Dogs, Cats, and Young Children

Updated on October 23, 2007
K.K. asks from Keller, TX
39 answers

So I will try to make this very long story into a shorter one. We have a 2-yr old and 4-yr-old. So at the beginning of the summer we rescued a terrier mix from the Humane Society. Had that dog 3 wks and determined that she had an aggressive streak (and plus she was very itchy and had some sort of skin thing which in turn really irritated my allergies) and was not suited for a home with small children. Found her a new home and then decided to get the dog that I'd be researching and wanting for a long time, a Havanese. So brought home the puppy and they are not supposed to shed, which would be great for my allergies. Had her 2 wks and realized that she was shedding...there is a recessive short-hair gene and, lucky us, we ended up getting one of the ones that shed. So the breeder still had one more puppy that was a non-shedder and after agonizing over the decision, we decided to go ahead and trade the shedding dog for the non-shedding since that was one of the main reasons we decided to get that breed (well, that and the fact that they were supposed to be great with kids). Well, apparently we have a bad combination of a 4-yr old boy that just cannot respect boundaries and a dog that won't tolerate it. You would think my son would learn because the puppy has snapped at him and he still is too crazy around the dog. (Yes...we supervise the interaction between dog and children, but are having a hard time with my son learning the rules on appropriate behavior with a dog.) We have been given many warning signs from the puppy so I know I would never forgive myself if somebody really got bitten. Tonight my 2 yr old fell on him and the puppy lunged right for my daughter's face. Thank God there was no actual bite. I understand that the dog is just trying to protect himself, but I have to protect my kids above all else, so we just feel like this puppy would do so much better in a home with no kids or kids that are much older...don't you think? And one more thing about dogs...we may just have a really high standard because we had a golden retriever when my son was an infant and those are the most gentle dogs in the world.

So, my kids really love cats and that is what they truly wanted in the beginning, but my husband wouldn't really go for it because he's just more of a dog person. So now we're thinking we should have just gotten a cat. I haven't had a cat though since I was a little girl so I'm needing feedback on whether or not this would be a good idea, given the previous situation. If we do decide to get a cat, we will definitely be waiting a while. But I was curious what experience people with young children have with cats or kittens. I just really don't want to make another really bad decision here!

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So What Happened?

Wow! Have some of you ever heard the term..."if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all?" Seriously people. Thanks for kicking a girl when she's down. I already feel bad enough for the circumstances, and I didn't post this hoping to get personally attacked for my decisions. The whole point was to get feedback so that I would NOT make another bad decision...as I stated.

For the rest of you, thanks for all the responses. As far as the allergies go, I had allergy testing done a while back and they determined that I am allergic to dogs, not cats. At first I thought they had it wrong because I had always been around dogs and didn't think I was allergic. But once they told me that, I started paying attention and realized...oh...so this is why I always feel like I have a cold. It's because I'm allergic to this dog that's sleeping with me every night. No, I have not had the kids tested for animial allergies yet. My chiropractor is currently treating me for food allergies and other environmental allergies, and I did learn he can also treat me for dogs. So knowing that I can be treated, we may end up getting another golden retreiver in a few years, as we know that those are the best dogs in the world. When I was a little girl I had an outside cat that we would be petting very gently and then suddenly she would just attack. We never did understand why she was like that because it was never provoked. Anyway, I just wanted to hear some other input on cats because my kids love them so much (as did I when I was young). We knew we were definitely going to be waiting a while before we maybe try again (or maybe not!) on any kind of pet, but all of your responses have helped in determining the amount of time we need to wait.

Thanks!

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K.S.

answers from Dallas on

I have had cats most of my life. We had two cats when my son was born.(He is almost 3 now). They were more scared of him and stayed out of his way. We lost one of the cats(he died) when my son was about 9 months old. We got a new kitten in May and my son loves him. Yes he does have razor sharp claws, but he has never used them on my son and my son carries him around, puts him the stroller, carries him in the laundry basket. When the cat has had enough he leaves and hides. The short-haired one definitly sheds less than the long-haired one. They do bread cats for people who have allergies (they are pricey) and a friend of my actual bought a hairless cat (a little weird looking).
I have always taught my son how to treat the cats and it has never been an issue. The cats have never snapped or swiped at him.
Good Luck!

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S.S.

answers from Wichita Falls on

FTR, I have both - one dog, two cats, a reptile, a rodent, and several children.

My recommendation is that you stick with just children until BOTH of your children are old enough to understand animals' boundaries... then the three of you take a puppy training class together, and THEN get a dog (or a cat, or a fish, or a lizard if you prefer). My children (all but the youngest) take care of their animals with me checking behind them - but the dog was here before the kids, and she is a tolerant old soul... my four year old has adopted her and feeds and waters her every day. The cats take advantage of the top of the refrigerator and a couple of shelves that we put HIGH just for their use, and the others live in their respective owners rooms - no younger siblings allowed.

Just from the description, I think if you wait 3 - 5 years, you (and your kids, AND your pet) will have a much better experience than if you force the issue now.

Animals don't like little kids. Some of them like adults, and they're willing to tolerate the kids in order to keep getting food and water - but no animal is going to endlessly tolerate getting their eyes gouged and their tail pulled without some recourse.

S.

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M.S.

answers from Dallas on

I agree with the posts saying you guys need to wait a bit before taking in a pet. We've never had an issue with my daughter respecting dogs, but then she's been raised around them since day 1. And we've instructed and guided her in how to act around them since she was able to walk/talk and otherwise interact with them. She's never pulled tails, aggravated, or done anything else untoward when it comes to our dogs. If you have a family member or friend who has dogs(or cats if you feel that would be a better match for your family) that are family/kid friendly, I would suggest find out if they will allow you to bring your kids around the animals some to help socialize your children with animals. Start with short visits and move up to longer ones. Just as dogs need socialization to learn how to interact with other dogs and people, children need socialization in order to understand how to act around animals.

I am not bashing you by any means. I'm just saying that it's hard for a child who hasn't been around animals much to understand how to respect them. It's not something that just comes naturally. This site has a good explanation of kids and animals coexisting and how dogs and cats view the children.
http://www.thewagway.com/pets_and_children.htm

One of the best things we've done with our dogs is create a pack order. Our dogs know that every human in our household is higher ranking than they. We also practice NILIF(Nothing in Life is Free) with them. You can Google it and find some good articles that explain it, but an example would be: when giving our dog a treat, that dog MUST sit(or other command we give) before receiving the treat. No sit=no treat. They have to understand that in order to get something, they have to obey. My daughter helps to feed our dogs and she makes them sit and stay while she puts the food down, then she says Come when the food is down and she has moved away from it. If the dog attempts to move towards the food before she's set it down, she picks it back up and starts the sit/stay command over. Having her help with this establishes HER higher ranking in our family, which helps the dog respect her as she respects him.

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C.S.

answers from Sherman on

I was raised with cats but being that I am 42, I do not remember. If the allergies bother you, at any local pet store you can buy this stuff that takes the dander off their hair. Kittens become quite accustom to baths if you start when they are young. Mine are 6 months now and do not mind at all. But since I have little grandchildren (6,4,2) I was concerned about this when I wanted to get one. We got a kitten. We taught them the way to hold him and when they got caught doing it wrong. We took the cat away. He was alittle agressive and then we adopted another another kitten (not on purpose). Anyway for some reason she calmed him down and she was such a calmer kitten. I think females must be calmer. Anyway to make a longer story shorter. LOL. They have learned to handle the cats correctly. For the past 6 months, we have all lived in harmony. everyone gets along. I do not worry about injuries, other than the little kitten nips that we all recieved when they were teething. These left no injuries, just they have those kitten sharp teeth. I tried to teach them not to do that and give them a toy. I think a kitten would be a great idea. I would not start out with a grown cat though.

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A.K.

answers from Dallas on

Adding a family pet to the mix at this point whether cat or dog may be very difficult. I would wait. Kittens are kittens are they have little razor sharp claws and quite honestly, cats just like to be left alone and children tend to frighten cats. Wait until your youngest is turning four or five. We ran into the same problem this year and we decided after LOTS of pleading from our oldest child that now is really not the right time to add a dog or cat to the mix.

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S.C.

answers from Dallas on

As a person with dogs, cats and kids, I can tell you that a cat will be no better in your situation than a dog. Instead of bites there will be scratches. I had my eye scratched by a cat at three from not respecting boundaries. Cats are far less willing to be played with than dogs. Kittens are playful and of course it all depends on the animal's personality, but typically a cat is going to be far less into playing at the kids will than a dog.

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J.T.

answers from Dallas on

K.,

We had two cats and a dog when my son was born. He loves them all. He is two now and we have no issues with him and our cats. If he starts to aggravate them they just run for higher ground where he can not reach them. (nice thing about being a cat you can always get away lol.)We have two snowshoe siamese cats which to begin with are very docile. You may have an issue with the hair though. Most cats I think shed some. Hope this helps.

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C.H.

answers from Amarillo on

I think your kids are still just too little to have any pets around, your children don't have the control or the understanding at this age for pets. I have a 4 yr old boy too and he is around cats and dogs at my in laws and from time to time he still gets scratched from the cats for pulling tails and not being very nice (he has his nice times too and loves animals)he just doesnt have the self control or the understanding to know what might happen if he does something. We have a guinea pig at home and he does pretty well with her, but shes in a cage. So I wouold say your children just arent old enough yet for a pet, I would wait till there around 7 or 8.

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M.B.

answers from Dallas on

Your son is just too young and of a personality type that is likely to have problems with pets for quite some time. I did not get a dog until my youngest was 8, in particular because I knew he would have a hard time respecting the animal's boundaries as he has the same issue with other family members and cats that we already had. And, I know that dogs are pack animals and want to assert their position in the family, as well. And, yes, you were just really, really lucky with your Golden. I don't think you'll have much better luck with a cat, as your son is just too young and of a personality type that has difficulty respecting animals. We had cats when my son was younger (they were older than him) and they spent years hiding from him. Only in the past couple of years, can he pet my old kitties. Cats can cause serious injuries with their scratchies and if you were to declaw the cat, the bites are even worse and they will bite and scratch to defend themselves from someone that's mis-handling them.

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V.B.

answers from San Antonio on

Dogs no matter what size shed, in my younger yeas had a roomie who had a small dog. No matter how much she was brushed, groomed and such there was hair in doors.

Cats are a little better get one as a kitten, and teach your son about touching the kitten softly. My nieghbors daughter came over one day and squeezed our kitten. The kitten then scratched her pretty good in self defense.

Cats shed some but not as much as a dog, we have marble colored cats ...one kitten the other a grown cat. My husband has allergies so I mop, clean sofa (everyday or every other) and comb cats too. ( ours are medium haired cats, maybe getting a short hair would be the easiest)

p.s. My youngest brother, has two cats he breeds and often times has kittens for free....email if your intrested or want to see pictures

Good luck V.

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H.L.

answers from Dallas on

You definately might want to wait until the kiddos are a little older. When you do think you're ready, just keep in mind that kittens are generally very, very active (and can be destructive).
I would recommend that if you are getting a young kitten (less than 3 months old), that you actually get 2 littermates instead of just bringing one home. Kittens have a need to wrestle & fight (that's how they learn boundaries & how to socialize). If there's not another kitten or cat around to wrestle and fight with, then your ankles and your kids legs will be the target. Plus, a pair of kittens will just be more happy and content together.

On the other hand, if you opt for an older cat and are adopting it, they will usually tell you what the temperment of the cat is and if they do well around kids.

If you are really wanting to get something for your kids now so that they can have something to "take care of" and learn about, beta fish are a pretty good start. The only downside.....the mad dash to the pet store after the kids have gone to bed to find another beta that looks just like their precious pet...... ;-)

Good luck!

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J.H.

answers from San Antonio on

Well, I used to be a zookeeper for many years before I became a mother (I have 2 young ones now) so I have professionally worked around animals for over 10 years. We had 2 cats already before either of my kids were born. However, I don't think I would personally get a pet like a cat or dog already having kids until they are older. No matter what the personality of the animal you always have to keep in mind that they are animals and have the capacity to injure a small child. I would wait until your youngest is about 4. That way they are old enough to treat an animal properly as well.

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J.M.

answers from San Antonio on

Hi, K.. Wow. You definitely have your hands full. I agree with you about giving the dog away-I would be the same. I have a 5yr old, 2 yr old and 10 month old and was just given a kitten rescued from a dumpster. She is about two to three months old and crazy, as kittens are. The kids won't leave her alone and she has scratched the baby, but they are both learning boundries. The kitten has learned to hide, the baby is learning to be gentle. I also have an two adult cats and the same applies. It seems that cats are more suited to kids, to me, because they can hop away and onto things the kids can't reach, ie the furniture, or hide under or behind things. I don't know if this helps, lol, but I am a cat person and know that having them has helped my two year old son, who used to be really rough with animals and has now calmed down a bit since cats like to payback. lol I also would rather have a cat than a large dog, who could in fact do some serious damage to the kids. I rambled, I'm sure, but I think that a cat would be great for your family. Good luck on whatever you choose.

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L.F.

answers from Killeen on

I rescued a flame point siamese from teh local shelter about 5 years ago. He was the most loving kitten with me but with my ex he was an awnry little critter. When I found out I was pregnant and as the delivery time aproched I was not sure how the cat would react. MY daughter was born in July 2004 and my cat was already with me for a few years and set in his ways. Surprise Surprise!!!! Tate (the cat) at first was scared of the baby and the new noises in teh house (crying)... at first he would not even be in the same room with her. The he ventured into teh eoom but would not go near here.... tehn he slept on the floor next to the bed... and after that he slept on the bed but only at the foot.... Well - my daughter is 3 now and since she was about 6 months old - Tate has become her watch dog. She wakes me every time he hears her whimper or cry out in her sleep - even if its just a quick dream induced whimper. She rolls on him and feeds him and he waits for her at the door instead of me. If she is not with me - he just gives me that inquisitive look like - momma where is she?

I have also been thinking of a puppy for the house - but I am slowing introducing my daughter to teh though because she is used to the cat but not thrilled about dogs. Good luck in your search and just remember to take your time.

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K.A.

answers from Dallas on

K.,

We have had really good luck with Burmese cats. WE have 2 and they are the best pets I have ever had. We have a 6, 4, and 3 year old, and both cats are very tolerant. They are extremely social (love to be around people all the time, temperment more like dogs than cats). They are short haired and don't shed. There is a breeder in Rockwall that we used to purchase both cats and couldn't be happier with the decision. Good luck!

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C.G.

answers from Dallas on

I'm not sure I can add much to what others are saying or not. We have a very large cat (we think Maine Coon mix or something). He is the most gentle and loving guy - he's been around since before my daughter was born - she's three now.

She has no respect for his boundaries - lays on him, strangles him, pulls his tail, and now tries to pick him up. He mostly puts up with it - although she will get an occasional pawing. Even though he has claws, he rarely scratches her.

My husband also has allergies, and while they do act up with a shedding, long hair cat in the house, our particular breed doesn't seem to have as much dander as other cats and dogs we've been around - so my husband's allergies have been manageable.

I do however, agree with others that it would be fine to wait on another animal. Kittens and puppies are typically not a good mix with little kids - even the best can get a little rough. It sounds like you had great luck with the retriever - I know they are excellent with kids.

Also, in the Fall 2007 issue of Real Simple Family - they had a guide on dogs, cats, and other pets listing different breeds that are good for different reasons. If you can't find it online, I'd be happy to send it to you. Just backchannel me at ____@____.com

~C

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L.L.

answers from Dallas on

some cats are not good for people with allergies. they have dander that can really get them going. everytime someone that is allergic comes over their allergies start to freak out. do your kids have allergies. and also cats are not very understanding to children. if a dog cant handle it a cat is a BAD idea. cats will bite. they have the dirtiest mouths of all domesticated animals. my own cats have bitten me before for petting them when they dont want to. i love cats but i have a 19 month old and the cat will but up with him for about 5 min then start getting upset. you might want to just wait a few years and try with a dog again. it might seem weird but larger dogs are calmer with young kids and more patient. i have an american terrior and she is wonderful with my son. all dogs as puppies are rougher with play "biting". but my dog is 3 and we have had no problems with her with my son. always supervised!!! make sure the kids know not to go around the dog while its eating. hope this helps.
k

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A.O.

answers from Austin on

So, I am guessing this email will be ill-received, but it sounds to me that your family is not a "pet family" if your kids have trouble with dog boundries then they could seriously hurt a cat (that is much smaller). I don't know if it is about high standards, giving up too soon, or bad dog matches (3 times), but non-the less, that is a lot of pets to go through in a short time, and it seems to me that maybe you should wait until your kids are both over 5 and revisit a pet.

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A.J.

answers from Dallas on

Hi there I have trained, showed and owned dogs for 20+ years, If I may offer a few suggestions, your puppy needs a play pen or private area to be when the children are too crazy and so the pup can have her space. A MUST is to train the dog and let the children be a part of that training. I would start of with a few private sessions for the entire family and then you can take the dog to a group training if that works better on the budjet. but make sure you include the entire family in the private sessions because the children need to hear from a professional (not just "Mom and dad") the rules on how to treat the dog.

training the dog and the family is a must.
also take walks together this bonds you as a pack and the puppy is seeing the kids as litter mates and not authority figures.

it also helps to give each child a responsibility for the pet like water/food, brushing, to teach them that it is not a toy and needs to be taken care of.
I have 3 boys, ages 4.5, 2.5 and 13 months and I also have a great dane and a brussels Griffon 9wk puppy (very tiny only 1.5 pounds) and they each take care of the pup in there own way, the 13 motnh old I am teaching to brush his hair and the 2.5 year old takes him out to potty and the 4.5 yr old gets his food and water... All dogs are work no matter what breed and it just takes time and training of both the dog and family.
Good luck, AJ

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K.F.

answers from Dallas on

K.-

A cat will shed as well...won't that bother your allergies? My opinion...get an older dog from a shelter. In my experience (I'm a Pet-Sitter and dog owner) Puppies and small kids are not a good mix. Plus a puppies personality can change as it grows. With an older dog what you see is what you get. We adopted a Beagle from a rescue about 7 months ago and it has been the BEST DOG I have ever had. I have a two year old who does not always understand how to be gentle and our dog is wonderful with him. We looked in shelters for months and when we found our dog we spent a good hour playing with her to see how she would react to our son. Hope this helps, good luck.

K.

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A.C.

answers from Dallas on

Hi K.,

It's hard to have two active children and find the perfect pet for them. I have had both cats and dogs off and on my whole life but feel I really prefer cats because they're so easy. I have had the same two cats for the last 14-15 years. I had a male tabby who passed away a couple of years ago and still have a female shell cameo persian. My two youngest children who are now 4 yrs.(boy) and 7yrs.(girl) have enjoyed having our cats around. Both cats have been wonderful and patient with my children who are both very active/rough. My tabby nipped at my daugter only once because she fell extremely hard on him. Other than that, both cats have been very tolerant and loving towards the children. If you decide to get a cat, you have to be careful with the breed of cat you choose. Just like dogs, each breed has it's general temperment and some are better with children. The followig link is a good place to check out the different traits and temperments of the various breeds of cats. http://www.cfainc.org/breeds/profiles/ragamuffin.html
Maybe this will help you make a more informed decision if you decide to get one.

Good luck!
A.

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L.T.

answers from Dallas on

I suggest you find an older animal (Dog or Cat). They usually are more tolerant of young children. Make your children part of the choosing process. Go to a shelter and see how they and the animals react to each other. If the animal approaches the children and is friendly then you are more likely not to have problems with it at home. By doing this you will be saving yourself a lot of hassle with worrying about the animal hurting the child, or having to train the animal. Also you are saving the life of an animal that might otherwise be put down. Also... do not shun getting a mixed breed animal. They are often the most even tempered and friendliest. (The most friendly and well behaved dog my grandma ever had on her farm was a mutt.) Also note: I am owned by ten mixed breed cat's who live very happily in the same house. All were adopted from shelters, or rescued off the street and kept when no one claimed them.

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C.R.

answers from Dallas on

I too would suggest you wait until your oldest is alittle better able to be around an animal. Cats can be very defensive and become aggressive when treated too ruff. I worked at a feline practice and learned that it is possible to have a friendly cat, you just have to not play with them with any of your body parts (hands, feet) and always use a toy instead. Also people just seem to love to play cats really hard and roll them over on their backs and let them "attack" their hands. Very wrong.
So with that said I would suggest that 1st you take the time to have your son learn how to respect animals and care for them and then decide on a pet.
Any animal if pestered enough will become aggressive.
Best Regards,
C.

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A.D.

answers from Dallas on

Hi K.!
DEFINITELY wait on the pet situation (on any pet). If your son is having issues with respecting animals and their boundaries then I really wouldn't put an animal into into your home. It's not fair to the animal and it's not fair to your children. Also, I have had cats my whole life and I can tell you this. SOMETIMES cats are not as loyal as dogs. Notice how I say sometimes. If you make a cat aggravated enough times it may end up thinking that it wants nothing to do with you. And then every time you or your child goes near the cat it is in defense mode and ready to attack because it expects someone to make it upset again. Or will simply scratch or bite just to let you know that it wants to have nothing to do with you. Cats must really be respected and handled with care. Not that dogs don't, it's just that dogs tend to be soooo loyal and people pleasing that it takes A LOT to make a dog dislike you. If you think that your son will not be able to give the cat it's deserved space and respect (no chasing, pulling it's tail, grabbing at it to try and catch it, etc.) then hold off on the cat. Animals are animals and they are unpredictable. You wouldn't want something happening to your children. (On a side note, my 2 year old cousin recently had her face ripped off by her family dog. I know that is horrible to tell you but, animals are animals). Good luck.

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S.D.

answers from Tyler on

Trust advice from someone who knows after the actual bite. Wait one more year and crate train a dog that is young with the children. Give limited supervised exposure for a few (3) months before turning them loose with each other. The 2 yr old will be over the terribles and the 4 yr old will be old enough to understand protecting sister. It will be worth the wait.
47 yr old grandmom who raised dogs and kids and still had a catastraphy

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R.I.

answers from Dallas on

Okay I have had 2 great experiences with cats and my son. Before my son was born my husband wanted a cat so we got one. She is the most boring cat you have ever met. Yes she is sweet and she will put up with my son but 90% of the time she hangs out in the bathroom (i have no idea why) and she sleeps. When she wants to be petted she comes to one of us or my son and she is petted then returns to her bathroom. Strange cat but I love her. So as for the second cat when my son was about a year old I was driving down the road and found a baby kitten just lying there. We were going to take it to the animal shelter but because he had ringworm(which is easily treated) they were going to put him down so we decided to nurse him back to health then take him to the shelter. Needless to say 6 months later we still had that cat. My son my husband did and I all fell in love with him. He was friendly and playful and he absolutely adored my son (he insisted on sleeping with him at night) which was really great because our son use to have a hard time sleeping at night and for some reason that cat fixed the problem. Here is the sad part the cat was an indoor/outdoor cat he always came home when we called and one day he never came home. I would give anything to have that cat back. We have tried out other cats with our son and our current cat but they always end up being given away because they don't get along with one or both of them. (our current cat got along great with our old cat) So as for cats it is really going to depend on the temper of the cat. Like I said we had to totally different personalities with our cats. I would suggest going to an animal shelter and asking if you could spend sometime with the cats, they normally have a room were you can do this. Find the cat that best suits your children.

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A.J.

answers from Killeen on

i'm sorry you've had such bad luck with dogs. i don't think the dog's aggression has anything to do with your kids though. dogs should be able to be trained to tolerate kids playing roughly and invading their space, etc. have you thought about just getting a short-haired dog that doesn't shed hardly at all? i would suggest a lab, boxer, or bull breed. in my experience they are the best short-haired dogs for kids! we have a lab-boxer mix and a pit bull and they have no aggression towards our kids whatsoever. the kids can jump on them while they are sleeping, play in the dog food while the dogs are eating, get in the kennel with the dog, take toys from the dogs, etc. my 1 yr. old even bit our pit on the butt once and he didn't do anything! it is a matter of getting a dog that is bred to interact well with people, especially kids. and also, you need to make sure the dog knows that the kids are in charge as well, so the dog won't try to be their mom or dad you know? we let our kids lead the dogs around on a leash in the house to teach the dogs to obey them. we also have been teaching them a new command we phrase "watch the baby" so they know to calm down when the kids are around b/c even while playing a dog can knock a little kid down and hurt them.
when you are looking for a new dog (if you do) you need to bring your kids with you and look for aggressive signs. you should be able to touch the dog's rear end with no reaction. you should be able to open their mouth and stick your hand in. the dog should tolerate being hit by a little kid (b/c it takes time to teach a kid to be gentle).
i would suggest doing lots of homework on dog breeds and their interaction with kids before you choose another dog. i hope this helps! i never had dogs as a kid and i think dogs are such wonderful pets for my kids to have to teach responsibility, compassion, and leadership

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S.P.

answers from Dallas on

K.,

I've been through the dog and cat battle for 15 years. We have tried a number of breeds, ages, etc, all to be returned to the spca or breeder. I agree with everyone else. Wait until your youngest is a bit older.
We are a family of six, with the youngest turning 4 in February. She has just now come to enjoy our gentle boxer. She loves him, and he LOVES her! We've had a laid back rescue cat for almost 5 years, and recently added a maine coon 6 month old kitten to the mix. He is very good with my youngest, as she totes him around over her shoulder, puts him in baby strollers, etc.
Do your research on both cat and dog breeds. When your youngest is a bit older, visit breeders, the spca, or rescue organizations. Spend alot of time getting to know the dog/cat before you bring them home. Ask if you can have a home visit with the pet before adopting, many organizations do.
I can assure you that waiting will make all the difference in the world, and you will have another happy addition to your family!

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J.D.

answers from Dallas on

Hi K.,
I used to be a surgical tech at a pet hospital, and 2 cats and 2 dog owner so I feel able to answer your question.

First let me say that I'm sorry for all the doggie troubles. I know how that can be. I think you are correct in trying to find a breed that can tolerate little people and there can definately is a difference. The general rule is that the bigger the breed the more patience. But when dealing with puppies they are all immature. So putting 3 immature personalities togethter you will have some issues. I don't know if you are willing to try again but a Bichon sounds like a good fit. Good for allergy suffers and Super patient with kids.

If you are thinking about a cat...I think that's a crap shoot. We have a very sweet and tolerant cat and still our five year old can still get her to bite her. Not trying to sound like a mean mom, but I have to side with the cat. She puts up with so much and is so sweet 95% of the time, but every being has a snapping point. She is declawed. The risk with cats is that they can be so independent and may not bond with both children. But they are easier to have in the home. No walks etc... I love having cats and 2 together are better than just one.

Pets are so hard sometimes. You might look into a Bichon. We are thinking about adding one to our Golden, and terrier mix (pound) it's always a tough decision.

I hope I have helped some. Good Luck.
Jen

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T.O.

answers from Dallas on

I recommend waiting till your youngest is 5 years old. It seems like you have a lot on your plate and puppies and kittens are just something you don't need to deal with right now.

Kittens can bite and scratch too and if you have a rambunctious toddler, that is going to create a negative situation for the new pet.

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A.L.

answers from Beaumont on

K., I noticed that in a earlier post someone suggested Aussie's I have had 4 Australian Shepherds and I would highly recommend them. They don't shed that much and you can get them shaved if the long hair bothers you. We got our first one when our daughter was about 14 months and she chased that dog around. Mind you the dog was already over a year old and raised in a abusive home. But she forgave I guess because she would just sit and lick our daughter. Our daughter would climb all over her and pull her fur and ears and tail and pull her mouth apart and she would just lick her or roll over and let her play on her tummy. Since then we have had 3 more added to the mix and we now have another daughter and they all let her do the same. We also have a blue heeler mix and while she is loving I would not suggest getting one because while reading up I have noticed that they are ankle biters and well she does growl when she doesn't want to be messed with. But out of the 4 australian shepherd we have had...not a single one has EVER tryed to bite or snap or even growl at my girls and the 20 cousins she has....now the cats...wow yeah I wouldn't get one until your kids are older...Cats are cranky and will hiss and scratch and bite for no reason sometimes!!!

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S.C.

answers from Dallas on

I agree with the other moms who said to wait until your children are older. Some cats can be agressive. You can't necessarily tell from one or two visits to the shelter. Cats that have been declawed can bite when defending themselves.

We have two cats that we rescued a few years before our daughter was born. One hides when my daughter is awake (she's 3 now) and the other tolerates my daughter's active personality. But the one that tolerates my daughter has still scratched her a few times in defense. It doesn't matter how much supervision you provide (we're overly protective parents), the child can lunge at the cat within a moment and the scratch can take place before you can intervene. My cousin (who is now 35) had a cat claw get stuck in her lower eye lid when she was a toddler, so I monitor my daughter around the cats at all time and have taught her what is/isn't appropriate behavior.

Good luck with your decision.

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J.M.

answers from Dallas on

Any animal can bite depending on what situation it is put into. I would strongly suggest you give the puppy back to the breeder, it will eventually bite one of your children, and smaller dogs can still leave very bad scars. You cannot watch your children every single second of the day, it's physically impossible. The dog would be perfectly fine in a different household where there are no small children. Some dogs just don't go well with kids. I will say that a cat with a 4 yr old boy who does not understand personal boundaries for pets (which is totally normal for his age!) is a bad idea. Cat bites can be VERY serious - I think that is not a good idea. If you have a personal veterinarian, you should bring this up with your vet, even if you currently have no pets. Vets have no problem scheduling an exam slot (you would pay for the exam only) to discuss what type of pet might be the best for you kids, if any at all. I think you might want to consider waiting until your children are older to get a pet, even if it's just a few years. There are numerous breeds of dogs out there which can be great with kids, but even a golden retriever can bite a child, especially a very active child. -jm

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J.S.

answers from Dallas on

OK....since You obviously have allergies, I would recommend having the ENTIRE family tested for allergies, particulary to pet (of any kind) dander. If ALL of you have allergies, introducing any kind of pet (other than some fish) will just make ALL of you MISERABLE. (Sorry, I hate saying that, but it's true. I love cats, but my eyes go "insanely" itchy and watery when I'm around them too long, so I can't have any more as pets of my own!) :(

2nd recommendation - As for the temperament of a dog, I've always had the best success with golden retrievers/labs and Australian Shepherds. Aussies are bred to be "cow dogs", and they are extremely loving around kids, no matter what the kids do to them, but also VERY protective of those kids. If anyone comes around your kids that shouldn't be, the dog WILL protect them! And, like the other moms have said, you may need to wait a while before you introduce another pet into the household because of your son's behavior with them.

I know this is a very difficult decision to make, but just don't get in a hurry to have a pet. (If you do decide, and you turn out to be the only one with allergies, I have some suggestions that *might* help you. You can email me at ____@____.com and let me know.)

Warmest wishes for you and your family!
~J.~

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J.A.

answers from Amarillo on

Wow, I guess it's a good thing you can't trade your kids in for any imperfections. How about this idea? Stop bringing animals home, just stick with the uncontrolable kids. Sorry if that sounds mean, but it seems like you're changing animals like you change underwear. These innocent animals did not ask to be taken into your home, they can't help if they shed, and they have a natural instinct to protect themselves when they think they're in danger, how can you fault them for that?

This comes from a mother of 2 kids, 3 dogs, 1 bird, and fish.

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A.C.

answers from Dallas on

Enough with the animals! Maybe this is the universe trying to tell you something. I see that you have super high standards, but I'm feeling very sorry for the animals involved. Obviously, you're not animal people. I highly recommend a Beta fish.

A

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P.

answers from Dallas on

I am a true believer in a FOREVER HOME FOR PETS. You, sadly, have disrespected several animals in your selfish search for the "perfect pet". I suggest you stick to stuffed animals until you learn the true meaning of pet ownership. People like you are the reason Mutts and Moms have behaved so atrociously with Ellen Degeneres.

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D.H.

answers from Dallas on

Have you considered having some professional training. We took our Wheaten Terrier to Mans Best Friend. They are expensive but it is well worth the money. They can work on any problems you are having with your puppy. We used the one in Grand Prarie. Good Luck!!

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B.W.

answers from Dallas on

I do rescue.......none of the groups I work with will adopt with young children for all the reasons you list. Although your daughter fell on the puppy accidentally she still could have injured the dog. I also am wondering why you did not return the first dog to the humane society, if that is where you got him, as every adoption contract I have seen involving rescue requires you to return the animal if you decide you no longer want it. As to an older dog.......you have no way of knowing what they have been through...I only take in seniors/special needs fosters and some have aggressions......perhaps if you take a class on training kids to be around dogs/cats and the furchildren on how to be around the human children it would help. I agree with others that with your allergies, a cat would not be a good option...mostly I think you need to wait as you are really not being fair to the animals involved..........btw, I love the story about Tate :-)

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