Donate or Save

I think I would keep the stuff for now.

I'm always amazed when I hear of couples that have a difference of opinion on this matter. To me children is a BIG topic to discuss before getting married and it is a deal breaker if the two are not on the same page. My husband and I have a friend that got married several years ago, he would love to have a family but she doesn't want kids. We just don't understand how they got as far as marriage with such a big difference of opinion.

M

Donate it. Someone can use the stuff now. Besides do you really want to store it for in all probability years to come?

that is rather thoughtful and kind of you to think so far in the future for you friend, but you have the cart waaaaay before the horse on this plan. She's only contemplating....between the actual leaving and actual finding and making a baby with a new man...you're talking years. Best donate the stuff to a momma who needs the technology now, not later.

If you keep it for her, keep it at your house and say nothing. Divorce is difficult enough without a box of "maybe baby" stuff staring you in the face.

Unless your friend has expressed her desire to have those things of yours, I would donate them now. If you choose to save them for her, I wouldn't give them to her until the situation is ironed out--nothing would make a man dig his heels in faster than for his wife to come home with a box of baby clothes when he hasn't even agreed to have kids.

But, really, ugh, didn't they discuss this before they got married?

OMG you donate only. Do not even consider giving her baby things! Talk about a knife in her heart.

Donate!
I tend not to keep stuff for "maybe someday" situations.

Best to donate. Things dry out if not sealed properly. What is in today is out tomorrow.

Find a new momma to be or a shelter and donate the items. Take a tax write off and move on.

Don't move more items than you must. I have done this several times and wondered why x was still there when it should have been disposed of.

Have a safe move.

the other S.

PS You don't know the mind set of your friend especially after she does get divorced. She may not have the space or decide she doesn't want any kids and has this "stuff" to get rid of.

I guess it depends on how much you value your space. I have a really hard time handling clutter, and my rule is if it has not been used in the last year and will not be used in the next year, I do not keep it. Especially if I was moving, anything in question would be donated/sold/thrown away because the more items you move, the more your costs go up (bigger moving truck or more trips/gas, also just more hassle in packing and moving boxes).

If you think about the fact that she is not even pregnant yet- in fact, not even divorced yet- it could be years before she has a baby, if she even does. If she does, are your baby clothes gender neutral? Who is to say the clothes are her style? Is she ok with using a used breast pump (a lot of people are not). Also factor in the fact that a lot of baby items get recalled for safety issues or even if they are safe, better items come on the market... I would not hold on to those baby items for her. I would only NOT donate them if I knew FOR SURE someone was having a baby in the next 6-9 months or so and FOR SURE wanted those items (in which case- I would hand them the box and make THEM store it)

If there is stuff your friend is willing to take now, let her have it. Anything that is left, donate immediately. Don't take anything with you when you move. She can be responsible for storing whatever stuff she wants.

I agree to donating it to a mom that can use it now.

If your friend is determined to be pregnant within the year, give her the things (if she wants them). Otherwise, donate them to a pregnancy center, a thrift store, or a mama you know who needs them now. Five years from now they'll just be "old things" (unless the clothes are extremely high quality) and won't attract much interest. Even your friend will want to buy new baby things then.

oh, I think maybe your heart is in the right place but giving your friend baby stuff when she #1 isnt' pregnant and #2 isn't (going to be) married is just weird.

donate it to a charity, sell it, and IF she finds someone to raise a child with and is blessed w a new baby, buy her a nice gift . I'm sure she would prefer new anyways.

now if you want to keep a box for yourself for sentimental reasons that is completely different, and if WHEN she actually has a child you could pull from there, but don't keep stuff FOR anyone else.

Keep. How nice of you!

Perhaps I am confused but what does leaving her husband have to do with breast pumps? Is she planning on getting knocked up and then leaving him because that sounds a bit crazy and I am fairly sure the courts wouldn't find that amusing.

Donate and get the tax benefit.

It is sweet of you to think of her but she is not yet divorced and not close to being married again and getting pregnant.

By the time she does get pregnant, if in fact she does, the items could be too old and newer better things would be available (as far as breast pump, etc.) Per SWH... I was not a BF'r but still.... I would never donate or purchase a used pump so you should be good to go there.

I think your idea of keeping a box of your favorite things is good. My mom gave me the box my grandmother saved of her special things and it is very sweet.

with my best intentions of saving my best things for good friends, in the end, i gave it to those around me who actually had babies. Some were in need, some just friends who would appreciate the hand- me- downs that had the same gender of the proper age for my size of closet clean out. Your intentions are good, but you need to clean house and she does not as of yet have children and may never. Give it to someone else or donate to a local charity like your local crisis pregnancy center.

If she is that good of a friend, I would ask her what she wants you to do. My sister and I have switched many things back and forth and have loved having the hand me downs to help save money! But I have a cousin whose SIL gave her things before she was ever pregnant. She ended up divorced and having to deal with all this stuff for a baby she never had. It made a painful time worse for her.

Now that my sister and I are done having kids, when we outgrow something I offer it to friends that I think might have a need for it. If they want it great. I let them know I don't want it back and they are free to donate or pass along as they see fit. If my friends don't want it I donate to our local woman's shelter. Either way I feel good that the items are going to people who need them and will use them!

I'd keep one box with a few main important thing like a special toy, special blanket, a special gadget etc.

You can always buy her things at the time if and when she is ready.

Donate the rest so someone in need can use them now.

i'd ask her.
khairete
S.

I kept all the important stuff (pretty outfits, breast pump, mobile, etc), but I had room to keep it. When one of best friends became pregnant last year, I gave it all to her. It's really about whether you have room to store it or not.

I'm sitting here growling at this poor woman's husband.But if he established that information before they married, then she reminds us you can't change people.
If you really think it's just a matter of her finding a donor, then keep the stuff in a box somewhere, but that could be a long time, so perhaps you could hold a shower for her one day? Sorry to hear that about her. The guy doesn't know what he is missing. But she is smart to move on if he means it.