Drama Queen Daughter Mopes About Everything, How Do I Get Her to Chin Up?

I am also thirty with a nine year old daughter who has been through the same thing. She is an intelligent little girl and I believe that is what makes her so sensitive. So, I found a way to speak to those aspects of her character by sitting down with her and using logic. I explained to her all the sacrifices that I have made to allow her to have the things that she wants and needs. I used specific examples and how each one affected me personally. Based off of those examples, and given the attitude that she had toward cleaning her room, what I had done for her and how she was treating me was not right. I deserved a lot more respect from her and she agreed. She now cleans her our room without having to be told and in return I allowed her to fix up her room to suit her taste and style. We are all a lot more happier. Kids their age only see things from their point of view and sometimes we, as parents, have to be in tuned with who they are in order to appeal to the different aspects of their personality. When we understand what drives our kids, individually, we can then determine how to guide them in the right direction. I also parent under the philosophy that parenting is "hit and miss". It is basically trying a bunch of different ideas until you find out which one is going to work the best for that particular child. I do not by any means feel that "one size fits all" with parenting. Every child is unique and will probably require a different parenting style.

My dd is 19. I never had too much of this problem. She was told to do something. There was no option for looks, words, or attitude. She was told, "You don't have to like it, you don't have to want to do it, but you do have to do it and you will do it quickly and cheerfully".

We did two methods--spanking and life. LOL

They can be spanked right then with a paddle and that works for some kids.

They can be grounded from life things. For instance it is a privelege to have nice clothes, rides to the movies/shopping/friends, use a phone, etc. The only thing we need are some kind of clothes for warmth, food to eat (not the junk food), and an education. We don't NEED tv, phones, computers, etc. as a child. They are just luxuries.

Either one of those things were strong motivation for dd.

For the boys writing was better. They hated that. Writing about positive things like all the nice things I have available. Sentences like we used to have to write work too, " I will not hit my sister, but be nice to her." LOL

Good luck,
ts

I have two drama queens, one is 8 and she is more sensitive than the 6 year old. We usually do time out chair which works well, she doe not like it. The specialist says every minute per year age, so our daughter gets 8 minutes, but if its something totally off the wall, she gets 30 minutes, and she defiantly does not like that. consistent is totally the only way. I hope words of wisdom are passed here.

I feel for ya girl. My two daughters are the same way. Only thing that helped them was a butt wooping once in awhile. the talking to them and working with them and all that didnt work. Im still fighting with the 9 year old to get up get it done without the drama. All I do to work through it is send them to there room. And when there ready to deal with somthing in the right way they can come out of there room. Or give them a couple of more chores to do.Or not let them talk those girl friends on the phone. It has started to work with them pretty good. We tell them to do things and dont get the ya just shot my dog look any more. If we do I dont see it there doing away from me. That is what we have ended up having to do with them and they are 9 and 8.

It is good to know that I am not alone!! I have a 9 yr old daughter who holds a drama crown! I chalk some of it up to the hormones, but that is not a pass to act crazy. We send her to her room when she acts crazy and ground her when it is outrageous. Our big thing now is her lying for convenience. So now we have implemented writing sentences. She hates that worse than getting a spanking! The best thing I have found is ignoring her when she acts spoiled. If she gets no reaction she gets no pleasure. That is not always appropriate! Man, we have the toughest job!