Does This Deserve Punishment?

She is trying to get her needs met and is going about getting it in all the wrong ways. You need to teach her the right way.

Don't know if this will work but what about dad going to her and engaging her and her sister at the same time. Like running up to her, big hug, pick her up, where is sissy? Then make bringing her little sister in to the ritual....go from there.

She just needs to learn she can be part of the group and still get attention.

Just keep working at it. Keep letting her know she's too loud. And maybe daddy can say - "ouch, that's so loud - I can't talk with you till you're quieter, sweetie." It'll teach her some give and take, and that what she's doing affects others.

This reminds me of when a friend of mine's son said "No talk, Mommy! No talk!" when she had company. He could not stand to share her.

What she did was ignore him. Totally. She would continue to talk to me as if he wasn't even there. (Of course, that was after she had told him ONCE that he needed to stop interrupting her.)

It is a phase and is pretty normal. What will help the phase pass, in my opinion, is to ignore her when she tries to get in between you and your husband. First, though, I would change up and have your husband spend about 10 minutes with her before he sits down with you. If she hits, you DO need to put her in her room. Grab her by her hands and hold them tight. Tell her "We do not hit. You have to spend some time in your room and think about NOT HITTING." Be 100% consistent. You cannot let her hit.

Good luck!
Dawn

She doesn't understand that she is not the center of the universe. It is completely developmental and will change when she gets older. She is also excited when her daddy comes home - she has so so much to tell him and she CANNOT wait. In the meantime - work on taking turns. So - you get to talk, she gets to talk, daddy gets to talk. My son's Montessori taught them to put a hand on the teacher's shoulder if she was busy but they needed something. Then the teacher knew they were next. I would personally limit your phone calls to when she is napping or to short conversations. It is unreasonable to expect her to wait quietly while you talk on the phone for 30 minutes.

ETA: I did not imply that the poster makes her child wait 30 minutes. It was an example of what might be unreasonable at this age. I do not think more than 5 minutes would be a reasonable expectation for a 2 year old to wait while an adult (without any reasonable warning that they were going to stop playtime) suddenly is occupied by the telephone. If phone calls can be scheduled - it will make life (yours and hers) easier to schedule them during nap time or when her dad is home.

My son was (still is) strongly attached to me.
He liked Daddy, but nothing/no one else compared to the Mommy Goddess.
So one day my husband is giving me a hug and our son (he was 3 at the time) runs up, squeezes between us and pushes Daddy away from me as hard as he can and says
"MY Mommy! Get your own Mommy!".
Such anger!
Such jealousy!
It was startling (and a little flattering I must admit).
How can you punish for such a big / protective feeling?
Well, we made a point of him and Daddy doing 'guy stuff' together - looking at fire trucks, got him his own tool belt (Daddy's little helper), we have great pictures of him helping to assemble his tricycle and wagon with Daddy.
They became best buddies.
It's really a very typical phase and they all seem to go through something similar.
I had to tell him often 'grown ups are talking now - you need to wait your turn to talk' when he wanted to try to grab attention.
You have to tell her pushing and hitting is a no no but you will let her talk soon if she will wait her turn (try not to make her wait too long).
Sometimes I missed the pre-talking days so much!

Very normal behavior.

I'm glad you recognize that you need to work on changing it though. She does need to learn that when Mom and Dad (or any adults, but ESPECIALLY Mom and Dad) are talking, that interrupting is rude and disrespectful. Again, it is perfectly normal for her to do this, but you don't want her to learn that it is acceptable, because it is not. If you allow it, it can be the start of bigger issues down the road. How many marriages have rough spots because the parents are catering to the kids all. the. time. and have no "me" time or "us" time? Lots. Most people figure out that is the problem, but by then their kids are accustomed to it, and it is a hard pill for them to swallow that it has to change. Good for you for wanting to nip it now, and let them learn their place within the family--which ISN'T the center. The marriage should be the primary center--that is where the kids came from after all, and the place that their security and provision and the love they need and learn comes from. (sorry if that offends anybody--I know not everyone agrees that the kids are not THE most important thing. If your marriage is a good one, and not dysfunctional, then it should be the main thing, and the kids fall right into place within that framework).

Yes, just like with the other question a mom asked: "This is just a phase, right", send her to her room. Don't make time out in the living room with a willful child like this, she needs to be excluded.

Yes she needs to learn private space,talk in an inside vocie not over everyone else,interuption,it is very difficult for kids to do but has to be taught now or else it'll only get worse.When she does this tell her this is your warning to calm down,then happens again walk her to her room or another area preferable w/ no toys present or TV on it is a time to refelct on behavior not playtime.Then after her time out or call it quiet space talk to her directly about her behavior

I wouldn't send her to her room simply because #1 - it is supposed to be a happy place for bedtime and you don't want any negative associations at this age and #2 - it probably has at least a few fun toys in there. I would find another suitable place that would be unpleasant - perhaps a chair in the kitchen or sitting on the bottom step of the stairs? You need to follow through every time she disobeys. I don't agree with others on here that say to let her talk as loud as she wants and give her say over when she talks. You are correct that she needs to learn respect and waiting her turn. And she is capable at her age. And by correcting her now, she'll be much more pleasant for others to be around as she gets older. (I've been around kids raised to "be themselves" and express themselves whenever/however and it is not pleasant.) Keep up the good work, Mommy. :)

The real crux of this issue is interrupting and not waiting her turn. Something 2 year olds are not good at!
Sit down with her in a calm moment and explain what the expected behavior is. I wouldn't send her straight to her room right away. Give a reminder of appropriate behavior then a warning, then her room if she is really being obstinate. A reward system might also be appropriate depending on your daughter. Whatever you choose be consistent.
This is a skill that has to be taught and she won't learn if you just ship her off to her room at the first sign of trouble.

I don't think it needs a "punishment," I think you need to keep working with her learning about not interrupting and appropriate voice levels,
Good luck!

I don't think that at two years of age, a kid knows jealousy.. At the age, it's PURE love they are expressing... you see it as jealousy, she sees it as someone she loves very much coming home... you can't knock that..
I don't agree with this "inside voice" business... We have friends who do that and it always sounded weird to me that a person can't be who they are.. (try living with a bunch of Italians and telling them to use their inside voices :):) HA!!
Maybe BEFORE you and your husband begin chatting, why not let your daughter speak to him .. Can't you and your husband talk later ? is it really that big of deal. When she is a bit older, then you can begin to suggest different ways of doing things.. but at this stage... she is simply being a kid.... you could also find new ways of managing it.. How about this.. say, I am going to make a call but before I do, do you want to talk me? maybe make it into a game somehow.. I do believe that kids need manners for sure. yet, at the same time, I think it's important to work within THEIR means of understanding... So often, our approach to little kids is that of an adult... that just doesn't work..

good luck in whatever you decide..

She's two. Those are all normal developmentally appropriate behaviors. So no, no punishment. She's simply excited to see your husband and have the whole family back together. Continue to calmly tell her to lower her voice, and also make sure you're giving her a chance to talk too. It's really hard to be two years old, excited, and expected to wait while the grownups talk.

Sigh.....my four year old still does this. He seems to HATE if my husband and I are trying to talk and it's not to him. Its a work in progress. Her being two makes it harder. When he was this age we would tell him one time to please wait, we want ot talk to him too in a minute. Be patient. It usually didn't work :)
SO then as hard as it was, and it is HARD, Ignore her until you are done talking. he's getting a reaction so shes getting what she wants.
We at times did time outs for him, in extreme cases. They are such attention mongers these early years! ANd believe my kids get PLENTY and its still never enough!

I would tell her about 5 min before daddy gets home that you are going to talk to him for a few min. You need her to be quiet during that time-she has a choice of doing_________or _____________. Which one will she choose?? If she chooses not to follow mommy's rules,she will go to the corner for 2 min.

I have always told my kids what would happen next so they can expect it---otherwise it is way to exciting and to hard to control when in her mind, life is all about her. She should be praised for keeping quiet or busy with something while you and hubby talk. Do the same thing for the phone call.

Or you can enlist her to help you--say her name and tell her you will be on the phone for 5 min. You need her to play with her dolls/whatever until you are done. When you are done with the phone and if she is quiet-- you will reward her by reading her fav. book. Give an incentive to be quiet and she will. Good luck!

I ask my daughter, who is now almost 4 and has gotten much better, to wait her turn or at least say excuse me and then wait to be acknowledged. If she can't wait, then I make my daughter leave the room. It took a few times of her having to leave the room for her to get it. I can't tell you the last time we had an incident of her completely out of control. We still need to remind her to wait her turn, and occassionally she has to be removed from the situation, but it's so rare. However, when it is her turn, make sure she has your total attention. My shower used to be my santuary, but now that my boys are here, my daughter and I use that time to talk. She sits on the toilet and tells me about her day. It's nice that she has that time just to herself.

I think I would send her to her room if she's interrupting when you and daddy are trying to talk. Let her know you'd love to have her in the room with you, but she must learn and use her manners in order to be allowed to stay. I bet one or two days of missing this time will get that under control.

As for the phone call times, my daughter used to do the SAME thing. She could have absolutely NOTHING to say to me until I got on the phone. Then immediately, she has to talk to me about anything, everything, and nothing. It got to the point where when the phone rang, she had to sit down and be quiet until I was off the phone. Fortunately for her I'm not a big phone talker so it was usually very quick. If I was going to be on for a while, I would let her get up, etc., but if she stood in front of me constantly bugging, then it was back to sitting quietly.

This is normal behavior for a 2 year old but it is unacceptable and the sooner you teach her to stop the happier you'll all be. Tell her that if she doesn't behave, you'll send her to her room and then follow through with your threat. It's as simple as that. Once she starts acting up, get up off the couch and walk her to her room. Tell her you'll come get her when you're done talking with daddy. It's not going to hurt her to sit in her room for ten minutes while you and hubby chat. She is not the ruler of the roost, you are! Good luck!

I think she is being a normal 2 year old, she's revved up because Daddu is home, and I don't think punishment is the right term, or should necessarily be employed for the loud voice. "Discipline" would be more what you and her need, which is defined more as teaching - in this case, more appropriate behavior. Decide what behaviors are absolute no-nos (i.e. hitting, pushing, screaming) and place in her time-out for 2 minutes whenever they occur - be consistent, don't lecture or yell, just tell her this is what happens when she decides to hit, etc. If necessary, pick a different spot for time-outs that's less interesting than the living room. In our house, the bottom of the stairs, or on the floor just outside the bathroom were favorites because they are boring and there's absolutely nothing there to get DD's attention. If her loud voice is just from being excited (rather than screaming defiantly at you), if she didn't listen the first time you told her to quiet down, I would gently take her aside, remain calm, get down on her level so you have direct eye contact in her face, hold her arm or hand to keep her attention focused on you, and calmly but firmly remind her that she needs to use her indoor voice. Then have her talk to you in an "indoor voice" so she understands what you mean. But realize that she is only 2, and it's going to take her a long time to "get it." At this age, until about 5 or so, they are very ego-centric and they really have no concept that other people have feelings too. That doesn't mean they can't be taught and disciplined, just that you need to keep your expectations realistic. I would also consider if Daddy is adding to the "problem" by getting her worked up when he comes home as well - tickling, wrestling, that sort of thing.

You know, I don't have the daddy problem, because I am a single mom... but my daughter will be 3 in February, and she does the same thing to me. I can't get through one conversation with another adult without her screaming, interrupting, and doing whatever she has to to get my attention back on her. If you figure it out, PLEASE let me know LOL

My kids do this too, they are playing happily until I need to make a phone call, use the bathroom, whatever, then they want my attention, NOW!

I wouldn't punish her per say, but I would remind her that she needs to wait for her turn to talk. When her dad gets home, make sure she gets a few minutes with him, then when you sit down to talk to him, remind her that it is time for mommy and daddy to talk for a minute. You could offer a reward of some special time with dad if she can give you two or three minutes without trying to get your attention.

She is just two, it will take lots of patience and plenty of reminders from you, but if you are consistent she will eventually learn that she has to wait her turn.

My kids do this too. During phone calls I try to have something engaging for them to do quietly while I am on the phone (video, game, snack,etc.). I also tell them I am going to be on the phone, so please be quiet for mom. At age 2, that can be hard to comprehend and it just takes time to teach your expectations.
When Dad comes home, they are like puppies-all excitable, running around and laughing or hooping and hollering. My kids are 3.5 and 5, so we do ask them to go to their rooms if they are so disruptive we can't have a conversation together. We don't treat it as a timeout or punishment unless they completely disobey the request.
Other things we have done is taking turns in the conversation. That seems to help our kids. We just go around the table and let each person talk for a few minutes and then move onto the next person. This w ay the kids feel like they get to be part of the conversation and know there turn is coming up, so it helps them to stop blurting out. Good luck! It's a process that just takes time I think!
A.