Drinking While Pregnant -- Truths Wanted

I'm being completely honest...4th pregnancy 3rd child, NEVER ONCE had a drink...
this pregnancy I totally feel like it.
From what I understand you can have wine to a limit but I hate wine.

My friend had probably a total of maybe 3 glasses of wine in her last trimester and her daughter is fine. Her DR told her she could and that it was fine.

My other friends aren't really drinkers so I can't give any other help.

Zero. We had to go through IVF/ICSI to get pregnant and there was too much riding on it for me to compromise my health in any way. Question for you is, do you need alcohol to relax? It's only 10 months or so, could you consider other means of relaxation, like yoga, meditation, walks, reading, etc...
Good luck!
J. C

I had some wine while pregnant but not much at all in the early months when everything is forming and developing - maybe a sip once in a while. Towards the end I would have a glass of wine once in a while. I guess my only concern for you is - if you "need" wine to cope with life and children or to feel happy then maybe you're developing a dependency. Please be careful. We moms have to look out for each other. Best wishes.

Jen

J.
You and your fetus share a blood supply. Alcohol gets into your blood thus you share your blood alcohol with your fetus. That said, fetal alcohol syndrome is real causing neural and other physical issues in newborns, and women who drink excessively during pregnancy risk having babies born with this syndrome.

I too am a casual drinker. My husband and I are both reproduction-related professionals and we agreed that my having a glass of wine a couple times a week was fine. My children are better than fine. I drank wine (mainly at home to avoid the stares!) some or all of a glass 1-3X/week during pregnancy. Sometimes I just did not feel like it. Sometimes I felt a little tipsy from small amounts (due to decreased tolerance) and decided to stop before I finished what was in front of me.

What your Ob won't tell you is that drinking is ok. The reason is that they see babies born with FAS and what is moderate drinking to an alcoholic is excessive drinking to a casual drinker. The definition of moderation is dependant upon the individual.

I get really really pissed when women are told what to do and what not to do during pregnancy. Saying you should cut out anything is ridiculous (think about all the babies conceived thanks to too much wine!!!). Studies demonstrating effects of alcohol (or caffeine) on pregnancy outcomes find effects with excessive intake. Moderation is the key.

Maternal stress also plays a large role on pregnancy outcome and worrying about obeying all of these rules (no sushi if you love sushi, no cold-cuts, no alcohol, no aged cheese, no caffeine) can cause a great deal of stress to individuals who are used to these items. Be smart, educate yourself and make your own choices!!!
Good Luck!

I have not yet taken any alcohol since the day I found out I am pregnant. Now I am in my 21st week.

Before I knew I am pregnant, I usually shared a glass of beer with my husband during the dinner every two or three times a week. When I found out I am pregnant (4-6wk), I was quite nervous and the doctor told me the baby will be fine since the fetal has not yet connected to my body in the first couple months.

I guess it's because I didn't want to take any chance to risk my baby's health. I don't miss the alcohol at all. In social gathering, I still skip any alcohol beverage and my friends and coworkers all can understand. If I don't want to drink, I think no one can force me to do so.

Some of my friends told me their moms still drank when they are pregnant. Of course, my friends turn out fine and some of them still finished their PhD.

However, I think it all depends on how much risk you want to take now and in the future. If there is any damage to the baby, it may be permanent. To me, I know myself can not emotionally and financially afford such risk. So, I stop drink.....

I had a glass of champagne early in my first trimester, about a week after I found out I was pregnant. Also, wine tasting is one of my favorite hobbies; during my second trimester, I traveled to California and did some wine tasting (although I spit out all the mouthfuls that I tried). That was about all the alcohol I had, though.

That said, I think doctors tend to be very conservative in their recommendations, and for good reason: they don't want to be blamed if they say, "Okay, go ahead and drink," and something goes wrong. They simply don't know what a "safe" amount is, while they know that a lot is not good, so they just recommend that pregnant women drink nothing. I imagine, however, that for most of human history women drank alcohol during pregnancy, and the human race doesn't seem to have suffered too terribly. :) Moderation is probably key!

By the way, I noticed that other people seem to think you're drinking to calm yourself down. I got the impression, though, that you're saying that when you drank during your first pregnancy it stressed you out that you were potentially harming your baby, and that this time around you don't want to stress out about drinking - not that you're drinking because you're stressed and anxious. Do I have it wrong? Because I would agree that it's not necessarily good to use alochol to self-soothe, but I would also say that you shouldn't be overly stressed about an occasional glass of wine.

Nothing during the first trimester. That's when brain development is happening and the risks are much greater. I attended a wedding about 5 weeks pregnant with my 2nd and did have some very watered down white wine spritzers, but it's around week 5/6 that the baby starts sharing mom's blood, so I felt like it was my last horrah! for a while!

My first pregnancy, i had very little urge to drink. I even stopped drinking before I knew I was pregnant, b/c the thought turned my stomach. In the 3rd trimester it became more appealing. And I had an occasional glass of wine.
I was much more laid back in my 2nd pregnancy - and never stopped having a desire to to join in with others! Starting in the 2nd trimester - I drank beer or wine (2 tops) when ever I felt like it. At that point I knew LOTS of amazing moms that would have a drink. My midwife actually suggested I end my day with a glass of red wine to combat stress.
I never did hard alcohol. Just seems like the higher alcohol content can't be good.

Also, I generally made sure I had a full belly and double fisted it with water.

I found that a good trick when in social situations is to cut your wine with seltzer. (even red - unless it's a really really good wine ;-)
That way I could spread my drinks out and that habit of holding a drink was being satiated.

Have a healthy pregnancy!
Don't worry about the opinion of others. Do what you feel is right. I think some woman need the "rule', but in moderation - i think it's fine. My grandmother loves to tell us how she smoked cigarettes and drank brandy through all 7 of her perfectly normal and healthy pregnancies!
(Not saying that's a good idea, but for years woman didn't know better and we don't have a world of fetal alcohol syndrome folks whose moms partied a little in moderation).

(I'm editing this in - after reading other's response to you.)
Will my response be better respected if I mention that my husband is a Doctor?? or that our home treats holistically first and only reaches for anything pharmaceutical as a last resort. How about that 90% of our diet is wholesome vegan?? How about that my children have been born completely naturally?
I would bet you that the handful of those who wanted to toot their horn for never having a drink or using it to decrease stress - also had epidurals or narcotics for pain in labor. Now that amazes me! Woman who don't drink or take aspirin in pregnancy, but will take major pain meds - right at the most crucial time for them and their child to be free and clear of anything inhibiting them! Talk about side effects! Why do you think our c-section rates are a global disgrace? Far too often, b/c mommy drugged herself and the baby up when they should have focused on birthing a baby!!

If you count communion wine (a drop on my lips once a week), I had a tiny bit during pregnancy. I did not "drink" alcohol at all during my pregnancy, if you know what I mean.

I know you said you didn't want to get into a debate and that you are planning to drink during your pregnancy, but please educate yourself about Fetal Alcohol Syndrome. Why risk endangering your child?

Generally, pregnant women should strive for a healthy pregnancy if they want a healthy birth and baby. Abstaining from alcohol, caffeine, OTC drugs, and making sure to eat a very healthy diet and get a little exercise will lower your risk of prenatal diabetes, high blood pressure, preeclampsia, etc... and help avoid unnecessary interventions during birth. I had a homebirth so I get this info from very experienced homebirth midwives, trust me, they know how to make healthy babies.

J.,

I was a bartender and a pregnant women ordered a drink from me and I would not serve her. She was so mad, I was told by my manager to serve her, I would not. I told him if he wanted serve her he could. I worked with a women who was pregnant and she drank during both pregnancies, both were born with physical deformities. I did not want to be responsible for her drinking. I know its her right and choice but I did not want that on my conscious.

I really do not see why women cannot wait nine months. My mom drank and smoked with me and my brothers. I dont know if we could have turned out any better than we did. I would have liked the chance to know.

Not making this a debate, I just wanted to put my two cents in. Good Luck!!

D.

I didn't drink and I do know that with each following pregnancy the risk of fetal alcohol damage grows greater. Also fetal alcohol syndrome may not be evident until the child reaches age 5 or later so you can't be sure there were no effects until at least then. I'm not trying to scare you or make you feel bad, but I'd be very very careful about thinking you aren't having an effect. Alcohol decreases blood volume and causes brain damage that may take years to show up.

Yes I had a glass or 2, I even had a doctor tell me to go ahead and have a glass of wine with Christmas dinner.

I am currently pregnant with my 3rd child. I didn't have a drink at all with my first two pregnancies, but have had an occasional glass of wine during this pregnancy. The Nurse that works in the office I visit also told me that it is OK to have an occasional glass of wine. Also, my sister who is pregnant with her second child has had a glass of wine here and there and no worries on her end! So, to be honest, I don't seem to think that it is an issue-my opinion! Good luck to you!!

J.,
You are correct it is a personal decision. That said I must add my 2 cents why would you want to poison your baby alcohol is known to be harmful to all but to a growing featus or nursing infant it can have life long implacations. I personally would not roll those dice I do not like the odds. I quit drinking 6 months before even trying to get pregnant and did not drink until I was done pumping. just my opinion. L.

I see you got a lot of responses and I didn't read them so I'm not sure if this will be redundant. I personally don't drink while pregnant but that's b/c I don't like many drinks. I did however live in Italy for the first 1/2 of my pregnancy with my first child. The Italians are very adamant that a glass of red wine a day is good for you when you are pregnant. In fact, when I would go out to eat, they wouldn't leave my table til they saw me take a sip of the wine. I would've had no problem drinking a glass occasionally if I actually liked it. They say it helps the blood flow or something along those lines. Like you said...it's a personal choice, but I think red wine is ok but you should avoid other types of alcohol. : )

I was recovering from back surgery when we were surprised by my daughter's conception. When we found out I was pregnant, I stopped all medication. I had some wine only once in my pregnancy. I cooked with it and all the alcohol actually cooked off. When my daughter was born she had a slew of health problems. They doctors asked if i drank or did drugs. I know it is not my fault for her health problems, the doctor's told me such because I stopped the medicine so early on in the pregnancy and took so little of the medicine anyway. But I will always feel responsible. If and when I have a child again, I won't drink or do anything else that could hurt the baby. Not for the babies sake but for my own peace of mind. So I know I did the best for her or him and that it definitely wasn't my fault.

My doctor gave me this advice - if you feel tipsy/drunk, then your baby is feeling the same and that isn't good. However, if you want to sip a glass of wine occasionally there is no harm done. Women in Europe are much more relaxed about drinking while pregnant and they don't have higher rates of fetal alcohol syndrome etc. However, it really has to be small amounts drunk slowly. I occasionally had ONE glass of wine with both my pregnancies. My girls are perfect.

yes, it is your personal choice to drink while pregnant, but pregnant women are advised not to drink for a reason. Alcohol passes to the baby when you are pregnant. Would you put wine in a baby bottle? I have read that baby's receive the same level of alcohol as you in the womb.

I have had two children and never drank alcohol. Prior to my pregnancies I drank two glasses of wine a day. When I had a craving or missed participating in celebrations, I drank Odoul's or alcohol free wine. I must admit it was hard not being able to 'unwind'. If you choose to unwind remember your choosing that for your baby too.

Are you looking for reassurance about drinking while pregnant through others because you don't want to feel guilty? Although nine months seems like an eternity when you are pregnant, it does come to an end.

I had sips of my husband's wine while pregnant, I don't think I ever ordered my own glass. So I largely abstained - to me it wasn't worth the risk (I am an older mother which compounds risk). And then in the 2.25 years since my daughter was born i was nursing and now still pumping, so i still rarely drink. Maybe a glass of wine every other month. I have to say i don't miss it one bit.

I agree that if your goal is relaxation you should seek other ways to relaxing - a nice walk outside for fresh air (even chilly as it is it does wonders for the body), a warm bath with a scented candle and soft music, get a pre-natal massage. If it were me, I'd concentrate on figuring our how to relax without alcohol (if you are drinking enough that it relaxes you that's probably too much since that's usually at least two glasses). if you are really way too stressed, definitely seek your doctor's advice about how to mitigate that.

In the end, it's always your decision and you have to be comfortable with that and the consequences.

Best of luck!

I didn't drink any. I've never had alcohol in my life and am 28. That's just me. Maybe try taking a fun class to relax? Reading a good book? I know finding the time is hard with little ones, though!

I had a couple of glasses of wine or hard cider on and off in my 1st pregnancy (never more than 1 a sitting) and to no apparent ill effect. The only concern I have about your comment/question is what a hard, stressful time you had with the first pregnancy. If this pregnancy is also difficult I'd suggest you look for some other ways than alcohol to cope. While a drink here and there won't do you or the baby any harm (IMHO), using alcohol as your primary means of dealing with stress isn't good and will eventually set a very bad example for your children (says the daughter of an alcoholic).

Hey J. -
Since marrying a European fellow, I have had a glass of wine with dinner just about every night for the last 12 years. I continued even while I was pregnant with each of my 3 boys, although I did cut down to just 2-3 nights a week, and it was always with healthy food. All of my boys are fine. I am fine. You will be fine. I travel to Europe all the time and see pregnant women enjoying wine with their dinner. They've been doing it for centuries and their population hasn't declined any.

J., this is a personal choice, I feel a glass of wine or beer once in awhile is fine. My doctor also said it was fine as long as it wasn't an everyday thing or more than that. My grandmother drank hard alcohol (Martini's) and smoked with all 3 of her pregnancies and all 3 daughters turned out fine, one in fact is a family doctor. AS long as it isn't an everyday occurrance and you aren't feeling tipsy I think it is okay.

Hello J.,
Im sorry you feel so stressed out. When I was pregnant a warm bath with some lit candles and enya did wonders for me. I also found that reading helped de-stress me. I read the twilight saga while pregnant, and it was easy to get really into them. I dont know what to tell u about the amount of alcohol that is safe for a pregnant woman because fetal alcohol syndrome is so serious that drs dont recommend any drinking period.The same for smoking, sometimes the affects dont surface in a child til they are older. My mother was on some strong medicine when she accidentally got pregnant with my sister. Drs told her that my sister would have severe birth defects. But now my sister is an adult, who is completely normal. She was even valedictorian of her high school. But she has suffered from EXTREME head aches called 'clusters' her whole life. They are very uncommon in young girls, so it was probally a result of the meds my mother took in the early stages of her pregnancy. My sister also has a small tumor on her brain. So Im not trying to 'start a debate' or criticize, but I just want you to be aware that sometimes symptoms wont surface till later in life. You only get one chance to carry your child, why risk it? I want you to know im writing this out of love, and I dont believe your a bad mother or anything. Good luck with your children and God Bless.

With my first I did not drink at all. My second I would have 2...sometimes 3 beers. It was not like I was chugging them down within an hour. My son who is the second born is perfectly fine and not to mention the cuttest little boy ever. My husband and I decided to have a third, our first 2 are 6 & 7 now. I will admit that I have had at the most 3 glasses of wine. I will also have 2 -3 beers every now and then. I do not want to confuse anyone I do not drink wine and beer at the same time. I also WILL NOT drink hard alcohol! I do worry though about the health of my baby. I am 33 weeks.

honestly,
i don't think anyone has any business ti tell people to do during pregnancy unless it is a serious threat to the baby or yourself. i think if you wanted a glass of wine every now and again, do so and don't let anyone tell you otherwise. my mom smoked with us and i turned out fine. she also had a few drinks as well.

I drank after the first trimester a few times--beer or wine but I had been trying to get pregnant for a while so for me, my alcohol tolerance was low. I had a lot more sips off my husband's drink. I was cautious b/c I am older, I got pregnant with one and only when I was 34. I know in France drinking is fine but eating a salad is NOT. It's all cultural and how comfortable you feel with it.

Good luck and try to enjoy the pregnancy. Nat

I had a sip now and then - literally a sip or two at gatherings and social events: a champagne toast, etc. Beyond that I really do believe that you are putting your child at risk. I couldn't justify taking that chance for a glass of wine.

What concerns me most about your post is the idea of relying on alcohol to relax you when you are feeling stressed out. The risks to your baby are so much higher if you are drinking enough to feel the effects of the alcohol. At that point you have enough in your bloodstream to cross the placenta, dehydrate you, etc.

I would encourage you to find other ways to relax, and talk to your OB about your anxiety. I was miserable with chronic anxiety during both my pregnancies - but there are ways to help. I sought counseling and behavioral therapy, and ultimately went on medication to help (after my babies were born and weaned).

Hi J.:

I was a frequent wine drinker myself before both of my pregnancies. In fact, I enjoyed up to two full glasses with dinner nightly even when breastfeeding my first son. Although I did supplement with bottles- this is a totally different topic.

During my current pregnancy as well as with my first, I didn't take any sips of alchohol. In Europe, I know pregnant women are allowed to drink a glass or two of wine and in most studies does not affect the fetus. I just never wanted to chance it. If you've discussed this with the OB and she isn't concerned, then I wouldn't really worry. Personally, I don't think I would risk it.

Honestly never had a drop of alcohol while pregnant. I would say speak to your Dr. Its not normal to alcohol to relax.

J.,
I had anxiety attacks during my pregnancy, and there was a lot of crying and yelling involved, so I can relate. Before getting pregnant I took Klonopin to fall asleep every night. My first trimester was so difficult b/c I had to rely on more natural methods to fall asleep and control my anxiety. I did not turn to alcohol and I'm thankful for that. Talk to your OB/midwife about herbal remedies for anxiety; try to take care of that problem FIRST before you start sipping. If you want to sip alcohol here and there I don't think it will harm your fetus, but if you rely on it to make you feel better then you are setting yourself up to potentially drink too much. To answer your question, I had a glass of beer at a wedding during my first trimester (drank it sloooowwwely), and probably 2 glasses of wine at some point during my third. Best of luck.

zero during first and second pregnancy. 1/2 a glass of wine the night before I delivered my 3rd child.
if you are are self soothing/medicating with alcohol due to feeling anxiety... I would suggest you seek some medical counsel as this is more a problem than the actual drinking of an occaisional wine here or there with a meal.

I had a few drinks of red wine here and there when I was pregnant with my now two and a half year old daughter. The advice I had received from my OB was that I should have a glass if I wanted one. He is a well known and liked doctor who is probably in his 60's so I would say he has some good experience under his belt with this.
I really get frustrated about people who say women who drink while pregnant are poisoning their babies....Should we talk about the amount of chemicals and toxins women are taking into their bodies on a daily basis....from cleaning supplies to our own makeup and shampoos....I actually worry more about those things than a little bit of alcohol here and there. Now, I would never say to drink heavily but I personally think a drink every now and then is okay. It's a personal choice we are all allowed to make on our own. And we should NOT be judged by others!
My daughter meanwhile, is brighter than I could have ever imagined she would be!! I keep her away from toxin, chemicals, and carcinogens as much as I can. I use non-toxic products for her, myself, and for my husband. Chemicals and such are the things that worry me. But, again I would NEVER push that on anyone...because it's always a matter of personal choice and opinion!
Relax and do what feels right for you!! :)

Updated

I had a few drinks of red wine here and there when I was pregnant with my now two and a half year old daughter. The advice I had received from my OB was that I should have a glass if I wanted one. He is a well known and liked doctor who is probably in his 60's so I would say he has some good experience under his belt with this.
I really get frustrated about people who say women who drink while pregnant are poisoning their babies....Should we talk about the amount of chemicals and toxins women are taking into their bodies on a daily basis....from cleaning supplies to our own makeup and shampoos....I actually worry more about those things than a little bit of alcohol here and there. Now, I would never say to drink heavily but I personally think a drink every now and then is okay. It's a personal choice we are all allowed to make on our own. And we should NOT be judged by others!
My daughter meanwhile, is brighter than I could have ever imagined she would be!! I keep her away from toxin, chemicals, and carcinogens as much as I can. I use non-toxic products for her, myself, and for my husband. Chemicals and such are the things that worry me. But, again I would NEVER push that on anyone...because it's always a matter of personal choice and opinion!
Relax and do what feels right for you!! :)

My husband and I love to have wine with dinner, so it was hard to give it up completely. I did go without (completely) the first trimester. Second trimester, I would occasionally have one sip from my husband's glass. The first time I drank a whole glass, I was about 8-1/2 months, and even my doctor had said that it would do no harm, provided it was just one glass. Good luck -- try and enjoy your pregnancy (I know, that can be easier said than done!).

I had zero drop of alcohol, caffeine or anything during both my pregnancies. My kids are fine. A friend of mine would have a glass of white wine or two, quite regularly. Her daughter is fine so far (she's four), too. I had zero, cause i had read in a scientific journal that even samll amounts do harm. My friend though is also a scientist (like me), and rightly questions if that amount of harm was big enough to be noticed later in life (she did not question that alocohol does damage the baby, just argued that the extent was negligible). It is a personal decision. My family has a history of alcoholism and i did not want to increase the risk of that in any way. Also, abstaining from alcohol was very easy for me -- i did not long for it at all. Actually, i think i would rather worry about the mom who cannot stop drinking alcohol easily more than i would about her baby. Only you know how much you need a drink and how easy it would be to have something else instead. I think it was a good idea to post this question. And i would suggest you try every other way of getting realxed before you pour yourself a glass. I am sure you deserve a lot of great things that are much more enjoyable than a glass of wine.
Happy pregnancy!
D.

I did before I knew I was pregnant. But with Fetal Alcohol syndrome a huge possibility I would not! I guess once in a while one drink but what is the limit before you child could get FAS. It is not worth the risk, is it??? I am special education major and alcohol is related to many things. Would you give your baby alcohol, just a little, what if u were nursing. Would you drink? My opinion, it is to scary what could happens. It may not, but it could.
M. - SAHM and WAHM and loving it!

http://www.WorkingGreenMoms.com

I am currently 5 mos pregnant and have had a few sips of wine here and there. My husband encouraged me to have a beer last week, but after a few sips I started to feel lightheaded so I stopped at 1/2. Pre-pregnancy, I was a weekend warrior, 3 glasses of wine Fri & Sat nights and thought it would be tough to give it up. I found that I have absolutely no cravings for alcohol so this is a good thing! But I do think if you want a glass of wine here and there is should be perfectly fine.

As for drugs during childbirth, I don't think anyone should judge someone's birth plan, it is an individual choice.

I agree with others that your overall well being and attitude during pregnancy will have a greater impact on your family than a very occasional drink. I hope you can also find some other ways to relax and not be as nervous during this pregnancy as with your first. Girl time? Yoga?

My mother-in-law told me over Thanksgiving that she attended Carnivale in Brazil when she was pregnant with my husband. Said she drank regularly when pregnant (not excessively but she definitely didn't cut it out) with him----and he went to MIT!

Happy pregnancy!

Hi J.!
I wanted to respond re drinking while pregnant.I don't care about other countries' habits. We have stunning research abilities in this country, and I trust that.
It is now considered to be unsafe for your baby to drink at ANY time during the pregnancy. It could be just that moment you may be having alcohol, when the baby is forming certain brain cells, or an ear, or an organ. Your blood is being used by the baby, and it needs to remain as pure as possible. Would you give your month old child a few sips of wine? Its the same, only worse.
If you don't drink, you won't worry, or cry.
If it is too difficult for you alone, find help to stop.It's out there. Don't jeopardize your child.
That is my truth.
I wish you all the best,
N.

Zero during all three of my pregnancies. There is no reason to drink and risk that on your baby at all. Just because your first was fine with a drink here and there doesn't mean this one would be. No one is sure of the amount of alcohol you can drink before it will effect the baby so why even risk it?

When I was first pregnant, before I knew I was, we went to a wedding and I had some drinks. Upon confirmation of my pregnancy, when I told my OB with concern, she reassured me that a glass of wine now and then, just like one cup of regular (caffeinated) coffee, is safe during pregnancy. I believe most doctors agree that drinking wine every now and then is ok. In fact, when I was at 30 weeks, I saw a new doctor who said, "During my pregnancies, it was around 30 weeks that I started to sip a cognac every night to help me get to sleep." So there you go. Her kids are fine, my kid is fine. With that said, though, I would not expect having one glass of wine every now and then to help you cope with the extreme hormones that make you cry and cry and cry. If you are having a hard time, I would talk to your OB about that. Best of luck to you and may you have a happy, healthy pregnancy and delivery!

Hi J.

I personally see no problem with having an occasional glass of wine. Last summer I was pregnant with my now 14 month old twins and after my first trimester I would have some sips of a glass of wine on a special occasion... a wedding, a nice dinner out etc. It wasn't often and I of course never had any intention of getting drunk! I remember one particular day my husband and I were in Newport, RI and it was a really hot day and for some odd reason I wanted a cold beer. I nearly knocked my husband out of his chair when I asked the waiter for one! I'm not normally a beer drinker, but that day I was craving one! And honestly, if it weren't for the fact that we were having lunch at an odd time of day and there was hardly anyone else in the restuarant to see me having a beer, I probaby wouldn't have had that beer just for the mere reason of wanting to avoid stares and whispers. On another side note/story, my husband is a musician and I would continue to go to his gigs occasionally while pregnant and the looks I would get from other people were incredible. I never drank at the places where he worked because I think it was alot for people to see a pregnant woman in a bar alone, never mind a pregnant woman "knocking 'em back"!!! Some people would come right up to me and comment about how I shouldn't be there and some people would come up to me and say "good for you!" I was really only interested in getting out of the house, spending some time with friends, and to see my beautiful husband at work. I never stayed into the wee hours or went to a bar that was super crowded for fear of being bumped around. But some people just automatically judged me for just being in a place that served alcohol!!!
My bottom line to you is, do what you think is okay. I wouldn't suggest getting drunk, but having that glass of wine you need to relax, I believe, is totally ok - and well deserved!!!! Enjoy and best of luck with your pregnancy!! ;) -S.
p.s. both my babies are 100% healthy and happy

Hi J.,

During my first pregnancy I drank an occaisonal wine/beer. On Christmas Eve, a couple of weeks before my due date, I had 3 glasses of wine over the course of the evening. My son was/is fine.

During my second pregnancy I had 1 - 2 glasses of wine per week with dinner. I occasionally had a beer in place of wine & often I wouldn't have any at all. My second son was/is fine also.

I'm not a doctor, so I won't pretend to be. I will say, however, that in my personal experience, moderation in all things is the key to healthy living. For you and for your children. Too much of anything is bad.

Maybe it's the way we look at alcohol in America that has you so conflicted? Here it's often seen as a taboo, something that is bad, that causes people to do bad things. Other cultures are much more comfortable with drinking & don't "drink to get drunk" all the time. I really believe that your ability to drink in moderation depends on your relationship with alcohol & in what context you usually drink.

You say you let yourself have a glass of wine whenever you wanted...which can be troubling. How many are we talking? The quantity is really the issue & the more you drink, the more your baby is at risk.

Ask yourself some questions: Would you be satisfied with a glass of wine with dinner? Are you wanting more than that? Are you wanting to get a buzz, or just enjoy the taste? Then consult your doctor. He/she can talk to you about the risks, then you can weigh them on your own.

Good luck

The problem with drinking during pregnancy is that they don't really have any idea where the line is of too much for the fetus (and obviously they can't do controlled studies). They have established that moderate use can cause FAS, which is a lifelong horrible thing. Since you cannot trust people to understand moderation zero tolerance is usually the guidance.

The written info I got from my OB when I was pregnant said that after the first trimester the occasional drink or 2 was fine. I personally wouldn't be comfortable with any alcohol at all during the first trimester since everything is being created then and when I was ttc I never drank at all during the 2 ww because I knew it would worry me (as it has worried everyone I've known who drank before they knew they were pregnant). I did have a glass of wine midway through my pregnancy when I went for a fancy dinner but that was it. Though I really enjoy a nice glass of wine, it really didn't seem worth it to me to worry about if it would cause harm in my baby. Aside from that it is completely useless calories and it is generally advisable to eat the most nutritious diet you can while pregnant.