Does He Have A.D.H.D? Does Medication Really Help??

J.,

Try Fulvic acid - this stuff is amazing. look it up on the web. it's all the basic minerals that we need in a tasteless liquid.

Also use liquid b complex under the tounge for better absorption.

Here are other things you can try:

Lemon Balm - memory and help "learning"
DMAE - memory and attention
Acetyl L cartinate

J. C He very posibly has ADHD. YES, medication does help. The best program is little medication AND work with him to take responsibility for his actions. Together those 2 things are the best for him. It will slow him down so he can think before acting out. HE REALLY CANNOT CONTROL IT BY HIMSELF. He does need help NOW if he has ADHD because it only gets worse until you help him to get control. NO, I do not like the idea of medication all the time BUT you need to know what will help him the best.
L.

Hello J.,
I have a son who is adhd, Concerta was a good medication. My son couldn't sit still in his classes, he has moved to different schools because of his behavior. Now he's older he has grown out of his bad habits. My only worry is talking to strangers. There are types of adhd, it depends on the child too. I tried different pills, but its the body of the child. The docs wanted my son in counselling in order to get the medication. Sometimes kids do it for attention. Children with adhd have a hard time paying attention. You can suggest psychological testing to see what state of mind he has too. Good luck, G.

I wnt through similar issues with my son. They said he had ADHD, they would not let him come back to school without being on meds. We did the meds for a short time, but he hated the way they made him feel.

We went to all natural and that seemed to work.

Fish Oil pills help, the Omega 3in it. Celery is a natural calmer, we bought a juicer and juiced it with apples and carrots for him...

Also we took away all sugar and bought only fruit and sugar free items for him, back then they had so little, now a days they have almost anything you could think of with no sugar added. He loved the cherry and apple pies from the bakery... Safeway, Bel Aire and Wal Mart all carry the no sugar added pies.

Also, anything with red or purple dye in it, we stayed away from that.

He is now 20 and is doing well...

We also found through testing that he was ahead of his class, so his classwork was failing because he was bored. You may want to talk to the teacher about alternative ways of doing the school work.

He had to do a book report about the Donner party, he could not concentraite, but when we gave him a camcorder, he wrote a full story about it and played all the parts, my husband was the camera man and he filmed all parts of the report. They accepted that as his book report and gave him the choice of a book report or a mini film report each time after, it help the creativity and took away the boredom.

hope thia helps.

My son had the same problem in second grade, and my husband and I ended up transferring him to a different school after the summer break. Additionally,we found out that he had an eye problem, and took care of that over the summer with his optometrist. Also, we started to give him a vitamin supplement called GABA.

GABA is an amino acid derivative and key inhibitor neurotransmitter. Neurotransmitters are chemical messengers that carry information between nerve cells or from nerve cells to other target cells. GABA is synthesized directly from glutamate acid, and has the inhibitory effect on the firing of neurons and supports a calm mood.

Basically, some people get easily distracted, or they are thinking of so many things are once that it is hard for them to concentrate on one thing and to get tasks done. Also, a lot of these people become board easily, so if busy work is not given. This leads these people to find other ways to keep them occupied, and unfortunately sometimes it is acting like the class clown or getting into mischief. GABA allows for the brain to be able to focus on things, and not to get distracted as easily.

Since my son has been taking GABA, he finishes his homework without me having to be sitting next to him and constantly reminding him to stay on task. He does not have a hard time in class, and actually pays attention and gets his work done. When he finishes his wok he sits quietly, or reads a book until the class moves on to the next topic.

Hope this helps!

M. *~

Hi J.:
I realize you have many responses to this question and even though I didn't read them, I read your response and it sounds like you are not going immediately into the meds solution. If this is true, that is wonderful. I am not a doctor, but have noticed with many children these days, pediatricians like to medicate normally active children just because they seem more active than most. I think this is wrong to diagnose a child as ADD or ADHD without knowing all the facts or only seeing the child for a short period. If your son is dyslexic, there are many ways to help him through that frustration. My husband and father are both dyslexic and they both finished school with good grades. My father attended college when I was in my teens and even though he struggled, he loved the classes (this was after he retired from the military at 22.5 years) and did very well. My husband got help with his dyslexia by doing some memory and writing type exercises to help with his reading and math confusion. He is now a Structural Engineer with a Masters degree right out of High School. He has trouble with spelling and reading aloud, but excells in every other area.
Maybe if you find a subject your son is excited about, you can help him focus with that subject first and work on his other subjects through the one he loves. Example: If he loves math, then he can focus his spelling and reading through the math problems. Or if he loves to read, add some math into it and phonetics for the spelling problems. Although spelling is a big deal, it isn't the biggest when we have computers to help us in this area now.
Maybe take him out for special dates that help him focus on the areas he has trouble, but makes things fun.
He's also (as you already know) at a weird age. 12 was hard for everyone, I think. 7/8th grade. Not elementary and not high school. kind of don't really fit in anywhere special and the jokes make people laugh. Has he tried a drama class?

Just ideas to help. Good luck. Let us know how things go.
S.
Stay-at-home mom of 3.5 yr old girl

My daughter went through a lot of testing and we decided to put her on meds. She is on Metadate. It helps a lot! She doesn't know that she has ADHD. We talked to a specilialist and he had me tell her she is a little different and she needs medication to help her concentrate. She is not embrassed what so ever and not many people know. She doesn't feel any different, but we notice a difference. It helps her focus at school on classwork and at home on homework and chores. Also, helpful is in the morning she has a checklist that she has to complete for the day. It keeps us from agruing in the morning. She checks things off as she does them and mom is not nagging. It is kind of fun for her and keeps her focused. Good luck. I know it is a tough decision:) Research and find a good psychtriast. You can always try the medication and if you don't like it take him off of it. My daughter is 11 years of age.

Hi J.,

I am a wellness consultant and see many children with the same symptoms as your son. The company I represent have 10,000 doctors using these technologies in their practice and they find it very safe, non evasive and effective. They address sleep, environment, nutrition and exercise. I would go the natural route as sometimes western medicine has side effects that become more challenging then the problem itself. There will be a children's wellness expo in Santa Cruz on the 17th of this month.

I have gone to 2 of the events and have learned a lot on how to change the environment in your home to change the health of your family.

If you are interested in attending and meeting other parents that are in the same situation as yourself and talk to them about what changed their child's life and what they did email me and I will send you the flier.

Good luck to you.

N. Marie

Like some other moms said, I would have him tested by an educational psychologist first. The tests are very accurate and will determine if it is a learning disablilty or actual attention control problems. I live in Eureka and know of a very good one.

I'd say, based on what you've said that it is a good bet he has ADD or Adhd. My son has it. We tried 3 different meds and the third one, Metadate, is working.

My thoughts were that right now, he was getting negatives all day long. It was affecting his opinion of himself, his self worth and the way he sees the world. He was angry at people for being mad at him all the time when in his mind he couldn't help it. My son's self esteem is developing right now, I felt he needed a chance to become who I believe him to be--this really neat, funny, bright kid. He could not have done that without the meds. The metadate has been miraculous.

My son is also a good reader and very bright. Many kids with attention control issues can hyperfocus on something. The psych told us that it is likely he finds it soothing.

You know what they say about waking a mile in someone's shoes. While its good to get advice from many, if someone does not have a child with ADHD, it would be impossible for them to know what you are dealing with.

Hello I am a mother of three, 11,9,1 1/2. None of my children have been diagnosed with A.D.H.D however based on the information you provided doesnt seem to be he has that problem and needs to be treated with medication(this is my opinion). If he loves to read he shouldnt have a problem with doing is homework. Maybe you should try to sit at the table with him and help him do his homework everyday. Even if he doesnt need help, make him explain to you how if came up with the answer. He just might need that attension and he is telling you in a differant way. And the 10 month old i'm sure is taking much of your time. And after homework is done try to make it fun and bring him in the kitchen to cook with you.
If he's acting up at school. I would try to get more involved at school. Maybe you can meet with his teacher more often in a month then regular. Bring him with you to the conferences.

I would wait on the medication for now. just give him a little more EXTRA lovin and hugs help to.

Hi J.,

I'm by no means an expert, but he may have a mild form of asperger's syndrome. If nothing else, you could have him tested at Alta California Regional Centers. It is free. They test for a variety of learning problems. Your description doesn't sound like ADD or ADHD, but again I'm not an expert! It may also be something as simple as needing a tutor - even though he is great at reading, maybe his comprehension isn't upto par or he's getting overwhelmed in school with puberty starting to distract him. Good luck!

http://www.chefwalton.com

You can join this groups to have the opportunity to chat and ask about therapies, diets, supplements, meds and all your choices... As well as figuring out if your child is ADD or ADHD:
http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/ADD-ADHD-Parents/?v=...

Just click on join this group and be sure they will help!!!

Here is an other good one:
http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/ADHD_DrugFree/?v=1&a...

Love, G.. :0)
http://stemcellforautism.blogspot.com/

"I know of nobody who is purely Autistic or purely neurotypical. Even God had some Autistic moments, which is why the planets all spin." ~ Jerry Newport

My sympathies to you. I agree with what you say about too many med's out there. Also, there is no way you can get the kind of help you need from people on this list who are merely reading a few paragraphs and not seeing the bigger picture of what is going on in your family life. I myself am ADD (not ADHD), and I can (almost) never finish a book, so it surprises me to hear that he does read lengthy books. Keep in mind that brain waves shift at around age 12 (as they also do around age 5), and he is becoming an young adult with physical changes that can bring emotional changes. No matter what the diagnosis, make sure he knows he is loved for who he IS not what he DOES. Please get some professional advice from a school counselor or qualified pediatrician in addition to reading all the comments from the helpful and concerned moms on this site. My best to you!

Hi J., I would put your son on Vemma for a three month trial and see if he improves. I have read many testimonials on how this liquid supplement has helped improve ADD etc. You can buy it at www.DrinkSupplements.com, they do have a 30 day money back guarantee but in all fairness you should give it a three month trial and at that point you should have some indication if it is working or not, it is all natural, organic and plant derivative, if you would like more information send me an email at ____@____.com, Good Luck!

as a mother of a child with adhd ... for us the medication made a MASSIVE difference. And he's 12, at this age he should be able to sit still in class and express himself well.

What I would recommend is seeing a specialist to have him tested for a variety of possible issues. If you're willing to travel I can HIGHLY recommend Dr. Catherine Ross, in Santa Rosa. She's really good and really patient. And will run a bunch of tests to find out what's really going on. Whether it's adhd, dyslexia, or whatever. Or whether he just needs to see someone he feels comfortable talking to about his feelings.

Even if you don't see Dr. Ross ... find someone who specializes in these kinds of things.

As for the family that has everyone on meds ... most of these issues (add, adhd, depression, etc) are hereditary and genetic. And most of them have no cure. Only about 15% of those diagnosed with adhd as children "recover" fully as young adults (puberty sometimes leads to chemical changes in the body).

Good luck and I hope you get it all figured out.

Edited to add: I knew when my son was very very young that he probably had adhd. An 18 month old doesn't have the following: sleep 7 hours a night, doesn't nap and STILL runs at full speed all day long and not have something going on.

Maybe he's just being a "boy going through puberty".

Have him tested by his Dr. if you have that question. My son was dianosed in 8th grade after years of wondering why he day dreamed. My son also got good grades in elementary school and even in the first year of middle school and then just bombed in 7th and 8th grade. I never wanted to put him on medication but by the time he was diagnosed I thought maybe i had done more damage by not having him tested earlier and being frustrated because he could never get things done. He is now on a medication that he only really has to take on school days or if he has a project to finish on a weekend. It has made all the difference in him(attitude and drive) he seems to care more now. I never thought I would advocate medicating a child but it really has made a difference. Just know that it won't solve every problem and it is not suppose to. It is in some ways supposed to teach these kids how to focus, because they don't know how it feels to be able to. Just because your son can concentrate on a lengthy book does not mean he is not ADD. Alot of kids that don't have the Hyper active part of ADHD can concentrate on things that they are interested in like games and books. They probably dream while doing it , but it is not apparent that their mind is wandering.

Seems to me like he is bored. Also needs more time and positive interaction from you and your husband. Try reading " Hold onto Your Kids" ,an excellent book.
P..

Hi. You might want to try talking to someone at your local health food store first. I have been told that most times boys are not ADD or ADHD they just lack a vitamin level. I believe it's vitamin B, it's worth a try. You could put him on a good vitamin for boys his age (I would explain his behavior to the expert at the health food store) and see if it helps. Sounds like he can concentrate when he wants to on those long books but is bored in school. I'm not sure but if it was an ADHD problem he probably couldn't concentrate at all. My 14 yr. old drives me nuts, he will do the work at home and then not take the 2 seconds to turn it in. So we have had many conversations about why he would go to all that trouble to do the work and not take the few seconds to actually turn it in. They just don't think. I know it's frustrating. You might want to contact his teachers, I email my son's so that might be an option for you too. I would get a list of assignments from the teacher and then ask to see them as they are completed by your son. I know it stinks to have to do this but he needs to know that not doing his work is not an option. He just can't say Oh I don't have any homework tonight, you will know because you have been in contact with his teacher and then you can check it. If he knows he's not going to get away with it maybe he'll start doing the work. Good luck!

J.,

I have two daughters with ADD. One is 19 and the other 11. Both have tried medication. Medication was helpful for a time, but has not been the perfect fit for either of my girls. The most effective treatment that we have found is biofeedback. We take our 11 year old daughter to Dr. Mark Steinberg in Los Gatos. It is very expensive up front, but he is excellent with insurance companies. We have been reimbursed at nearly 100%. We buy our sessions in bulk and then he bills the insurance company and reimburses you. You can find out more information on his website. It's www.marksteinberg.com. Best of luck!

J.

Your son sounds a lot like other 12.5 yo boys I've known over the years, and none of them were ADHD, ADD, or otherwise covered by any disorder label. ;) I think the behaviors you're seeing are very typical of boys that age.

Before heading into medication, look into natural or dietary remedies for ADHD.

He may do well in an alternative learning environment. I'm not acquainted with the K-12 options yet (daughter is 4) but I know there are schools that do not require the sit-at-desk style of learning. Waldorf School of the Peninsula may be out of price or geographical range but it is a neat school to look at in terms of a model for creative education.

We all have different strengths and skills, and some don't fit in the traditional academic settings. I hope you find the most fulfilling option for your son -- but rest assured, he can find his own way to excel in life, in adulthood, even despite his K-12 experience.

No worries, mama. Children find their way into their own best paths in life. If you are seriously concerned about ADHD or the like, check into natural and dietary remedies first. And love him for who he is -- 12.5 is tough! But someday he'll be 42 and this will all be long behind you.

Best of luck!

Hi J., plese call me I would like to talk to you.
###-###-#### A. Bofinger.

My kids are still babies, but I've worked with a LOT of ADHD kids (& ones that weren't but someone wanted them on meds anyway), as a teacher's aide, as a child care provider, and as a houseparent in a facility for "wayward" kids. Your biggest red flag for _real_ ADHD is a lack of understanding that his actions have consequences. If he seems to be truly incapable of thinking before he acts (consistently--some of this is totally normal for a 12-year-old boy!), then he may actually be ADHD.
With the numbers of his friends that are on meds, it sounds like someone (at school?) is over-recommending. ADHD is tremendously overdiagnosed, and ADHD drugs are NOT without major drawbacks--including sending a message to the kids that drugs (amphetamines, in this case) can solve their problems.
How is his diet? Those who prescribe drugs like to say that diet (sugar, additives, colorings, food allergies) have nothing to do with ADHD, but there's plenty of research out there to contradict them. For an example: way back in high school, I babysat a little boy who was fine--unless he ate something with citric acid (any citrus fruits, plus it's a very common additive in anything from juice mixes to hot dogs). Then, he would bounce off the walls. He managed to grow up okay--he's in the Reserves now, and has a wife and 2 kids.

The first question I have is how is he sleeping? Does he snore at all? A lot of kids are getting mis-diagnosed with ADD when the real problem is related to poor sleep quality. This was happening to us- and I asked the dentist to look in my son's throat- and sure enough- he has massive tonsils that keep him from getting oxygen when he sleeps, leading to behavior and school problems. Most pediatricians totally miss this. Even when I said that he snores. The ENT will tell you any amount of snoring is not normal.
Usually the MO is that the school problems just get worse over time. If you are not getting quality sleep, your brain development and academic performance suffer.
Either way, I would really pay attention to his sleeping, and diet.
Past that, I have heard so many kids turned around and enthused by going to SCORE for tutoring.
best of luck,
J.

As an adult with undiagnosed ADD......I take meds so that I can concentrate. When I don't take medication it feels like my thoughts are swimming all around like bouncing balls in my head. With medication my thoughts are slowed down more and I can concentrate. I noticed that when I stopped taking them I could not complete my Graduate School Assignments....My mind could not focus!! Once I started them again I got lots of work done....with a clear head.
My friends son (13) is taking meds.....He is doing much better in school.. He always joked around because he was embarrassed about doing poorly among his peers. The meds are helping him. He is now in special day class...Maybe he could have gotten a better head start if he had stayed on them at a younger age. He is old enough to know that the meds help him so he takes them on his own. He is not out of control.
One of my children is 7. I'm almost positive that meds would help her....She is super hyperactive and school is difficult for her. I'm waiting until she is over 10 to decide on medication.
The add meds work quickly unlike the SSRIs. You can always see what your guy says about taking it. He may feel the same relief that others feel when their mind is not all hyper!
The meds are there to HELP your son....If they help him then great. If he doesn't need help then he doesn't need them. If he is happy then don't worry. If he is really frustrated then it may HELP him stop suffering.

Hey J. -

Let's go back a few steps first. How do you know he has ADD/ADHD? Has he had a complete neurological assessment done by the school district? Is he on an IEP/504 and getting accommodations? I ask because frequently 'someone' (a pediatrician, a teacher) will tell a parent that their child is ADD, without a complete and thorough assessment and formal diagnosis. And NO CHILD should be given meds without a complete assessment.

You also make the statement "It seems to me that he chooses not to do the work." This is a huge problem, J.. If you don't believe that your son has an actual disability that keeps him from being succussful, then you cannot possibly advocate for him, and he is not going to be successful. Period.

I'm not trying to be evil here, but I'll be seeing him in my practice when he's about 24 years old, barely finished high school, no college, has had 6 or 7 jobs already, out of work, severely depressed, and probably living at home with you, and you and your husband will be fighting far more than you are now, if you are even still married.

In short, this is not a good situation if you don't get more help for your son, and really begin to advocate for him. I deal with the fallout from this every single day professionally.

Three things:
1) Go visit Parents Helping Parents, and attend their parent groups of learning disabilities/ADD.
2) If you don't believe what you've been told about your son to date, I would strongly recommend getting an outside assessment done by another psychologist. I would be happy to give you the names and numbers of several excellent ones in the are.
3) There are other ways to treat ADD such as neurofeedback and CBT. I'd be happy to refer you to specialists in these areas as well.

Finally, YES, medication does work very well for ADD/ADHD, but it is not a cure-all. You gotta do a lot more than just take meds, unfortunately.

All the best...please let me know if you need any referrals.

J.

I don't know much about ADHD, but you could have your child tested. Another possiblility could be that his eye sight may have changed. Since your son loves to read, his eyes may have gotten worse. Also find out what he is interested in school or outside of school. Maybe he is bored. Grade school has a bigger variety of activities and assignments than in middle school. He may not be the paper and pencil learner.

J.,

Have you had him speak with the school psychologist or counselor? Maybe he is stressed or bothered about something that he needs help resolving. I would start there or speak with the family doctor to get a better sense of whats going on with him. Any possibility of dyslexia or learning disorder? Talk with the counselors and your doctor and see if he can be evaluated. I wouldn't label him as having ADHD just yet.

Take care,

Molly

I worked in a residential treatment facility for children ages 6-12 years. Many times we would see children come in at intake with an ADHD or ADD diagnosis. After further assessment, it turned out that they were actually anxious or depressed. Many symptoms are similar. I would have him assessed by a licensed psychologist specializing in children.

Dear J.,
Your son sounds exactly like my friend's son who I've known since he was just a tiny little kid and consider a nephew.
That poor child was in trouble every time he turned around. He couldn't sit still long enough to concentrate on a plate of food in front of him, let alone homework or a class assignment. It drove his mother absolutely crazy and it strained the marital relationship for them as well because dad was like...he's just a little kid, he's being a boy, leave him alone.
We laugh about it now, but at the time it wasn't funny...
I was at their house one day when he and his older sister got home from school. Mom said, "Take off your backpack and bring it here so I can see what the teacher sent home with you today". He looked right at her and said, "Backpack? What backpack?"
Hello! The one he'd walked home from school with and was on his back.
It was like he was just disjointed or something. You couldn't have a conversation or watch a movie because he just had no off switch and other times it was like "the lights were on but nobody was home". He had to be told a hundred times to do the slightest thing. "Put your shoes in your room. Put your shoes in your room. Put your shoes in your room...."
Finally, after many talks with the teacher and his doctor, he was put on Concerta and it made such a complete difference in him. In fact, he's 12 now and hasn't been on it for about a year. While he was on the medication, they really worked with him on his focusing skills and he was doing so well, it got to a point where the dosage was slowly decreased until he didn't need it at all.
As far as worrying about being on medication hurting your son's opinion of himself, Logan didn't see it as any different than taking medicine for a cold or a tummy ache. And he just flourished. It actually helped his self esteem because he wasn't out of control anymore and his grades improved and he went from being a headache to being a joy. He finally understood things and was able to finish tasks which made him feel really great about himself. He memorizes lines for parts in school plays and has been on the basketball team, cub scouts, you name it.
I am not one for medicating kids for any reason if it's not necessary and believe me, my friend did not just automatically start giving her child a pill every day. But finally, it was the only option they hadn't tried and it really helped. Like I said, the pill didn't work by itself...He had good teachers and a mom who were diligent about giving him the skills to focus.
I wish you the best because I can really hear your heart hurting for your son. It doesn't matter what other kids take or do. Don't worry about stigma. Try all resources you can find and perhaps medication will help. All kids are different. What works for one may not work for another. I just wanted to share what worked for Logan. I shudder to think where he'd be if not for the Concerta.

J.,
You have some very important questions about your son and the mama's here will have great feedback related to their children, their medications etc..and your child will respond to medication or holistic therapy depending on what his true needs are. A full and comprehensive assessment will give you that and is deserving before symptoms are masked.

He could have fine motor struggles which impeded his school work, processing, sensory, attentional, or none. Motivation is huge with these kiddos.

A few more things and they are my opinions, that is all. The reason why so many children are on medication is related to genetics and it is also because our kids suffer from nature deficit disorder!!! Read the book about that.
Kids do not get enough fresh air or movement..and boys need to move. Schools that once were insensitive to girl learning are now designed for girl learners...and girls can usually, not always though, sustain quiet work and fine motor work longer..think of who does most of the sit and craft work. Boy brains need to move. It is in all of the sophisticated research. Pre pubescent boys are experiencing hormone shifts which truly dulls the brain as well for this time in their life..so it is going to get more complex.

It is said the exercise gives the same result for some as meds without the side effects...You coul try that. You could talk to your Ped about Coffee as it is a stimulant many meds..

I also encourage you to check out GLEF (UTOPIA.COM) on meanining in learning, project based learning to help your son find his passion. GLEF is the George Lucas Educational Foundation and I had a chance to work on a grant for them once and it completely shiftted my focus on inspiring learning.

Hi J.,
You didn't mention what testing or assessments your son has gone through in order to get this diagnosis. Has he seen a neurological pediatrician? That type of doctor can give you a better idea if your son is ADD (rather than just doing a written assessment). Have you asked your pediatrician any questions? Also, you can have him assessed by an Educational Psychiatrist. Have you asked your son how he feels? Wnat type of breakfast does he have? A high protein breakfast can really help kids that are over active, or unable to do their work it "sticks to their ribs" better than a breakfast with sugar.

I would absolutly go through the private assessments. Yes, they cost money. These doctors may take payments, your insurance may pay for part of it, or you can charge it. In order for us to manage it, we charged it and cut out most of our other activities. It has been well worth it.

There are all kinds of dysfunctions that mirror ADD or ADHD. Sensory Integration Dysfunction is one of them (my son has this). He looked totally like a ADHD kid. The only treatment for this is Occupational Therapy. You can do a google search for Sensory Integration Dysfunction.

Trust your gut. You know there is an issue, fight to get to the bottom of it. The meds do work if there really is an ADD or ADHD problem.

Keep fighting, your son is worth it. Keep praying, it really helps. :)

Has your son had a full neuropsychological evaluation? That would give you a good starting point. There are many different ways to help a child with ADHD, if that is his diagnosis. Usually a comprehensive plan is needed, which may include study skills training, therapeutic recreation, diet, etc.

Hi J..

My son will turn 12 in a couple of weeks and sounds exactly like your son. I've struggled with the question of ADD for a couple of years now. As a young boy he was labled ADHD by Sunday School teachers just because he was active compared to the "brainy" boys who sat and never did a "boy thing" the whole time. His doctor and counselor have both said he is not ADD, but recently (probably because of my questioning it for so long) his doctor just told me he probably is ADD. I honestly believe it is a cop out for getting me to stop asking about it. She still believes all boys go through this around this age and has not wanted me to have him tested due to him being labled on all school records. His school teachers say they don't think he is. I truly believe our society has become lazy about boys being boys. So many have become "more like girls" and those who do boy things like act goofy and play rough are labled ADD. My son has anger issues because of divorce, but also "forgets" to turn his homework in after he's done it. Otherwise, he can concentrate on whatever he "wants" to. I have purchased a CD program called Total Focus to help kids learn to stop and concentrate. I've also heard that supplements can help if they are having a hard time staying focused. But somehow I believe that they will grow out of this sometime after puberty without the use of drugs. The question still remains, does my son have ADD? For me, I think Yes, he just might - if ADD really means that he is going through a natural time in his life that most boys go through. Should I medicate. For me the answer is no. I hope you will go with your gutt feeling. Only you can tell what is right for your son.

Hi J.,

I can't advise you on the medication. None of our kids are on any medication, nor are any of their friends (even the ones that are very hyperactive.) I find it surprising and scary that you know SO many kids who are.

However, our 10yo daughter is also struggling in school. It's not an ADD issue, or a lack of motivation. We think she has some sort of learning disorder. She's getting Cs or worse in spelling/writing and math and has started calling herself stupid. We're in the process of having her privately tested for LD (because the school refuses to, since she is "at grade level".) Anyway, I have two suggestions.

First, check to see if your school has some sort of process for addressing these types of issues. Our school district calls it "Child Study Team" meetings. The parents, teacher, principal, school psychologist, and any other specialists deemed necessary, all get together to discuss the issues and form a plan for diagnosing and/or resolving them. There is also a local organization called Parents Helping Parents that might be able to advise you on what other steps might be helpful or other resources available.

Second, you could try an experiment to determine if the crux of the problem is simply a lack of motivation or not. My mother recently told me a story about my brother. He was getting terrible grades, so she promised him a fishing pole if he could improve them. Sure enough, all of a sudden, his grades improved dramatically. If something along those lines worked for your son (maybe a trip to the amusement park or some other reward?), then you would know that you just have to find ways to improve his motivation.

I hope this helps. Good luck!
-D.

Prescription drugs for kids are SO overused. I didn't know a single soul in school on meds for ADD or anything of the sort! What has changed? Some parents have luck with diet. That is one thing that has changed - more processed food, pesticide use, increased vaccine schedule, more sugar and artificial colors and flavors in foods, etc. Get your son off dairy and wheat and ALL artificial colors and sugar-free products (anything with aspartame - it's a neuro toxin)Make homemade organic meals and get him to drink water - no soda! This should help. Get him on some high quality fish oils too - like Nordic Naturals from Whole Foods. Their brand is free from PCB's and mercury. Have you considered switching schools? Can you get him into a private school that doesn't put kids into a cookie cutter model? Not all kids learn the same. Stay away from the meds at all costs. It will affect his chemistry which is what diet and supplementation will do naturally! You may want to consider bringing him to see a naturopathic Dr (ND) Good Luck.

He doesn't sound like he has adhd, he sounds like he has some things going on in his life. He is 12, almost a teenager and it sounds like in a new school. What is going on in his life? Have you sat down and talked to him, letting him talk, to see what is going on or are you just jumping to punishments. When a childs behaviour changes it is usually due to another influence. Kids are too quick to be diagnosed with disorders, what did our parents do without drugs and medications? They had a normal upbringing and turned out fine. Kids act out due to changes at school, home etc. Look for a cause externally, if there isn't one, then take him for an evaluation. It just sounds like he is being 12. Good luck

Sounds to me like you need more information to sort out the best course of action. While your son is on the cusp of being a teen, which comes with a host of age appropriate attempts to become his own person, and that could be a part of what's going on, I truly believe kids want to do well and for people to think well of them. I think it is important to find out if there is a brain-based reason for his struggles (e.g. ADD).

There are different forms of ADD, and different treatments for each. You might want to read Daniel Amen and/or Driven to Distraction, maybe some Mel Levine - see if you recognize your son. Amen has a questionnaire that can help point you in the right direction, see if it is worth pursuing a diagnosis.

ADD and learning disabilities are real, organic conditions, not choices. When my daughter was educated about how she learns best - and that it is different from the mainstream - her reaction was relief (she wasn't stupid or bad, just different). When she learned she has inattentive ADD, she felt empowered - now she has the tools to help her be successful in school.

If your son ends up with a diagnosis, it will be just one part of who he is and he will have information that can help him be successful - that is a real choice.

I don't have a child with ADHD (she's only 18 months old - too soon to tell), but has your son seen a doctor or specialist about this? Maybe he's one of those kids who is bored or doesn't respond to the method(s) of teaching in the classroom. He might need a different approach to learning. I'm not by any means suggesting that your son may be "behind" or "slow", but some kids are "too smart" for "normal" school. My brother was like that. My parents took him to a learning center (I think it was Sylvan) and they gave him some tools/techniques that helped him get back on track with homework, etc... (turns out he has a very high IQ and was VERY bored.) He's very successful now. Just a thought.

I hope this helps!

J.
It is a big decision to give your child medication and one not to be taken lightly. Yes, meds are overused by many, but also used correctly by many. My daughter has been on meds since 4th grade for A.D.D. Prior to that it was always a struggle getting the homework done, but I didn't concern myself too much since it wasn't alot...then along comes 4th grade with double the homework and the nightly stuggles began. The medication helped us get our sanity back and enabled her to get her work done without the meltdowns.
We had to make adjustments when she got to middle school and changed doctors and medication...she is now in high school. We still struggle with organization, planning and time management; getting assignments done completely and on time and the biggest struggle we have had to overcome is getting it turned in on time because it cannot be found in the blackhole of the backpack (we have tried every kind of organizational system there is), but without the medication, she would not be able to cope. It still takes her longer than most of the kids she hangs out with to get her work done, but when she doesn't take it, it is impossible for her to complete her work. (she too can sit and read for hours as you mentioned your son does, but that is something they enjoy and want to do so they can focus on that)

Anyway, my advice, for what it's worth is to consult a reputable doctor who specializes in treating children with behavioral disorders, have him tested and then decide if this is best for your family. It sounds like he may have some other issues as well which should be diagnosed by a doctor.
Hope this helps.

Hi, I don't know alot about A.D.H.D. But I agree with you that it seems to be a fad with people taking medication. I just want you to really check it out and make sure he needs it.
My son had problems in school too. but they discovered he was dyslexic. Once he got the help from resource teachers, at least thats what they called them then, he did really well. It took him til High school to be main stream into regular classes. His problems were in reading and math.
this also was quite a few years ago since he is 35years old now.
Also , since you have other children, maybe he is looking for attention. I know I am an older mom and don't look at things the same as younger people do now a days.
But I do agree about the medication. Please check that out and don't take the easy way by giving him it.
I wish you the best. You are doing the right thing by looking for information.
Could just be his age, just before becoming a teenager.
Good Luck.
From a 55 year old mom of two.
V. S.

If your son can concentrate on a book for a long period of time (or concentrate on anything for a period of time) he is not ADD or ADHD.

Do not medicate him.

It sounds to me like he needs to be motivated. Find out what motivates him.

Also, he may just be acting out for attention.

J.,
If you have ever had any idea that your son has add or adhd now is when it really becomes apparent. I have heard this from more than one parent. So far as medications go, we use adderal xr. It is wonderful, the only problem is the side effect of not wanting to eat. Most of them cause this problem. Who is to say why the entire family has their kids on this medication. It is however heridtary, and being that some of them are foster kids....it could be inherited from their biological parents. I know that two of my three kids have it. One is very mild, the other is very extreme.
You can literally see his head spinning when he is not on the meds, and he can drive me nuts because he can't focus on anything. You can go to Webmd.com and they will have an assesment you can do to check the symptoms.
That is how I found out it was in my oldest also.
Do something soon though before it takes more of a toll on your relationship, the kids feel the tension and stress too, even if they don't hear it.
W.

ADHD is a medical diagnosis. My son was diagnosed last year and medication has worked wonders. our Dr. did say that sometimes other behaviors/issues come up as well because there are so many layers. My son knows that he takes medication to help him think better. he knows what it is like to be able to slow down. His writing is better, he reads a grade level above his own. But meds are not for everyone. the first one may not work, and you have to find the right fit. There might be anxiety issues, which are treated differently. sometimes increased physical activity helps when nothing else does. I wish you the best. Make sure you have a Dr that you trust!

Dear J.,

I think that a lot of people are overmedicating their kids. But if your son really does have ADHD, the medication can help. Be sure that the doctor prescribes the lowest possible dose and then ask about how to manage the medication as he learns to cope with his disability. Here's what happened with our son. In 2nd grade he started showing signs of inattention in school, we just thought he was bored and we worked with his teachers to make sure he was challenged. Then in 5th grade he really started to have problems. We had a specialist test him (not his regular pediatrician). He had Attention Deficit Disorder without Hyperactivity. He could "hyperfocus" on books and things he was interested in, but could easily tune out on everything else. He also had a grapho-motor (fine motor skills) dysfunction that made it harder for him to write clearly to express his ideas, which affected his grades and test scores. By getting that diagnosis, we were able to work with the school to get him seated near the front of the classroom and away from windows, doors, pencil sharpeners and other distractions. They also agreed to give him more time to write if he needed it on tests, etc. and not to grade him down for "poor penmanship". The specialist also put him on a Ritalin-like drug called "Concerta" at a very low dose. The doctor said that it was like an adult "having a cup of coffee to clear away the mental fog in the morning". My son took it once a day for about two years. In the meantime we worked together on helping him build up his organizational skills and work study habits. By the time he was in 8th grade he was not taking the pills regularly and we eventually weaned him off of them altogether before he entered high school. The best thing about the whole process was that he realized that he was capable, the problem could be solved, and that he could control his own situation. By the way, his work study habits are excellent now and he is doing well at a top university.

Good luck!

Regards,
L.

YES THE MEDICATIONS ARE OVER-USED!! Your observations are correct. One half of kids do not need medication.

Your son can read lengthy books. He does NOT have ADHD. He's funny and reads. Those are great qualities. It sounds like he's not a scholar, but he will still probably do well in life. Lighten up on him, you can see the effect all of your punitive behavior is having.

What is more important, great grades or happiness and good self-esteem?

Hi J. -

I am probably pretty opinionated about this subject but here goes.... :)

I believe VERY few, if any kids should be medicated for so-called ADD or ADHD - it is simply not good for the child - it makes it easier for the parent or teacher to have a medicated kid to deal with instead of one that is high energy or has difficulty focusing - I think the problem is with our collective expectations, not with the high energy behavior of a child (usually a boy). Our society does not work with 'boy' energy very well - we expect them to sit down, be quiet, pay attention, and do lots of verbal or written exercises. Oh - and if you have trouble with all that, we have medication for you. (can you tell this is a pet peeve?)

My oldest son was (and still is) an energetic handful and was recommended for medication - I flatly refused. We changed his diet, developed alternative strategies for him, and gave him plenty of exercise outdoors in the sunshine. We challenged him in his strengths, and never told him he was 'bad' for having difficulty focusing or having excess energy. He still has difficulty focusing, but he is doing really well. He is a senior this year in high school.
The other thing I recommend with this type of personality in a child is to limit screen time, and video game time- these kids can be highly addicted to them, and they don't need the stimulation - they get that all by themselves. Give them outdoors and lots of sunshine.

Good luck!

Hi J.!

So far, everything you've said sounds like a normal 13 year old boy (except for the reading a long book part), and nothing sounds ADD related. But you are his mother, so if you have concerns, you should satisfy your mind and ask for an evaluation. Like you, I believe that ADHD is over-rated and medicated for. My 12 1/2 yr old son has a couple of friends that I've know since Kindergarten (before & after meds) and I personally liked their personality better BEFORE their meds. But I didn't have to "live" with them either :o)

Now, to me, your son sounds very NORMAL :O) I have 3 boys one is off on his own, and the others are still at home, one being your sons age. Being "funny" is such a need right now from him and all of his friends. And yes, he's learning that some things are NOT that funny at the time he's trying to make someone laugh. He's figuring it out, though.

I have a question for you: He's 12 1/2, but what grade is he in? He almost sounds like he isn't ready for the grade level (Jr. High) Perhaps he is the "baby" of the classrooms? If this is the case, this might be your worry every year from now on because he simply might not be able to keep up, and uses humor to make people think he's "funny" and not "stupid".......It's kind of like a defense mechanism.

Either way, it sounds like he needs tutoring to feel "smart" and to get back on track. Unless you decide to retain him.........tough, but maybe the best answer.

Not one thing in your posting made me believe your son has ADD or ADHD. He sounds like a normal young man to me trying to figure things out.......not too successfully yet, either (in your mind). You need to help him somehow. This is a crucial age for boys.....they either continue their "good path", or they can get mixed in with the "bad path" by 8th grade and HS, which is usually because they feel "cooler" with the other kids who feel "stupid"..... The attidude begins at this age and out-of-the-blue! This is normal, though, know matter how unexpected it is.

Stay focused on him, and don't stop until you've found a solution :O)

What a caring, loving, and "in-tune" mother you are.

~N. :o)

I, obviously, can not read all the responses. But I do agree about some steps you should take:
First:
Talk to him, see if he can open up, even a little. He may just be feeling out of sorts- this is the difficult pre-teen/teen stage. Alot of things are changing and will continue to change for him.
Is it something at school? With a best friend? How does the teacher react to him?
Second:
Make sure that he is excerising. I am certified, I guess you can call it that, ADHD. This is super helpful. Don't make it a chore, but make it fun. Enroll him in after school sports or programs, find something he loves and go for it.
Third:
Diet, do research about this. There are certain things that people with ADHD should avoid.
Fourth:
Get tested if non of this works- but also give it time. When you have it certified that he is ADHD, than start to worry.
You can also give fish oil every day- good for ADHD, the heart, gotta love the omegas! Either way, if it does not help his ADHD, it will help his heart. That could do no wrong.
If you have to go to get prescription, consider many things. Risks vs Benefit, have you tried everything holistic first? Has your son been able to try different plans and have support from all around?
Go from there- take one step at a time, make it easier on you.
Hope this helps.

The description of your son sounds exactly like my 11 year old. When my son was in the third grade, he started having difficulties in school. Not focusing, being the class clown, out of his seat, etc. By the middle of that school year, I took him to a private child psychologist to be tested. It was determined that he was borderline ADD. Having been a classroom teacher myself for 20 years, I wasn't convinced of the diagnosis because I know that ADD doesn't just show up in the third grade.

I did not place him on meds, but things have gradually gone downhill with his school work ever since. It's difficult to watch a very smart child coming home with C's, D's and F's. My son does not like to do paper/pencil tasks, and that is ALL they do in school. It has been a nightmare getting him to do his homework.

Because he ha been doing so poorly in school, and his feelings of failure have increased, right before school started this year, I took him to a different psychologist - basically to help me get his head in a better place. I told her of the diagnosis from 3 years ago, so she could give me some feedback on that. I also gave her some notes that my son had written to us describing his feelings of failure. After a couple of sessions where they just chatted while playing cards, the doctor told us she saw him very focused while playing cards and didn't think he was ADD. She also had a hunch about our son, but didn't tell me what. The next time I brought him in, she did some preliminary testing that indicated that he is dyslexic. I was totally blown away because he is a fluent reader! She followed up with more testing that did confirm the dyslexic diagnosis. In the meantime, I went online and searched characteristics of dyslexics, and I was amazed at how many my son had. Yes, the characteristics will overlap with other learning issues, so you will need to have your son tested by an outside doctor to get an official diagnosis.

Since my son's diagnosis, the school psychologist has told me that they do not service kids with dyslexia. So I am bringing in an educational advocate to help me devise a plan for my son. I have also chosen to get training for myself to teach dyslexic students rather than take him to a learning center that specializes in dyslexics.

I know that my response was long, but I want you to know I feel your pain, and keep digging for an answer until you find it!

Blessings, L.

You said your son was a good reader, but have you thought of having his eyes tested comprehensively. There are some vision problems that aren't obvious at all, and can manifest as behavioral problems. Might be a good first step anyway.

Regards
P.

J., You have gotten some balanced input so far. Spending more time with your child around homework time and getting a professional evaluation done are both important to allow you to get to the bottom of what is going on. What are his forms of physical play/exercise? Engaging in regular outdoor play each day is key for helpng with focus. You said he seems like a happy kid and tries to make others laugh. Sometimes the drive to become popular can actually deter a child from doing their best work if they think that only the 'nerds' get good grades or apply themselves to school work. This isn't usually seen until jr. high age. I have a jr. igh age child who says that this is a problem in some schools (of friends she has). In my career, I have worked with Educational Pshychologists and know that the comprehensive testing is very important. I agree with not rushing into the medication option first--but rather, use it as a last resort. I hope these thoughts shed a little bit of light, I wish you the best, K. T