Dropped as Friend?

you can be honest AND nice: "hey i just thought i'd give you one more call, i know it's a crazy time of year but it's odd that i haven't heard back from you. i hope that everything is okay with you and your family, well just wanted to see how you're doing... i don't want to keep bothering you so give me a call if you want. Thanks!"

that way you're expressing concern (in case something IS wrong), but you're also letting her know in a nice way that you won't be calling her anymore so the ball is in her court if she wants to stay in touch. that's all i would do...and then let it go.

The average lifespan of a best friend is 7 years; true statistic.

Don't theorize. I know your brain's going in a million different directions with the unknowns, but it's hurtful more than helpful.

Hand write her a card, letting her know how much you value the friendship, and leave the ball in her court. You can't MAKE her want to be friends, but you can let her know how you feel.

Remind her you're always there for her.

Other than that, let it slide, in a good way; where one door closes, another opens :)

I would contact her and I would just state the facts. I would not tell her you do not feel valued as a friend, I think it will put her on the defensive. I would just tell her you miss her and ask if there is a reason you haven't seen or heard from her recently. It might end up being something so simple like the whole family has had colds and she has been stressed out from work and too many holiday parties. Or she might have hurt feelings over something and you can talk it out. Good luck :)

Have you tried asking her why she won't return your contacts?

Try e-mailing her, let her know that you're picking up on the idea that she doesn't care to have you as a friend any longer. While that sucks, if it's what she wants, then you'll respect that. You just want to understand what happened to change things. You really are in the dark on this one, and if you've done anything to offend her it was completely unintentional.

How long has this been going on? If it's been less than a month, I would wait a while....maybe this is just a really busy/stressful time in her life for whatever reason.

If it's been longer than a month, I would drop her a little "thinking of you" card in the mail. Write a message saying you haven't heard from her in a long time and are wondering if something is going on. Did you say or do something that offended her? You miss spending time with her and just want to make sure everything is OK. etc. It needs to be gentle and non-confrontational (I wouldn't say what you posted here i.e. "when my calls aren't returned or emails aren't returned, I just don't feel very valued as a friend.")

Good luck!

Don't make ANYONE a priority when the only make you an option! - I love that saying so much. Brush it off, and move on. There may be a great reason for her lack of communications, or simply no reason at all. Don't sweat it, she's probably not.

Surround yourself with good friends who make you happy!

Invite her to do something just for you and her, no kids no spouses and see where that gets you, but i actually would wait until mid january, Personally I have so much to do right now i don't have time and would turn you down just because i'm busy;

I agree to reach out to her but I would lead off that you are concerned with her and wanted to make sure everything is OK. You never know what could be going on in her family.

You have given it your best shot...so let it be without further ado....and see what happens.

If you have only given her a month or so to respond, don't be too quick to give up. She might be going through some things that have nothing to do with you. But if it's been longer than a year, you can probably just let things slide. I just got back in touch with a friend after a year of us not really talking at all - nothing happened we just were both sort of lazy about connecting and had a lot going on in our lives. When we saw each other again it was as if no time had passed and we picked up where we left off, no hard feelings. So, maybe just be a little more relaxed about the whole thing.
Cheers!

I can understand that you don't feel valued as a friend, but it might not have anything to do with you. Sometimes when people are going through something hard, something serious, something embarrassing, they withdraw from their friends. Is that possible? Marital problems, addiction, problems with kids, gaining weight. . . people have all sorts of reasons to not feel comfortable around the people that know them the most and the longest. And maybe that could be a way to approach it . . . "We haven't talked in awhile and I just want to make sure you're OK" that kind of thing. If the friendship is important to you, you'll want to get to the bottom of it. It might not be about you, it might be totally about her and something she's going through. And if the answer is "you've offended me, hurt me, etc. and we can't be friends anymore", then at least you know. Good luck.

It depends, has it been going on a few days, weeks, months? It's a crazy time of year. I even don't get back with some of my friends/family for a month or so sometimes. If it's been a few weeks, I wouldn't worry about it. Longer than that or a month, than I would limit trying to contact her at this time, send her a Christmas card. I wouldn't do the whole pity party route with her, it may be true, she may be purposely avoiding you, or she may not be. You are only making assumptions at this point. Even if she was avoiding you, telling her how hurtful she's being isn't really going to help anything anyways, I would just let it drift apart naturally and as unawkwardly as possible. **I also totally agree with Galwaygirl.

I'm so sorry- I know it's hurtful. I have been going through a similar thing with one of my best friends for many years. She was going through a hard time not too terribly long ago, which I stood by her. However, she got on antidepressants, and I stopped hearing from her. She will call (rarely) out of the blue, claiming she is a terrible friend and that she's sorry for not being in touch more. It gets a little old. If I do text her or call, she never responds or answers. So I have just given up on her. It does make me sad because I miss her, but being friends with someone shouldn't take this much one-sided effort. It's too emotionally draining. Life is too short to worry with those who just don't want to make the effort.

Call her, and keep trying until you get to talk to her in person. Then tell her you've been thinking about her a lot lately and ask if everything is okay. Let her know you miss her. Give her an opening to tell you what's going on, but without pressure.

She may not respond with any more contact, in which case I'd just gently let go. But sometimes people go "missing" for a reason. I've done it myself. Why? Possible reasons could include anything from a something as simple as string of colds in the family to something as heavy as a death to a job loss to an unwanted pregnancy. Sometimes when something bad happens, people withdraw because they don't want to "bother" their friends, or because they're so wrapped up in whatever the problem is that they get tunnel vision. Last summer my son was hospitalized with acute pneumonia. I didn't even think to call and let my church know or most of my friends - I was too busy just handling the crisis and praying that my little boy would live. Of course I didn't check email during all this. I got scolded later by some folks I knew for not calling, and truth be told, I got a bit annoyed with them. I wondered why, if they noticed I wasn't around, nobody picked up the phone.