My 2.5 year old understands the concept of timeout. He cries when I put him on a chair and ask him to stay there whenever he behaves bad. But then, he also is at an age where he repeats what we do/ tries to imitate us. So sometimes he says timeout to us (it's like a game to him , and he uses a stern voice like i do) and I am not sure what to do at that point. If I don't stay where I am (he said timeout today while I was coming down the stairs ... time out M., stay back right there) maybe he will think it's ok for him to not stay in his chair during timeouts as well? I told him only M. gives timeout etc etc but he still doesn't understand everything I tell him:) Just curious to know if your kids did this and how did you react?
I agree with one mom who said maybe I am giving timeouts too often. I only give it when he does something he shouldn't which is not safe for him but it's happening often these days. For ex: he jumps on the stairs and I put him on timeout. My intention is he doesn't do it again because he can fall n hurt himself. But if he does it again , he gets another time out. I also give him timeouts if he throws food on the floor when he is throwing a tantrum for food not given to him exactly the way he asked for it. And this is happening very often these days as well, so he gets timeouts multiple times for the same reasons too. Maybe I need to come up with something else and reserve timeouts as a last resort. I do ignore him mostly instead of reacting to every tantrum , but even then I guess he is getting many timeouts. Atleast 1 timeout a day or every other day.
When my daughter got older she said she was going to ground M. to my room! I said "you promise"? =) She didn't see the humor in that one! Grounded to my room with books, tv, no kids? Yeah, SIGN M. UP!!!
Oh, heavens, yes. Not as much as your son is doing it, but I think lots of kids do this at some point. He's acting perfectly logically to him: Mom wants M. to stay put and gives M. time out. I want mom to stay put so I'll give her time out. He has learned what time out means, for sure!
Now he will learn (over time, be patient with him) that time out only goes in one direction: From you to him. I think all you can do is really say "Only M. or daddy gives a time out and only boys and girls get them."
But I do wonder if maybe he's getting too many of them? If you're not saving them for pretty serious things, start doing so. If he's getting time out "whenever he behaves bad" and that means for many smaller things -- try redirecting him more often or other forms of discipline such as taking away a toy. A time out should have impact and get the child's attention, and it won't if it's done too often. He may now be seeing it as a game, or conversely he may be cross about the time outs and trying to discipline you just as you discipline him. So be sure to use them sparingly enough that they mean something. And be sure they're age-appropriate -- one minute i time out for each year of the child's age, that's all. Just something to think about!
Maybe you should start asking him what your time out is for. You can start a dialogue with him about how M. is making good choices coming down the stairs right now (so I can go to the kitchen to make dinner, or finish the laundry, or go outside with you, whatever the case is), time out is for when you make poor choices...etc, etc. I would make sure though that if you do do something like raise your voice or something else that is a "no-no" you apologize to him so that he understands that although you don't maybe go to time out, you do have to take responsibility for your actions. Good luck! This is in between adorable and frustrating!! :)
My granddaughter did that. I'd chuckle and say something like what have I done to get a time out. I'd stand still while I asked her. She'd usually giggle and it was over with. I would stand still because I wanted her to know that a time out does mean staying in one place.
In other words I made light of it. She was just working on figuring out more about time outs.
I have put myself in time outs when I'd catch myself becoming too upset. I'd say, whoops, I'm taking a time out and will get back to you once I've calmed down. Then I'd leave the room or sit down nearby.
The purpose of a time out is to stop the action and to give ourselves and our children time to adjust our attitude. That is why we tell them to think about what they did wrong. I follow a time out with an explanation and a hug.
LOL @ Sarah, yes, please give M. a time out! My 3 year old covers my mouth and says "shhhh" when he knows he's done something wrong and I'm about to say something about it. I sometimes take it seriously and start counting before I yell. Sometimes I just smile and laugh, it does help to dissipate the anger and I can tell him in a more calm voice why it's wrong.
Next time he tries to give you a time out ask him why. Ask him to explain to you, like you should be explaining to him, why you need a time out. I think he'll catch on that time outs are for naughty behavior and not just for fun.
I put myself in timeouts which dont work because then my kids start bawling and crying poking their fingers under the door (well that has changed to banging on the door as they've gotten older) then Im like fine im out of time out and they cling to M. like crazy. They are 7 and 5 and still freak if I go to time out. I said would you rather M. go to time out or you and they both agreed it was best if they were the ones to go to time out. Funny little monkeys
We used to use "rewind" when my daughter did something wrong instead of constant timeouts. That gave her a chance to correct it. So if she jumped down the stairs I would say "rewind, let's go back and do it correctly."
I agree, just ask him "What's my timeout for?" keep it light. If he can't give an answer, reinforce that you would get a timeout for doing something wrong, and you weren't doing anything right.
It might demonstrate that he hasn't figured out really what timeouts mean. So by talking it out when he gives you one, you're helping him to understand right versus wrong.
No, our son never did that.
But sometimes when my nerves were getting frazzled I'd announce I needed a time out.
Then I'd go lay down for a bit, and if he could be quiet, he could come with M. (and he ALWAYS would come with M.).
We'd end up taking a nap together and both feel better when we woke up.
Both my kids have done that when Toddlers.
I was actually proud of them (I kept that opinion to myself).
It just showed M., that they are learning and know right/wrong, and situations.
It made M. chuckle.
No mine doesn't but I would love to have a time out. LOL.....
