Double Dipping, Knife Licking, Price discussing...how to Respond?

Glad you put the question back. Hope you don't have more snarky answers. My answer the last time (or something like it) was to tell her that not everyone is comfortable discussing what they pay for stuff. And if she presses, tell her point blank that YOU aren't comfortable talking about how much you pay for stuff.

About the double-dipping - ick. Pick up the dish she has done that on and ask her to please not double dip or lick utensils that other people are sharing. No O. wants to be exposed to others' germs. She might not like you pointing it out, but everyone else will be SO relieved!

Dawn

Yes, it's rude of her to ask what everything costs but why not just answer her? I have no problem telling people what I paid for things if they want to know. I rarely ask people what THEY paid for something, but I may occasionally ask a friend or family member, "oh do you mind telling me how much that cost?" especially if it's something I'm interested in buying myself.
Now licking the cheese knife is pretty gross. Maybe next time say "oh I'm so glad you like the dip, here's a little plate for you!"

oh, yuck.
the money thing is a little easier. a smile and 'sorry, hon, we just don't discuss money' is necessary if changing the subject doesn't work with her. and if she goes to other family members? well, that's for them to handle. but YOU don't have to answer her.
the gross food behavior is a pickle, though. i'm afraid i'd have to be courteous but direct about this too. after all, it's not as if it can be ignored if the rest of you are to enjoy the food! if she double dips, bring her a small bowl, spoon out some of the dip right there in front of her, and hand it to her saying (smiling!), 'here's some all for yourself so you don't have to double dip!'
what adult licks a spreader??? EW!!! for that O. i'd probably lose the friggin' smile, take it from her and say 'okay, need to wash this now. let's get you a spoon and a dish so you can taste it if you want, but the rest of us need to use this knife.'
:/ khairete
S.

It's not deja vu...this exact question was posted a few days back.

Again, respond with "why does the price matter?" or "Oh, are you doing to Ireland too or are you just being nosy?"

As for the double dipping and licking, call her on it..."if you are going to double dip, pleae do it on your own plate"

I have read this before. Was this about your brothers girlfriend.

My answer to how much did you pay for such and such is "too much" and I leave it at that - I was brought up not to ask people about the cost of their belongings.

Double dipping and knife licking that is annoying - tell her you are a germaphobe and you would prefer if she not double dip and knife lick.

I don't understand why some of the moms are getting so upset about this question. Seems perfectly innocent to me.

Updated

My answer to how much did you pay for such and such is "too much" and I leave it at that - I was brought up not to ask people about the cost of their belongings.

Double dipping and knife licking that is annoying - tell her you are a germaphobe and you would prefer if she not double dip and knife lick.

I don't understand why some of the moms are getting so upset about this question. Seems perfectly innocent to me.

Ok asking about how much someone paid for something like a truck or a trip isn't a big deal to me. Maybe I AM interested in that model of truck and would like to know what it actually cost someone to get it. I mean I'm always on the lookout for a good bargain. We're not that uptight about money. The only time it's a no no is when it's a gift that's being given ... then NO you do NOT ask how much it cost.

As for the double dipping ... that has been proven to have no more effect on a food than sitting out in the open does. There is no significant difference.

The licking the knife would have a slightly bigger impact because of the larger surface area. But the fact is if you're in the same room with someone ... you're sharing their germs for the most part.

I think these issues should be discussed with her kindly since these are such big issues for your family. Just say nicely that your family doesn't discuss money, doesn't double dip and NO O. licks a knife and puts it back.

Yeah - I'm having this incredible de ja vu feeling - I've read this before somewhere - maybe in an answer to another question?

Some people like to talk about money even though it screeches our nerves cause we feel money/religion/politics are not for polite conversation.
Try telling her that - 'We don't discuss money, religion or politics. Those topics lead to arguments, brawls and out right riots and we don't don't like the bad feelings those generate especially within the family. We are not the Jerry Springer show.' - repeat it often as you need to.
If she wants to discuss it anyway, turn money questions into getting her to talk about her own money and finances.

As for the double dipping and knife licking - you have to bring it up when she does it (repeat as necessary - quietly at first, loudly if she repeats)
"Martha! Would you like me to serve you a drink after I spit in it for you? No? Well that's just like putting something that's been in your mouth back into something that everyone else will use. It's not sanitary or polite. Please let's not do this again. Now let's go get a clean knife or wash this O. off. Thank you!".

Hmmmm! You asked this question last week and I think it was pulled tho I'm not sure. Are you expecting to get different answers? Or ? I don't understand why it was pulled but I see it's no longer on your site. Maybe someone else asked the question? But the wording is nearly the same.

I know alot of people like this and it's so offensive!!! I was raised old school in that you NEVER ask ANYONE how much things cost. My way of avoiding awkwardness is that I blame it on my husband in the moment! I say that he would freak if i discussed that with anybody;) Good Luck, that's so tacky, hello people!

And about the double dipping, that's just disgusting and MUST be called out!!! Giving your germs as Christmas Presents is completely unacceptable! She may just need to be offended a few times to learn social norms so that everyone else's holidays, dinner and health isn't compromised!

Happy Holidays!

Miss Manners suggests answering questions with "Why do you need to know such a personal detail?" Followed by an uncomfortable silence.

It's not a rude response, as Miss Manners does not condone being rude. However, it puts the ball back in the other person's court with a little bit of an "edge" as they have to answer why they are being nosy. The uncomfortable silence is meant to make them uncomfortable with their question. Hopefully they would not ask again (or not ask you again).

It also gives them a chance to say "Well, I'm planning a trip, and I'd love to know how much to save." Then they have a legit reason to ask, and you've not done anything rude.

Where I am from it's rude not to tell someone how much something cost if asked. As a family we are very open about these things, as are most families I know. So, while it might be rude to ask a stranger how much something cost, it's natural to ask a family member. Maybe she feels like a part of the family. As for the double dipping, maybe you could get a hold of the Seinfeld episode about double dipping and show it to her. Maybe she would get the hint.

People are people and speaking as O. who makes plenty of mistakes in social situations I think you can nicely say something like why do you want to know how much this cost? After a while she may realize what she is doing, but I am not always aware what I am doing is rude or hurtful to someone unless they point it out. Yes she should know this but she doesn't. Putting it back on her may help her to see the awkwardness of it, and is not being rude to her at all. As for the double dipping, well it happens, I am personally disgusted by it, and you can again make a comment on it. Or use yourself as an example so she doesn't feel attacked, like maybe when you see her do it, take a chip or something and take a bite, and say something, oops didn't get enough the first time but don't want to double dip. She may not even know what she is doing is inappropriate. As for the knife and I would outright say, "Dear that is just not acceptable, i love u but don't want to share your germs." or something similar. You can use that even for the double dipping. She doesn't have to listen or change her behavior(hopefully she would), but at least you are heard. We can't force people to change but I do believe it our responsibility to open our mouth and speak when we see or notice something. She may be grateful in the long run for the hint or advice. Or she may ignore it but you did your part. If we don't talk to people we don't give ourselves and others the opportunity to grow or change.

Ask far as asking how much things cost, just keep sidestepping and others can answer or not. Anyone can ask questions, it's up to others to answer or not, as they see fit. You can't control what others choose to answer.

I think you have to let the double-dipping go, and just remind yourself that's why you have an immune system. You've probably been exposed to worse in most restaurants. But as far as licking the knife goes, I think you can be more blunt. Say it kind of with humor, something like, "Mary, I love you (even if you don't love her), but your germs, not so much. I'm probably squeamish but can you please refrain from licking the knife, or get out a new O.?"

The blunt approach is probably best. If she hasn't learned about licking communal knives by now, it's time.

This person is from MMP?

Let the other family members handle how they answer her "costly" questions. Me, personally, I would respond with I don't remember the cost exactly..maybe check the Web if you want exact figures.

Sounds like she has a tact problem, whic isn't your problem.

As for the double dipping? I would use plastic knives in her presence.

Why are you inviting someone from MMP to holiday dinners?

I wonder why your last post on this exact question was pulled.

I'm sure you remember my original post.

Happy Holidays