Does My 12 Yr Old Son Have SPD?

Updated on May 18, 2011
C.H. asks from Atlanta, GA
9 answers

My 12 yr old son is the sweetest little guy, but it seems like he is on the age level of about 8. He has been diagnosed ADD and is on meds. It has been helping, but seems like he is getting worse. He has some (what I refer to as OCD tendencies): Has to wear his pants super tight, the tighter around his waist the better. Socks, if he can feel the seams he can’t stand that, we have went though several different types of socks. He is very sensitive to sound- When he is in a bad mood/upset he can't stand things like the radio and his older brother has a drumming problem and that drives Little Man bonkers! He has a very hard time getting ready in the morning and at bed time, even with consistent reminders. At night time, he most often tells me good night 3 times with hugs and sugars. He is a really good eater and overall a great kid! It doesn't take much at all to set him off, where he'll break down either in frustration or tears. A lot of times he feels like the whole world is out against him. He has said several times that nobody likes him, we remind him constantly how much he is loved and that everyone does like him. At school he is on an IEP and does spend some time in the Special Class. This makes him feel like he is short bus special. He also wears glasses and the kids tease him sometimes saying "four eyes".
I have felt like maybe I’ve babied him too much as he has been growing up, but I’ve only done what I felt needed to be done. I used to get so frustrated with the focus thing, but then I learned that it’s just Little Man and regardless if I have to remind him 20 times to put on his socks, we will eventually get it done. Thank you!

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So What Happened?

I already have a call in to our pediatrician and to the IEP teacher; the school has an OT on staff or one that comes in a few times a month. Husband and I have seen an increase in things that bother or affect Little Man and I started researching it and....I just want to help him! I love Little Man and only want the best for him! We'll get through this together and learn some coping tools. Thank you for all the advice!

Featured Answers

A.M.

answers from Kansas City on

I bought the book Sensational Kids by Dr. Lucy Jane Miller. My daughter was not diagnosed with SPD but I swear up and down she has a form of it. I read this book, like a thousand times. It has done wonders for us. But Valerie is correct to get a diagnosis you have to see a psychologist.

My daughter would not wear sweaters...she screamed that it was stabbing her in the sides. Loud noises can set her off...but reading the book and doing some of the things it says has been so helpful.

Daughter can now wear sweaters (grant it we use a t-shirt or tank top underneath), noises she can deal with them better. she plays sports and has a active social life.

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K.B.

answers from Denver on

My advice to you would to address your concerns with your developmental pediatrician, hopefully that person is knowledgeable in SPD. Don't assume that all are or that all occupational therapists are either. I don't always agree with what doctors or psychologist will tell me about my child because they are not the ones that live with my child. Most will just see my child for a few minutes/hours and they don't see her in her own environment the way she REALLY acts. Go with your gut, you are your best advocate for your child. There are yahoo groups out there where you can ask more specific questions about SPD if you want to learn more. It's called sensory integration dysfunction - just do a search in the yahoo groups.
As a mother of a child with SPD and ASD, I have learned recently something that I should have already known but you learn something new every day. I couldn't figure out why my daughter's tantrums started back up again with no changes, etc and she was actually suffering from headaches and wasn't expressing herself. They weren't very bad but just annoying enough that it was disturbing her and setting her off so quickly it was shocking.
Good luck to you.

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V.L.

answers from Seattle on

First off your child psychologist can be the only one to tell you what is wrong with your son, so really you should start there. Disucss with him/her everything you explained here. I have one child with an IEP and the other I refused one for because I think sometimes it is worse for them socially. I had heard at one time and I almost wonder in the case of what you describe with your son is that sometimes a child can be miss diagnoised as ADD or ADHD and have a High functioning Autism. But again it is a trained Psychologist who can answer that for you. Plus it couldnt hurt if he is having issues of fitting in at school having someone to talk to about it other than mom cause you know us moms dont know what its like to be their age.lol :)

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M.B.

answers from Athens on

My heart goes out to you! I think it is wonderful you have gotten him to 12 years old. My daughter was a toddler when I started noticing things that triggered me that something wasn't quiet what it should be (based on 3 older children). I went seeking help not only for her but for my sanity. As your son the sock thing was her, she would only wear certain type socks - those little dressy socks that didn't absorb anything - causing her feet to stink. Her clothes had to fit just right (hers couldn't be too tight until she was a teen, then they couldn't have a wrinkle) it was and still is a major ordeal getting ready in the mornings. I felt like an awful mama but the only kind of underwear she would wear was string bikini type at age 5 and 6! At 16- and now at 19 she wears thongs - go figure that one...! Another thing was her potty training and bathroom issues... when she had to go, she had to NOW! And she went everytime...use it before we left home before we ever got 8 miles down the road she would have to go again.
Well, I say all that to say this... we found out in first few years of school, through the testing and school pyscologist and others that she is ADHD with some sensory issues. I always claimed she was borderline HD most people that were around her for short periods of time would never know she had either issue.
She has been on and off of medicine since 1st grade. We tried a year in middle school w/o meds and went back on them in 8th, and then in 11th grade she decided she didn't want to take the medicine, through a lot of hands on help and through a lot of patience she graduated and is now attending a Technical College without medication but with a few freinds helping her stay on task she is doing fairly well..she is still there!
My suggestion is pick your battles carefully and support your son in all ways to get him through school. Stay on top of him by checking with his teachers constantly, let the school know you are available but you expect him to do his work and for them to let you know when he needs to be encouraged...do not do the work for him (that is babying) you can help him read - we took turns reading a page at a time in some cases, she still can't stand to read - in fact if there is reading to be done I can almost gaurantee it won't be done. Once in high school, FCCLA and FFA helped my daughter and my youngest son find their niche.. I have said that those clubs and classes helped my children more than any of their academic classes in making choices for their future. (find him an interest in what he enjoys) My son just finished his classes for an associates degree in criminal justice and my daughter is working on her Early Childhood Education Diploma, with hopes to go into pyscology for children or social work.
Keep the IEP going, I made a mistake and didn't do this for my daughter until late in highschool...it really helps the school stay focused on your childs needs and status. This will also follow your son to college and could be a big help. My daughter can have small group and longer time for testing even now, she doesn't test well at all. In college, they are not allowed the hand holding, so it takes effort to watch her struggle, she is accomplishing her work so far and doesn't have high scores, but I'm so proud of the two B's and the fact she pulled her GPA back up from a 1.6 to a 2.4 and is back in good standing for her Hope Grant Funds.
I hope this helps. I understand what you are feeling, and their have been times when the other children say their baby sister is spoiled - she just requires a lot of hand holding without it, she would not be where she is today I'm afraid.
She has never had a big group of freinds usually one or two at the most...but only one that they each put up with each other through most days and trials.
Also, not the least important - but the most - pray for the Lord's guidance for you and for your son and you will look back one day and see His hand in all the efforts you place there.
Best Wishes...my heart and prayers go out to you and your family.

M.

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N.H.

answers from Atlanta on

What they don't tell you most of the time is, once he has an IEP, the state (or county?) allots money for private schools. We went through all this with my son, but we found out too late about possibly changing schools. Not sure if it would be an option for you or not, but something you might decide to look into.
Good luck for you and Little Man! You just have to remember what is most important in life, and make sure he knows it, too.

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K.G.

answers from Macon on

Not to add to the issues, but has he been checked for Aspergers? I ask only because what I read above I see in my friends son. It took them several years to diagnose him and these were some of the issues, but for the tight pants....he's the opposite.
Ask his Ped's, can't hurt since you are already there. My friends son is starting to grow out of the 'tudes' but still has them. When he's tired or his routine is off kilter, BOOM, off he goes.
Wishing you a ton of luck in getting to the bottom of this.

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R.A.

answers from Charleston on

Your child's psychiatrist can help after observing him. It will take some time for the best help, and he needs it now to be adjusted in high school and into his adult life. His support system is not enough to carry him through, so you'll need the next level of professional help. My son went through some of this and getting the right medication helped in high school. He's in college now and still has organizational problems. We "push" him and remind him to get him through each day. By the way, usually children with these problems are very smart and he has a keen observation of others already, so be sure he knows he's loved. You received good responses here and we'd like to hear what happens. We're here for you.

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T.W.

answers from Spartanburg on

Yes to your question, it sounds like he does. My son has been helped tremendously by his OT therapy in this area. But, he was evaluated by the OT at school who said he did not have enough sensory issues to receive services at school... which was crazy because he could not handle school because of all these issues. Now he is homeschooled and getting private OT therapy. It has made a big difference. Read The Out of Sync Child- best book to start with in understanding this with your child. Good luck!!

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K.M.

answers from Denver on

Maybe, but like the others have said you should get an OT to do an evaluation or developmental ped. My 31/2 year old son has SPD, but with the age difference I know the symptoms will look different. My son also repeats himself alot and can get very "out of sync" if we are somewhere with alot of people, noise, etc...He doesnt throw tantrums but we have a very had time getting him to focus. I do know that SPD can be mis-diagnosed with ADD, so this could be the situation. My son is currently getting treatment through a place called the STAR center and it seems like it is helping! Good luck to you!

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