Let me start by saying I *love* having my husband home for longer than a weekend. He plays with the girls, helps arund the house and lets me sleep in if we don't have anywhere to go. BUT he totally throws off our schedule! I'm home with 3 little girls (4.5 yrs, 3 yrs and 5 mths) and have a pretty workable routine going....the girls know what to expect and I have no trouble getting them to do what we need to do. But when Daddy's home all bets are off. I'll say "ok, it's time for lunch" and he'll say "ok, we're just going to finish watching this movie". Movie? I don't let the girls watch movies during the day, plus if they eat lunch too late then they're not hungry for dinner. That's just one example.
Now, I *know* this isn't a big deal...and I'm not asking for advice on how to 'fix' it - I know things could be much worse. I'm just asking if YOUR husband mucks with your routine when he's home?
Absolutely!
~My husband is the king of this! I have to try and remind myself that he has his 'way' and I have my 'way' and they are both the 'right way'....but don't even get me started on what happens when he tries to dress the kids :)
Absolutely but that is what weekends are for.. If you have such a strict routine 24/7 and never break from it, you have kids that cannot function if
there is a change in the routine. Kids like routines but also like to have a
break from it.
Nothing to fix, just go with it. Dad needs his comfortable time with the kids too. You are blessed to have an intact family. Kids love their daddies, gotta make those memories while you can.
YES...I think it is mostly a universal problem. I love getting help from him in getting our daughter ready in the morning but she is more cooperative when he isn't home (unfortunately it leaves me with more to do). An example I have is when we go to Chick Fil A for lunch (not often). He lets her start playing while I am ordering the food. Then getting her out of the play area to eat is hard. I went alone the other day and she sat with me until she was done eating and then played. When we told him, he couldn't believe it. Kids pick up on expectations and dad's is different from mom's.
Yup.
In all fairness, however, having ANYONE else at home throws off my routine.
Yep! It's annoying, but workable. My boys are so happy their dad is home and he is excited to play with them, watch movies, and play Wii. I just remember that we parent differently and it's important for kids to have a relationship with their father. Then, I try and tell him that he is messing with the grove I got going. He tries to respect that, but sometimes that damn TV just screams his name!
L.
Yes. Even just talking to him when I would otherwise do something else.
My husband taught me the meaning of go with the flow! :)
I don't realize it, but when my husband is gone for his week business trips, I always do an insane amount of baking and cleaning and organizing. I think it's b/c we just get into a funk and hang out, so when he's gone I get all that done. Weird.
Yes! If I'm being honest, my "job" is easier if he's not home at all. Of course, I'd rather he be home, but yes. Life runs just a bit more smoothly when he's not around. :)
no routine exists when Dad is home! Cleaning hardly gets done, so I do everything Friday before he gets home, all meals are kind of whenever, and sometimes get skipped because we are out on the weekends. (Little one wont eat unless she's in her own high chair, no picnics or restaraunts, tho we try!) I look forward to Mondays, because everything gets done when it should and in my usual order.
Ooooooohhhh yeeeeah. Gotta love 'em!
YES! and I have a 10 week old! I have found though that my son is WAY less fussy when he knows what is usually coming next. Now, he normally goes to daycare and is with me most of the day on my off days (me and his dad have different work schedules). But, this past weekend, the daycare lady took the Easter holiday and he has had to spend the whole weekend with his dad. I came home to a completely different baby yesterday cause he was so thrown off. His dad wants to do things differently. I left specific instructions of how his day routine normally goes, and dad still just basically did what he wanted too. When his dad is home with us on my off days, he just behaves differently. It's crazy to me how much he's a routine baby even at such a young age and even little changes can make him fussier. I guess he is a lot like his mama lol I guess though since the baby was safe and fed yesterday when I got home that I'll just have to start trusting dad to do it his way, even if it throws him off a little bit.
Yep! sometimes I cant stand it when my husband is home. My girls get all out of whack! but at the same time it is so good for them to have time with their Papa :)
Totally. But the kids love it so I just go with it. But, yeah, I *totally* get where you're coming from.
HAHAHAHA! I totally agree, and I have only one child in our routine to work with. I agree with the mom who said, in fairness, that having anyone around wrecks the routine (Grandma is the one who taught our son what a movie is). But it's all worth it for how much fun we have. Sometimes I'm a little jealous that I can't always be the "fun parent." Instead of focusing on that, I just try to roll with it and enjoy the play time as well. I make sure we can all have free time when Daddy's home by doing the laundry, cleaning and shopping, all mid-week, so we don't have chores on the weekend (except the occasional yard work, which my son loves anyway). My only complaint is that because my husband is all "go, go, go" too often my sons eating routine gets totally out of whack and he ends up constipated (he's very skinny, so the smallest changes have a big impact). But interestingly enough, my husband just asked me this weekend, after an extra day off of work, if I thought we should be offering our son more water throughout the day. And I said, "don't take this the wrong way, but... we're just a little out of our routine on the weekend and we do need to do a better job of remembering to offer snacks and drinks, even while we're on the run." My dear husband thought for a minute and said, "so I'm wrecking things, huh?" Not defensively, or anything, just a thoughtful response. I do love that man.
Yes! But after years of being annoyed by it, I have just learned to be more laid back about how things go on the weekends. If I try to get him to "comply" with our weekday schedule, he feels like I am treating him like a subordinate and the resulting conflict is just not worth it.
Yes!! My husband travels frequently, and if he's gone for more than five days, I find the household runs much more smoothly. Less than that and everything gets disrupted for a week or more. I used to wait to plan family activities, now I just make plans without him and he can join in or not. It isn't ideal, but it works for now.
I understand exactly what you are talking about. My husband throws everything off. I have an in home daycare so our routine is very strict. On the days that we don't have daycare though we still eat at the same time and do naps and bedtime at the same time. It is SOOOO much easier to put my three boys in bed when he is not here. They want to watch a movie with dad and he doesn't even pause it so that I can do my regular routine with the kids. They don't fight me at all on the nights that he works late. I so know what you are going through and feel your frustration!
Oh, until I got a bit more assertive, yes, my husband had me feeling crazy on the weekends. He's less organized with time than I am, which is good for his work because his job as an IT guy requires him to be flexible.
On the other hand, Kiddo and I are less flexible. We need to eat on a certain time frame. This was our biggest hurdle to overcome as a couple on weekends, because my guy is a 'food camel' and could eat whenever, wherever, and do for hours without it. We've learned to talk about our weekend in advance, what we need to do and would like to do, and then make a loose plan for each day. I think it's easier in our house, too, with just one child, because there's less room for multiple communications about what's happening. And we are pretty much on the same page as far as discipline/media/treats. I've just learned that when I hear they've been watching an hour of trucks and cranes on the computer, to tell myself "Yep, that's so I could sleep in!" and not be too disappointed about it.
Nope. My husband works from home so he is part of the routine. It seems more strange when he travels for business and is not around:0)
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA.
Yes. ;-) I always compare Dad At Home to handing the kids (4 & 2) a pile of chocolate and asking them to behave normally. Impossible! Heh.
Glad I'm not the only one!!!! Sometimes, it's a actually EASIER when he is out of town. We can set our own dinner and bedtime schedule. Hehe.
Hang in there!!
Oh ... anyone home throws it off, we live with Gma, Gpa, Uncle, Dad & Mom and if anyone is home with him but me it is ALL out the window. My son goes LOOKING for Gma in the mornings before he comes to find me! The whole day is just shot for me.
Yeah leave everything to be cleaned after he goes back to work! Dont try to be wonder woman cause you,ll go completely nuts! I love it when I get back to the routine of things but then Im ready for the storm when it comes around again.
Yep.
They do throw off your groove/schedule/routine/finely tuned routine... of which you spent HOURS getting to be, so finely tuned... with your kids. Every darn day.
Yep.
They do this.
Schedules were thrown off last week and it about drove me nuts! Little background, husband works from home and works the 10-7pm shift. Daugther is in kindergarten, our son is three. Each morning Sis and I have a routine, getting showers, all the fuss, eating breakfast, packing lunches...etc.
Last week husband made a dentist app for Sis at 7 am (the boys never get up until just before it's time to take Sis to school)...he had the whole house up at 5:30...griping about this and that...and was just plain in the way! And guess what...they were late! But, I had things under control until he barged right in thinking I needed help.
I'm sure though that I muck up his routine when I come home early for work some days and/or work from home on the rare occassion...good luck to us all!
"Muck" it up, is putting it politely.When he's on swing, we have a routine. That routine does not include sugar and wrestling @ 8 p.m. right before the kids go to bed.
When he's home, he gives them sugary treats and loves to have ice cream late in the evening right before bed, or popsicles, or candy, or whatever. Then he'll start wresting with them RIGHT before bed.
I started out making friendly remarks. When it still did not stop, I got reference material and read it to him that it is not just my rule, it's a known fact not to do these things at bed time. I finally laid down the rule. He likes to be in bed between 9 and 9:30, so I told him, "You wire and rile them up before bed time, they sleep with YOU". He's finally got the message.
Totally. It gets easier when they get a little older, but yep, still drives me crazy sometimes. I just have to let go a little and run with it and realize that he has things he wants to do with them too. I'm thankful for him of course, but yes, it's a challenge to keep my mouth shut sometimes. ;)
