to school on time. And my 5 year old is in bed 7 - 7:30 or I'd lose my mind. I think it just depends on your household dynamics. . . good luck!
If he is going to go to pre-school he needs to continue napping for as long as possible. They still nap even into the first half of Kindergarten.
Kids still need rest time even if they don't go to sleep. Just keep encouraging him to nap, even if it means a later bedtime. He needs to be able to lay quietly and rest even if he doesn't sleep at nap time.
The fact is early bedtime means early rise time. I can't imagine putting an almost school age child to bed at 7:30. That is still daytime, even in the colder months.
If you don't want him to wake up so early keep him up in the evenings and put him to bed later. He only needs maybe 10 hours per day at 4 years old. Some do need more but most need about 9 or 10 at 4.
So, 7:30 -5:30 is 10 hours. It is what you are choosing for him to do. If you want him to sleep later them put him to bed later.
If he takes a nap he stays up later. I would suggest an 8:30pm or 9pm bedtime if you want him to get yo around 7am.
If there is ever a good time for tv, this is it. At four my kids would not nap, but they would sit and watch a tv show or 2 in the afternoon if I needed some time to myself or to get things done. If he is getting up too early in the morning then he is probably going to bed too early. You can give him a later bedtime, or teach him to occupy himself in the morning without waking everyone else. Leave him a sippy cup of milk or a juicebox and a snack in the fridge, show him how to turn on the tv, or give him some puzzles or another quiet activity to do until you get up.
I don't have experience with a 4 year old but wanted to share my experience with sleep. Why not try putting him to bed at 7pm if this is possible. I read that when kids wake up too early it is because they are not getting enough sleep or that their bedtime is later. Try moving his bedtime to 7pm and see how that works. When my son would wake early we would make sure he went to bed earlier and he seemed to do better and get actually get up later.
Good luck!
