Doesn't like to Take Showers!

Updated on January 15, 2007
M.L. asks from Las Vegas, NV
13 answers

Here it is my 11 year old doesn't like showers, we dont have a bathtub just a shower here in our home. So when I tell her to take one everyday she fights me on it. It's like an arguement to get her in that shower.She is beautiful but her hygene is bothering me.
Plan and simple I need to find a way for her to want to take showers more often. If she knew she would be upset with me but i really need advice on this matter. Anyone who can give some words of wisdom is appreciated.

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A.M.

answers from Sacramento on

Hi M.

I am having the same problem but my son is 16. what I do with my son is get him to take a shower everyother day, he needs some reminding right now but since we have started this plan it seems to be working so try not to get to upset with her and say ok if you don't want one every day take one every other day its ok if she doesn't take one every day. and if that doesn't work say to her that she can't hang out with her friends until she takes a shower, that one really works with my son, cause if they really want to go out and hang out with friends they will do it. well good luck on this hope this helps.

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M.A.

answers from San Diego on

I think Anna's suggestion is right on! And if that doesn't work, maybe a peer will say something at school and that should change her mind really quick! I'm sure you know, at this age and for the next few years, they are all little followers. who knows, maybe it's cool right now not to take showers LOL. you never know!

2 moms found this helpful
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A.H.

answers from Phoenix on

I think you should take her to the store and let her pick out nice shower stuff for teens. like razers and cream. body wash and one of those fluffy balls. Maybe get her a shower radio. I loved haveing lots of choices of body wash to wash with. let her pick out scents. teach her how to shave and don't force this kinda stuff because she will just rebel. she probably does'nt want to bath becuase she's afraid she'll miss somthing while she'd in there. you know like when a baby does'nt want to nap because they are afraid of missing somthing or when it's hard to potty train an out side type kid becuase they don't wanna come in to go pee they wet themselves. make it fun not a chore. I know they have cheap stuff for the shower at the $1 store or maybe at wal mart or target. I know it gets expensive but think of it this way. if you could spend $40 for your daughter to have good hygene then why not when if you don't she could possibly get an infection and have to go to the doctors whitch always costs more and then you gotta get perscriptions and then make her take them whitch she probably wont. so take my advice and spend the money on fun stuff and hey if things don't work out, you just got new shower stuff for you.

1 mom found this helpful
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J.O.

answers from Portland on

Take her to bath and body works, they have a book their for preteen girls all about hygiene. You can also let her pick out her favorite body wash and maybe then she will feel more like taking showers. You might also try a shower every other day. That might be less consuming. I also have lots of one on one talks bringing up examples of why "I" have to do certain things to stay clean. She may just be avoiding it because she doesn't like the changes going on in her own body.? Hope this helps.

1 mom found this helpful
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S.D.

answers from Las Vegas on

Hmm thats weird... well maybe get her interested by buying her some really girly and good smelly body wash and lotion sets? Im no help probably good luck!

1 mom found this helpful
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M.G.

answers from Medford on

Hi, I have an 10 year old who doesn't like to take them either. I never thought with a girl I would have that problem. Over Christmas she got a bunch of different bath sets with her favorite color. (purple and a Purple sponge) Now she will take one at least every other day and it's not a big fight. So maybe get her some bath sets in her favorite colors and maybe a shower radio if shes into music. Hope this helps! M.

A little aout me: I have been married for 11 years and have one ten year old daughter. I work part time as a cregiver and full time home schooler. I also attend Anthem College Online.

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B.D.

answers from Portland on

This is a pretty serious issue as our kids reach puberty age. I suggest talking with her about hygene and how important it is now to form the good habits before she starts her cycle. Once her cycle starts keeping clean will be imparative to avoid infections.I have always found that little girls look forward to womanhood. Talking to her about growing up and becoming more mature may be the solution for you. If she feels that she is being more "adult" or preparing for adulthood she may respond better just because of the small ego boost. I understand that we don't want to think about this too early but I started a age 11 so I try to let other moms know that it may need to be talked about sooner than we want. Hope this helps B.

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K.O.

answers from Portland on

LOL. I had to laugh because all of my teenagers went through some kind of 'dirty' stage. I just made sure they understood that there were absolutely no rewards if they are not clean.

Our family expectations: RESPONSIBILITY, RESPECT, AND HYGIENE!!!!!!!!! Ha Ha. No joke. I make sure they know that is what I expect. I don't care if they wash themselves with the hose and a bar of soap, they will just make sure they are washed.

Good luck though and happy parenting! :)

1 mom found this helpful
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L.M.

answers from Seattle on

M....Wow I know the feeling...My son is 11 and we have the big fight over showers many of the days. I worry that he will smell adn the kids at school will say something to him. Big fear cause I think we all remember the kid that did not have good hygine in school and we do not want that for our kid. I asked my son what has helped here is his answer" I liked the body wash and different stuff you got me" He also liked the reward system that we have...Each sunday we have a movie date, bowling or whatever he chooses with our budget if he showers everyday...good luck I know how frustrating and worried it can make a Mom!!

1 mom found this helpful
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M.J.

answers from Los Angeles on

It's a phase.

I did the same thing. Anything to rebel but mostly...I hated water. I would even go as far as to turn on the water, wet my hair in the sink, fluff myself with powder and act as if I showered.

Hmmmm, what would have helped me? Stubborn, hormonal, rebellious teen????

She is still young enough to obey despite the fact that she puts up a good fight. Sit her down and tell her...We take showers in this family. We have good hygiene. No daughter of mine will be the stinky girl in class. Those are the rules. I won't nag you to shower daily. I won't even mention it to you if you be sure to do it on your own. You're old enough to (List things she can do...sleep overs, computer time, sports, etc) Along with being mature enough for certain things come responsibility. Taking a shower daily is not up for debate. If you refuse to shower, you are refusing other mature things like (re list things she is allowed to do) and you will be treated like a child. Then ask her if her getting to pick out her very own bath set is something she would like to do. Or maybe take her to the bath towel section of a store and have the talk there or if you know her taste, have a gift basket ready for her with the towel set in it.

Anyway, If my mom had taken time like that to lay down the rules and do something special for me, I may not have rebelled so much. She may still throw a fit but just keep putting the love out there. Some of it gets in.

It's worth a shot.

1 mom found this helpful
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K.O.

answers from Portland on

My girlfriend has the same problem with her daughter. She finally figured out that she hates having water in her eyes, so she bought her a pair of goggles. :) Not sure if this would help your daughter, just a suggestion.

1 mom found this helpful
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T.M.

answers from Seattle on

Oh my goodness sounds like my youngest ..She will be 11 next month..I also have a 15 & 17 yr.olds. Boy she is starting to get the hang of it now.. but after school she would get in the car and you could get a wiff of the underarms...I took her to the dollar store..on the way we had a talk about GROWING UP and what that means.and what happens...well at the store I helped her to pick out several things like - deoderant,shower gel,bodywash,lotion, her own shampoo/conditioner. they also had those wash poofs and wash cloths that are compressed into shapes. and also her own caddy for her things..After that she has wanted to take a shower..She doesn't want to be at school and play and be smelly..kids can be mean to other kids..help her the best you can by talking to her and letting her know that Everyone goes through growing up at different times and it is natural and normal...Now she can't go a day without her routine..good luck oh also you can go to beinggirl.com with her and get her an account..check it out

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S.B.

answers from Sacramento on

I hated taking showers when I was that age. Mostly it as because no one taught me how to do it! My parents just kind of ignored me in certain respects. What helped was having a friend's mom kindly explain some thing to me - tilting the head back while washing out the shampo keeps it out of your eyes, and drying off in the shower afterwards keeps you warmer. Try and find out what is bothering her about the shower and then help fix the problems. Maybe the water is hard to get to the right temp., or maybe she needs the right soaps and shampos. Her skin might be sensitive like mine is and she might itch afterwards. Lotions will help that. Whatever it is, see if you can make it easier for her. good luck!

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